Good Lord, she’d done it again. Fallen for Ben’s charm and good looks without a thought of the repercussions. While she untangled her underwear from her jeans that were turned inside out and tossed against the back corner of the barn, she thought about those repercussions.
And came up empty. They were two consenting adults having fun being naked together. And there were moments when they weren’t naked and they enjoyed each other as well. Her body, even though it took a toll being pushed up against the wall, felt light and airy.
“Even when you’re not naked in my arms I can tell when you’re thinking.”
“You need to spend more time around educated people. Sounds to me like you date a lot of bimbos.”
The irony of her statement made her grimace. With only a handful of community college courses under her belt, Alexis was a far cry from educated.
“I need to spend more time with you.” Ben zipped up his fly and ran a hand through his hair, miraculously taming it back in place.
And back to the repercussions. As long as she kept her heart and feelings out of it, there was nothing wrong with their casual affair. If the right guy came along she’d stop having sex with Ben and life would go on. Easy-peasy.
“Wheels. Spinning. What’s up?” Ben sat on a folding chair and pulled her down on his lap.
“This sex thing with us.”
“It’s pretty great, isn’t it?” He kissed her neck, distracting her from all cohesive thoughts.
Somehow she pulled herself from the sexual trance and cleared her throat. “The sex is great, yes. I’m not going to pretend to make empty promises, and I’m not looking for them from you either. I’m not looking for a relationship, but I also don’t sleep around. If you have a woman you’re seeing in California, I only ask for the courtesy of being open and honest about it, as I will be with you.”
This was new. Sitting on a guy’s knee, talking about feelings, rambling.
Ben let out a deep sigh. “There’s a woman…”
Uh oh. Alexis didn’t like the guarded expression in his eyes. The barbed-wire she secured around her heart tightened.
“Was a woman. I haven’t been with her…for a long time. Months and months before I met you.”
“But?” She sensed the weight of a barrel of wine being lowered on her chest.
“We…I don’t have any feelings toward her, not in the way I feel about you, but we have…unresolved…issues. She’s still a part of my life.” Ben rubbed his palms against her sides and leaned his forehead against hers.
“You’re still in love with her?”
“No.” He closed his eyes and turned so his cheek rested against her head. “Love was never on the table. It’s…complicated, and I have a lot I need to deal with back home.”
“I see.” Alexis swallowed and squirmed, an ill attempt to get away when his arms anchored her to his lap.
“No, I don’t think you do.” He pulled his head back and stared into her eyes. His dark pupils pulsating against the light blue of his irises. “It’s not what you think but I’m having a hard time explaining. You’re the only woman I want, Alexis. Felicia…she’s not…”
“Felicia?” She’d never seen Ben so unsure of himself. Pausing so much in between words. He had her under his spell with his touch so gentle, his gaze so tender, his words so sweet. Still, the name of another woman on his lips had her stiffening her shoulders.
“It’s not so much her. It’s…a family issue. You, Alexis. You’re the only woman I’m kissing.” He touched his lips to hers. “The only one I touch.” His hands slid up her sides and caressed the underside of her breasts. “The only one I want.”
Ben’s quads tightened under her butt, his arms locked hard against her waist. Alexis tilted her body so she could study his face. There was a straining in his eyes she hadn’t seen before, his jaw clenched, as did his fists.
His tone, deep and slow, mirrored his body language. “Are you sleeping with him?”
Alexis, taken aback at the sudden change, frowned. “Who?”
“Ty,” Ben growled through gritted teeth.
So he was jealous. The last time she made a guy jealous was…never. While her head spun from trying to figure out the Felicia story, her heart did flips when Ben looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes. The world spun in confusion around her, but she put him out of his misery and responded.
“Ty and I went to school together.” It was partially true. He was four years ahead of her, and they never talked until they both became business owners.
“Like you and Brandon?”
He remembered. And he was so, so jealous. Alexis wiggled out of his tight hold and turned so she was straddling him.
“No. Not like Brandon.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
And he hadn’t told her his whole story. At the moment it didn’t seem to matter. She cocked her head and studied his eyes. So stunning against his tanned skin and dark brows. And to be blessed with long lashes, she’d never noticed eyelashes before, especially not on a guy.
“And you’re thinking again. Don’t lie to me, Alexis. You said you wanted the honesty thing.”
“I did, didn’t I?” His hair, so dark and soft. She ran her hands through it, messing it so it wasn’t so perfectly placed, and looped her fingers together behind his neck. “You want the truth?”
“Today, please.”
Toying with him a little longer was tempting, but she did worry about him having a heart attack. She knew how to perform CPR, and it would be another excuse to put her mouth on him, but she went for direct instead.
“No.”
“Thank God.” Ben crushed his lips to hers, his fingers curled around her shoulders, keeping her in place as he made love to her mouth. Their tongues played and toyed as moans escaped their lungs, hands exploring each other’s bodies. Again. His desire evident in the hardness growing under her.
A loud bark startled them, breaking apart their kiss, and Ben’s hand dropped from her breast. Alexis jumped from his lap as Hemmy bounded toward them, her father in tow. Too caught up in each other, they hadn’t heard the door open.
“Dad. Hi.” Alexis straightened her shirt and she heard Ben rise to his feet behind her.
“Shane.” Ben cleared his throat. “Nice to see you again.”
“A pleasant surprise, for sure.” Her father winked at Alexis and she nearly died of embarrassment.
Where they were sitting couldn’t be seen directly from the barn door, but her father was a smart man, catching Grace trying to sneak in, sneak out, and sneak off more times than he could count on his fingers and toes combined during her high school years. He knew the signs.
The disheveled clothes and hair. The shocked manner. The nervous jitters. All signs she teased her sister about, making fun of her on many occasions for looking guilty as sin. And here she and Ben stood in the same manner.
“Uh, Ben came to try the ice wine.” Damn, she hated how stupid she sounded. “I told him it still might not be ready yet.”
“Hmm, isn’t that why he came last month, too? Had to rush out for some dinner date.”
Double damn. Her father knew, and he seemed quite pleased about it.
“Mr. Le Blanc.” Since when did Ben call her father by that? It was the guilt. The high school boys would refer to her father in the Mr. form after being busted as well. Alexis kicked Ben in the shin, thankful for Hemmy’s giant body as a shield. “Uh, I came by to see the progress on the function hall. I checked the weather forecast, and it looks like you have a few warm spring days ahead. You must be excited to see the buds start to form on the vines.”
They talked about budding, grapes, winemaking, and then back to the upgrades again.
“So what do you think of the function hall?”
“I haven’t seen it yet. Just got here not long ago.”
Alexis rolled her eyes internally. His car had been sitting in the driveway when she and Ty got back from shopping for paint. Surely her parents noticed it had been there for more than an hour as well.
“Well, ‘bout time you check it out. Alexis can show you around. Her apartment is no more. Been staying in her old room upstairs. She’s the only room that faces the east. Gorgeous sunrises can be seen from that upstairs window. Great climbing tree next to the house as well. Claudia thinks the next big ice storm will have it crashing down. I say it’s got a few more climbing years left in it.” He gave them both a knowing smile before making a lame excuse about walking the field, calling Hemmy to trail after him.
“Think he knows?” Ben’s shoulders finally relaxed.
She smacked his arm. “Are you kidding me? That bit about my bedroom window? He practically told you to climb into it tonight and make love to me.”
“Oh, yeah?” He opened his arms to pull her into a hug but she stepped away.
“No way. I’m mortified. Aren’t you?”
“Of having sex in your childhood bed? Actually, it’s kinda turning me on.”
“You’re always turned on.” She grabbed her coat and headed toward the door. “Come on. I’ll show you the new hall.”
Claudia had found them in the hall and insisted Ben stay for dinner. Unable to turn down the invitation, the four of them sat around the dining room table stuffed from roasted chicken and vegetables.
“I can’t thank you enough, Claudia. You’re food is always amazing.”
“Coming from a man who was raised on authentic Italian food, I take that as quite the compliment.”
A blanket of contentment wrapped itself around Alexis’s heart listening to Ben and her mother get along so wonderfully.
“Actually, my father is Italian, my mother Irish. But my Italian grandmother insisted my mother learn all of my father’s favorite meals before they married.”
“She made us ravioli one night. I’ve tried to replicate it but haven’t come close.”
“I’ll ask my mother for the recipe.”
Claudia placed her hand over her heart and nearly swooned out of her chair. “Really? You think she’ll share?”
Alexis hid her grin. She brought boys home for dinners in the past. Boys. As in friends from school.
Never a man she was dating.
Not that she was dating Ben. It was purely a sexual fling.
“Absolutely.” Ben finished his wine and shook his head when Shane held up the bottle to refill. “No thank you. I need to drive into town. I’m assuming the Millers have rooms available at the inn.”
“John and Melissa are in Boston visiting their son. They close the inn for a few weeks every March to travel a bit before the busy season.” Alexis’s father filled Ben’s glass and gave them another knowing glance. “Looks like you’re staying here then. Grace’s room is made up as a spare. We’re happy to have you for as long as you’re staying.”
Heat cooked the roasted potatoes sitting in Alexis’s belly. Ben under the same roof? With her parents downstairs? The house was tiny, only Grace, Alexis’s room, and a half-bath on the second floor. Even though her parents’ bedroom was downstairs, the temptation would be too strong.
She couldn’t have him naked and under the sheets across the hall from her and keep her hands, her body, to herself.
Alexis opened her mouth in protest, but Ben placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed.
“If it’s not too much trouble.”
“No trouble at all. I’ll put on a set of fresh sheets as soon as I’m done with the dishes.” Claudia rose, and Ben squeezed Alexis’s thigh one more time before standing.
“Alexis and I can do the dishes. You’ve spent enough time in the kitchen already.”
Aaaaannnnnd thump. There went her heart, libido, and self-control, falling in a heap on the floor at his feet. Warmth filled her chest and weakened her knees.
If only he didn’t live three thousand miles away.
No. It was a good thing. If he lived any closer she’d fall in love with him. And she didn’t have time to do the love and relationship thing. Spring was right around the corner, and with that came the busiest months of the year. Between the new harvest, expanding Coastal Vines, figuring out how to promote the new function hall, and experimenting with the new fruit wines, her plate was already full.
Drop-in sex with Ben every month or so was all she had time for. He’d be a distraction if he was around more often.
“You’re thinking.” He dropped a kiss to her cheek and stacked the dishes in the sink, rinsing one at a time and them handing to Alexis to load in the dishwasher.
“Stop it.” She lightly smacked him before reaching for the plate.
“I like your parents.”
“They’re good people.” Those warm and fuzzies weren’t going away any time soon.
“So, that tree outside your bedroom. How many guys have climbed it?”
“None.”
“Liar.”
She gasped and ran her hand through the faucet, splashing him with water. “Jerk.”
“How am I a jerk?” He asked, laughing as he toweled off his face. “You probably had a stream of boys itching to climb up and sneak through your window.”
“As if.” He’d never even glance her way if they’d crossed paths in high school. Granted, he would have been in college during her school years.
“Why do you say it like that?” He tossed a towel over his shoulder and leaned his hip against the sink.
“I told you I played football.”
“Yeah.” Ben wiggled his eyebrows and let his gaze slowly assess her body. “I can only imagine what it was like being tackled by you. Or landing on top of you. Well, I guess I can imagine. Been there, done that.”
“Stop it,” she hushed. “My parents are in the other room.”
He only laughed, drawing her in by her hips. “What will they say if they catch me making out with their daughter in the kitchen?” He flashed his Italian dimples and her heart skipped a beat.
“Nothing compared to what they’ll do to you if they catch you sneaking into my bedroom tonight.”
“I think Shane is encouraging our behavior.”
“Our behavior?”
“Mm.” Ben looped the towel behind her neck and drew her close.
“We’re not doing it tonight,” she whispered, her cheeks warming.
“I can be very quiet,” he whispered in her ear, planting kisses on her neck. “The question is, can you?”
“Stop it,” Alexis warned through gritted teeth.
He let her go, chuckling as he wiped down the counter. “I’m going to ask your dad about the tree. How many punks he’s caught.”
“You are not.”
“Aww, very telling.”
What was telling was how static her love life had been, and how active her younger sister’s had been. Their father caught plenty of boys scaling the giant maple and sneaking into her room.
To get to Grace.
Her father came into the kitchen, taking their coats off the hook and helping Claudia into hers. “Your mother and I are heading into Rockland to see a movie. You kids want to come?”
They never went out on a weeknight. Heck, she couldn’t even remember the last time they went to see a movie.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m a bit jet-lagged. I planned on calling it an early night.” Ben turned to Alexis, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “You go out with your parents. There’s no need to entertain me.”
She did all she could not to roll her eyes. He was more obvious than her father had been. “I don’t plan on entertaining you anyway. I have research to do.”
“Speaking of,” Shane cut in. “There’s been a lot of excited chatter with the folks in town. If you’re going to be around for a few days, maybe you could give them some consulting advice? They’d pay you for your services.”
“I’ve been in touch with Hope Windward and Lily Novak. I can contact others as well.”
A tingle of jealousy worked its way up her spine. The only people he’d been in contact with were the two young, beautiful business owners. Figures.
“You know,” Alexis said, stomping across the kitchen to her coat. “Maybe I will go to the movies with you.”
Her father didn’t hide his surprise and her mother tucked in her lips to hold back a laugh. None of this was funny. She didn’t like being the center of attention. Her parents were trying to be matchmakers to something that was never going to happen.
“Oh, uh…well,” her father stammered.
“You’re more than welcome to come, sweetie. And so is Ben.” her mother said over Alexis’s shoulder, “even though it’s only four in the afternoon California time, and you’re still jet lagged.”
Elephants in the room didn’t sit pretty with Alexis. Always one to speak her mind, she chucked her coat back on the hook and fisted her knuckles on her hips.
“Mom. Dad. I appreciate you trying to be matchmakers here, but please stop. Ben lives in California. I live in Maine. He’s helped us with our business and is a…family friend now. Stop with the wedding planning and prayers for grandchildren. It’s not like that with us. Okay? Ben and I are friends, sure. You’re not getting a fairytale out of it. I’m going to stay home, work on the new wine labels for the fruit wine, and go to bed early. Hemmy has a vet appointment in the morning.” At hearing his name, Hemmy lifted his head from his chicken coma and whined. “Yes, it’s time for shots. Buck it up, big fella. Have fun on your date night,” she said to her parents, hugging them before she fled from the kitchen.
Her parents meant well, she knew that, but they didn’t need to meddle in her social life. It was embarrassing.
She settled at her father’s desk in the corner of the living room and opened her laptop. The Maine Wine Trail listed most of the wineries in the state and she clicked through their websites, noting the varieties of fruit wines and uniqueness of each winery.
It wasn’t something she often did, preferring to keep to tradition and not be influenced by trends or social media. But Ben had a point. If she wanted to keep the business going she’d have to keep up with the times. She respected her Grumpy’s wishes, but maybe it was time to broaden their wine selection. They could do so without interfering with Grumpy’s blends. And learning they’d been losing money over the years gave her no choice.
She balked at having a website but it did lead more people to the winery. That, and being part of the Maine Wine Trail, which was online as well.
Deep in research, Hemmy a heavy, warm blanket on her feet, she almost forgot about Ben until she heard the back door close and her foot warmer disappear.
“Hey, big fella. At least someone is happy to see me.”
She didn’t bother looking up, Ben’s presence was as strong and bold as the Chianti he sent her a few weeks ago. She saw him from the corner of her eye, her gaze following him to the couch.
He sat on the couch, patted the cushion next to him, and placed a hand on Hemmy’s neck. “I don’t suppose the beast is allowed on the furniture?”
“No. Not here.”
Hemmy rolled over and Ben slid to the floor, scratching her dog’s belly. He really needed to stop doing these things. It was insane on her girly parts. They were getting a workout on their own, quivering in want just watching him play with her dog.
Knowing no productive work would happen with the two males in her life now cuddling and playing together on the floor, Alexis slammed her laptop shut and stood.
“I’m going to bed.”
“Is that an offer?”
“Nope. Alone. I have a lock on my door.”
“Why the sudden need to keep me out?”
“Because you mess with my head.”
“I’d like to mess with your other parts.” He pushed himself to standing, ignoring Hemmy’s whining. “Are you going to show me to your room?”
“No. I’ll show you to Grace’s room.”
Ben picked up the carry-on he must have brought in when she was working and followed her up the stairs.
“It’s not much. Our rooms are small. Barely enough room for a twin bed and a tall dresser.”
“All I need is your bed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Your bed is right here.” She opened the door to her sister’s room, expecting him to grimace at the pink walls and zebra print comforter and curtains. Her parents never redid the rooms when the girls moved out, claiming the décor was nostalgic to their younger years.
He kept his eyes on her, ignoring the room, and pushing past her. “And this must be your room.” He opened the door and she cringed.
Most of her stuff from the apartment went into a portable storage unit behind the barn, and she kept only the bare minimum in her cramped space.
“I like this room better.” Ben dropped his bag on her navy striped comforter and checked out the posters on the wall. Patriots and Red Sox players, all now retired, covered the beige walls.
“You’re not sleeping in here.”
“That’s fine. I don’t plan on sleeping much.” He tweaked her nose and picked up one of the football trophies from the shelf above her bed. “Rookie of the year.” He set it down and picked up a softball trophy. “MVP.”
Reminiscing about her successful high school days would be a reminder of what she’d become today. Not much. No fancy education. No solid group of friends. Helping to run her parents’ failing winery. And no boyfriend. Sort of. Maybe. She didn’t have a clue what she and Ben were.
When he reached for another, she grabbed his shirt collar, yanking him backward. “Enough. Those are old. Get your bag and toss it in the princess room.”
Ignoring her, he stepped over to the window, peering outside. “It’s like those trees you see in the movies. I bet you snuck out all the time.”
“I got up early to work. Staying out late would only make my days more miserable.” In other words, she was boring.
He sat on the bed and tugged at her wrists until she stood between his open thighs. “You work too much.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It is if you don’t have any fun. That bucket list we talked about a while ago…”
“No.” Alexis shook her head and stepped out of his reach. She didn’t need another reminder at how dull she was. How exciting Ben was. How incompatible they were.
“Sweetheart.” His tone soft and compassionate. Men didn’t talk to her like that. “What’s wrong?”
What’s wrong? If she told him how insecure she was, how she’d never been cared for this way before, how she’d never had a fountain of emotions bubbling up in her chest, ready to spill out her eyes before, he’d run the hell away.
All these years Alexis was content and happy with her life. The old cliché ignorance is bliss could never be more true. She didn’t know what she was missing in her life until Ben showed her. And the sucky part of it all was that she couldn’t have him.
Geography, culture, and life kept them apart.