Lara
We’re mates.
Mates.
As in, destined-to-be-together.
As in, the world predetermined that we were meant for each other.
As in, there’s nothing we can do about the fact that we’re supposed to love each other.
We can go for it or we can fight it, but the world will be so much simpler if we just accept that we’re destined for one another.
“I don’t know what to say to you,” I tell Ronan because right now, I’m so confused. My head is spinning and everything feels strange. I was completely overcome with emotion, with arousal. That’s never happened to me before and I’m not sure how to handle the feeling.
“Tell me you’ll give it a shot,” he says. “Tell me you’ll be brave.”
“What do you want from me?” I whisper, shaking my head. “I came here because my neighbor is a psycho. I expected to give you money and have you represent me in court. I didn’t expect for you to say whatever it is you’re saying. What are you saying, exactly?”
I need to hear the words because I’m going to freak out. I’ve lived here long enough to know what wolves do to their mates. I’ve lived here long enough to have seen the scars, to know about the mating process, to understand the utter importance of mating. When you mate a wolf, they bite you and you bite them. The scars are a visual reminder to the rest of the pack that you’re taken, that you’re spoken for.
I’ve been here long enough to see that.
I’ve been here long enough to know that wolves mate for life.
It’s not like when you date someone and you might get tired of them and break up. Wolves don’t do that. When you mate, it’s forever. End of story.
Is that what he really wants from me?
“I want you to be mine,” he says, and Ronan’s eyes burn into mine. I should say no. I should be rational. I should be normal. The problem is that all logic and reasoning seemed to flee the moment I laid eyes on him. The problem is that I feel like I’ve known Ronan forever. I feel like he’s someone I’m connected to. He doesn’t feel like a stranger.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“I think it’s an incredible idea,” he says with a smile.
“Ronan, we’ve only just met.”
“Tell me you don’t feel this connection between us,” he steps close. He’s too close. He’s almost touching me, but not. He’s invading my space perfectly without laying a damn hand on me.
“Of course I feel it,” I say. “But it’s not real. It can’t be real. It’s too…intense.”
“It’s because we’re destined to be together, Lara.”
“I don’t believe in mates.”
“Destiny doesn’t care whether you believe in it or not.”
I should leave because if I don’t walk out of this office right now, I’m going to melt in his arms. Ronan is the biggest, sweetest man I’ve ever seen and I really, really want to give in to him.
I really want everything he’s saying to be true, to be real.
I really want him to be the one.
For so long, I’ve had to be strong. For so long, I’ve had to fight the world all on my own, and here he is. He’s offering me something I’ve never had before. He’s offering me strength and compassion and kindness. He’s offering me himself. He’s offering me his future.
He’s offering me everything and I want to say yes.
I want to take it.
I’ve never wanted anything the way I want him right now, but I can’t. I just can’t. I need to stay in control of the situation, of myself.
“I’m sorry,” I say firmly, but my heart sinks as I say it. “I just don’t know if this can work. It’s too much, Ronan. It’s too much, too soon, and I just…I need some time, okay? I’m sorry.”
I hurry quickly out of the room and down the hall. Fee, Lyon, and Joyce are all standing in the foyer talking about something. They stop as soon as they see me and they look at me with curious expressions on their face.
“Excuse me,” I whisper as I scurry past them and out the door. Thank dragons I manage to wait until I’m outside before I start crying. I can tell it’s going to be a big, fat, ugly cry and it’s really something I’d rather do alone.
It’s not that I mind crying in front of people. I’ve cried in front of my friends many times, but this is different. These are strangers, and they’re Ronan’s friends, and I’m pretty sure they know I just crushed his dreams with my rejection.
It’s not fair.
I get in my car right as the floodgates open and I start crying. “Sobbing” would be a more accurate description. I sob and bawl and cry in my car in the driveway until I swear the front door to the house cracks open, and then I get it together and pull out of the driveway. The last thing I want is someone to come talk to me, to try to console me. The last thing I want is one of Ronan’s friends to come see what my problem is, to see what I’m out here doing.
I drive straight home. I don’t even stop for food. I just go home and park in my driveway and head up to the house.
“Hey!” A voice calls out as I fumble for my keys, but I ignore Lester as I try to unlock my door.
He’s literally the last person I want to see right now, the last person I want to deal with.
“When are you going to leave?” He shouts. He’s in my driveway now. Why the hell can’t I get the door open? “I want you out of here, human. You’ve got no right to be here. This is our town!”
Finally, I manage to get my key in the lock and I turn it. Then I push the door open and step inside, slamming it shut just as Lester reaches my porch. He keeps rambling on outside and even rings the bell, but I ignore him. I’ve gotten good at ignoring him. I even have a routine.
The first thing I do is make sure everything is locked up tight. My front door is dead-bolted and the backdoor is locked, too. Then I get a big glass of wine, my headphones, and go to my room. I down the wine. I should sip it, but I don’t. Who has time for that? The glass goes on my nightstand and I plug in my headphones. I have an entire playlist of loud, emotional music to listen to on days like today.
I lie back on my bed, close my eyes, and just let the music play. The beat pulses through my body as I cry, reminding me that there are worse things than taking a chance on love.
There’s always being alone.
And it’s kind of the worst thing of all.