A Hundred Dirty Things with a Sex Toy

The St. Louis game is looking to be a rout, and not in our favor. The Blues are clobbering us, and it’s only the second period.

We’re down 6-1 by the start of the third. And frankly, it’s an embarrassment.

I get burned for the second time tonight in the final period when one of their star players takes off with my errant pass.

And just like that it’s 7-1.

Fuck.

My head’s just not in the game. How could it be? This crap with Chloe has me worried about far bigger things than hockey.

It feels as if a danger is closing in, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, especially not from this far away.

Frustrated, I suddenly high-stick an opponent. It’s an accident, but I, unfortunately, draw blood.

I’m called for a double minor, which means four minutes in the box. That’s pretty much what’s left of the game, so I won’t see any more ice time. Not that it matters, since we’re losing big-time.

After the game, I’m throwing shit around in my stall in the visiting team locker room like a mofo. It doesn’t matter; all of us players are doing the same. Coach Townsend doesn’t even bother yelling at us. He just shakes his head and leaves. His silence says more than him sticking around to lecture us ever would.

But our captain, Brent Oliver, has something to say.

“I think we all know we sucked big hairy balls tonight. No one out there played well.”

“Hey, it’s only one game,” the always upbeat Benny Perry interjects.

“He has a point,” I interject. “It is just one game. We should look at it as a one-off.”

Brent thinks it over and says, “Okay, maybe. But it can’t happen again. We’re too close to playoff time. This one-off, or whatever, should be a wake-up call for us.”

We all agree, and then Jaxon Holland, who’s always up for a good time, chimes in with this gem: “Hey, I know what we should do tonight to put this shitty game behind us.”

Uh-oh.

I glance over at him and notice right away that he has on his shit-eating grin.

“Do I even want to ask what you have in mind?” I say with a raised brow.

“You sure do, my man. There just happens to be a really famous strip club not far from our team ho—”

“Nope, I’m out.”

Strip clubs have never been my scene, and they certainly aren’t now that I have Chloe in my life. I’m content to simply head back to the hotel and hang out in my room. Our flight leaves ridiculously early tomorrow morning anyway.

When the shuttle finally drops us off at the team hotel, it’s about midnight. I bid farewell to the guys abstaining from strip club antics and head up to my room.

After I’m settled, I take out my phone and call Chloe. It rings for a while, and I remember then that she has an early shift at the coffee shop in the morning.

I’m about to end the call, but then she picks up.

Since she sounds really sleepy, I ask her if I woke her up.

“No,” she says, “I’m in bed, but I was reading.”

“Is Graham still there?” I ask, immediately feeling fearful that she’s alone.

“Yes. He’s out in the living room watching TV.”

Chuckling, I remark, “Man, your brother sure loves that flat screen he bought you.”

“You’re not kidding. I just about had to wrestle him for the remote so I could watch your game.”

“What?” I pretend to be appalled. “He didn’t already have it tuned in?”

“No, there was some football documentary on.”

“Ah, that explains things. Well, I can’t begrudge a man his chosen sport.”

Chloe snickers. “You boys are too funny.”

Lowering my voice, I rasp, “I’ll show you funny, woman. You just wait till I get back tomorrow.”

“I can’t wait, Dylan.”

“God, me too.”

I’m set for some phone sex, but just then her brother yells in something from the other room.

“Your walls are way too thin,” I remark when she returns her attention back to our call. “I heard everything he was saying.”

“Yeah, he wanted to know where I keep—”

“Your secret stash of potato chips,” I finish for her, since I heard it all anyway.

Laughing, she says, “Speaking of food, would you want to go out to eat tomorrow night?”

“Night? What’s wrong with four or five in the afternoon?”

“Ugh, I kind of got talked into working a double tomorrow. I won’t be done till nine.”

Chloe is just too nice. I can’t say anything bad about that, though. I’m glad she’s not become a guarded or negative person. Even after everything she’s been through, including the stalker shit, she remains positive.

“Later is fine,” I say. “Do you want me to pick you up at the coffee shop after your double?”

“That’s okay. I’m taking my car tomorrow. We can leave for dinner once I’m home. Or we could just order food in since it’ll be kind of late.”

“Babe, I’m fine with whatever you want to do.”

I am too, but there is one thing weighing on me. Even though I’m happy Chloe will have her car, I don’t like the idea of her walking out to the parking lot alone in the dark. Not with the stalker still out there.

Softly, she asks, “Why are you so quiet, Dylan?”

“I was just thinking… Can you have someone walk out with you tomorrow when you’re done?”

“Yes, of course. I’ve been doing that lately anyway once it’s dark out.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

We talk more, and soon we’re joking and teasing.

“Oh, by the way,” Chloe says at one point, “I totally forgot to mention that Aubrey gave me that gift she promised.”

“What is it?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to open it with you.”

“Open it with me? Why?”

“It has to be sex-related, Dylan,” she murmurs. “You know, like a toy.”

“Hmm, with instructions to open it together, I’d say the probability of that is high.”

“There is one weird part, though.”

“Do tell.”

“Aubrey claims the neon green paper she wrapped it in is a hint.”

“A hint, huh?” I’m stumped too. “I have no idea how neon green wrapping paper relates to sex, sweetheart.”

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Guess we will.”

After we’re done talking, I lie back on the bed. I’m thoroughly intrigued as to what this sex-related gift from Aubrey could be. I could always ask Brent, but I’d rather it be a surprise for both me and Chloe.

Maybe when she returns from her shift tomorrow night, we can skip dinner and get straight to opening this mystery gift. If it’s what we think it is, we can put it to good use.

“Hmm, this should be fun,” I murmur as I reach down to my cock, thinking of a hundred dirty things I can do to Chloe with a sex toy.