***Maci***

 

“How is he?” Xerox asks carefully while he takes the bag I just gave him.

How is he? My brother. My baby brother who I didn’t see slip into the water…who I didn’t attempt to save. Who I didn’t even…dammit, all I could think about was revenge. Kill that Enzo fucker. Mike shot him but I saw he was still very much alive, because he only got hit in the shoulder. I had to kill him before he’d snap Marcus’s neck or something. Shit…while in the end… How. Is. He?

I swallow before I can manage words. “There are all kinds of bedside monitors surrounding Marcus. His breathing is supported by a ventilator. He has a catheter, they had some debate about intracranial pressure monitoring, depending if he sustained a brain injury before he hit the water. How is he? I have no fucking clue.” The last part might be a sob because I can’t even manage to keep myself together at this point.

His naked body surrounds me. “You didn’t see him go under. I did. He’s my family as well as yours. We each played our part, stop beating yourself up. He’s here. In the hospital. Getting the help he needs. There’s nothing more to do than wait, Maci.”

I sag against his cold body. “You need to get dressed.”

His soft chuckle is a soft caress. “I can’t tempt you to share your body warmth with me, huh?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Get dressed, X. The guys are all waiting in the hallway, and are making the nurses really edgy.”

Grabbing a plastic bag, I stuff Xerox’s wet clothes in it before I tuck them in the bag one of the prospects brought over to the hospital. Xerox refused to leave or get treatment. He wanted to know how my brother was. See for himself that Marcus got the help he needed. That’s why he’s now naked, stripped from the wet clothes before changing into a fresh dry set.

EMTs at the scene finally got Marcus’ heart going, but everything after that moment is practically a haze. It’s soul wrenching to see him like this. In the hospital, depending on machines to keep him alive.

“He’s gonna pull through,” Xerox mumbles into my ear as he pulls me close, this time he’s fully dressed.

“I hope so.” Tears fall down my cheeks. “God, I fucking hope so.”

He holds me tighter. “He will, he’s strong, you’ll see.” Xerox gives me a kiss on the top of my head before he bends down and grabs the bag.

Swinging it over his shoulder, he laces his fingers with mine. “Come on, let’s go see him.”

I wasn’t lying when I said the guys were all waiting in the hallway. Every single biker in the MC is here. Even the prospects. Support, family, that’s what it’s all about. No matter how many times they were told it wasn’t allowed for them to be in the hallway, they stayed, making sure they didn’t interfere with any of the medical personnel. It’s exactly what Xerox said to me a moment ago. We will be there for each other when or where we need to be, each of us filling our role.

Mike comes rushing out of the room, yelling for a nurse before he locks eyes with me. “He’s awake. He’s trying to pull his tube out, looks like he’s fucking choking.”

People rush inside my little brother’s room and take over. All of us have to wait outside. I’m biting my nails when a doctor finally comes out and lets us know it’s okay for us to go in and see him. Although it’s only for a few minutes, but that’s all my mind needs.

“Hey,” I croak, the second I see him.

Marcus closes his eyes for a moment before his lips twitch. He can’t manage a smile, but I know he’s trying. Doesn’t matter, he’s awake and breathing on his own, and he damn well knows it’s me that’s standing here. He’s alive so I’m thankful.

“You gave us a fucking scare, bro,” Mike rumbles, making me smack his chest. Not only for the cursing but also for the rumbling.

“Be nice,” I warn.

Morgan and Max close in on the other side of his bed, one grabbing his ankle, the other his shoulder.

“Did…” Marcus rasps out his words.

Grabbing the water from his bedside table, I bring the straw to his lips. After taking a few sips he rears his head back. My cue to place the cup back.

He tries again. “Did you get…get…”

“Yeah, the fucker is dead,” Mike growls. “All of them, it’s over.”

Marcus shakes his head.

“What? Did we miss a fucker?” Mike looks over my shoulder.

I feel Xerox’s fingers on my hip.

I’m guessing Xerox shakes his head because I hear Mike state, “Didn’t think so either.”

“My…my stuff. Did you get it?” Marcus croaks.

Xerox snorts. “No worries, man. I got ya. You get all healed up and come to my office when you’re strong enough. All the supplies you need are right there. No one is allowed in there anymore. Well, just me, if you’re okay with my company. Then I’d be happy to share my space with you, but we each take our own corner, yeah?”

“Paint on…floor?” Marcus rasps.

Xerox steps closer, making me lean a bit forward with him. “Floor, ceiling, walls, whatever you need, bud. Whatever you want.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Marcus smile like that.

A nurse strolls in and starts to check the machines around him. “Okay, people. Let’s give the patient some rest.”

“I’ll be back later, okay?” I give him a quick hug and whisper, “I love you.”

His simple reply is, “Me too, only more.”

Damn boy, even now he doesn’t say it with the words but finds a way around it.

Mike, Max, and Morgan say their goodbyes. Xerox inches closer and murmurs something to him. Marcus’ whole face lights up again. I’m dying to know what he said and yet I have to let it go, because it’s clear this is something between them.

It warms my heart to see my baby brother’s smiling face. It’s amazing how life can change in the blink of an eye. It’s a freaking gift to realize I owe most of the light in my life to Xerox. I have no clue what the future will bring. Yet I hold no fear, because with the right man beside you, a family behind you, there is nothing in life that can hold you back.

I intend to live fully, openly, and with no restrains. And I will make damn sure the same goes for my brothers.

 

 

***Three Weeks Later***

 

My knuckles should be raw by now. Again, I knock on the door. Yet again, I’m treated with silence. Xerox has claimed his office as a no-go zone for everybody. Well…everybody except for him and Marcus. It’s a shared workspace now. Xerox installed a new lock that opens the door with a card, like a hotel room.

I’m not complaining. Much. I mean, my little brother is back on his feet and seems more open these days. It’s like he can let go inside this room and has someone to share his thoughts with. It’s a huge difference compared to a few weeks ago.

Xerox does talk to me about what they’ve been doing. Not all of it, more in the lines of a project they’ve finished or started working on. Or if they bought new supplies. It’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but today I’ve been spending a few hours in the kitchen making my famous chili and Mexican brownies, among other things.

I’ve managed to put some aside because the whole clubhouse was filled with hungry bikers that wouldn’t stop telling me ‘Oh, that smells amazing, can I have some?’. Oh, yeah, there’s not much left now.

But it’s useless. These guys aren’t opening the door and haven’t eaten for hours. They’ve got a fridge in there so I know they have chilled water, soda, and so on…but, shit…they need to eat, right? Oh, and I’m not gonna mention that I made it special for Xerox, because he practically claimed the whole pot of chili I made the last time.

Yes. I confess. I might have made it this time to drag them out of that room. I thought the smell would do the trick, but apparently I was wrong.

“Then staaaaaarve.” Yes. I just screamed that.

Dramatic much? Nope, I just love Beauty and the Beast. You know the part where Belle doesn’t wanna eat with the beast? Oh, yeah, see if I care, stay in your room then. Stalking back into the kitchen, I grab the stash I had tucked away for Xerox and Marcus and place it on the table. Quill eyes it, and seriously, is that drool dripping down his chin?

“Is that what I think it is, Captain? You said it was all gone.” Quill doesn’t look at me, his gaze is stuck on the food like he could jump forward at any moment and snatch it away from me.

No need, because I slide it in front of him. “All yours, Quill. Enjoy.” I pat him on the shoulder and head toward the exercise room.

Yes. I’m in my gym clothes. I didn’t expect Xerox or Marcus to open the door, because like I mentioned…I was hoping the smell of their favorite food would draw them out. I’m just basically feeling sorry for myself, neglected and all…again, dramatic much? Nope, I got this, I only need to blow some steam. Full workout, coming up.

I put my earbuds in and crank up some music. For a moment, I just breathe and close my eyes. Center myself, enjoying the moment of utter peace. Before I kick the shit out of this bag, and my body.

Sweat is pouring off me when my gloved fist hits the bag for the zillionth time. My muscles are screaming at me and yet I’m not ready to stop. In this zone there is no time, no feeling, no worries. It’s the clearing of my head. It’s what I imagine Xerox and Marcus have when they are doing their thing. It brings them satisfaction. The things I do, and what they do…they aren’t the same, and yet I can relate.

Internally I smile when I brace myself on my knees. I’ve stopped without realizing it. See? It’s a mental thing, getting my ducks in a row because life scrambles them inside my head. Suddenly I’m wrapped in loving arms I would recognize even when I’m asleep.

Xerox’s lips are right next to my ear. “There you are. You having fun?”

I should say ‘let me go’, both for me being sweaty and to piss him off for ditching me and my food. But I simply can’t. Spinning around, I place my forearms on his shoulders, hating the gloves on my hands, because I want to slide my palms along his scruff.

“You came looking for me?” I croon.

Yes. Croon. But my sexy, lustful thoughts evaporate when my nipple is being pinched. His hand falls away from between our bodies when I step back. I want to rub my boob, but I have to bring my glove to my face to rip it off with my teeth. When I throw it on the floor, the second one follows suit.

“What was that for?” I growl as I place my palms on my hips.

The corner of his mouth twitches, like he’s trying to hide his smile. “I found Quill licking the pot. You gave away food that was meant for me, made special for me.”

I shrug and wave a hand in front of me. “Yeah, well…it was getting cold, would’ve been a shame to let it go to waste.”

Oooops. The tick in his jaw is telling me I just poked a bear.

“Turn around,” he growls. “Hands on the bench press.”

I rear my head back. “What? Why?”

He has a smug smile on his face. “I can lip-read, gorgeous. That tight cunt in spandex is talking to me. Would be a shame to let a perfect discussion with my dick go to waste,” is the only reply I get. One that has me bending over, bracing my hands on the bench while he rips off my pants and fills me up in one stroke.