CHAPTER ONE
Block Island
Present Day, Late July
The choppy water of Long Island Sound pitched the ferry, but Vivi knew that wasn’t why she was in danger of losing her lunch. Her fingers gripped the edge of the bench seat while her knee jiggled at the pace of a hummingbird’s wings. It had been eighteen months since her heart experienced this particular kind of workout.
“You look green,” Cat said. “Are you feeling okay?”
Snapping from her daze, she turned toward Cat, who had extended Vivi the last-minute invitation to vacation with her and her brothers at their family’s Block Island summer home.
“I’m fine.” Vivi quelled her nerves and sat upright. “Just really ready for this ferry to dock.”
And even more ready to see David, who’d been the object of her affection for more than a decade. The accumulation of years of correspondence, movies and museum outings, afternoons in Central Park, and private jokes had convinced her of their destiny. Until recently, the fact that her sentiments had been unrequited had never deflated her hopes. No surprise, considering life with her dad had taught her not to demand much of love.
Cat leaned toward her. “I’m sure you’re eager to see David, but he’s different now. He’s distant.”
Vivi stared at the floor. When he’d moved to Hong Kong after his mom’s death eighteen months ago, she’d noticed a change. A sudden, mysterious withdrawal from everyone.
“He’s never explained his radio silence, not even to your father?” Vivi asked.
“Especially not to Dad. Ever since Mom died, they barely speak to each other, although neither will tell us why. Maybe things will improve now that he’s home.” Cat grimaced. “Who would’ve guessed I would’ve missed him so much?”
Vivi would have. While others might describe both Cat and David as somewhat aloof, she knew them to be fiercely committed to and protective of their close friends and family.
She glanced out the window, over the ocean. The last time she’d visited Block Island had been several months before Mrs. St. James’s cancer diagnosis. A lifetime ago, now. “Thanks for inviting me this week, Cat.”
“I’m glad you could come on such short notice.” Cat smiled.
“The big perk of being a teacher—a wide-open summer schedule.”
“What about your singing gigs?” Cat asked.
Vivi shrugged. “Seeing that I’m maybe one step above an anonymous coffee-shop performer, I doubt I’ll be missed this week. There are a handful of singers who rotate through the schedule at the bar, so I’m covered.”
“You’re at least two steps above a coffee-shop guy,” Cat teased. “But I’m glad you made it work. I’ll have much more fun with you than I would’ve with Justin.” Cat’s expression turned grim at the mention of her tumultuous relationship, which had apparently just gone south yet again.
“For sure!” Vivi winced as the words left her mouth, realizing they weren’t the most compassionate.
“My life is so screwed up lately, it’s driving me crazy. I really need this time away from work and Justin. I don’t want to think of either for the next several days.” Cat clamped her hand on Vivi’s thigh. “Promise you’ll help keep me sane.”
“God, Cat, if you’re counting on me for sanity, you really are screwed up!” Vivi laughed.
“Good point,” Cat joked. Then her phone rang. She frowned at the screen and then pouted. “Justin.”
“Don’t answer.”
Cat frowned, then mouthed “sorry” as she answered his call. She immediately stood and walked away, which left Vivi free to anticipate seeing David again.
He’d barely kept in touch with anyone after his move. She recalled the final letter she’d sent him on the first anniversary of his mother’s passing. His cryptic reply had politely warned her to leave him be, so she’d given up and started pushing him from her mind, determined to finally get over him.
She’d nearly succeeded, too, by throwing herself into the many other things in life she loved—her elementary school art teaching job, her photography hobby, her weekend singing gigs. Then, three weeks, three days, and seven hours ago, Cat had casually mentioned David’s unexpected move back to New York. Vivi had feigned nonchalance until she’d been alone. Then she’d been unable to concentrate on anything else.
The next day, he’d sent her a brief e-mail promising to get together as soon as he’d settled into work and his new home. Somehow she’d since refrained from calling to welcome him home, or worse, from wandering around his Manhattan neighborhood hoping to “accidentally” bump into him. But nothing had prevented her from fantasizing about seeing him again.
Cat reappeared, looking irritable, and shoved her phone into her purse.
“Forget about Justin.” Vivi patted Cat’s thigh twice. “Move on.”
Cat’s chocolate-brown eyes fixed on Vivi. “Easier said than done. Surely you know that as well as anyone.”
Vivi’s eyes dropped to her hands, clasped together and resting in her lap. Yes, I sure do. Today’s anticipation of the long-awaited reunion unleashed a million thoughts and emotions. Might he finally see her as more than his friend, his muñequita, a little doll? Or had the prolonged absence from each other’s lives diminished the closeness that had once existed?
Experiencing the feelings was challenging. Concealing them from Cat—clearly impossible.
The ferry horn’s blast pierced the air, ripping Vivi from her thoughts.
“Grab your bag. We’re docking.” Cat hopped off the bench and proceeded to the deck. The breeze whipped her waist-length hair around her face. She traipsed off the ferry with her Louis Vuitton suitcase in tow.
Other passengers appeared to be admiring Cat’s long legs, luminous hair and eyes, and finely chiseled features. Even when not working the runway, Cat looked every inch the high-profile fashion model.
Vivi sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose in response to the pungent stench of fish and engine fumes in the harbor. But nothing destroyed the romantic notion of a bygone era evoked by the National Hotel, a white-clapboard Victorian-era structure that dominated the landscape.
Following behind Cat, Vivi heaved her no-name duffel over her shoulder and ambled down the gangway. She tugged at the bottom of her cutoff denim shorts while discreetly searching the crowded parking lot for David.
As a teen, Vivi had been prepared to wait forever for him. Of course, forever had proved too ambitious. Now, on the cusp of letting those dreams die, she’d see him again, here on a crowded dock.
“Hey, Cat!” David waved his arms above his head. “Over here!”
His eyes widened upon catching sight of Vivi, which made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. “Vivi? I didn’t know you were coming.” He then glanced at Cat with a confused expression. “Where’s Justin?”
“Don’t ask,” Cat barked. “Don’t say a word, in fact.”
David raised his hands in surrender before kissing Cat’s cheek. “Sorry.” Then he turned to Vivi and grinned, reaching for her hand.
Only thirty-one, not a single gray strand marred his beautiful head of hair. Dark stubble covered his jaw, framing his sumptuous mouth. Although no longer captain of any lacrosse team, he’d retained an athletic build—broad shouldered and narrow in the waist and hips—and stood a full foot taller than her five foot one.
“Vivi,” he murmured in her ear while curling her against his chest and kissing the top of her head. The contact of their standard hello hug filled her with longing, as always. “It’s so good to see you.”
When he squeezed her more tightly, her entire body resonated. Home. “Welcome back,” she said while easing away.
“Thanks.” David favored her with his shy smile.
“So, are you happy to be home, or missing Hong Kong?” she asked.
Following a pronounced pause, he replied, “I spend most waking hours at the office, so it doesn’t make much difference where I sleep.”
The image of him tumbled in bedsheets smacked her in the face, but she maintained her cool. His flip remark hadn’t fooled her. After more than a decade of friendship, how could he not remember she could see his soul?
“I doubt that’s true.” Noting a faint hitch in his breath, she wanly smiled.
Although curious to discover the reason behind his hesitancy, she knew he’d never disclose it in front of an audience. Patience, Vivi.
“Where’s Jackson?” Cat threw her luggage into the back of Jackson’s beat-up green Jeep Grand Cherokee.
“At the house with Hank.”
Vivi noticed Cat blanch, but David spoke again before Vivi could pry. “And Laney.”
“Laney . . . from Hong Kong?” Cat croaked before shooting Vivi a worried glance. Laney from Hong Kong? Although the words struck like a blow to the head, Vivi plastered a smile on her face. Thankfully, neither Cat nor David noticed her clenched teeth.
“Yes,” he replied.
Cat donned her giant black sunglasses before opening the passenger door. “She sure traveled a long way for a short vacation.”
“Actually, she moved to New York, too.” David’s quiet response rocked Vivi to her core. No, no, no, no. Oh, God, she couldn’t breathe.
Cat slid her glasses along the bridge of her nose and pinned David with an astonished stare. “Moved to New York, or moved in with you?”
“She’s presently living in temporary housing provided by our law firm.” He opened the door for Vivi, waving her into the backseat without quite meeting her eyes. His vague answer weakened her knees, making her grateful to finally be seated.
“Wow.” Cat paused, fumbling for words. “Looks like this week will be filled with surprises.”
Laney must be why Vivi hadn’t heard from David after his initial e-mail. Before she could wallow in her misery, the car’s engine roared to life and they set off toward the bluffs of Mohegan Trail.
Vivi needed to get over David, and she needed to do it now. It took her a minute to find her voice. “Who’s Hank?”
Once again, she noticed Cat bristle at his name.
“A finish carpenter who works for Jackson. He seems like a decent guy.” David glanced at Vivi in his rearview mirror. “You’ve never met him?”
“No. Jackson had been fairly tied up with Alison these past two years. Hank wasn’t with him on the few occasions I saw him.”
David’s brows lowered. “Don’t mention Alison unless you want to set Jackson off. Whatever happened between them must’ve been extremely unpleasant.” He glanced at Cat. “You know anything?”
She shook her head.
Vivi sat back, unsettled. While David and Cat chatted in the front seat, she contemplated her new reality. David had brought a woman halfway around the world to be with him. He had fallen in love, just not with Vivi.
Nausea returned and climbed up her throat. She swallowed her bile, hoping no one detected her disappointment.
Stifling a laugh, she considered the folly of envisioning a special reunion with David. Apparently, even at twenty-six, she’d still wanted to believe in fairy tales.
An hour ago she couldn’t wait to arrive, but now she was the island’s captive. Nowhere to run. Carrying out a charade seemed her only viable option. Too bad her open-book face diminished her chances of success.
She squeezed her eyes shut in a childlike attempt to disappear. When she opened them, she shifted her attention to the rolling green hills. They ascended the island road, whizzing past gray and brown cedar shingle houses, which were partly obscured by tall, dry grasses and overgrown shrubbery. Sadly, the abundant sunshine and long-range views—normally a welcome change from New York—failed to lift her spirits.
However, the breathtaking vista surrounding the St. James family’s house forced a grin. Perched atop the two-hundred-foot-high cliffs, it enjoyed 180-degree ocean views.
Vivi turned her back on the bluffs and looked at the three-story house, which was surrounded by mammoth blue hydrangea. The main living area was located on the middle level, with guest bedrooms on the ground level and a master suite on the top level.
She squinted in the sunlight at the picnic table parked on the flagstone patio at the side of the house. Fleeting images of Frisbee games, candlelight conversations, and body-surfing contests passed through her mind.
A light prickling sensation swept over her scalp and down her shoulders. Those trips had provided temporary escape from her unhappy life with her father. She’d had high hopes for this trip, too, but they’d all died at the harbor.
The sounds of the seagulls and ocean brought her back to the present. Vivi inhaled the briny sea air and waved off David’s assistance as she lugged her bag out of the backseat. Her momentum sent her stumbling backward into the cute blue convertible parked in the driveway.
“Whose Mini Cooper?” she asked.
“Laney’s.”
Cat scrunched her nose. Vivi thought it was a great car, especially compared to the rental car she and Cat had driven to the island.
At that moment, Jackson scrambled down the front steps and jogged toward them. He snatched both girls up into a bear hug. Although two inches shy of six feet tall, his solid frame towered over Vivi. In his arms, her toes lifted off the ground.
He’d always been the devil-may-care St. James sibling. She’d thought of him as a big brother forever. Fortunately, Cat didn’t mind sharing. Vivi squeezed him with all one hundred pounds of her might until he set her down.
“V, what a great surprise!” He ruffled her hair. “Now I know we’ll have some fun this week.”
“It’s great to be back here, and I can’t wait to meet Hank.”
Jackson’s gaze flitted between David and Vivi. He tilted his head and grinned. “Are you on the market?”
“Yep.” She didn’t dare look at David. “How about you?”
“No time for a commitment.” Jackson’s glib tone failed to conceal the ache that flickered across his cognac-colored eyes. “But a fling would be nice.”
“I’ll be sure to warn the natives.” Vivi winked. Jackson laughed, revealing his deep dimples. His presence provided a much-needed comfort from her distress over David and Laney.
“So, rocks or sand today?” she asked while they strolled toward the house, with David and Cat trailing along somewhere behind them.
Jackson rubbed his hands together and flashed another grin.
“Sand. Of course, if a big storm passes through, the beach could get rocky again.”
“Then let’s take advantage of the good conditions now.” She lightly brushed a Persian blue hydrangea bloom with her open palm. Her artist’s eye noted the blossom’s variegated shades of blue and purple—the colors of her bruised heart.
Once inside, she followed Cat downstairs while David and Jackson trotted up the half flight to the main living area. David’s temporary departure came as a relief. A new experience for her.
After hoisting her luggage onto one of the twin beds in Cat’s room, she tossed her clothes randomly across the pastel-pink coverlet. An indigo-colored tankini swimsuit, comprised of snug boy shorts and an underwire halter, landed on top of the pile. She grabbed it and changed her clothes.
She tugged the wheat-colored, windblown rat’s nest some might call hair through the back opening of her worn Yankees baseball cap, shoved her feet into orange drugstore flip-flops, and grabbed her yellow beach towel. The outfit was inelegant, but she loved wearing bright colors, especially when her mood needed a boost.
Grinning, she spun toward Cat. “All set.”
Only then did she notice Cat sitting on her bed, fully dressed and cross-legged, reading her phone with her brows tightly drawn together.
“Justin?” Vivi sighed aloud. Cat’s preoccupation with her roller-coaster romance seriously interfered with their friendship these days. Worse, the unstable relationship made Cat edgier and more impatient. One way or another, Vivi planned to uncover the reason behind all the melodrama during this trip.
“Go ahead.” Without looking up, Cat mumbled, “I’ll catch up in a bit.”
“Don’t sit around waiting for his calls. Being too available for a man never served me well.” Vivi snickered at herself. “One of us should learn from my mistakes.”
“Ha, ha.” Cat rolled her eyes and waved off her friend.
Fudge. Now she’d have to face David and Laney on her own. Of course, she’d had lots of practice confronting awkward occasions throughout her life. She’d survived them all, sometimes even with her dignity intact. Resiliency was the silver lining afforded by her many disappointments. Drawing a deep breath, she crossed the ground-floor hallway.
Voices descended from the kitchen. An unfamiliar velvety baritone rang out, which she presumed was Hank’s.
“So who’s Vivi?” he asked.
“David’s shadow.” Vivi actually heard the impish smile in Jackson’s intonation, even as her stomach knotted. His shadow? “Actually, she’s been Cat’s best friend since middle school. But she’s had a massive crush on David since we were all kids.”
Oh, God. David hadn’t been surprised by that horrid nickname. Had they often joked about her behind her back? She stood, frozen and breathless, on the fourth step.
Hank’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Is she hot?”
“How would we know? She’s like a sister to us,” Jackson said. “I guess she’s pretty cute, in an unconventional way. A little sprite. Blond, blue-eyed, big smile.”
David remained mute on the subject. A hot mixture of agony and self-disgust washed through Vivi while she acknowledged the time she’d wasted on a man who apparently only ever considered her a member of his family.
Of course, in the very beginning she’d understood their differences had been insurmountable. David had been eighteen, the captain of the lacrosse and debate teams, and perpetually besieged by perky, uninhibited cheerleaders. On the other hand, she’d been a thirteen-year-old stick figure with a camera hanging from her neck and fingers stained with brightly colored oil paints.
Regardless, she’d been undaunted. Wearing her heart on her sleeve, she’d been certain her love would eventually win him over. Now she had to face facts instead of cling to delusions. Refusing to hide in the stairwell like a mouse, she resumed her ascent, but then the men continued talking.
“What’s she like?” Hank asked.
Simultaneously, Jackson answered, “Quirky,” while David stated, “Exceptional.”
“Cute, quirky, and exceptional. Well, if you’re not interested, David, can I have her?” Hank teased.
His shadow. Seized by the need to wrest control of her situation, she charged up the last few steps, two at a time, and abruptly entered their conversation.
“I think that’s a question better directed to me. After all, David’s not my pimp.” She smiled cheerily, as if this were a normal discussion, and prayed her flushed cheeks wouldn’t betray her.
All three men stared. Reddening necks broadcast their embarrassment at having been caught gossiping. Jackson covered his laughter by coughing.
She stole a glimpse of David, who stood in silence, staring at her with his typical intensity mingled with something she couldn’t quite identify.
His stiff demeanor proved he still suppressed his deep well of emotion, which made her insides melt. Her heart thudded in response to his quiet, powerful energy. Look away.
In order to convince everyone she’d finally outgrown her crush on David, she began flirting with Hank.
“Hi. You must be Hank. I’m Vivienne, but my friends call me Vivi.” She shook Hank’s hand and flashed a coquettish smile. “So, to answer your earlier question, I’d say you have an uphill battle since I’ve typically preferred brunettes.” She winked at Jackson and then resumed smiling at Hank. “Of course, I dated Alex in college—a hot blond, like you—so you never know.”
On that note, all three men’s jaws dropped. Wrapping her makeshift ponytail around her hand and then setting it free, she laughed and crossed to the refrigerator to find a soda. She hid behind the open door, letting the chilled air cool the heat in her cheeks. Having gained a toehold on her pride, she shut the door and turned to face them.
“Cat’s texting Justin, so she could be a while. Is anyone heading to the beach yet, or am I on my own?” She popped the tab of the Diet Pepsi can and took a swig. Her nose wrinkled at the tickle from the released carbonation.
“I’m ready,” Jackson said. For the first time, Vivi noticed how shaggy he’d let his wavy hair become.
“Me too.” Hank wiggled his brows, causing her to laugh.
His tanned, square jaw and celadon eyes made him look like the quintessential lifeguard. An old, soft T-shirt hugged his muscular chest and emphasized his swimmer’s build. Most women would go crazy for this guy, but Vivi’s knees weren’t weakening. Nope. Despite his good looks and evident testosterone, Hank barely registered a blip on her radar. Clearly she’d procrastinated visiting a shrink for far too long.
At least the tension had eased. She tipped her chin and raised her brows at David, silently questioning whether he’d be joining them.
“Laney’s changing upstairs.” He studied her as if to gauge her reaction to the idea of meeting Laney. “We’ll be down later.”
“Super. Looking forward to meeting her.” Vivi smiled sweetly, lying through her teeth. Threading her arm through Jackson’s, she thrust her can of soda toward the back door. “Let’s go!”
Hank picked up the cooler and followed them outside.
They crossed the yard and came to the first of the 163 rickety steps leading from the top of the cliff to the beachfront below. Vivi paused to survey the sandy beach, which stretched along the base of the cliffs several hundred yards to her left. The few homes scattered across the top of the bluff shared this spectacular view.
She fixed her attention on the sun-bleached staircase, which twisted its way down the face of the bluff. The worn wooden structure resembled the framework of old-fashioned roller coasters, and equally terrified her, too. Concentrating on avoiding splinters, she firmly gripped the railing and followed Jackson and Hank down to the beach.
While helping the guys set up umbrellas and beach chairs, she managed to conjure up distinct images of David in the kitchen. His high cheekbones, thinly sculpted nose, and square jaw made him striking beyond compare—just masculine enough to avoid being labeled a “pretty boy.”
Countless daydreams had peppered so many days since they’d first met. His analytical nature and calm demeanor had been a fixed point around which she’d bobbed and whirled while battling her chaotic life and emotions throughout the years. She’d entrusted him with her secrets and fears. In every circumstance, he’d made her feel understood—known and accepted.
She’d thought they’d shared an unbreakable bond. But whatever did or didn’t exist had ended when he went to Hong Kong. Laney’s move proved, once and for all, David would never belong to Vivi.
Blinking back tears, she resented the inability to mourn the loss of her dream. Here she’d be forced to bury her disappointment under false laughter while interacting with him and his lover. No ice cream overload, no chick flicks, no tissues. Could there be a worse nightmare?
Paging Tim Burton.
The burn of the sun’s scorching glare was nothing compared to the shattering pain inside. Watching the waves collide against the rocky outcroppings in the sea, she conceded the scenery in her personal hell was magnificent.