Chapter Thirty

Eli

The blue and white teapot shatters on the carpet, shattering the silence in the room with it. The crash is followed by a thud as Quinn tumbles to the floor. Still, I can't bring myself to say a word.

I can only stare at the porcelain shards, at Quinn, who was sleeping by my side just minutes ago, now dressed in a blue hooded sweater and jeans. Wide amber eyes gaze up at me from her pale face. Her hand trembles atop one of the larger teapot fragments.

What is she doing?

I'm about to offer her my hand, but Janice steps forward.

"I can't believe it." I hear the disbelief and disappointment in her voice. "You're stealing Mrs. Strauss's teapots?"

I glance at the toy chest and notice for the first time that there are two more teapots inside. They're missing from the shelf.

Is Quinn trying to steal them?

"I knew you were acting suspicious. I saw you leave Mr. Strauss's office earlier."

My eyebrows arch. She was in my office?

"And then you went towards the left wing. I just had a bad feeling about it, so I woke up Mr. Strauss. I thought you were going to do something stupid. But stealing?"

Quinn's face falls. Her fingers tighten around the shard beneath her palm.

Why isn't she saying anything? Why isn't she arguing with Janice?

"What is going on with you, Quinn?" Janice's voice softens. "If you're in trouble, we can help you. We - "

"You can't help me!" Quinn finally speaks.

The resentment in her voice makes Janice step back.

I glance at her. "Janice, leave us alone."

She doesn't move. She's looking at Quinn like she's never seen her before.

"Janice."

The other woman nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as we're alone, I kneel in front of Quinn.

"What do you mean, Quinn? What's happening?"

She doesn't answer or look at me. She turns her head away as she slips her hands inside the front pockets of her sweater.

I cock my head to one side in hopes of seeing her face. "I know you. You wouldn't steal. You - "

"You don't know me," she snaps at me as she lifts her head. "You didn't know me back then at the library, and you don't know me now. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"I know you're a mother," I tell her. "You're a good mother."

"What do you know? You weren't around for the past ten years. You didn't see me fall apart. You have no idea of the hell I've been through."

No. I have no idea, nor did I have any idea she was still suffering. Has she been pretending all this time? Have I just been blind?

"I know it must have been hard..."

"Hard?" Quinn laughs. "Hard doesn't come close, Eli."

"Yet you survived. You're here now, and I may not know what you've been through, but I can see how much you love Clive and how good you are to Marianne and - "

"Please," she cuts me off as she looks away. "Let's not talk about the kids."

"I'm just saying I know you wouldn't do anything to let them down. That's why I know you wouldn't steal."

"But I am stealing." She stands up and points to the toy chest. "The evidence is clear. Janice caught me in the act."

I get up as well. "Janice saw you trying to put away the teapots. They're still here, so you - "

"I was trying to steal them!" she shouts as she throws her arms to her sides.

I take a deep breath as I force myself to calm down. "Then there must be a reason."

"Oh, you think I have a good reason. You think I'm so noble, don't you?"

"Quinn..."

"You want a reason? I'll give you one. I was taking all these teapots so I could sell them and never see them again. You know why? Because I hate them. I fucking hate them!"

She turns to the shelf with shoulders heaving.

"Each time I see them, I remember her, your perfect wife who used to sleep in this room. You said you were going to move on, but she's still here. I'll forever be in her shadow."

I frown. "That's not true."

"It is true. I may be living in this house now, but I'm not your wife. I get to have your body, but not your heart, because that still fucking belongs to her. You belong to her, Eli. Not to me." Quinn touches her forehead. "Damn, you don't even love me."

"That's not - "

"True?" she finishes my sentence. "But you've never said it once, have you?"

I fall silent.

She shakes her head. "You don't love me. You never even loved her. You just wanted to protect her like some fragile doll, but she broke anyway so you couldn't forgive yourself and so you ran away from your own daughter like some coward and - "

"That's enough." My jaw clenches.

"What? Can't handle the truth?" Quinn sneers. "Well, that's the truth. And this is the true me, spiteful and selfish and greedy."

"And stupider than I thought," I say. "Did you think getting rid of these teapots would make me say that I love you?"

Quinn falls silent. Then her lips curve into a grin.

"I am a fool, aren't I?"

Her admission only adds to my disappointment. It stings.

Quinn stands right in front of me with her hands in her pockets. Tears brim in her eyes.

"You know my biggest mistake, Eli? Falling in love with you."

A lump forms in my throat.

"I wish I'd never met you."

She walks past me. I stand still, frozen from her words, which cause me more pain than I expected.

"By the way," she adds. "Do me a favor and don't come after me anymore. I'm sick and tired of you finding me and running after me."

The door opens, then slams shut. I hear her footsteps fade down the hall.

And once again, I'm left in Meredith's room with only the fragments of a relic from the past feeling lost.