Zane

The door closes behind Ruby. She's gone.

I can't feel anything in that moment. I'm numb.

Her words echo in my mind, playing over and over as I stand there. She doesn't want anything to do with me. All of my careful planning of what to say, how to explain how I feel, how I've changed…

None of it matters.

I'd already done too much to hurt her.

"The nerve! I cannot believe she would disrespect either of us in such a manner! Please accept my apology on her behalf, Prince Zane."

I look over at Ruby's grandmother, shaking my head. At least she broke free of this mess. I'm proud of her for standing up for herself.

"She didn't do anything wrong," I retort. "I have to go."

I can't be here in this space with her for another second.

I stride out the door, ignoring her calls to come back and have some tea. Like I want to sip tea after what just happened. With the other person Ruby apparently hates, no less.

The wolf stirs in me, the shock starting to wear off. Not good.

I step into the elevator already waiting for me with heartfelt appreciation for the multiple car system. The door closes as I see Ruby's grandmother running out of the apartment after me.

Just in time.

As the elevator moves, I try to take deep breaths. No matter what else happens, I need to control the wolf. It thrashes inside me, howling in despair at having lost Ruby. Sweat breaks out on my forehead as I try to manage it.

At the same time, I feel the urge to throw myself into every indulgence, drown myself, bury myself in every vice to forget her. Fill my life with everything I just expelled from it.

It isn't Ruby.

But it would be something to fill this blankness, this emptiness.

Even as I think it, consider it, I know I won't do it. I was right when I told Ruby she'd changed me. Irrevocably, it seems.

As I walk out of the building, I make a vow to myself.I am going to be the person Ruby deserves. Whether or not she wants me in her life, I am going to continue to try to be the better man I've been trying to become.

The vow steadies me, gives me an anchor to hold on to once more. I get a firm grip on my control, taking deep breaths as I walk away.

I can't go back. I can't slide back into the skin that I didn't want Ruby to see. It isn't happening.

Maybe I can't make her happy. Maybe this is it and I won't have her in my life again. Never have her in my arms again. But I can do this much.

I can be the man she should have.

She's left her indelible mark on me, an undeniable desire to rise above where I have been. To be the best version of myself. And the best version of myself can also do something else.

I can make sure Ruby never has to be under her grandmother's thumb again. That woman is a bitter, controlling boil on the hide of society. I don't want Ruby to ever have to deal with her again. She should get the opportunities she deserves without having to change, to stifle who she really is.

I'll make sure she receives those opportunities.

I go back to my building and make plans as I reach my floor, feeling purpose fuel me even as my heart aches in my chest. The first thing I do when I'm home is use my HUD to bring up the files I have on Ruby's parents. I looked them up in preparation for facing her again. It may be an invasion of privacy, but I needed every edge I could possibly have.

Not that it made any difference in the end.

I shake off that thought.

In those files I obtained, I found that her parents are in a terrible place financially. And I can fix that. I want to fix that for Ruby. But I need to be careful so they don't realize it's from me. It has to make logical sense. I can't just give them money.

Hmm.

Ruby's father is an artist.

I consider that as I sit down, tapping the armrest of the plush armchair I like to think in. Opening his portfolio, I skim through his work. Not bad. Pretty good, actually.

Art is a world where fortunes are fickle. If he'd gotten one of the right patrons, he could have been making an amazing amount of money by this point in his life. I've seen less talented artists than him command ridiculous prices for their over hyped wares. I know a little about that world. I've dabbled in galleries, not seriously, but enough that I have contacts.

Contacts that could perhaps use an artist of his caliber.

I make a phone call.

"Hello, Eugenia. Yes, I was wondering…"

I send her his portfolio. She seems interested.

I hang up the phone. First thing down.

I feel a renewed sense of purpose as I make moves to help Ruby. Something to hold on to even though the future seems bleak without her.

As the days pass, I keep tabs on her. She goes back to her parents and starts applying for colleges. I quietly arrange for her to receive a scholarship, one I set up for her. She may have received one of the many she applied for, but I want to ensure she doesn't have to worry at all about paying for school.

She gets into college. A good one, based on her own ability, her own merit. I feel proud even as I wish I could congratulate her in person. Instead, I send flowers anonymously and try to keep myself busy with work, filling in the holes created by pulling out of the shadier dealings I’d been a part of before Ruby.

It keeps me occupied. But work doesn't keep me fulfilled. It just provides a distraction, a much needed one. But still, not any kind of emotional fulfillment.

I now realize that all of my risky behavior before had all been an attempt to fill that same void. Fill it with artificial highs, adrenaline rushes, physical pleasure. But it hadn't been working even before Ruby.

Not really.

I'd always been chasing a better high, always been looking for more. Good thing I'm done with it. Now, I shove as much into my day as I can, hoping to exhaust myself into a good night's sleep. It is only partially effective. I still toss and turn, knowing something is missing.

Someone.

But I continue to exist, to do my best.

Weeks after that fateful day at Ruby's Grandmother's, I come home after a grueling day. Home to the empty apartment that I try to stay away from as much as possible. It's a constant reminder that I'm alone.

Not bothering to change, I simply take off my coat and loosen my tie before taking a seat on the couch. Sighing, I lean my head back and close my eyes. Another empty day. Going into another long night.

Alone.

Maybe I should let myself wallow a little. Just for tonight.

My eyes pop open as the distinct bell of someone arriving sounds through the place. Who could be dropping by unannounced right now? Don't they know I have a bout of wallowing scheduled?

"Who is it?" I ask the system, completely disinterested. Maybe they'll just go away and I won't have to deal with anyone.

A holographic image streams into place in front of me. My heart almost stops as I stare at the picture in front of me.

Ruby.

It's Ruby.

I stand as I take her in, take in every detail of her appearance. Long, dark red hair, that hooded red coat, ripped jeans, sneakers on her feet. So real.

She looks around a little nervously.

Ruby.

"Let her in," I say hoarsely.

I turn and rush to the door, waiting impatiently for the elevator to bring her up. It takes less than a minute, but it feels like I stand there for an eternity.

When the doors open and she steps out, I take a step towards her, still not quite believing she's here.

But she is.

"Why are you here?" I ask, needing to know. I can't pretend to make small talk.

She closes the distance between us slowly, stopping a pace away. "Zane," she says softly, searching my face. She's just as beautiful as ever. Her skin glows with health. "I… I came to apologize."

I blink at her, frowning, my thoughts completely derailing. "Apologize?" I repeat, not sure I heard her correctly.

She nods, stepping even closer, until I could reach out and touch her.

My hands fist at my sides.

Careful. She may not want me to touch her.

An apology is just that.

"Yes. It took some time for me to calm down, but when I did… I realized I wasn't being fair to you. You never really got a chance to tell me the truth." She shrugs, shoving her hands in her pockets as she meets my eyes directly. "I'm sorry for not giving you that chance. I should have."

I can't believe she would think she needs to apologize. "It's okay. I understood," I say even as I want to just grab her, kiss her.

But she's just apologizing. She doesn't want anything more. I have to remember that.

She shakes her head, a small smile appearing on those full lips. "You're making me feel even worse," she murmurs, moving slightly closer again, until I can smell her, feel the heat radiating from her body. This is torture. A kind I'll gladly take forever. "Zane." She licks her lips and my eyes follow the movement, transfixed. "I want to say more."

I nod.

"Alright," I murmur. I'll let her speak all night if she wants, if it will keep her here.

She chuckles a little, looking away, but only for a moment.

"Zane," she says, her eyes so sincere as they meet mine again my heart aches. "That night we spent together was the best night of my life." I hold my breath, unable to believe my ears. Too afraid to let hope seep in again. But she keeps going. "Imagining going through the rest of it without you… it's breaking my heart." She takes a deep breath. "Zane. I love you."

Even before the words are fully out of her mouth, I have her up in my arms.

And my mouth on hers.

I turn around, carrying her inside even as I kiss her desperately, still unable to fully accept that she's in my arms again.

That she's real.

That she wants to be with me.

That she loves me.

How did I get so lucky?

But even as she wraps her legs around me and kisses me back, as I get drunk on the flavor of her, the scent of her, I make another vow. I vow that she'll never regret this decision. That I'll be the man she needs me to be for the rest of our lives together. The rest of our lives.

Together.

The thought of it makes my heart swell. Ruby is my weakness, but she's also my strength. Suddenly my whole life feels full to bursting with her in my arms, the years ahead filled with possibilities.

With happiness.

I have everything I'll ever need, right here in my arms. And I'm never losing her again.