CHAPTER THIRTY

Emma

I was a hot mess of bouncing emotions after arriving back in Dallas. Trevor had given me what I’d thought I wanted, which was a relationship in the sex-only category. Then he’d thrown me for a loop by saying he just couldn’t do that. Did that mean we were over completely? It would seem so unless I could give him more. I told myself I was probably better off that way, yet I was already missing him when I walked into my empty flat.

I decided to go to the gym in the late afternoon to work off some of my frustration and saw his truck parked in the lot. But once I returned, it was absent. A pit in my stomach grew. Now I was pacing my living room, wondering what to do.

If I preferred casual and didn’t want a relationship, why did I keep reaching for my mobile hoping he’d rung or texted? Why did my heart pound silly when I thought about him desiring more with me?

I hadn’t expected to have feelings for him. And now that I did and was admitting it, what did I do? I thought about texting him, but I wasn’t sure how to express my emotions. Hell, I didn’t even understand them myself at this point.

Dammit. This was exactly the type of complication which had me steering clear of romantic entanglements in the first place. Yet despite being a skeptic who’d never known love, I felt a glimmer of hope that this thing between Trevor and me had the potential for more.

Three hours later, I was feeling stalkerish, having checked the carpark from my balcony over and over again until I finally saw his truck. The fact he was back made my heart leap into my throat. I took a deep breath, thinking it was now or never. I’d showered and changed into what I hoped was an appropriate I’m sorry ensemble, something sexy which I thought could serve also as a birthday present. I recognized the outfit was also a distraction technique. Because I still wasn’t sure what I would actually say to him.

I threw on my long dress coat, slipped on my four-inch heels, and went around the outdoor hallway to his room.

As I rapped my knuckles on the door, I had to keep myself from shaking. I could do this. I could take a chance and face my fear that he might have already changed his mind. I undid the buttons of my coat to give him a full-frontal view of the skimpy lingerie I’d donned.

Instead of Trevor, a handsome stranger opened up the door.

He simply stared with his brows sky high.

I quickly pulled my coat together. “Bollocks. I was looking for Trevor.”

“Hold on. He’s on the phone.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Emma, is that you?” Trevor’s voice came from inside the apartment.

I smiled tightly, watching him pop his head out the door to see me standing there. “Sorry, I, um... I didn’t realize you’d have company. I’ve gotta go.”

What in the hell had I been thinking? I could feel my face flaming with heat, my pulse had jumped past the point of healthy, and my urge to flee propelled me past the point of saying anything rational. I turned on my heel, wishing I could sprint in four-inch stilettos.

“Wait.”

I felt my arm being tugged back gently before I got crowded against the hallway wall, effectively trapped.

He lifted my chin so my eyes were even with his.

“I shouldn’t have come over.”

He smirked. “But you did. Come on.” He led me down the hall to my room, which I’d left unlocked.

“You have plans with your mate, and I didn’t mean—”

He cut me off with a tender kiss, both hands framing my face. “You didn’t mean to come to my room,” he breathed in my ear.

Self-doubt crowded my brain along with its BFF, insecurity. “No, I did.”

He stepped back, his amused gaze scanning my coat and heels. “Please tell me Mason didn’t see you naked under that thing.”

I undid the belt, showing him exactly the view of black lingerie with garters and black stockings at which his mate had got a peek.

“Holy fuck.”

I belted it back. “You should probably get back to Mason. And I’m sorry you were on the phone.”

“It was my aunt wishing me happy birthday, and we were wrapping up. And after getting a look at you, Mason will understand waiting. Why did you come by?”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry for yesterday.”

His eyes were locked on mine. “Don’t be if it’s how you feel. If you don’t want something more than sex, then I’m a big boy and will have to accept it.”

“I didn’t like the way we left things.” I took a deep breath. “I realize this is more than sex, Trev. I just don’t know how to talk about it.”

He broke into a grin. “Then we’ll go from there. Okay?”

It was that simple? I don’t know what I’d been expecting, but visions of a contract negotiation kind of came to mind. I expelled a breath. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Give me a minute to go check on Mason and Rufus?”

“If you have plans, I get it.”

“We don’t. He was in town for business and is heading to Irvine tonight, but he wanted to say hello to Rufus first.”

“You could bring Rufus here when you come back.”

He stroked my face. “You missed him?”

“Yes.” I think we both knew we weren’t talking about just the dog.

“I have his bed and stuff at my place.”

“I can come down there instead.”

“I’ll call you once Mason leaves.”

When Trevor rang, I was down in his room in minutes. I found myself a bundle of nerves.

He must’ve read the panic on my face for he pulled me inside as if knowing I was about to flee. Even though he’d said we could go from there, the simple acknowledgment this was more than sex, I knew I needed to give him more.

“You okay?”

I shook my head, trying to fight my emotions. Best to blurt it all out. “I have a tough time talking about my childhood. Nothing about it was good.”

My words obviously took him off guard. He cursed under his breath before grabbing my hand and leading me to the wingback chair in the corner of the living room. There, he settled me onto his lap. But Rufus wasn’t content to be left out. He lumbered over and set his head on the armrest, waiting for me to pet him and thus making me emotional. Rufus had come from a rough start, too, yet he seemed to have no issue with accepting love and affection now.

“Hey, big guy. I missed you, too.” I scratched him for a few minutes before he turned and went back to his bed. “He’d make a great therapy dog.”

“Some people say a dog can see into a person’s soul. That they can tell when you need a good listener.”

I’d believe that.

“I don’t have a family, and I don’t talk about anything before moving to New York at eighteen,” I said. “I don’t celebrate my birthday, and I don’t have anyone I keep in touch with from that time before New York. I realize I may not be opening up completely, but it’s a big step for me to share that much.”

He kissed my forehead. “I can imagine it is. Just you coming over here tonight speaks volumes. As for the rest, I’ll respect the boundary. And if there are any other questions which bother you, then you can tell me. I promise not to push.”

Tremendous relief flooded my heart and head. “All right.” I wanted to do this. Fight the apprehension and let him in. “Maybe we can do a lightning round of questions to get to know each other better.” I figured him prompting me was better than trying to get it out myself. And I was ready to rip off the band-aid.

He gave me a sexy smirk. “When you first arrived in New York, what was your first impression?”

I smiled because that was easy to talk about. “Magical. It was my new beginning. I was broke and lived with a ton of roommates, basically renting a cot in the corner of a room. I started working as a receptionist at the Stone Group that first year. Didn’t meet Simon until a year later, and I’ve worked for him as his assistant ever since.”

“I hate that I’m about to ask this, but you two—?”

I shook my head, accustomed to this perception. “Nope. Never. He was always like an older brother and, well, wasn’t my type.”

“My sister said you may have been hurt by someone. You told her that first day you met.”

I weighed my words carefully. “I let someone in. Trusted him. Turned out he was married, and he broke that trust. That’s really all I want to say about him.”

“No wonder you bonded with Avery that day in the gym.”

“Yeah. So, um, how about you? Any serious girlfriends?”

“Girlfriends, yes. Serious, no.”

I told myself I didn’t care, but his answer relieved me. I didn’t want to think of him having been in love with another girl. This was selfish, but what could I say? Suddenly I was becoming possessive.

“And definitely none who wore sexy lingerie for me as a birthday present.” His fingers rubbed over the lace at my thighs.

“That’s only the start of your present.”

He lifted a brow while I climbed off his lap, shed the coat, and went to my knees in front of him.

“Happy Birthday, Trevor,” I breathed, unfastening his jeans. We were in new territory, but for the first time, I felt as though it might not be so scary, after all.