Chapter Four
“You get to spend your day off with me,” Ryker commented as they walked through the grocery store together. “Why is that a bad thing?”
Ella rolled her eyes and he grinned. She was still pissed at him, but he didn’t feel so bad about it anymore. After spending the entire night trying to track down a rival club member that supposedly knew about the guns, he wasn’t about to risk Ella going out and about with her friends. Ella had a heart of gold, and she couldn’t see the bad in people quite like he could.
“Are you still not talking to me?” He looped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “With the cold shoulder you’re giving me, I can get sour cream and potato chips, or maybe some bacon. I don’t have to hear you nag about how awful it is for my health.”
“I’m not saving you if you have a heart attack.”
“But you’d miss me too much if I died.”
“That’s debatable.”
“No.” He dropped a package of bacon in the cart and moved in behind her, wrapping his arms around her body. “You love me. You don’t want me dead.”
He slipped his hands beneath her shirt.
“Stop it.” She smacked at them. “We’re in public.”
“So?” He kissed the back of her neck. “I’m debating on fucking you in the potato chip aisle. Damn, I really want some chips.”
“Would you stop?”
“No.” He grabbed the front of the cart and led her around the corner to the chips. He got what he wanted and turned to see Ella was not amused. “I know how to put a smile on your face, and if you think I won’t do it right here, you’re wrong.”
He went to her and pulled her into his arms. Kissing her made the world feel right again. He brushed his lips against hers and closed his eyes. She could be mad at him, but it didn’t faze him. He loved her. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her either.
“I’ll make a compromise with you.” He brushed her hair from her face. “I’ll tag along with you and your friends. That way I know you’re safe and you can still have fun.”
“Chaperoning me like you’re my parent? No thanks.”
“Then let me teach you how to use a gun.”
“No thanks.”
“Then you’re stuck spending your day off with me.”
“We already established that.” She pushed the cart down the aisle, and Ryker watched her.
He didn’t know how to get her to realize she needed protection. It was a constant battle between them. While he tried to move the club to more legitimate business dealings, his world was still dark and gritty. To an extent, she knew how bad the criminals he dealt with could get, yet she still pretended to live in her own little world as if nothing could happen to her. Maybe it was because he did protect her. Being president required it. But people still knew her; they knew her association with him. Until he felt comfortable with the threat not being club related, then he would continue to be excessive and watch her back without apology.
They bought their groceries and took them out to her car. Ella didn’t talk to him the entire way home. He helped her carry the groceries in and put them away. She still didn’t speak.
“Okay.” Ryker leaned against the counter. “Tell me where you were going and what you were going to do.”
She frowned at him. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, it does.” He walked around the kitchen bar. “If you don’t want me there and you don’t want a weapon, then I can at least protect you from afar.”
“Protect me from what?”
“Ella, there are people murdering women in the city. Brutally murdering them and setting the scene up like it’s a suicide.”
“I’m sure there are many people being murdered in the city with all the gunshot wounds I see in a week.”
He huffed. “This guy is bad news.”
“Some say you’re bad news. So?”
He gripped her shoulders. “I’m serious, Ella. One bullet to your head and you’re dead.”
She pushed him away. “You can’t keep me from living my life because you’re paranoid. I’m fine. I haven’t had anyone threaten me or noticed anyone watching me. I know how to take care of myself and I’m smart about my surroundings. You act like I haven’t been a cop’s daughter for the past twenty-nine years of my life, or that I’m not a fucking biker’s girlfriend. Do you even remember anything I’ve gone through? Men broke into my apartment while I was in the shower. I fought them off.”
“They almost raped you.”
“They didn’t. Almost doesn’t count. Maybe doesn’t count. What if doesn’t count. I deserve to have a life of my own. I only get a few days off, and with everything that’s been going on all I do is catch up on sleep and housework. I want to have fun once in a while. Most boyfriends do not dictate to their girlfriend what they can and cannot do. Nor do they follow them around under the guise of protecting them from monsters in the city.”
Ryker blew out a breath. “I’m not most boyfriends.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not a helpless woman.”
His phone rang, and he answered it. “Tell me what you’ve got.”
“Nothing, really. It’s not Tido. The cops picked him up for possession a week ago. You know he doesn’t allow his second to do any of the big business deals with his contacts. They fuck up too much. The only other person that could be dealing these guns is Cramer, but he’s not an importer. I have no fucking clue where he’s getting them if it is him. With Razor and Tido out of the picture, there really isn’t another option. The usual informants aren’t talking either so it’s a dead end.” Superman huffed a breath. “I know you wanted definite answers, but right now, the threat doesn’t seem to be club related. Maybe it’s gang related?”
“I’ll check into it. Thanks.” He hung up and rubbed his forehead and focused on his conversation with Ella. “I never said that about you. I’ve been trying to get you to learn how to defend yourself properly since before we met.”
“I think I can do fine on my own.”
“Fine. Go.”
“What’s the point? It’s over now.”
“I doubt that.” Ryker went over to the door. “I’m not going to follow you. I’m not going to do anything. You are completely on your own.”
“You could say you’re sorry.”
Ryker pursed his lips. “Make it back in one piece and I will.”
She smiled at him before leaning in for a kiss. “I appreciate the protective streak you have for me, but I’m an adult, not a child. You didn’t listen to me when you stabbed yourself. Surely you can understand where I’m coming from.”
He did. “Noted.”
She reached around him and pulled his wallet from his pocket. After grabbing his credit card, she replaced it. “Thanks for the new purse.”
He shook his head as she walked out of the apartment. “I thought you didn’t like me buying you fancy things.”
“The purse is for you being an dickwad.” She smiled again before blowing a kiss at him.
Ryker watched her leave. His gut clenched at the thought of anything happening to her, but she claimed she could take care of herself. He’d never worried so much about someone’s wellbeing in his life. He cared about people, but Ella went beyond that. She was in a category on her own, and she fucking knew it.
****
Lunch turned into drinks, and Ella couldn’t believe how much spending time with friends did for her. They went shopping at the mall and she bought herself an expensive name-brand purse and nothing else. She’d been eying it for a long time and couldn’t bear the thought of paying so much money for it. But she splurged and only put half the total on Ryker’s card and paid cash for the other half. She enjoyed her day off and drove home with a big smile on her face.
When she opened the door to her apartment, Ryker was laughing along with another male she’d never met. She stopped in the foyer, taking in how the man sat on the sofa like he belonged and a woman sat beside him with a hunger in her eyes unlike anything Ella had seen. And she wasn’t staring at the stranger. She was staring at Ryker, who seemed to be laughing at something she’d said.
“Hello,” Ella said, by way of introduction.
Ryker turned. “Oh, hey.”
She swallowed. The woman looked over at her and frowned. Great. She really didn’t need to deal with some biker chick tonight.
“Ella, this is Rizzo and Beth. Rizzo is president of the New Orleans chapter.”
“Hi.” Ella stared at the woman who didn’t take her eyes off Ella. She didn’t know who the woman was, but she didn’t like her. Ella had Ryker’s credit card in her hand, and she handed it to him.
“You’re buying Gucci purses for her, Ryker?” Beth asked.
“Apparently.” He frowned at the bag. “Do I want to know how much or should I wait for the surprise when the statement comes in?”
“I only forced you to pay half. I paid the other half with my money.” She glanced over at the woman.
Beth licked her lips. “I never imagined you’d be that fancy or the type to need a man to buy you fancy things.”
“It’s just a purse.”
“I’m surprised it’s not a diamond ring.”
“Uh.” Ryker stood, obviously noting the tension between the two women. “We were going out to eat. Go put your things away and join us.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ella glanced down at her bag. “I wouldn’t want my fanciness to burden you.”
Ryker gripped her shoulders and leaned in to kiss her. “Stop it. You can go with us.”
“I’d rather not.”
Ryker tilted his head, frustrated.
The other man in the room chuckled. “I don’t know, Ella. You and Beth sure as hell are entertaining me. It’d be a shame to quit now.”
“Who the fuck is he?” Ella glanced over Ryker’s shoulder.
“Ella, they’re my friends.” Ryker propped his hand on his hip. “Please.”
“No, thanks.” She moved away from him. “Have fun.”
She carried her bag to the bedroom and took it out of the package. The store had wrapped it nicely for her. It was rare that she ever bought anything so extravagant, but she could afford one special treat. She hadn’t bought anything else while she went shopping with her friends. She shouldn’t feel bad about it.
She sat it on the dresser and decided to change. A pair of stretchy shorts and an oversized tank top that she normally worked out in sounded nice. Ella pulled her hair back and crawled onto her bed.
“Are you still in a pissy mood?” Ryker came into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.
“Depends. Is your girlfriend gone?”
He sighed. “Beth is not my girlfriend.”
“Oh, please. You’ve been all up inside that.”
He blinked a few times. “Jealousy is really an issue today, isn’t it?”
“Who is jealous?” She frowned. “I don’t like that trash in my home.”
“Ella,” he started, then stopped when she narrowed her eyes at him. “Nothing has happened if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“You’ve fucked her. It’s written all over her face.”
“Yeah, I have. Before you were ever in the picture.”
“She still wants you.”
“I know.”
She waited a beat. “And you want her.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. You can’t hide that look on your face.”
“I want you.”
Ella sat up. “I don’t think you do. Maybe as some kind of trophy, but to soothe the club part of your life, I don’t think so. I think you want a biker chick that will do whatever the hell you command her to do. Fuck you in some club orgy. Suck your dick while you smoke with your friends. Listen to you when you say she can’t go out with her friends. Isn’t that what the club life is about for women?”
He grinned. “Oh, Ella. One of these days you’re going to realize that this back-and-forth thing we do is what I really like.”
“You’re deflecting. Admit it. You want her too.”
“No.” He moved closer to her. “You are the one I want. Your bitchy, bad attitude and all. Right here.” He held his hand out, looking her up and down. “This is what I want.”
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “And for the record, she offered and I turned her down. Every. Fucking. Time.”
“Am I supposed to applaud you?”
He moved in behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “Is it your time of the month?”
It was, but she didn’t tell him that. Instead, she snarled at him and pushed him away. “No.”
He stood. “I love you. I’m going to have dinner with my friends, and I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Wait.”
He turned toward her.
“Do you not see anything wrong with this? You brought a skanky woman into my house who wants to fuck you the moment I look away, and now you know it pisses me off, but you’re going to dinner with them anyway?” She shook her head. “And you wonder why I keep bringing up you screwing around on me?”
He licked his lips. “The last person I had sex with was you. The only woman I want to have sex with is you. I’m not screwing around. I haven’t fucked anyone but you the entire time we’ve been together. If you want a rundown of my sexual history with all my sexual partners then that will have to wait until I get back. I’m starving, and I’d really like something to eat.”
He didn’t get it. Or maybe he didn’t care. She thought about the way Beth looked at him. There was unfinished business there. It wasn’t a look of admiration; it was a wolf in sheep’s clothing trying to determine when to strike.
“I’m sorry about the way I handled things today,” Ryker added.
She looked away. After a few moments, Ryker turned to leave. She watched him go. He could go have dinner with his friends and she wasn’t even supposed to blink an eye. Especially when that woman would fuck him in a heartbeat. Ella shook her head. She didn’t know the woman, but she was trouble. If she’d been a more jealous person, she would have went to dinner with them.
Instead, she sulked in her room. Today simply wasn’t her day. She clutched the pillow tight and stared out the window. From her vantage point, she could see Ryker mounting his bike. She could see the other woman brushing up against him. Ella stood and walked over to the window, peering through the shades. Ryker wasn’t too quick to push her away either. She watched as the woman’s hand slid along his thigh. She leaned in to whisper something in his ear as he started the engine. Then her lips pressed against his as her fingers slid through his hair.
Ella counted a whole ten seconds before Ryker pulled away. He said something to the woman and she moved away from him, getting on the back of the other man’s motorcycle. Ella stepped away from the window and closed her eyes. There were some things a woman simply knew. She saw it on his face that he wanted that woman. She didn’t know their history, and she didn’t really care. But he wanted her.
Moving to the closet, Ella grabbed her duffel bag. Maybe some distance would do them some good. He could get whatever that was out of his system, and she could get him and her father off her mind.
She packed a few days’ worth of clothing and grabbed all her necessities. The hospital had on-call rooms for the doctors who needed to spend the night. Staying there for a while wouldn’t be that big of a deal. She grabbed her keys and purse, heading out the door.
****
After dinner, Ryker went to the club. There were plenty of men around to entertain her, but Beth was determined to get him in her bed that night. He dropped his head back as she walked over to him. How many times did he have to say no? She straddled his lap and he sat up. Her short skirt had ridden up her thighs, giving him a good view of her bare pussy.
She leaned forward, pressing her breasts against his chest. “You want me, Ryker. Stop denying yourself and take me.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want you.”
She reached down to cup him. “Your cock does.”
He was semihard and a complete wreck. “I have a girlfriend.”
“And who is going to tell her?”
She ground herself against him, brushing her breasts against his face. It was so easy to get lost in her. When they had been together, he’d been in a bad place. Right now, it wasn’t much different. Ella bitching and moaning about everything wore on him. He couldn’t please her with anything yet Beth was so easy to please. She wanted to please him, and the offer was tempting.
He groaned and gripped her hips, stopping her. “I’m not choosing you over her. She’s the one I want.”
“Where is she?” Beth looked around. “This is your life, Ryker. You live by the brotherhood. She’s not one of us and she never will be. I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten herself shot.” She leaned forward and nipped at his lip. “You can play house with her, but I’m the one that will keep your dick hard.”
Her tongue slipped inside his mouth as she kissed him. What the hell was he doing? If she were any other woman, she’d be banned from the club. He pulled back and stared into her eyes. He didn’t say anything when her hands went to his pants. His mind was in a fucked-up place and the late nights didn’t help matters.
“Stop.” He grabbed her hands and pushed them away from him. “You of all people know that I deserve more respect than what you’re showing me. I’m not going to tell you again. My answer is no.”
She blinked a few times. He waited while she stood and glanced around. Having only one woman was an issue for many of his club members, and he’d let things with Beth get too far. He needed to go home. He needed to sink into Ella and get his head on straight again.
“I’m going home to my girlfriend.” He glanced over at Rizzo. “You need to keep yours in check.”
He went out to his bike and mounted it. He started it with ease and backed out of his spot. He could still smell Beth’s perfume on him, surrounding him. He had no idea how to explain that to Ella.
He rode home and parked in one of the apartment’s designated parking spots. Ella’s car was gone, and instantly his brow furrowed. He grabbed his cell from his pocket and dialed her.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?”
“I’ve decided to stay somewhere else for a few days.”
“What? Why?”
“I watched her kiss you.”
He blew out a breath. “Ella—”
“No. Stop. I don’t care about whatever excuse is going to come out of your mouth.”
He blew out a harsh breath. “You’re overreacting.”
“I don’t know. You say you love me, but it’s really difficult for me to believe. You try to control me yet you’re free to do whatever the hell you want. Another woman kissed you for a full ten seconds before you stopped her. You knew how I felt about the situation, but you went out with her anyway. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
She hung up, and he shoved his phone into his pocket. He wanted her. He didn’t know why he had to keep telling everyone that, but he fucking wanted her. Ryker climbed off his bike and went upstairs to their apartment. He didn’t think Beth would be a problem again. He’d told her what he wanted, and that didn’t change with the circumstances.
Ryker showered and decided to call Ella again. Not knowing where she was agitated him, but he was trying to slowly ease back on his protectiveness. She’d been pissed at him over the whole lunch-with-friends thing, and she’d gotten even more pissy when she’d seen Beth. He swallowed hard as he thought about her claims. If Ella weren’t in the picture, he knew he would have let Beth entertain him for her stay. The thought scared him a little, even though he didn’t want to admit it.
She answered the phone on the third ring. “Hello?”
“I do love you. That’s never been in question. And yes, she kissed me. She climbed onto my lap and ground her pussy against me. I got hard too. She tried to tell me how much I wanted her and that you didn’t have to know.” Ryker ran his hand through his wet hair. “Ella, I know how it looks, but I don’t want that. I want you. I’m sorry for today. I should have handled it better.”
“Then why did you let her kiss you?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think about it. She just walked over to me and shoved her tongue in my mouth. It took me a minute to realize what was happening. I didn’t kiss her back though.”
“She clearly didn’t get the message if she ground her pussy against you. Did you touch her?”
“No.” He blinked a few times. “I handled it. She’s not going to bother anyone again.”
“Did you kill her?”
“What?” He frowned. “No. I told her that she of all people knew to respect me and my wishes. I also told Rizzo to keep her in line.”
She didn’t say anything, and he grew antsy on the line.
“The reason people keep questioning you is because nobody believes that you and I are it. You’ve gone from woman to woman since you lost your virginity. You don’t know how to be in a relationship and people—your club—keep trying to get you to give it up. You say you want to be with me, but you live two different lives. I’m not real to your friends, and because of it, they’re not ever going to accept that you want to be with me.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, propping his elbows on his thighs. “Inviting you into the club is a dangerous thing. I don’t want you part of it.”
“I don’t want to be part of your club. But our lives have to mesh better. We can’t keep going on like this. I don’t want to go on like this.”
He closed his eyes. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything you want.”
“You could start by not getting hard for another woman. That would probably be a great start.”
When he sat up, he looked into the closet and saw some of her things were gone. She didn’t own many regular clothes since she wore scrubs most days. She wore his clothes most other times. Ryker glanced around the bedroom. He still smelled her perfume. He closed his eyes and breathed in the soft scent. His arms ached to hold her. His chest ached knowing that he couldn’t.
“Come home.” His voice was gravelly and with emotion. “Please.”
“I need time away. I’ll call you later.”
He tossed his phone aside. So many doubts ran through his head. Ella still felt like a fantasy. She didn’t belong with him, and he feared that he made a mistake by letting things go too far. He didn’t deserve her. He knew it in the dark depths of his soul. Standing, he pulled the towel off and searched through the dresser for some clothes.
Being with someone like Beth made sense. She wanted to be part of the life. She wanted to please him. Maybe that was the real problem. He was used to women pleasing him, and with Ella, he tried his damnedest to please her—and he wasn’t good at it. He ran a hand over his face. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get to a point where the questions didn’t arise. He’d always wonder if he and Ella belonged together. He’d always question how she fit in with his club.
He grabbed his phone and headed for the door. Going to the club seemed like a good idea. But instead, he wanted to ride. He mounted the bike and started the engine. There was something about the wind in his face and the power of the engine beneath him that calmed him down. He rode around town for an hour and a half before finally pulling into the club. Without Ella at home, he didn’t have much reason to be there and his brothers would know it. They would know she’d left him and then the bullshit would start all over again.
Ryker walked into the club and bypassed the party scene. Beth glanced over at him from Rizzo’s lap. He didn’t say anything to anyone as he went to the back to find a room. His head was in a fucked-up place, and he wanted the day to be over.
****
The on-call room was not an ideal living space for two days and nights. While it helped her with her work, it wrecked havoc on her physically. Ella got up and took a shower in the locker room. She hadn’t slept well and what little sleep she had gotten wasn’t enough for her twelve-hour shift. Ryker had called her phone throughout the night and she’d ignored it. He’d texted her numerous times, and she ignored those messages too. Her life was messed up. Her father was pissed at her for the whole situation with Ryker’s elbow making contact with her nose, and she was pissed at Ryker for his controlling and inconsiderate ways. Relationships were too much work, and she didn’t have time for it.
Ella didn’t take a break the entire time she worked until her boss forced her to sit down for thirty minutes. She yawned and thought about how great her bed sounded. It was stupid that she had to leave her own place because of Ryker. But she knew better than to think that Ryker would actually respect her requests for distance. Although he was probably staying at the club anyway.
After pulling out her phone, she stared at the numerous calls missed and text messages sent. Ryker repeatedly told her that he was sorry. She didn’t know why he thought apologizing would make everything better. She didn’t feel better.
“You look like you’re going to fall over.” Derek sat down next to her in the waiting area’s plastic chairs. “Go home.”
“I can’t.” She shook her head.
“Boyfriend problems?”
She snorted. “Yeah.”
“He’s an idiot.”
“I agree.” She glanced over at Derek. Ever since he’d started working in the ER, they clicked. He knew what he was doing even though he was a new nurse. He was one of the few she trusted to jump in when she needed him. He was also great with patients.
“Where are you staying?” Derek asked, glancing down at his watch.
“Here.” She yawned. “I’m fine. Really.”
“No, you’re not.” Derek reached over and squeezed her hand. “If you want to keep your relationship going, don’t stay mad at him for too long. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It only makes the head more confused.”
He stood and left her sitting with her phone in her hand. Ryker texted her, and she decided to respond. Clicking his number, she waited for him to answer.
“Hey,” he said almost immediately.
“Hey.” She didn’t know what to say. She was still mad, and nothing anyone could say would really fix it. “We need to talk about our relationship.”
“Okay. When and where?”
“I’m getting off work in a few minutes.”
“You want me to come pick you up?”
“Yeah.” She glanced up at the hustle and bustle of the emergency room. “Meet me under the pavilion.”
After they disconnected, Ella went to the on-call room to get her stuff. The fatigue that overwhelmed her had her nearly dragging all the way back to ER. Her boss kept his eyes on her as she stood at triage waiting for her shift to end.
“Go home, Hawkins.”
She nodded. “I’m going.”
“You okay?” He signed some papers and handed them to the nurse before giving her his attention. “You’ve been going nonstop.”
Ella nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
“You got a ride? I don’t think you should drive.”
“Yeah. My boyfriend is coming to pick me up.”
He seemed satisfied with that. When Ella’s shift ended, she went outside to find Ryker standing there. He looked about as shitty as she felt. Ella pulled out her keys.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I’m tired. I didn’t sleep much last night and I’ve worked twelve hours.”
Ryker reached for her bag and keys. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
She led him to her car and got in the passenger’s side. She was out by the time he started the engine. The next time she woke, Ryker was undoing her seatbelt. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and opened the door. She got out and went to the apartment. Ryker unlocked the door and she stepped in, happy to be back in her own space again.
“Did you fuck her?” Ella asked.
“No.”
“I don’t think I understand why it is okay for you to do what you want but you claim I can’t for my protection. Please explain that to me. I’m supposed to be protected and locked inside my own home while you get to go out and do whatever you want with whomever you want. I told you how I felt about her and you left me to go out with them anyway. And then she kissed you. You didn’t push her away. She ground her pussy against you and you got hard. How am I supposed to take that, Ryker?”
Ella went to the couch and pulled the blanket around her.
Ryker sat in the recliner. “I admitted I could have handled that better. I also said I’m sorry and I am.”
“And you think that makes it okay? You do something stupid and sorry makes it okay?”
“What do you want me to do?”
She shook her head. “Keep your dick in your pants? Is that so difficult?”
It wasn’t so much that Beth liked him that she was upset about. Women stared at him all the time. For the most part, he ignored them. He did like the attention though. Past or no past, he shouldn’t have brought Beth into their home. He didn’t get that either.
“I didn’t fuck her.”
“You did at some point.” She met his gaze. “She clearly thought that you would again. And you didn’t even have enough respect for me to keep that bullshit out of my house. Do you honestly think I want you to parade that crap around?”
Ryker rubbed his hand over his face. “No. And this very reason is one of the problems I have with your request to be part of the club. There are women there that I’ve fucked. I told you I’d give you my sexual history if you wanted it, but I was far from a virgin when we got together. I haven’t slept with anyone but you since. You just see things differently than I do. Women are petty. They try to start shit with one another and they usually cause the biggest fuss when a guy is involved. The higher the status, the more problems they cause. Women do things, Ella. I don’t think anything of it. I get how it looks, but I really thought, I don’t know, that you knew me better than that.”
“Has this happened before?” The thought of him entertaining those women made her want to puke.
He swallowed hard. “Not exactly, no.”
“What exactly has happened then?”
Dropping his head back, he sat there a moment before he answered. “Women flirt. They offer sexual favors. Most of the time it’s just fun. There’s no intentions to carry out anything behind it. Beth took things too far because we do have a history. She and Rizzo only came to our house because I really did consider them my friends. I should have expected something from her, but I didn’t. I just fucking messed up, Ella. I took care of it though.”
“I don’t know what you expect of me, Ryker.” Tears filled her eyes. “I thought things between us were one way, but now they’re obviously not. I don’t really think you’d cheat on me, but at the same time I’m still hurt by what you do allow.”
She laid back on the sofa and covered her eyes with her arm. Ryker got up and walked over to her. Leaning down, he tried to kiss her, but she stopped him. Ella didn’t know what his plans were but she didn’t want to deal with it tonight.
“I love you.” Ryker propped himself over her with one hand on the arm of the couch and the other on the back. “I’m in love with you. I thought you were just bitching at me for that morning so I didn’t think anything about going out to eat with people I considered my friends. If I knew it was this big if an issue, I would have stayed at home.”
Ella sniffled and covered her eyes with her hand. Ryker’s demeanor immediately changed. Instead of saying anything, he scooped her into his arms and sat with her on his lap. She hated crying. Didn’t even know why tears flowed down her cheeks. All the stuff that happened played over and over in her mind. It hurt even more to think that he didn’t seem to care about her feelings like she thought he should.
“I’m sorry.” He swiped his fingers beneath her eyes. “I don’t want you to hurt. Ever.”
She didn’t say anything. Part of her missed his comfort. The other part was confused about everything.
“Are we okay?” He pressed his lips to her cheek.
“I don’t know.” She snuggled against him. “Ask me again in the morning.”
He kissed her cheek before standing with her in his arms. He carried her down the hall to their bedroom and laid her on their bed.
“Sit up and take your scrubs off.”
Ella sat up and worked on taking her clothes off while Ryker grabbed a t-shirt of his from the closet. She didn’t want to admit how comfortable it was being in her own environment. After pulling the t-shirt on, she moved back to the bed and climbed in, rolling to her side. The comfort was an instant relief. She pulled the blankets up to her neck and fell asleep before Ryker joined her.
*****
Morning came early, and Ella wasn’t ready to get out of bed. Ryker lay next to her, and she took a moment to watch him sleep. She missed him. She was pissed but missed pulling him close and letting him wrap his arms around her. She blew out a breath and moved closer to him, laying her head on his chest and her leg over his leg.
Ryker stirred, kissing her forehead before shifting so he could wrap his arms around her. Cuddling up to him felt so much better than lying alone in an empty on-call room.
“I forgive you.” She rested her chin on his chest. “But don’t do it again.”
He rolled her to her back, leaning down to kiss her. “I love you, Ella.”
“I love you too.”
When she decided to get up, she went to the bathroom first. She’d slept in her makeup the night before and had raccoon eyes from her smeared eyeliner and mascara. She took the time to wash her face and get her skin in order again before leaving to find something to eat.
Ryker sat on the end of the bed with his phone to his ear. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll be there in a minute.” He hung up and glanced over his shoulder at her. “What time are you working today?”
“I have to be there for the night shift. Seven to seven.”
He tossed his phone to the bed beside him. “I need to go get my bike.”
She pulled open a drawer and found a pair of shorts. “I’ll take you.”
After pulling them on, she bent to search through her scrubs for her phone and her ID badge.
Ryker stood and held his hand out to her. “I can have someone else take me. You look tired.”
“I’m always tired.” She shook her head. “Let me find my keys and wallet.”
He looped his arms around her waist. “You can crawl back in that bed and sleep.”
She couldn’t. Not without him there. “I’m fine. Really. I need to do laundry. I also need to stop by the store and pick up some things we’re out of.”
He propped his hands on his hips. Ella took in his toned body, the way his muscles defined him. Nudity was never an issue with him. He wasn’t embarrassed or modest in any way. He’d live nude if he could. His dark hair was five weeks past the need for a hair cut and a little too long for her liking. Dark scruff had grown on his cheeks, making him deliciously sexy and completely badass at the same time.
“I’ve got to handle some things at the club and then I’m coming back to spend the rest of the day with you.” His gaze pierced hers. “In bed.”
She scoffed, and he took a step toward her. His fingers lingered along her cheek as he touched her face.
He leaned in to kiss her. “We will.”
“I think sex is the last thing either one of us should focus on right now.”
“I didn’t say anything about sex.” He nibbled along her lower lip. “But if that’s what the lady wants…”
“The lady wants a week off in the Bahamas sipping fruity drinks on the beach.”
He kissed her, cupping her head so that he had perfect access to her mouth. She loved the way he tasted. It’d been too long since he’d kissed her properly.
“Maybe next summer.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I was afraid you’d say that.”
He kissed her cheek, resting his hands on her hips. “Let’s get some food and then we can go to the hospital. The quicker I get my shit done, the quicker I can come back and surround myself with you.”
She leaned back to look at him. “Is she going to be there?”
“They’re staying at the club.”
“Did you stay at the club?”
“Yes.”
She pulled away. “Do you at least see why that is a problem for me?”
He didn’t say anything immediately and she moved past him, heading down the hall to the kitchen. She decided to fix herself some oatmeal and heated it up in the microwave.
Ryker followed her and leaned against the kitchen counter. “I understand you don’t want me around her. But you also have to understand that she is part of the club as Rizzo’s girl.”
“I’m your fucking girl, right?” She turned toward him. “You’re the president of the Atlanta chapter. They are on your turf. Don’t I outrank her? You definitely outrank him.”
He chewed on his lower lip. When he didn’t say anything, she continued. “What are the rules here, Ryker? Do they only apply to people that are part of the club? Am I always going to be considered an outsider?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Send her packing.”
“No.”
The microwave beeped, and she yanked the door open. “What’s it going to take to get you to treat me like I matter to you?”
“I do treat you like you matter.”
“Oh, yeah?” She threw her bowl onto the countertop. “If the tables were turned, Beth was your bitch, and I was wanting your affection, how the fuck would that end?”
“Not well. Beth marks her territory.”
She shook her head. “I’m not real. I’m just something to entertain you for a while.”
He pressed his fingers into his eyes. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Of course not.”
“Are you going to keep doing this? Picking fights? We made up last night.” He went to the fridge and bent to look in it.
Ella pushed the door closed and stared at him. “Don’t.”
He sighed. “There has to be some compromise.”
“Do whatever you what. You will anyway so why bother saying anything about it?” Ella moved around him. She had too much crap to do instead of messing with him. She went to get her purse and keys. “I’ve got to go. Find someone else to take you to the hospital.”
She needed to find a way to prove she was top dog. After visiting the store and doing laundry, she would work on that problem and hopefully come up with the perfect solution.
****
When Ryker entered the club, he found Beth sitting on one of the sofas while the party was in full swing. Her sour expression drifted away when she looked up at him. From what he gathered, she was all too happy to please him. To make up for coming on to him.
“Ryker?” Beth stood and approached him. “I think we need to talk.”
“I don’t.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you. You just seem so unhappy with her. I want to see you smile. You deserve some happiness after all you’ve been through.”
“And you can give me that?” Ryker questioned. “Clearly you’ve forgotten how rank works around here. We’re not in New Orleans. I’m not some little prize for you to win. Ella is the one that makes me happy. And contrary to your opinion, she’s the one that keeps my dick hard. Not you.”
Beth pursed her lips with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Ella walked into the club, and Ryker sighed. There was no doubt in his mind that the two women would have more than words. Ella wasn’t violent, but he didn’t really put anything past either one of the women.
“Am I a little late to the party?”
Trying to reason with her was not a good idea. Ella had an agenda: Ryker simply needed to figure out what it was.
“Do you want a lap dance?” she asked him.
Dressed in a popular band t-shirt of his and a black skater-style skirt with combat boots on her feet, Ella stood before him with so much makeup on he barely recognized her. He blinked, assuming that he was hallucinating.
“What?” He glanced behind him to see both Vampire and Superman staring at them.
She folded her arms over her chest. “I’ve never been the party girl, but I do know how to have fun.”
He bit his lip trying to figure out what was going on. Ella reached for his crotch and cupped his cock. Groaning, he reached out to brush a strand of hair from her cheek.
“I think sometimes you see me like they do. That I’m too fancy for you.”
Her hand dipped into his pants and squeezed his bare cock. Ryker groaned again, trying to force his mind to focus on the conversation instead of the stimulation.
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
“What got you hard?” She stopped stroking him and stared into his eyes.
“Your hand is on my dick.”
Ella nodded toward Beth. “She’s right over there if you want her. I’m not going to stand in your way.”
He shook his head. “I don’t need your permission to cheat on you. I don’t want her.”
“Yeah?” She stepped back, heading toward a narrowed-eyed Beth. “You want him, Beth? I watched you shove your tongue into his mouth outside our apartment. I also heard that you felt the need to grind your pussy against him while telling him that I didn’t need to know about the two of you fucking.”
She’d lost her mind. There had been cat fights between the women at the club before. Some were entertaining and some were petty. He didn’t want Ella to be in the middle of one. He glanced over at Beth and watched as the biker bitch contemplated her response.
“Go on.” Ella grabbed Beth’s arm and pulled her up from the seat before pushing her toward Ryker. “Suck his dick. He likes a lot of tongue, but then again you should already know that.”
Ryker felt a burst of anger flood through him. “What the fuck are you doing, Ella?”
“Have your fun.” Ella walked over to the bar and grabbed a beer before returning back to them. She sipped from the bottle and met Beth’s gaze. “Go on. Crawl all over him like the desperate, needy bitch you are.”
Ryker vaguely felt Beth’s fingers brush along his arm. He turned and Rizzo was eying him seconds before he focused his attention to Ella. Ryker had had enough. He went to Ella, grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the seating area. He clutched the back of her head and crashed his lips against hers. The world seemed to fade away as he held her against him. He didn’t fucking care if anyone watched. The room had turned into one big orgy anyway with sex and drugs being passed around. Ryker lifted Ella onto the bar top, parting her legs for his hips.
Ryker worked his fly open with one hand and shoved his pants down enough to free his cock. She clutched at his shoulders as he pushed deep inside her and leaned forward to kiss her mouth. She was his. That was never debatable. He didn’t want anyone else.
Her tight pussy wrapped around him, sucking him into her body where he fit perfectly. He didn’t care about all the bullshit that had gone on between them. He wanted Ella and he wanted only her. The music around them pulsed hard and dirty while he fucked her in the room. He withdrew and shoved his cock deeper, straining to keep his control in check. He needed her like he needed his next breath. Nothing else mattered.
Her breasts bounced with the forced of his hips, and he lifted one hand to squeeze them. Ella coming to the club was dangerous and they both knew it, but he was so fucking glad she had. He glanced to the side and saw Beth watching them. Ryker closed his eyes and scraped his teeth along Ella’s neck, licking and sucking her soft skin. He didn’t need anyone else to please him. Ella was everything he wanted.
When he came, the world spun. His legs quivered as he pushed his cock into her, hot cum erupting from it with each stroke. She arched against him, crying out as her orgasm hit. The music still blasted in his ears while the audience watching them clapped. He pulled her to the edge and looped his arms underneath her ass. He rested his forehead against her breasts, taking a moment to breathe her in. He didn’t know what the fuck had gotten into her. Why the hell would she come to the club to fuck him in front of all his brothers?
She combed her fingers through his hair, kissing the side of his head. He could live the rest of his life buried inside her.
“We need to talk about this.” His voice sounded raspy to his own ears, barely audible over the music.
“Talk’s cheap.”
He pulled her away from the bar top, making sure her ass stayed covered. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Superman staring at him. His dick was out and his hand was wrapped around it, stroking while a cigarette hung from his lips. He wanted to be furious that his Ella had gained that kind of reaction, but instead he felt an overwhelming sense of pride. She was his, and nobody was going to change that. Ryker carried her out of the room and down the hall. Once he found an empty bed, he dropped her on it and climbed in beside her.
“What the hell was that about?” The silence the room offered nearly made his head buzz.
“I was staking my claim.” She smoothed her hand along his stomach. “I wanted to be mad at you.” She rolled to her back. “I wanted to hate you for wanting her.”
He propped his head up on his hand, lying on his side. “So you have sex with me in front of everyone?”
Ella laughed. “Maybe I’m yours, but I had to prove you’re mine.” She turned toward him, pulling her shirt over her head. “Besides, I thought about it and determined you don’t have a reason for wanting another woman. You’ve got a perfect one right here.”
He smiled. “That I do.”
He cupped the side of her face as he leaned in to kiss her. His Ella. He groaned and pushed her to her back, propping himself up over her. He groaned as he pushed inside her again. Rocking her into her slowly, he reached for her arms, pushing them over her head.
Ryker wrapped his lips around one of her stiff nipples as he curled his fingers with hers. He teased the tip with his tongue, drawing a moan from her delectable lips. Her heels dug into his back as he continued to take it slow, drawing their pleasure out.
“I’m the top biker bitch.” Ella squeezed his hands. “You want me and lucky for you, I want you back.”
He lifted his head with a grin. “Is that right?”
“For now.”
He laughed. Withdrawing from her warm body, Ryker shoved back in again, taking his time. He loved the little gasps Ella made when he filled her, the need she had for him growing stronger. The makeup she’d put on had smeared down her face, but she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“Come for me,” he whispered against her lips. “Suck my cock with that hot pussy of yours.”
He reached between them to stroke her clit. Ella’s head dropped back as she arched off the mattress, her pussy contracting around him as he shoved in deep. He loved making her come. Love the soft gasp she made right before her pleasure took her. He loved the way she felt around him when he buried his cock to the hit. He fucking loved how she looked up at him, her eyes bleary from pleasure, smiling as she watched him he took his own.
His hot release took all his energy. He collapsed in her arms, unable to extract himself from her. He didn’t want to let her go. He wanted to keep her like this for the rest of their lives.
“You’re amazing,” she whispered.
He kissed her cheek. “Remember that when I’m pissing you off the next time.”
He rolled to his back, taking her with him. She looked down at him as she straddled his thighs, his cock still buried deep inside her.
“Make me a promise.”
He blew out a breath. “What?”
“The other night I told you about my dream. Promise me you’ll let me live out my fantasy. I want you to fuck me on your motorcycle.”
“I’ve created a monster.”
“Promise me.”
“Right now?” He rubbed his eyes.
“Later. But promise me right now you will.” She pressed soft kisses along his chest, taking the time to tease his flat nipples with her tongue.
He lay back with his arm thrown over his eyes. “I promise. We can do anything you want.”
She smiled with her lips against his stomach. “Would you ever say that to another woman?”
“Not a fucking chance.”
She continued moving lower, dipping her tongue into his navel before nuzzling him. “So I’d be your first fuck on a motorcycle?”
He smiled. “Yep. And it should be a testament as to how much I love you.”
She straddled his hips. “What about the handcuffs?”
“You at my mercy sounds like a fucking good idea. Can I gag you too? Especially after all the bullshit between us for the past few days.”
“You think you’re funny?” She pinned him down. “You’re at my mercy now, big tough motorcycle man. I’d watch it if I were you.”
Ryker smiled. He loved her. What the fuck could he do?