Lara
By the time we finish talking to the police, it’s past nine and I’m exhausted.
“Thank you for coming,” I say to Ronan. I shouldn’t have called him. I shouldn’t have needed him so much. I should have been strong enough to deal with this on my own, but I wasn’t. Even though I think it’s selfish, I’m glad he came. I’m glad he was here for me. I’m glad he was here to comfort me, to hold my hand. I’m glad he was here to help me talk to the police.
I was relieved I found the spray paint before the cops came because, as expected, they checked my garage and outdoor trash cans. I didn’t bother trying to claim I was framed for the crime. Instead, I threw everything away in my bathroom trashcan before they showed up. If they saw anything at all, they would have charged me with filing a false police report, and that’s one more charge I don’t need.
“Of course I came,” Ronan looks surprised. “I would do anything for you.”
“I was scared,” I admit, running my hands up and down my arms. It’s chilly outside. It’s colder than it should be. Maybe I’m just still afraid, still nervous, still worried about what I’m going to do. “You made me feel safe,” I look up at Ronan. “You made me feel like you were going to protect you.”
“You might not accept me as your mate, Lara. I understand I probably scared you when I claimed we were destined to be together. I still firmly believe that. For me, this means that even if you never return my affections, even if you never feel the same way about me, even if you never love me, I will always take care of you.”
His words are more than I can take right now, and I wrap my arms around him. We seem to fit perfectly together, and for a minute, I wonder what would happen if I just said “okay.” I wonder what would happen if I stopped fighting and just gave in. I wonder what would happen if I just accepted what Ronan is offering.
I had a moment of bravery in his office before I got scared. There was a moment when I tried to give in to my feelings, but then I thought about everything too much and I freaked out.
Now I wonder why I did that.
Now I wonder why I’m fighting so hard to refuse Ronan’s advances.
The truth is that I feel the connection, too. I feel like I’m his mate, too. I’ve never felt such a strong pull toward another person and when I’m close to Ronan, I feel complete. I feel whole. I feel alive.
I want more of this feeling because it’s addicting, and I could quickly get used to feeling this safe and secure all of the time. I could quickly get used to feeling this comfortable, this wonderful.
I could quickly get used to Ronan.
Maybe it’s time to stop being so damn afraid all of the time. Maybe it’s time to stop trying to take care of myself. I’ve been fighting this thing with Lester for so long that sometimes, I feel like all I do is fight. Sometimes I feel like I have to be on guard all of the time.
Ronan is a refuge, a haven.
Ronan is a reprieve.
Ronan is perfection.
And maybe it’s time for me to stop sabotaging my own love life and just give in to these feelings. Maybe it’s time for me to accept that it’s okay to let something good happen to me. Maybe it’s time for me to take what’s offered.
Maybe it’s time for me to admit to myself and to everyone around that I feel this thing, too. I feel like he’s my mate. I feel like he’s my safety, my saving grace.
I feel like he’s the one.
I take his hand and squeeze. He looks at our clasped hands and then up at me. His eyes hold questions his mouth doesn’t ask.
Do I want him?
Do I love him?
Do I need him?
How do I show him that I’m ready? How do I show him that I’m sorry I was so afraid before? How do I show him that this time, things are going to be different?
“Come inside,” I say the words before I have time to over-think. I blurt out the request, the invitation. I should have thought of a way to be seductive about, but right now, I’m still on edge and I just want to be alone with him.
A slow smile spreads over Ronan’s face. For a quick second, I think he’s going to grab me and kiss me, but he doesn’t. Maybe he’s nervous someone is watching or perhaps he just doesn’t want to freak me out. Either way, I appreciate that he’s giving me a little bit of time, a little bit of space.
He’s being patient, and for a girl like me, that’s like giving me the damn stars.
“I would love to,” he says, and I turn and lead us into the house. Ronan moves to the center of the living room and I quickly lock the front door and turn around, standing with my back to the door.
Ronan looks around the room, taking it all in.
“You have a lovely home,” he says.
“Thank you.” I don’t move. I just watch him. He’s here, in my home. My mate is here and I know what happens next. I know what happens when I accept him as mine. I know. I understand.
This isn’t a commitment I’ll enter into lightly. This isn’t like some poor, drunken decision that can be erased or undone. No, this is something else, something more. This is something deeper.
“Did you decorate it yourself?” He asks, picking up a picture of me with the students I taught last year. “It’s very pretty.”
“Ronan,” I whisper, and he turns to me.
“Lara?”
“I’m ready,” I say. “I’m ready now. I wasn’t before, but I’m okay now.”
“What are you saying, Lara?” His eyes dilate and if I’m not mistaken, they change color, just a little. That’s his wolf fighting to be free. That’s his wolf being excited. That’s him at his core, delighted to have his mate so close.
“I’m yours, Ronan.”
Ronan instantly closes the distance between us. He strides across the room and pushes me back against the door. His hands pin mine over my head and our chests brush against each other.
“Tell me again,” he says. “And baby, you need to be sure. There’s no going back. Once you mate with a wolf, it’s forever. It’s eternity. It’s for good.”
“Ronan,” I whisper. “I love you. I’m ready to be your mate.”
His lips meet mine and my heart soars.
Who knew love could feel like this?