CHAPTER ELEVEN
Present Day
David rolled down the window, seeking fresh air for his tightened lungs. Soham, Soham, he mentally repeated, although meditating in the crowded car proved to be an exercise in futility.
His sister strategically positioned herself between Vivi and him like a human shield. Then again, maybe Vivi needed protection from his erratic behavior. He already regretted saddling her with his secrets, but he couldn’t deny the small measure of relief he’d experienced from their shared confidence. During those moments on the bench, everything between them felt right again—better than right.
God, he might have even kissed her if Cat hadn’t interrupted. Of course, Cat and Laney’s presence provided icy reminders of why he could never act on his burgeoning feelings. Feelings he shouldn’t trust in view of his screwed-up state of mind.
Glumly, he stared out his open window while the weight of Laney’s presence pressed upon more than just his lap.
Jackson parked near the hub of activity at Fred Benson’s. The humidity clung to David’s skin when he stepped out of the car. He eyed the gray clouds gathering on the horizon with suspicion.
Laney tucked her hair under another oversized sun hat and then tossed David her beach bag. As always, she looked like a million bucks, wearing rhinestone flip-flops, an emerald-green cover-up, and a string bikini. It occurred to him that anyone who ended up with her would be spending a million bucks to keep her looking this way for the rest of her life.
He glanced back at his sister and Vivi. Cat’s gigantic black sunglasses obscured much of her face. She chatted with Vivi, who looked distracted, which made sense given everything he’d just told her. A beach towel hung artlessly over her shoulders. Her shabby baseball cap shaded her face.
She’d never put much emphasis on her appearance. Unlike his sister and Laney, people sought her company because of her cheerful demeanor, not her looks. Still, she habitually managed to be adorable despite her lack of fashion sense.
The group strolled through the open pavilion and crossed its deck to get to the beach, passing by the band assembled near the steps. A wide array of rainbow-colored beach umbrellas littered the shore. Young children tore through the sand. Greasy aromas emanated from Rebecca’s takeout concession area, completing the typical public beach experience.
Jackson’s eyes scanned the horde, ostensibly to scope available women. His brother’s juvenile behavior and heavy drinking this week raised red flags, but David reserved comment.
Jackson buried two umbrella poles deep into the sand. Laney settled herself in the shade of one of the generous orange canopies. David set her beach bag beside her. To his left, he noticed Vivi stripping off her shorts and T-shirt, revealing a barely there, tie-dyed string bikini. Suppressing the reckless urge to touch her, he sat beside Laney and closed his eyes.
Within fifteen minutes, the rest of the gang wandered off to join a volleyball game with a group of strangers. David remained with Laney, watching the others laugh and slap high-fives whenever someone got off a lucky shot. Vivi appeared to be holding up under pressure, which surprised him. After his confession, he’d half expected her to hover, make suggestions, offer solace. If he were being honest, he’d admit he craved her attention now. Contrary to his wishes, she seemed to be avoiding him even more than ever.
Maybe she needed distance to keep this secret. Or maybe she simply didn’t care much about his feelings anymore. He rubbed his hands over his face to alleviate the sensation of staring into a fun house mirror. When he opened his eyes and looked back at the ongoing game, he realized they were all having fun, while he was not.
Suddenly, despite having no love for volleyball, he wanted to play. Leaning forward in his beach chair, he tapped Laney’s arm. “Let’s join the group.”
She scrunched her nose. “It’s so hot. Besides, I’m not athletic.” Her eyes darted from his family back to him. “You go. I’m fine hiding under this umbrella.”
The teams were evenly matched, so he couldn’t include himself without creating an unfair advantage. Sitting back, he frowned and snatched a drink from the cooler.
While dragging a long pull from the bottle, he eyed Laney, wondering when exactly they’d fallen so out of sync. Looking back, he realized they hadn’t spent much time going to movies, talking about books, or visiting museums. They’d discussed mergers and acquisitions, the law, and the business of the law. They’d done that and had sex. Pretty good sex, actually. But he knew little about her family or her past, her passions or hopes.
The realization that he didn’t care to know more made him remorseful as hell. He needed to end things between them now that he suspected she wasn’t being honest with him about her needs. Breaking up while maintaining an affable relationship at the office would require serious skill and planning. Definitely not something to undertake here in front of his family. He closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose before returning his attention to the beach.
When the volleyball match ended, the foursome wandered into the mild, rolling waves. Vivi screeched when the frigid north Atlantic sloshed against her legs. Rather than run out of the ocean, she dove headlong into a small wave. She popped out of the water, howling and shivering while wiping the water from her face.
David smiled. She’d always been an all-or-nothing girl. He should have guessed she would treat him likewise. For years she’d given him her all, and now she had nothing left.
His smile dissolved on that thought.
Hiding behind sunglasses, he watched Vivi riding Hank’s shoulders while engaged in an intense game of chicken with Jackson and Cat.
The scene reminded him of playing the same game in the heated pool at his childhood home on warm summer evenings, surrounded by fireflies. His mom had served piononos or other delicious sweets they’d enjoyed. His team won most often due to his height advantage, meaning Jackson and Cat would be going under first. Yep, there they went, right into the deep blue sea.
Vivi fist-pumped the air above her head while laughing, then bent down to kiss the top of Hank’s head and pat his shoulders. David’s breath hitched and his fingers tightened around his bottle. He cast a chagrined glance toward Laney before loosening his grip and rolling his shoulders backward. Jackson and Cat regrouped for another round.
Seeing Vivi’s thighs locked around Hank’s head again made David’s entire body tighten. He noticed her bite her lower lip, calling his attention to her fuller upper lip, which always looked a little bee-stung. Kissable.
Her wild hair clung to her shoulders, dripping water down her glistening skin. She looked like a tiny mermaid come to life—a living, breathing fantasy. He prepared to bolt from his chair and take Hank’s place in the game, when he noticed a dark-haired man arrive and kneel in the sand, taking photos of Cat and Vivi. David sat forward, ready to go toss the camera in the water, then Vivi waved at the guy.
Franco.
Franco now had pictures of her in a tiny bikini. When David imagined what Franco might do with the sexy images, the vein in his neck began throbbing. He couldn’t see Franco’s face, but Vivi’s beamed as she waded through the water to greet her new crush.
Watching her look at another man the way she used to look at him stole his breath away.
Then outrage replaced the hollow feeling in his chest. How could she so quickly brush aside everything he’d just told her and run off with this guy? He’d done as she asked—spilled his guts—and she still ignored him. For this guy. This guy, who was much too old for her, by the way.
David’s fingertips pressed against the arms of his beach chair as he steeled himself for the forthcoming introduction.
“David, Laney, this is Franco.” Vivi gathered her things, appearing eager to leave. “We’re heading to rehearsal.”
“Nice to meet you.” David nodded politely while Laney said hello.
“You too.” Franco smiled while keeping his eyes on Vivi.
The throbbing in David’s neck shot to his temple.
He instantly disliked everything about Franco. And no, he didn’t need more time to make his assessment. With the exception of misjudging his father, sizing up the integrity of others had always been his strength.
He knew men like Franco wielded their looks and easy charm to cast a wide net. That kind of guy only wanted to catch a few women long enough to satisfy his desires. Then he’d cut the women loose. Why didn’t Vivi see how wrong he was for her?
“Okay, I’m all set.” Vivi turned toward David. “See you all later.”
“Bye,” said Laney. “Oh, what about the dress code for the party?”
Franco donned another fucking cheesy smile. “I’m sure you’ll look beautiful in whatever you choose to wear.”
Laney flushed in response to Franco’s bullshit flattery. David squeezed his eyes shut. How could Laney, a woman who was used to male attention, not spot a lothario? David knew Franco didn’t have a sincere bone in his body, and he’d damn well make sure Vivi knew it before the week was through.
He opened his eyes in time to see Franco’s hand slide down to the delicate curve of Vivi’s back. Heaviness caved in on David’s heart, but his gaze remained glued to Franco’s hand. Then he shut his eyes again before panic completely swamped him.
He’d never before harbored romantic feelings for Vivi, if that’s even what he was feeling. God, he’d gotten so turned around since his mother’s death, he didn’t know up from down, right from wrong. He needed to put a stop to these amorous sensations.
No doubt Jackson would be horrified by his newfound infatuation for their “sister.” David could only imagine Cat’s unfavorable reaction. Yet his stomach burned at the idea of Vivi with Franco.
Would she be with him if David hadn’t brought Laney, if he hadn’t distanced himself for the past year? Did it matter, since he couldn’t even trust, let alone act upon, these strange new sentiments?
His eyes snapped open when Cat arrived and collapsed onto her towel, hiding in the shade of the umbrella.
“Cat, you guys undersold Franco’s appeal,” Laney said. “His accent—wow. He’s handsome, too.” She pointedly turned to David. “Good for Vivi.”
“Yes.” Cat’s amused grin caught David’s attention. “He seems interested in her.”
Interested in adding Vivi as a notch on his belt, thought David. He’d left the country and, while he was away, everyone had gone mad.
Wedged between the two swooning women, he battled the sour feelings swarming in his gut. To escape the madness, he strode several yards away to where Hank and Jackson stood talking.
“Getting bored from sitting around and waiting on your lady?” Jackson teased when David approached.
“Asks the guy who’s here without a lady of his own,” David retorted.
“Touché, brother.” Jackson’s lighthearted smile elicited a slow grin from David.
“Why didn’t Cat go with Vivi and Franco?” Hank asked.
“She didn’t say.” David shrugged. “Maybe she’s planning on calling Justin. What’s the deal there, Jackson?”
“Not sure.” Jackson brushed sand off his thigh. “She never shares details.”
No surprises there. None of the St. Jameses easily shared their private thoughts with others.
“Should we be concerned?” David pressed. “Why does she put up with that jerk?”
Hank tugged his earlobe, appearing to study David. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught Hank observing him.
“Ask Vivi,” Jackson suggested. “She’s more likely to get at the truth than you or me.”
“She wouldn’t break Cat’s confidence. Anyway, she’s off with Franco.” David raked his hand through his hair. “Do you think she’s safe with him?”
“She’s twenty-six and having a vacation fling.” Jackson sighed. “She’s fine.”
Unconvinced, David rubbed his jaw and tried not to consider what Vivi’s “vacation fling” might entail. His stomach clenched as the memory of Franco’s hand on her back resurfaced. Once again, he noticed Hank’s intense scrutiny. Instead of treating him as a rival, perhaps David should make him an ally in a campaign against Franco.
“Do you agree, Hank?” David asked.
“Pretty much.” Hank cocked one brow. “I doubt he’ll do anything to hurt her.”
“Maybe not intentionally.” David wasn’t persuaded by their relaxed acceptance. Obviously neither of them saw the truth about the smarmy photographer.
Pressing the matter would just rouse their suspicions of his motive, so he dropped the discussion. He was on his own in any campaign to stop Franco’s advances.
Three young women interrupted their conversation, jutting their hips and breasts out, playing with their hair, and giggling. When Jackson engaged in the flirtation, David excused himself and returned to his chair, but Laney was nowhere to be found.
He sat beside his sister, who quickly hid her phone back in her bag. Justin again? “Where’s Laney?”
“The ladies’ room,” she mumbled.
“Oh.” He watched his sister mindlessly brush sand from her towel, showing no signs of concern for Vivi. “Why didn’t you take off with Vivi and Franco?”
“I’d rather stay here on the beach with all of you today.” Cat reapplied sunscreen to her face and shoulders.
“What if Franco takes advantage of her?”
“Ha!” Cat laughed in his face and rolled over on her stomach. “Not likely.”
“What’s that mean?”
She propped herself up on her elbows and studied him.
“Vivi is the last girl in the world to find herself being used by any man.”
“You sound certain.” David leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What if you’re wrong?”
“Well, I almost hope I am. Lord knows she wasted enough time saving herself for you all through high school. I thought she’d never have sex.”
David sat stunned. Learning of Vivi’s attempt to save her virginity for him awakened a primal sense of satisfaction. The temperature on the beach instantly jumped fifteen degrees. He buried his thoughts before his arousal became apparent to his sister and everyone else.
Cat smirked as if remembering something Vivi might have said, and then continued, “Thank God she met Alex during college, who finally convinced her of the benefits of having a real, live boyfriend instead of an imaginary one. Still, she takes things really slowly.”
“Too much info.” He reclined in his chair and summoned a memory of Vivi and him stretched out on his parents’ back lawn, stargazing and talking about her impending graduation. They’d lain side by side while laughing and reminiscing. At the time, he hadn’t felt anything remotely sexual. It had simply been . . . natural.
Now everything was changing. At least she wouldn’t become a notch on Franco’s belt—not today, anyway. Not ever, if he had anything to say about it. His headache subsided and the muscles in his shoulders softened.
“Perhaps. But you, of all people, better let her move on. Especially with Laney here.” Cat sat up. “It’s taken Vivi a long time to get over you. Thank God it’s finally happened. Can you imagine how awkward it would have been for all of us if you two had ever dated? Or worse, dated and broken up. It could’ve ruined everything.”
David’s soul absorbed the blow of his sister’s obvious relief, and of the confirmation she wouldn’t support them as a couple. He kept his expression blank as she continued voicing her thoughts.
“Ironically, if I’d known Laney was coming, I wouldn’t have brought Vivi. Of course, how could I have known, since you never mentioned she was in town, much less moved here?”
Ignoring her accusatory tone, he laughed to himself at his sister’s double standard. She shared no more about her private life than he did. Nonetheless, he didn’t wish to argue with her.
“Laney moved here because of her career. Trust me, if I had any big announcements in the works, you’d know.” He kept his eyes on Cat. “I don’t mean to shut you out. I’ve missed you. I take all the blame for this distance between us, but I want us to be close again, Cat.”
She tilted her head and met his eyes. “Are you happy?”
Had they been at a private lunch, or on a walk, perhaps he’d be a little more candid. However, Laney would be back soon, and Jackson and Hank might reappear at any time. This wasn’t the time or place for sharing, so he evaded her question. “Are you?”
Cat shuttered her eyes and shrugged, then resumed a prone position on her towel.
“If I asked you about Justin, would you tell me anything worthwhile?” David pressed. “I’ve been watching you pretend to have everything under control these past days, but I can tell you’re upset.”
“You don’t like him. I can tell.” She turned her head to face him. “I doubt you can be objective.”
“I probably can’t be objective when it comes to you, that’s true. I wish you’d let me in.” He reached over and tugged her hair. “At least promise you’d come to me if you needed something?”
“Relax.” She swatted his hand. “You always worry too much.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, David, I’d come to you.” Rolling her eyes, she grinned. “Satisfied?”
“For now.” He smiled as she huffed and closed her eyes.
When Laney reappeared, she leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. He opened his eyes to find her green ones staring into his. She fingered his hair and let her thumb run along his jaw before taking her seat and picking up her book.
Her small gestures deluged him with contrition. He’d spent the past few days finding fault with her because of a knot of emotions involving Vivi. Both women deserved better.
Cat was right. He shouldn’t interfere with Vivi’s budding relationship when he couldn’t offer anything in return. Surely this novel desire would fade—as soon as they spent more time together like always. Everything would go back to normal after a few months of daily life in the city.
And Laney deserved someone who could give her what she needed, which apparently was a lot more than he’d imagined.
When they returned to Manhattan, he’d find a way to let her down easily. Drawing in a deep breath, he gazed at the darkening clouds and willed himself to take control of his life without continuing to hurt the people who cared for him.
By late afternoon, the angry sky showered heavy sheets of rain onto the roof, and the torrential downpour resonated throughout the house. David welcomed the storm, which provided a perfect excuse to slow down and relax. As he listened to the dull roar overhead, he wished he were lying in bed with a good book. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d enjoyed a lazy afternoon alone.
Then again, preparing dinner with Jackson had been a pleasant way to unwind. His brother whistled while cutting the garlic cloves and inserting those shards into the filet roast. David chopped onions, mushrooms, and parsley. He’d always found the rhythmic activity to be meditative. Afterward, he sautéed them with white wine and butter. The aroma of fresh herbs and garlic whetted his appetite.
Despite a tumult of emotion concerning Vivi, he’d salvaged a peaceful afternoon with his family, the first solid step toward repairing the damage created by his long absence. A long-forgotten feeling of hope sprouted in his chest.
He glanced around while he cleaned. Laney worked on her laptop in the living room, while Hank rested below. Cat was setting the table.
“I thought Vivi would be home by now. She must be eating dinner with Franco.” Cat frowned. “I didn’t consider how disruptive this gig would be when I suggested it.”
“Text her,” Jackson suggested.
“If she’s rehearsing, she won’t hear it.” Cat placed the last of the silverware and then came to the counter. “Oh, well.”
“Cheer up, sis.” Jackson tweaked her nose. “You’ve got us.”
“Yippee,” Cat dryly replied, but the corners of her lips curled into a grin.
David’s lungs tightened as he considered how much his mother would’ve enjoyed this occasion with her kids. He rubbed his hand over the tight spot in his chest and turned away from Jackson and Cat until his nose stopped tingling.
Minutes later, the front door opened just as a crack of thunder split the sky.
“Hi, guys, I’m back . . . and drenched.” Vivi’s chattering teeth punctuated her speech. “I’ll be up to help once I dry off.” The echo of her footsteps drifted up the stairwell.
David’s mood instantly brightened, although he repressed a grin. She didn’t stay with Franco.
After dinner and dessert, Vivi collected the dishes. “You all leave these. I’ll clean up.”
“Thanks, Viv.” Jackson pushed back from the table.
Cat, Hank, and Laney followed Jackson to the living room. David gathered the glasses and trailed behind Vivi into the kitchen.
“I know we can’t talk now, but I want to make sure you’re okay. I feel like I should apologize for dumping everything on you this morning.”
“I should apologize for putting you in an impossible situation.” She cast a quick glance over her shoulder, toward the group in the living room. “Let’s change the subject before we get caught.”
“Good idea.” He smiled as she opened the dishwasher door. “Seems like old times, us doing dishes.”
“So it does.” She grinned. “Even if I hadn’t offered them an out tonight, I’m pretty sure Cat and Jackson would’ve found another excuse to duck out of kitchen duty, like when we were kids.”
“Something you never shirked.” David took the glasses from her after she rinsed them.
“Well, I had an ulterior motive.” He watched the corners of her eyes crinkle with her smile. The water ran nonstop as she rinsed each plate and handed it to him to load in the dishwasher.
“Oh?” he asked, assuming she was referring to her former crush on him.
“Of course.” Vivi stared out the window with a distant look in her eyes. “I had to stay in your mom’s good graces so I’d always be welcomed back.”
“And so you were,” David said softly, remembering how much his mother had loved Vivi. How troubling to learn only now that for years Vivi had felt so insecure about her position within their family. “And here I’d always thought you’d volunteered to help because my company was so interesting.”
Vivi’s grin widened and she bumped his hip with her own.
“That, too, David.” She plunged her hands into the soapy tub of water and began scrubbing the sauté pan. “So, I found several new pieces of sea glass in my luggage tonight when I changed out of my wet clothes. Any idea how those got there?”
“That was quick. I figured you wouldn’t find those until the end of the week. That was the messiest duffel bag I’ve ever seen.” He grinned. “I assume you still have that big jar of sea glass in your apartment, so when I saw a few pieces today on the beach, I stuck them in my pocket. A small token of appreciation for your discretion and friendship.”
“Thank you,” she said. “They’ll make a nice addition to the collection. Obviously I haven’t been doing much beachcombing because of the rehearsals.”
“How’d it go today?” he asked, wanting to keep the positive momentum rolling. “You were gone a long time.”
“We covered a lot of ground.” She handed him the heavy pan to dry. “We’ll do one final run-through tomorrow morning, and then whatever happens, happens.”
David brushed a stray dollop of soapsuds from her arm, and then dried the pot while she wiped down the counters. When he finished, he asked, “Why didn’t you ever mention your singing to me?”
She leaned against the counter and looked at her hands, laced together in front of her hips. He hung the dish towel to dry, keeping his eyes averted to give her time to speak. A cloud of tension and sorrow surrounded Vivi.
“I had my first voice lesson three days before we all learned about your mom’s breast cancer. Her illness made my new hobby seem too frivolous to discuss. And then you left within days of the funeral . . .” She paused, leaving her accusation unspoken.
“I’m sorry, Vivi,” he said softly. “I’m sorry for shutting you out for so long. I’m sorry for not offering any solace while we were both grieving my mother. And I’m sorry I took our friendship for granted.”
“I know you are,” she whispered while averting her eyes. He breathed a sigh of relief when he sensed his apologies finally pierced the invisible wall that had been separating them all week. Suddenly she waved her hand airily and grinned a little too brightly. “But now you’re back, and tomorrow you’ll be forced to hear my singing with your own ears. Please tell me you travel with earplugs.”
“I doubt we’ll need them. Jackson says you sing well.”
“What does he know?” She smirked and, as always, shifted the focus off herself. “Anyway, should we get a game of charades going?”
“Maybe Cranium,” David suggested, heartened by the familiar rhythm of their conversation.
“No way. Everyone but me is smart, so I’d only be a drag to my teammate.”
“You know I hate when you say things like that, Vivi.” David placed his hand on the back of her neck. “How many times have I told you? You’re smart in every way that counts, regardless of your stupid grade-point average.”
“Many,” she conceded. “And stupid aptly describes my grade-point average.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” He threw his arm over her shoulder and rubbed his knuckles against her skull. Unlike the many times he’d done this before, tonight touching her ignited an irresistible urge to hold on, to take more. To take everything.
Slightly shaken, he forced himself to release her. “Don’t wish to be different. If you ever changed, it would break my heart.”
A faint blush tinged her cheeks.
“Thanks, David.” She then tapped her finger against her lips. “So then, how about Pictionary?”
“Ah, now you’re playing to your own advantage.” He yanked his gaze from her damned soft lips. She was standing so close he could smell her vanilla-scented body lotion. He fought the impulse to close his eyes and inhale. “See how smart you are?”
She produced an exaggerated “aha” face.
“Who ever said miracles never happen?” She turned on her heel as she called out to the group, “Pictionary, anyone?”
Before she left, he grabbed her arm and whispered, “Meet me out front at midnight.”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“Just dress warm and don’t tell anyone. It’ll be an adventure.”
He released her and she left him in the kitchen, glancing back over her shoulder with a puzzled expression. When he finally followed her, he noticed Laney observing them with a troubled expression. Shit.