I’m an ass.

I realized that fact somewhere over the Caribbean but it was too late to turn back. Too late to undo the one thing I promised I wouldn’t do again. Walk away. Kenzi didn’t deserve it and I didn’t deserve her.

I knew that, but somewhere between thousands of tomatoes being tossed around Sutamarchán and testing out local cuisine, I realized that I didn’t give a damn. I wanted Kenzi. I loved her and I didn’t deserve her. But I was prepared to be the kind of man who did deserve her, and the moment I landed in Colorado I started making plans.

It wouldn’t be easy, getting Kenzi to forgive me. She was a strong, independent woman who was happy to be alone if the alternative was being with the wrong person. Showing up with flowers and jewelry wouldn’t soften her, wouldn’t earn her forgiveness. She needed more.

Two days. That’s how long it took me to find her, or how long it took her to stop avoiding me. “Stop asking about me!”

I grinned down at her, legs crossed at the ankles in her doorway. “It’s still mostly a free country, I can ask about whomever I please.” Her nostrils flared and she gripped the door close to her. “Can we talk?”

“About what,” she sighed, looking exhausted. Sad.

“I owe you an apology.”

“You don’t owe me a thing, Chase. You had every right to leave and help out an old friend. Just…don’t even worry about it.” She stepped back to slam the door but I shot a hand out to stop her.

“But I am worried about it, Kenz. We had a deal.”

Her icy glare almost dropped me to my knees. “Deal’s off, Chase. Goodbye.” That time I didn’t stop her from shutting the door in my face because I knew just what I was up against.

She’d given up already.

It hurt like hell. But too bad for her, I refused to give up.

I showed up again a few days later, this time I caught her in the backyard, hands buried in the dirt. “Now that’s a sight a man could get used to.”

She froze on her hands and knees, glaring at me over her shoulder but all I could see was that round, heart-shaped ass. “Don’t get too used to it, you won’t be seeing much of it.”

We’d see about that. “I have a surprise for you, Kenzi baby.”

“No thanks,” she called out, back to ignoring me. “Don’t you have a business to get up and running or something?”

“This is more important,” I told her honestly even though the way she whirled around, jumped to her feet and glared at me said that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

“Will you stop? Please!” Swiping dirty hands against her hips to clean them, Kenzi growled in frustration. “I don’t need or want to hear your useless words, Chase. It’s done. You got what you wanted so please, just stop!”

The viciousness of her words brought me up short. I’d been operating under the assumption that she was angry, that her feelings were hurt. Not that she outright hated me.

“You want me to leave you alone?”

“That’s what you do best, Chase. Why are you even here, anyway?”

I had no right to be angry or frustrated, but I felt both anyway. “You are the most stubborn woman alive! Just come out to the front porch and then we can talk.” She opened her mouth to argue once again and I pressed my fingers to her lips to stop her. “Just go out there!”

Arms crossed, she took a long moment to glare at me before stomping through the house and out onto the front porch where she stopped short at the hipster in cuffed jeans, suspenders and red eyeglasses.

“Who are you?”

He flashed a look at me and then back to Kenzi. “I’m Ashby Collins, editor of The Happy Hempist. I heard you have quite the selection of organic skin and body care products.” Ashby was in his element, slowly pulling answers from an at first weary Kenzi, but then she grew animated and charming as she talked about her passion.

“I have some things in the house if you want a quick treatment?” She finally realized what she must look like. “I was tending to my herb garden and berry bushes.”

“You grow them at home too?”

She laughed. “Of course, it’s where inspiration often strikes. Now you have that whole pale English rose thing going on with your skin so we’ll do a deep moisture treatment.”

She was so beautiful when she was in her element, smiling and chatty, friendly and bubbly. Ashby was putty in her hands, glowing as she complimented his skin while making sure to double back and answer his questions. It was hard to believe a man could be so blind to what was right in front of him. But I’d been so blind, so stupid and there was still a good chance she wouldn’t forgive me.

I left the new friends and took a seat on the glider, scanning the very familiar neighborhood that had gone through a few cosmetic changes over the years. Kenzi’s place was lived in, homey and mine was, well there was a dirty bike on the porch and a planter half full with dried dirt. Maybe it was something Kenzi and I could do together.

“Thank you, Chase.”

The deep note in her voice pulled me from my thoughts and my gaze immediately found hers. “It was my pleasure, Kenz.” She stared at me like she was trying to figure me out. “I’m sorry, Kenzi. You were right. I should have talked to you first and my only excuse is that I’ve grown too used to only worrying about myself.”

“You are a single man, that’s your right.” She stood taller, breaking the warm bubble of intimacy we had going, putting more distance between us. “Anyway, thanks for that. See you around.”

“Wait. Have dinner with me. Friday night. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.”

I thought I saw hope flare in her green eyes but it was gone too quick to be sure as she took another step back.

“Fine, Chase. See you then,” she said, gifting me a sad, resigned smile as the door slowly closed between us.

It wasn’t an enthusiastic acceptance, but it was acceptance. And I had the perfect plan to turn that into something more.