23
Kristin
The time I spent with Karen was just what I needed to get my mind off everything with Wes. Karen and I spent the day walking around the mall, doing more window shopping than actual shopping, and just laughing and having a good time. We got plenty of stares and looks everywhere we went, with everyone from teenage girls to older couples looking at us like we were crazy. Karen convinced me to go with her into different stores to try on dresses and clothes that we had no intention of buying, just to see what it was like to wear $500 dress or a ridiculous pair of heels that I would fall in at the library.
After shopping we went to lunch at one of those casual restaurant places where you can get five-dollar frozen drinks and cheesecakes the size of your head. We were giddy with excitement with each drink that came and probably made our waiter a little uncomfortable with the not-so-subtle flirting that Karen did with him. I made sure to leave him a good tip to make up for our silliness, including Karen leaving her cell phone number written on one of the napkins at our table for the waiter, “or anyone else,” which she said loudly.
We thought about going to a movie but decided to do some laser tag instead. I couldn’t remember the last time I did anything like that, but there we were, strapped into our laser vests, rolling around and hiding from the preteen boys trying to shoot us. Neither one of us could do anything because as soon as we tried to shoot there were five twelve-year-old sharpshooters there to take us down. Even with our loss, I still had the time of my life.
By the time we left the mall, it was already evening, closing in on seven o’clock, and we decided to call it a day since we both had work tomorrow. We giggled our way back to my car and piled in, making sure not to forget the extra helpings of cheesecake we ordered to go so we had a snack for later tonight.
We were on the road for just a few minutes when Karen flipped on the radio to listen to some music. Naturally, we sang along with every song that came on the whole way, singing at the top of our lungs and even opening the car windows so cars passing us could hear our voices. When we got closer to Chandler, and it got closer to eight, the news came on at the top of the hour. Normally, I don’t pay much attention to it as the news is never good, but when they went over the sports section and mentioned that the Reds had thumped the Pirates, they also threw in a brief news blurb about how the Reds first baseman broke his wrist, and they wouldn’t be surprised if Wes Martin were their first choice to replace him.
Karen looked over at me after she heard the news report. I had managed to get through the whole day with focusing on Wes, and here it was being dragged back in front of me. Only now, it seemed like he was going to be leaving town quickly.
“Well, I guess that answers any questions for me,” I said to Karen as I turned off the radio.
“Kris, that story doesn’t mean anything,” Karen told me. “Just because they’re thinking about him doesn’t mean the team will make it happen.”
“Maybe it’s better this way,” I said as we made our way down past Martin Way on Route 5. I looked over at the lit driveway outside Wes’ parent’s house and didn’t see his SUV parked there. “If he was going to leave anyway, I didn’t want to get wrapped up in a relationship, right?” I think I was saying it more to convince myself than anything else.
“Sure,” Karen said, not sounding as certain about it as I wanted her to be. “He could be gone for six months. There’s no telling what could happen in that time.”
“Right,” I said, not sounding so sure anymore. I drove the few blocks past my apartment to drop Karen off at her place. Before she hopped out, I leaned over and gave her a hug.
“Thanks for today, Karen,” I said to her, trying not to get all mushy and weepy again. “I had so much fun.”
“I’m glad I could help,” she told me as she picked up the bag of cheesecake. “Now to finish off my night right,” she said as she ogled the cheesecake bag. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
I watched her walk into her home, and then took the short drive back over to my apartment. I was just getting out of my car, bag in hand, when a pair of headlights came barreling into the parking lot, briefly blinding me. The car came to a stop right behind mine in the lot. Once I could focus, I could see the familiar outline of the SUV and Wes as he got out of the car.
I closed the door to my car and took a deep breath as Wes walked over to me.
“Kristin, I know you said you didn’t want to see me, but I had to talk to you, and you’re not answering your phone or returning texts, so here I am.”
“I shut my phone off, Wes,” I said to him as I tried to walk past him. “I just needed some time to clear my head of… of everything.”
“Kristin, please,” Wes said as he held my arm. “Look I know everything got messed up, and you have no idea how sorry I am about all that. I’m leaving town. Now. I have to go to Cincinnati.”
So it was true, I thought to myself.
“I… I heard that on the radio a little bit ago that you might be going there. Congratulations. I hope you do well there.” I tried to keep walking again, but Wes stood in front of me.
“I don’t want to leave like this,” Wes said to me. “I can’t leave like this.”
“What do you want from me, Wes?” I said raising my voice. “You have too many obstacles in your life right now. I just don’t see where I fit into all of this.”
“Come with me,” Wes said to me. “Come to Cincinnati with me and stay with me. Maybe if we just had some time away from all this, we can work things out. You’ll get a chance to see… to see how much you mean to me.”
I was stunned that he had asked me to go with him. I never expected him to say that at all, and I stood there for a moment unable to answer him.
“Kristin?” Wes said softly. He took my hand in his and held it.
I shook my head to clear the cobwebs. “Wes, I can’t just pack up and leave,” I said to him. “I have a job, an apartment, and responsibilities here.”
“You don’t have to worry about any of that,” he said to me. “I can take care of all that stuff for you.”
I let go of Wes’ hand. “But this is my life, Wes. Just throwing some money at it doesn’t change the fact that I would have to give up what I love doing… and to do what? Follow you around like a lovesick teenager from city to city with no one around me and nothing to do? I can’t do that. And what about Isabelle? Nothing has changed with her, has it? You think she’s upset now. Imagine how she would be when she finds out I ran off to Cincinnati to be with you while she is home. You can’t ask me to live my life that way.”
Wes stared down at me. I think he was shocked that I had said no to him. Part of me wanted to just jump in the car with him and go, just to see what would happen. The realistic part of my brain knew nothing good could come of that.
“I don’t understand,” Wes said to me, trying not to let me go.
“It’s better this way, Wes,” I said to him, bringing my hand up to his face. I could feel tears building up, starting all the way down in the pit of my stomach until they came up and out, stinging my eyes. “Go to Cincinnati and keep your career going. In a few weeks, you’ll have forgotten about me.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Wes said, a hint of desperation in his voice now.
“It has to happen, Wes. Let me forget about you.” I reached up and gave him a light kiss on the lips and then ran towards the steps, up and into my apartment and closing the door quickly. I didn’t even want to look out the window to see if he was still there or not. I was sobbing again, and it was more than I could take. I even resisted the temptation to turn my phone on again.
After a minute or two, I heard a car door slam, and the sound of a vehicle leaving the parking lot. When I looked out the window into the night, I could see that Wes’ SUV was gone.
You did the right thing, I told myself repeatedly.
“So why doesn’t it feel like it?” I said out loud as I sat on the couch, feeling hurt again.