25
Kristin
Monday mornings are not often a joy, but this one seemed even worse than others. Waking up in the morning was a chore as I groaned when the alarm went off and bade me to wake up. Instinct had me reaching for my phone right away, and it was then I remembered that it was off, and for a good reason. After spending the day yesterday with Karen trying to forget about Wes, coming home and seeing him there, asking me to go with him to Cincinnati, was more than I could take.
I sat up in bed, flipped my phone on, and decided today was going to be a better day no matter what. I was determined to move on, take control of my life again, and get back to the way things were before Wes Martin came in and disrupted everything for me. It was the only way I was going to be able to move on.
I spent some extra time in the mirror after my shower this morning, doing my hair and makeup, things that I didn’t often pay close attention to before I went to the library. I needed to feel good in every way today, and this was as good a place as any to start. I even dressed in prettier clothes than usual, putting on a linen floral dress that I had hanging in the closet, unworn since I moved here. Since the weather was predicted to be nice today, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to wear it.
I left the apartment and made my usual walk to the library, walking past Harding’s Diner and the men’s morning meeting in the window. I didn’t quite know what to expect in regards to a reaction from people in town. Small towns are notorious for gossip and news spreading fast, and I am sure the word about my whirlwind dating with Wes Martin was already making its way around town… and perhaps even our falling out was news to some people as well. I walked down the street, going by the front window, and saw Clyde Stuart and his crew smile at me and wave as I went by. Wyatt Martin was there as well and lifted his cup of coffee to me and smiled as I went by. I gave a small wave and smile back and tried to move on as quickly as I could.
I reached the library door and Karen, as usual, was waiting for me.
“Well don’t you look nice this morning,” Karen commented, gazing up and down at the dress I was wearing.
“I just felt like something pretty today,” I told her as I unlocked the door. “The nice spring weather must have brought it out in me.”
“Okay,” Karen said, following me in, probably wondering why I was going to great lengths to defend my selection of clothes.
We both went about our morning routine of getting things set up for the library. When Karen was done with her tasks, she brought two cups of coffee into my office and sat down across from me.
“I know you probably don’t want to talk about this,” Karen started, “but did you see the news this morning about Wes Martin? They confirmed he got picked up by the Reds.”
I sat back from my computer and looked at Karen and sighed.
“I know,” I told her. “Wes came by my apartment last night before he left.”
“He did? What did he say? Why didn’t you call me?” Karen said as she sat closer to me.
“He was only there for a few minutes,” I told Karen. “Wes showed up right after I dropped you at home. He told me he was leaving for Cincinnati and he asked me to go with him.”
“Wow,” Karen replied with a look of shock. “I guess since you’re here this morning you told him no.”
“Karen, I couldn’t go with him. Besides everything that was going on between the two of us and with his daughter, I wasn’t going to run off to Cincinnati and just leave town like that. That’s not me.”
“Don’t get me wrong Kris,” Karen stated. “I’m glad you stayed; I like having you here. You’re one of the few things in this town that make living here worth it. And I know you don’t really know him that well, but from what you told me, the last few days with him were intense for both of you. It would be tough to not go and at least see what happens.”
“Karen, I’ve only been here for a couple of months,” I replied. “I’m just getting my feet under myself here in Chandler and with my job. I like my life here right now, and I don’t want to just give that up in the hopes that something might work out with Wes. What if I went and then two months from now he decided he wanted someone else? Where does that leave me? It’s too much risk. I need some stability in my life right now.”
“I respect your choice,” Karen said, raising her cup of coffee to me, “it couldn’t have been an easy thing to do.”
“It wasn’t,” I said honestly. “I know it was only a few days, but… I have very strong feelings for Wes. To see that fall apart like it did hurts. His offer was tempting, for a second, but then I realized it was best for both of us if went separate ways. He has other things he needs to focus on, and I have my life that I need to focus on. I have to start thinking about life beyond Wes Martin.”
We could hear some people moving about in the library, so Karen got up to see what was going on and if anyone needed help. I went back to my computer, checking and answering my emails, and then reading the news. I could see that one of the top stories was Wes going to Cincinnati, with a picture of him and a brief story questioning whether or not he was the answer for the team. I quickly moved down the page to get the rest of the news, instead of getting caught up in the story about Wes.
The rest of the morning went along normally, with the usual events going on at the library – helping patrons find books, ordering books from other libraries, coordinating events, and the like. I went out for lunch at around one, choosing to avoid the diner and instead going to the Chinese food place down the street to pick up some wonton soup and an egg roll for lunch. It was nice enough to sit outside today, so I sat at one of the tables placed on the lawn area outside the library and enjoyed the spring sun and breeze.
After I finished eating, I went inside to get back to work. Karen was there at the front counter listening to something, and when I walked in, she turned the volume down.
I walked up to the desk smiling. “Were you listening to one of those romance books on audio again? I told you to be careful; you never know who might walk in.”
“No, I wasn’t,” Karen said with a smirk. “I… I was listening to the ballgame. Pirates and Reds.”
I looked at Karen and quickly composed myself. “You don’t have to hide it, Karen,” I told her. “There’s nothing wrong with listening to the game.”
“Okay,” she said, turning the volume up slightly. “Just so you know, Wes hit a home run his first time up.”
“Good for him,” I commented, trying not to show any interest. I walked back to my office and went back to work, going through messages on the phone and email, and tried not to pay attention to the ballgame.
A little while later, Karen peeked her head into my office. “He just hit another one,” she said quietly. I just nodded, not even looking up from the paperwork I was doing. A little while later I heard Karen exclaim “Holy crap!” I ran out from behind my desk to see what was wrong.
“What is it?” I said, panicking over what I might find.
“Sorry, Kris,” Karen said to me as I came out looking frantic. “It was just the ballgame. Wes… well, Wes hit another home run. That’s three in one game. It’s pretty amazing.”
I sighed and looked at her. “Great,” I said to her and walked back to my office. I knew it was good that Wes was doing so well, but part of me didn’t want to know he was doing great in Cincinnati, moving on with his career and making a big splash. A little part of me was jealous that he could move on so easily.
By the time five came around, and it was time to close, the game was over. The Reds had won, and Wes was a hero in Cincinnati, at least from what Karen told me. She could tell I really didn’t want to hear any more about it as we were cleaning up and locking up for the day. When we walked out and locked the door, Karen turned to me and looked me right in the eye.
“I’m sorry this is so rough on you Kris,” she said sincerely.
“It’s okay,” I said to her. “I think it’s just going to take some time. It doesn’t make it easier that we live in a town where Wes is a hero and I will hear his name or see his picture all the time.”
Karen decided to walk with me back to my apartment. We strolled along Main Street, watching as some of the shops started closing for the day. The diner was just up ahead of us on the street.
“You want to grab something to eat?” Karen suggested as we got closer to the diner.
I thought about it as a possibility. It would be better than going home and sulking and wallowing in pity in my apartment right now. Before I could answer, I looked up as we got close to the door. Coming out the front door was Isabelle dressed in the school track uniform of a tank top and green shorts, holding hands with a young boy with a white apron wrapped around his waist. We stopped and stared at each other for a moment.
“Hi, Isabelle,” I said politely, trying to smile at her and put on a good face.
She looked down at the ground and quickly let go of the boy’s hand. She gave me a brief glance and said: “Hello, Ms. Arthur.” Isabelle turned to the boy and said, “I’ll talk to you later Bradley,” and then ran past us up the sidewalk and down the street.
Bradley stood there holding the door open for us, waiting for us to enter. I decided to keep walking and went by the diner and towards my apartment. Karen hustled to catch up with me.
“You okay?” she said, worried about me.
“I’m fine,” I replied. “I just don’t feel like eating out tonight.”
We walked on quietly for a few paces before Karen tried to resume the conversation.
“That went better than I thought it would,” Karen remarked. “It’s not like she jumped over and tried to punch you or anything.”
I gave her a sideways glance and could see she was smiling at me.
“Who’s the boy?” Karen asked me.
“I have no idea,” I said curtly, wondering if Wes had any idea that Isabelle had a boy in her life. I kept walking on silently until we reached my apartment building.
“Well, thanks for the stimulating talk,” Karen told me. I looked over at her before I went up the stairs to my apartment.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t such great company today,” I said to her. “I do appreciate you trying to cheer me up, really. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.”
“If you need anything or want to talk, just give me a call,” Karen stated. “I’m only a few blocks away. You can even come over if you want. I don’t have much to offer – maybe some leftover pizza – but you’d have some company at least.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I walked up the steps to my apartment door and went in. I put my purse down and went to the fridge to see what was there. I had some leftover spaghetti and meatballs that I tossed in the microwave to have for dinner. When the microwave dinged, I pulled out the steaming bowl and slowly walked around the apartment. Finally, I settled on sitting on my bed to watch some TV while I ate.
If my parents could see me eating spaghetti in bed, I thought to myself and gave a little smile.
Nothing interesting was on the TV, and as I was passing the sports channel, I saw highlights of Wes hitting his home runs. There was a brief clip of an interview he gave after the game. He was talking about how it was a new start for him, and it was great to get off to a good one. I quickly grabbed the remote and turned to watch something else, anything else, and settled on some reality show that I paid little attention to. I heard a faint beep come from my phone, which made me realize I had turned my phone on. I got off the bed and walked over to my purse and grabbed the device. I saw there was a recent message from Wes, along with a bunch that I hadn’t read from previous days. The one from today was just from a few minutes ago, stating how he had a good day and wished I was there with him and that he was thinking of me.
I held the phone in my hand for a minute, started to type two or three times, and then deleted each message I came up with before I sent anything. Wes was not making it easy to forget him, near or far.
I carried my phone back into the bedroom with me and put it on my nightstand. I concentrated on the reality show, watching the antics of people trying to renovate their house, hoping to get lost in what they were doing, to get lost in anything that wasn’t Wes Martin.