Chapter Nine
Two hours later, Regan was still coming down from the high. She’d loved flying and could definitely see what attracted Nate.
When he’d picked her up that morning, he’d appeared tense, on edge. Now his hands were relaxed on the wheel. They hadn’t talked much since they’d left the airfield, but it was a comfortable silence. This was the longest they’d been together without having sex.
They were still heading south, but she didn’t ask him where they were going again. She was just happy to relax and see what the day brought.
Her stomach rumbled.
He glanced over at her. Reaching into the glove compartment, he pulled out a bar of chocolate and handed it to her.
“The police force’s idea of a healthy breakfast?” she asked, but took the chocolate.
“We can stop if you like.”
“No. This will do. Let’s get where we’re going.”
She nibbled on the chocolate, then broke off a piece and popped it in his mouth.
The sea came into view, and she had an inkling of what they were going to do. She hadn’t thought he’d taken much notice of her to-do list the other night. Obviously, he had, and warmth stole over her. Finally, they drove into a small town, and he parked on the quay opposite a row of boats moored up to the shore.
“Come on,” he said.
She grabbed her bag from the backseat and followed him around to the rear of the car. He collected a couple of bags and a cooler from the trunk, then locked up. Finally, he turned toward the sea. He nodded to a sleek white boat straight in front of them.
“That’s the White Lady. She’s owned by a friend of my dad’s,” Nate said, heading to the pretty boat. “I’ve brought my dad a few times over the last couple of years, so I know how she works.”
“She’s pretty.” Regan forced the words out. But truthfully, she was all choked up. He’d done this for her. Not to have sex, but just to make her happy. “Thank you.”
“Hey, don’t go all mushy on me. I’m only trying to get into your pants.”
“Yeah, because that’s been so hard to do.” She sniffed. “Come on, take me on board. I can’t wait.”
Leaning across the gap, he placed his bags and the cooler on the deck, then took her bag from her and added it to the pile. He swung himself onto the deck and held out a hand for her. She slid her palm into his and jumped the narrow distance. The boat was small enough that she could feel the sway under her feet, and a little bubble of excitement fizzed up inside her.
“We’ll have some lunch before we set off,” he said.
“Can’t we head out and then eat?” She was itching to get out to sea.
He looked a little…embarrassed. “I get seasick. I need to eat before we go, or I won’t eat at all.”
Aw, and he’d still done this for her. “Okay. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, I’ve got it sorted.”
She sat on the bench by the small cabin, unfastening her shoes and kicking them off, then wriggling her toes. Nate clearly knew his way about the boat. He disappeared into the cabin and came out a minute later with a pale blue blanket that matched the ship’s trim. He laid it down on the deck at the back of the boat, then patted it. “Come and sit down.”
Next, he unpacked the cooler, crusty bread, pâté, roast chicken, strawberries. Finally, he took the top off a couple of beers and handed her one, then sat down beside her.
Side by side, backs leaning against the cabin wall, legs stretched out, they gazed out to sea. Regan munched on bread and pâté, nibbled on a chicken leg, and stared out over the water.
The last of the tension that had been part of her for so long released its tight hold.
She knew what she wanted to do with her future, she just wasn’t sure she could achieve it, and that had been niggling away at her insides since long before she got out. Most ex-cons reoffended, and she was determined she wasn’t going to be part of that statistic. But options were limited for someone like her. Employers didn’t look on a criminal record as a desirable quality in a potential employee. Which meant if she wanted to make a success of her life, she was going to have to do it on her own. And while she liked the challenge, she was also aware there was a good chance of failure. But today, with the sun sparkling on the water, it seemed like anything was possible.
She popped a strawberry in her mouth and chewed, casting a sideways glance at Nate. He was more relaxed than she had ever seen him. She watched the movement of his throat as he swallowed the beer. His lips as he chewed his food. He caught her staring, and a smile curled the corners of his lips. Taking her hand, he brought it to his mouth and dropped a slow kiss on her palm, sending tingles running through her to settle low down in her belly.
The urge to drag him down onto the blanket was almost overwhelming, but they were hardly alone. There were people on the boats on either side of them. She’d have to restrain herself for now, but in some ways, she loved the slow build of sexual tension between them.
Finally, he pushed himself to his feet, pulling her up with him. He cleared up the food efficiently. “I’ll just put the rest in the fridge and we can go,” he said.
As he came out of the cabin, he was hauling his T-shirt over his head. He tossed her a tube of sunscreen. “Will you?”
He obviously hadn’t seen the sun in a while. Neither had she. They looked like a couple of vampires. He stood in front of her, legs braced apart as she poured lotion onto her hands. She started at his shoulders—relishing the feel of his hard muscles under her hands—then along his arms. She got more lotion and rubbed it over his hair-roughened chest, then down over his ridged abdomen, slipping inside where his jeans hung low on his hips. He was hard inside the soft denim, and she grazed over the bulge, heard his breath hitch in his throat. “Turn around,” she said, and her voice was low, husky.
His back was beautiful. Flawless, silky skin over hard muscle, wide at the shoulders, tapering to a narrow waist. As she massaged the cream into his pale skin, the throb of desire rose in her blood.
“You’re all done.”
“Thanks. You?”
“I can do it.” If he touched her now, she would not be responsible for her actions. “Go sail the boat.”
He grinned. “Actually, she doesn’t have a sail. We drive her, not sail her, which is a good thing, because I have no idea how to sail a boat.”
She rubbed some lotion into her arms and face as he untied the ropes that moored them to the shore. She came to stand at his shoulder as he switched on the engine, and then they were reversing out of the mooring. Once clear of the other boats, he turned the vessel around and they headed out of the small harbor and toward the open sea.
Breathing in deeply, her lungs filled with the tang of the salt air. Above her head, seagulls swooped and screamed. It reminded her of childhood holidays she’d spent with her dad’s sister—Carl’s mom—who lived by the sea. When everything had been so simple.
As they moved into open water, Nate increased their speed, and they were flying over the waves, the wind whipping her hair back. She stepped closer and circled her arms around his waist, pressing herself up against the lean, hard length of him. When they were a good distance from shore, he slowed the speed and then dragged her in front of him, wrapping his own arms around her and pulling her against him. He released his hold to take the wheel, but she stayed where she was, leaning back against his solid strength and gazing out to sea.
In that moment, she was happy.
Truly happy. She forgot about the past and the future and just existed in the moment. She wasn’t sure how long they stood like that, but by the time he slowed the boat and switched off the engine, the land had disappeared into the shimmering heat haze.
Just like on her to-do list.
He had been listening that night.
He turned to face her, one eyebrow quirked. “Well?”
“I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”
“Do you need one?”
She looked around her, turning a full circle. There was no wind, and the sea was calm, just a few ripples on the otherwise smooth surface. As far as she could see, there was no sign of anyone else, no boats, no land.
“You can swim, can’t you?”
She huffed. “Of course I can swim.” Holding his gaze, she pulled the T-shirt over her head and tossed it on the roof of the cabin. Then her hand went to her waist, and she paused. “What about you?”
“It would be just our luck if the wind picked up and the bloody boat disappeared.”
She giggled at the image.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I hate cold water.”
“It’s going to be cold?”
“Freezing.”
Ignoring his comment and his lustful expression, she dragged off her jeans, hesitated a moment, then unfastened her bra, slipped it off, and added it to the pile of clothes. Finally, she slid her panties down over her legs, and she was naked and ready to go. The sun was warm on her skin, and she stood for a moment reveling in the sensation of heat, the smell of the sea, and the quiet.
Nate reached for her, and she backed away. “Oh no. Swim first. Play afterward.” She was going to lose her nerve if she didn’t take the plunge soon. Suddenly, the water looked deep, and as he’d said, cold. “Perhaps we should move to the Caribbean where the water’s warm.”
“Maybe I’ll take you one day. Now don’t be a wimp.”
She glanced at him—this relationship wasn’t supposed to include holidays. It was supposed to be over in another week or so. She tried not to think about that as Nate opened the railing on the side of the boat. She shuffled forward, curling her toes around the edge.
Then she raised her arms above her head, took a deep breath, and did a graceful dive into the water.
Holy fuck.
All the breath squeezed from her lungs. Yup. It was freezing. But a sense of freedom and exhilaration filled her as she hit the water. She swam down and down with strong strokes, loving the pull on her muscles, the tingling of the cold, salty water on her skin.
When her lungs started to burn, she turned and kicked upward, heading for the bright light. She burst out of the water, gasping for air. The boat was fifty feet away, and Nate was leaning over the side, searching the water.
She raised a hand, and he spotted her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? The water’s lovely and warm.”
“Liar.”
She swam then, in a big circle around the boat, until her muscles ached, then she rolled over on her back and floated, arms spread, sun warming her face. Only when she started shivering did she head back to the boat. Nate leaned down, held out a hand to her, and she slid her palm into his. He pulled her up easily onto the deck, then, keeping her hand tight in his, he led her around to where the blue blanket covered the deck. Dropping her hand, he picked up a towel from the cabin roof, pulled her hair free of its ponytail, and rubbed it dry. Then he blotted the rest of her body before stepping away. He was obviously prepared. Next, he picked up the sunscreen, squeezed some onto his hands, and smoothed it over her shoulders.
The attention felt wonderful, but the fact that he cared, and was so thoughtful, twisted something inside her. Then he was massaging the cream into her breasts, and all rational thought disappeared. His thumb grazed over a nipple, and she jumped.
“Stay still, you don’t want to burn.”
He ran his hands down her legs, then over her back until she was all languid and needy. When he was done, he stepped back. Without a word, he shucked out of his jeans and was as naked as she was.
His cock was already hard, and her mouth watered. She went to go down on her knees, wanting to taste him, have all that masculine power at her mercy, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Me first. I want to see if your skin tastes of the sea.”
She studied him, the flush across his cheekbones, the heat in his eyes, the erection proudly reaching up. She licked her lips, and he groaned.
“How about together,” he said. “We taste each other.”
She liked the idea. “Lie down.”
“Has anyone told you that you can be very bossy?”
“Lots of people. Now do as I say.”
He did as he was told, stretching out on his back on the blanket, his eyes watching her out of half-closed lids, his breathing shallow. She straddled him, one foot on either side, facing his feet, then she went down on her hands and knees.
“Fuck,” he exhaled loudly. “You need to see the view from here. So pretty.”
His cock bobbed in front of her face, and she leaned forward and stroked her tongue over the head.
“Double fuck.” His hands were on her thighs sliding up. “Back a bit.”
She edged backward until she felt his warm breath feathering against her sex. His hands palmed her ass, and she stopped breathing, her muscles petrified, as his long, calloused fingers slid over her skin, parting the folds. Then his mouth was on her. She closed her eyes and let the wonderful sensations wash through her. His tongue pushed inside, fucking her, licking, sliding over her, soft then hard, stopping short of her clit, and she moaned.
He backed away, and she growled.
“Aren’t you supposed to be doing something?” he murmured.
She blinked open her eyes. His shaft was yearning toward her, and she took him in her mouth as his lips covered her again. She moved her head, sliding him in and out, in again, until he hit the back of her throat. Then she backed off, sucking the tip, keeping her movements regular so she could concentrate on the feeling between her legs.
The sensations were driving her wild. He was eating her up, using his lips, his teeth, his tongue. Finally, he latched onto her clit and she stopped moving, couldn’t concentrate on anything but the feel of his soft mouth sucking her, the stroke of his tongue, the hard edge of his teeth. The pleasure was coalescing in her belly, building, swelling. Her mouth was filled with his cock, and she couldn’t get enough air. She breathed in deeply as he sucked hard, pressed with the flat of his tongue, and the pleasure burst over her. She was coming back to herself when he bit down gently and she came again.
Her turn now. Regan took a couple of deep breaths and, balancing herself on one elbow, cupped his balls. She wrapped her other hand around his cock, squeezing, then sucked hard while rubbing her hand up and down over the shaft. His body was taut, his fingers still on her ass, digging in hard. His back arched, and he came in her mouth. She swallowed convulsively, gave his cock one last kiss, swung her leg over, and collapsed on top of him. His arms came around her, and he stroked circles on her back.
The sun was warm, the boat bobbed lazily under them, and she was quite sure she had never had a more perfect moment in her entire life.
Something nagged at her mind that that should worry her, but right now, she felt too good. She shifted closer, snuggled her nose in his armpit, breathing in the scent of him, and drifted off to sleep.
…
Nate lay on his back, staring up at the blue sky.
The taste of her filled him, and his cock twitched. Which was seriously impressive when he’d come so hard only five minutes ago.
He’d dropped the anchor; the boat wasn’t going anywhere, but he couldn’t afford to sleep. They might appear alone right now, but the waterways this close to the coast were busy.
Besides, even with the lotion, she would burn if she slept too long in the sun. Her skin was so pale. She was starting to fill out a little, losing the hollows and the sallow cast that newly released prisoners always had.
No, they needed to move, but he gave himself five minutes first, just to lay with her in his arms, the fresh sea air and sun on his face.
His cares dropped away.
But his five minutes went too fast. He put a hand to her shoulder and gave her a little shake. She burrowed her head deeper under his arm.
“Come on, baby, wake up.”
“Don’t want to.”
But a minute later, she pushed herself up. She leaned down and kissed him. “Thank you for this. You’re a nice man for a copper.”
“Thanks,” he said drily, but he could have done without the qualification.
He got to his feet and held out a hand to pull her up. He found his jeans and dragged them on, but didn’t bother with anything else. Regan put on panties and her tank top, then perched on the roof of the cabin. Nate got them both beers, and they sat and drank the icy cold liquid. It was a world away from London, the politics of his job, his dying father.
“What do we do next? Can we sleep out here?” she asked.
“We could, but we won’t. We’ll take her back to the mooring. I’ll cook you dinner, we’ll drink some wine, and maybe we can do a little dancing under the stars.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “Another thing off my list.”
She sipped her beer and gazed off into the horizon. Nate watched her face. She appeared softer than he’d ever seen her. He had to remind himself that she was an ex-con. That this wasn’t forever. But he already knew that there was no way he’d had enough. They’d started out with the intention of getting an inconvenient attraction out of their systems. Have so much sex that the urge just shriveled up and vanished. Maybe they just hadn’t spent long enough yet. They needed more time and more sex.
His cock twitched, totally in agreement.
He’d talk to her about it. Explain it didn’t have to mean anything if they kept seeing each other. But not right now. He didn’t want any talking interfering with his perfect day. Tomorrow would be soon enough. Right now, he was ready for more sex.
He checked in his pocket for a condom, then put down his empty beer bottle, took hers from her limp fingers, and tossed it in the trash can. He searched the water for company, but apart from a ship far away on the horizon, there was nothing.
She licked her lips, and a small smile played across her face. “What now?”
He didn’t answer, just rose to his feet and moved to stand in front of her. Slipping one hand under her top, he cupped her breast, then lowered his head and kissed her. Her legs parted, and he moved into the vee formed by her thighs.
“I need you,” he whispered, and knew that the words were true. Somehow, she had become important to him, and that had never been supposed to happen. He knew this interlude was transitory. That she was spending time with her family, and there was a good chance she would go back to her old ways.
But he’d worry about that another day. Right now, he needed to be deep inside her, the one place he could forget the outside world.
…
Regan was alone when she awoke the next morning.
Where was he?
The cabin was small and just about all bed. It had been cozy and the perfect excuse to spend the night wrapped around each other. Yet somehow, he had managed to slip away.
Yesterday had been wonderful.
As promised, he’d cooked their dinner in the tiny galley, and they ate at a small, pretty table Nate had set up on the deck. Afterward, they sipped cold white wine while perched on the cabin roof. When the sun went down, he’d put some music on, and as the stars came out, they’d danced on the deck. Or rather swayed to the music, wrapped close together. They’d danced for hours, allowing the slow buildup of desire, until they’d come together with a desperation she’d never felt before.
Why couldn’t life be like that always?
Why did you have to wake up to reality?
Or maybe rather why did reality have to be so…hard.
There were too many things in their way. His job, her family, her future, his friends…
It was a long list, and as far as she could see, insurmountable. But she couldn’t bear to end things yet, and if he wanted to…it would hurt. She still had hope that the attraction would wear itself out, and they could go back to being…if not enemies, then people with nothing in common, whose lives did not impinge on each other. Maybe if she never saw him, then she’d eventually forget that he made her feel like the most special woman in the whole world, forget that he’d given her the most perfect day of her life.
“Hey, sleepyhead, coffee.”
She was naked, and she hunted around for her dress. Once she found it under the sheets, she slipped it over her head. In the compact bathroom, she did what she needed and then climbed the ladder onto the deck. Nate was seated at the table. Mugs of steaming coffee and a plate of pastries in front of him. “From the local bakery,” he said.
She took the seat opposite him and picked up an almond croissant. It melted in her mouth. Sitting back, she sipped her coffee and watched his face. She couldn’t get enough of looking at him. She loved the hard line of his jaw—this morning he hadn’t shaved, and golden stubble shadowed his skin—and the deep blue of his eyes, the high cheekbones, his tousled dark blond hair. Just looking at him melted her insides.
She was in trouble. Maybe she should just cut her losses and run.
But she couldn’t. Not yet.
“You’re staring,” he murmured.
“You have sugar on your lips.” She leaned over and swiped her tongue over his mouth. “Mmm…sweet.”
He considered her for a moment, his head cocked, and her heart slowed. Was he going to say this was it? End on a good note? She wouldn’t beg. Hell, she wouldn’t even ask. It was probably for the best, anyway.
“I think we should keep seeing each other,” he said.
For a moment, the words didn’t make sense. Maybe because she’d been building herself up to hear him say it was over, because deep down, she knew that’s what he should be saying. That she was a deluded idiot if she thought she could shag him out of her system.
Shut up.
“Regan?”
The knuckles of the hand holding his mug were white. He was in no way sure of her answer, and it clearly mattered to him. He wanted to see her again.
“Look,” he said—obviously, she was taking too long to answer, “we’ve proved that we can keep our lives separate. There’s no reason for us to get in any deeper. What we have is working perfectly well.”
She knew there was something wrong with that argument. She also knew that he’d somehow changed everything with this trip, and he didn’t even know it yet. Changed the rules, the stakes. But she wasn’t going to investigate too closely.
“You have your life,” he said. “I have mine. They are totally separate, and that’s the way they should stay, but we see each other when it’s convenient.”
Maybe it was the use of the word “convenient” that caused the niggle of doubt. There was nothing convenient about the way she felt about Nate. In fact, it was really, really inconvenient.
“You’re not saying anything, Regan.”
“Yes,” she said.
He shook his head. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, I agree. We should keep on seeing each other. Just for sex.” And flying and swimming in the sea and dancing in the moonlight.
I am so fucked.
But even the knowledge that she was in deep shit couldn’t make her walk away. This was fantasyland. They’d be back in the city soon and everything would become real again and she’d be able to put things in perspective—put Nate in perspective, back in his just-for-sex box. Everything would be fine.
Perfect, in fact.
She clearly wasn’t a woman who could go without sex and not suffer. And at this point in her life—if ever—she didn’t want a relationship. This was the best solution.
And I’m a delusional idiot.
He put down his mug and held out his hand. “So it’s a deal. This time we don’t put an end date on the agreement, we just keep on until…”
Until what?
“…until one of us doesn’t want to anymore, I guess.”
She slid her palm into his. “It’s a deal.”