Ten minutes later, she set down the first article on the coffee table.

“He drowned?” Angel whispered.

“Danny claims he was teaching him to swim. Micah was five…he hated the water. Danny and I, we were like fish,” I said softly, my face averted. I stared out the window, only distantly aware of her. “One day, Danny got it into his head that he was going to teach Micah to swim. He took him over the pool. Threw him in. Over and over. Micah could dog paddle, but that was it. I had just come home from ball practice, and my mother was so tired after picking me up that she went to her room to rest. My great aunt used to bring me home sometimes, but she’d died a few weeks earlier.”

You tell Tante Didi. 

“Is her name Didi? So that’s what Tante Didi means? She’s your aunt?”

“What?” I pulled away from her, shocked and now suspicious of how she could know anything about Tante Didi.

“You said it in your sleep a few times, but by the time we woke up in the morning, I’d keep forgetting to ask you what it meant.”

I nodded. Crap. To think she’d seen me during a nightmare and didn’t mention it said a lot.

“Yes,” I admitted. “That’s her. She suspected the abuse was going on. Eventually, she got us to open up in spite of Danny’s threats to kill us if we ever said a word to an adult. My great aunt went to my father, confronted him. Threatened to do something about it if he didn’t. I only found out about that part years later, when my mother came out to Vegas to try and reconcile with me. She tried to talk me into coming home to visit.”

“Did you?”

“No. I have no resentment toward my mother. She was sick a lot when we were younger. Still is. All her life, she’s been living with a rare heart defect that makes her weak and has her bedridden a lot. It’s probably a miracle she survived four pregnancies. Mom tried to protect us as best as she could when she was well enough. She got between Danny and me, Danny and Micah. Did that often enough that Danny struck her a few times when he got older. My father...he’s to blame for all of it. That’s why I’ll never go back there. I’ll never forgive that man. Not while my brother’s free.”

You tell Tante Didi.

I’d told her. She was going to do the right thing. It would’ve all stopped if she hadn’t been in that wreck.

“It wasn’t an accident?” she asked in a soft hush.

“No. Micah was too tired to keep trying to swim to the shallow end,” I said, remembering the panicked look on his face right before I dove in. “I hauled him to the side. Once. But when I got him out, Danny gave me a look of such…loathing.”

“Christ.”

“I tried to help Micah inside to get him away, but Danny...he was too big, too strong. He shoved me to the ground and threw Micah back in. Then he beat the crap out of me while Micah struggled and tried to make it back to the side of the pool. I passed out, according to my mother. By the time she forced herself out of bed and got outside, I was out like a light. Danny ran off somewhere. Then she saw Micah face down in the water...just...floating…that scream she let out was what woke me up.”

I stopped when Angel was overcome into the point of tears. Hell, I was close to breaking down. I hated having to share this horror with her, but I had to. She needed the truth. By now, she must have been thinking how monstrous a family we were. How fucking damaged I was, living through any of it.

But she got up, grabbed a box of tissues, and came back to sit next to me. Closer than before. I breathed a little easier when she rested a hand on my leg. 

“Your mother couldn’t pull him out and revive him?” she asked between the short inhales of air her crying caused.

“I was the one who went in after him. Mom couldn’t swim. And she was so weak. Compared to her, I was strong, even for seven, and it didn’t matter that I was bloody and my head was cloudy from Danny’s beating. That was my baby brother… She went inside to call 9-1-1, and I dove in for Micah...but it was too late. Mom tried CPR for the entire time that we waited for the ambulance...but… Micah was gone.” 

“I’m so...words fall so short, Mac,” Angel whispered. “I can’t express how sorry I am for what you all went through.” 

Angel glanced down at the next news article.

“And Colleen too?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes. I got another chance and I failed again.”

“God, please don’t say that. I mean…you were so young. You can’t still think any of this was your fault, Mac…do you?”

“Logically, no. Not now. But emotion and guilt are different things. I was there and I did everything I could in the moment, but maybe if I’d called 9-1-1 earlier, or run to a neighbor…if I’d done something different…or told someone else about Danny long before…”

“You were seven.”

We sat there, silent for quite some time, then forced myself to get the rest out.

“It felt like Colleen was born just months after Micah died. For a while, everyone who knew what had really happened thought Danny had changed. That Micah’s death had sobered him up or done something to him. He wouldn’t speak to Colleen, get close to her, or even touch her. Didn’t even seem to notice her...and he stopped torturing me for a while too, until around the summer I turned eleven. That’s when things went right back to how it was before.”

“He was close to fifteen the year he killed Colleen. He tormented her for a whole year. Well, he tried, but I was bigger. I stopped him anytime I was around. And I tried to protect her. Dropped out of sports to be home when she got in. But Danny was maniacal. Patient. Just waiting around the next corner for an opening. It started with small things, tearing off the heads of her dolls, hiding them and telling our parents she hid them. Small, bullshit things. But as time went by, it got worse. Mom and my father were out the day Colleen died. He left Danny in charge. After everything...”

“Mom argued with Dad over what to do with Danny. She hired a few sitters, but none of them stuck around. Nobody wanted to watch us. Danny had a reputation, even if my father didn’t want to accept reality. I think my father had an after-work golf outing. Some event where the company staff brought their spouses along. Mom was having one of her rare good days, so she agreed to go after a lot of convincing from him.”

“I kept an eye on Colleen and an even closer one on Danny. Just before it happened, he left the family room and went upstairs to his room. Then the phone rang. I should’ve been paying attention. Honestly, I only turned my back for a second, and when I looked around she was gone.”

“The first place I checked was her room. Then Danny’s. After that, I ran outside to the pool to look for her. They weren’t there. Five minutes later, I heard her scream. My blood froze when I heard that sound. I raced to get closer and when she screamed again, I realized it was from above. He took her to the roof of the house...Colleen fell before I could get close enough to the arched gable where he threw her from. I...I wasn’t fast enough...”

“That must have been...horrible to witness. I’m so sorry, Mac. But you can’t blame yourself for what happened.” 

But I did.

“After the ambulance came and our parents showed up, Danny claimed she’d gone up there by herself despite telling her not to. He went on and on with his elaborate lie, the conniving bastard. Told them that he begged her to come in, that he tried to climb up through his bedroom window to fetch her.”

“My fucking father didn’t believe me when I said Danny did it. He told the cops I was lying. Why would I lie about something like that? But it was easier to sweep it under the rug and label her death an accident. The cops probably didn’t want to believe someone from the Knight family could be capable of murder. Maybe it was easier to believe I lied than to face the truth about what Danny was.”

“Both of them,” Angel whispered, still staring at the article. “He killed them both and no one listened to you.”

“My father got him off the hook both times. But listen… There’s a reason I’m telling you all of this.”

Angel’s head flew up and she looked at me intently, eyes red and cheeks blotchy from wiping tears away.

“Then...why?” She opened her mouth, then closed it. After a few seconds, she asked, “Wait, when did you leave home?”

“My father sent me to military school the fall after Colleen died. Me. Not Danny. He insisted that my lies and accusations would ruin the family name. I went willingly. It was my escape. I had to get away from him and Danny. But when I turned fifteen, Dad thought I’d learned my lesson. Maybe Mom wanted me home. I don’t know. They brought me back home. I spent a few hours with Mom that day, then I ran away and never looked back.”

“I went to New Orleans. Disappeared. Got creative. Cut off all ties. I met LeVan there a couple years later, and eventually, we headed out west and met Sly…” I looked away. “I haven’t been back home since I ran away at age fifteen. My mother eventually tracked me down when I started performing to bigger audiences. But Dad...I won’t see him. Danny either.”

“Do you keep in touch with your mother?”

“Here and there. I don’t blame her for anything. She did what she could. She tried.”

“I don’t mean any disrespect, Mac, but defending your mother that way…that’s bullshit.” Angel got up and started pacing. “She could’ve left and taken you all with her. She could’ve sent him to get professional help. Or find round the clock care in the home to keep an eye on the rest of you kids. Look, I don’t mean to judge, but...you can’t deflect all that blame to yourself.”

As Angel’s eyes came back to mine, I held up my hands to stop her from saying more.

“Maybe she could’ve done more, but you have to understand what Danny was…what he probably still is. Psychopaths are charming and sly. That’s what he is. He can make you believe everything he tells you. It isn’t until you see him in action that you realize how devious and evil he really is.”

She came over and sat beside me again. “I get that, but what I’m trying to tell you is the traditional medical and mental health prognoses for psychopaths are based on adults. I know this sounds clinical, but all the new research shows that treatment of kids with those tendencies have proven they can improve. Some never get to the point where they commit crimes at all, if the warning signs are addressed early enough. But… I understand what you mean. Back then, at-risk children like Danny were just locked up as teens, or when they became adults. Or after they committed crimes. They were never diagnosed early enough to impact change.” 

“Exactly. I’ve read a lot over the years, as hard as it was to actually do that. But listen. My family…all this… tragedy...they aren’t the entire reason I’m here.”

Angel surprised me, reaching up to touch my cheek. “I think they are. You’ve never trusted anybody in your life other than LeVan and Sly, have you?” she asked with a sad smile.

I thought about Didi. She would’ve saved Micah…and me. I was the object of Danny’s rage far too often. I’d just been tough and physically resilient enough to survive it.

“No. It’s safer that way,” I said roughly. “Safer for them.”

“And lonelier for you.” She bit her lower lip, then looked around the room, at candles that dwindled lower and lower, the flames dancing back and forth. “Tell me, then. All of this…what’s the real reason we’re talking about it now?”

“Two reasons,” I acknowledged. “Earlier this week, I spoke to my mother. We haven’t been in touch for a while. She calls me every year on my birthday. Anyway, I phoned her and told her about you and the baby. I think something changed for her during that phone call. That I’ll be a father, maybe. She phoned me again a couple days later to tell me she’d reached out to a detective. They’re reopening Micah and Colleen’s cases. She said Danny still has his demons and all she wants is to get him help…to make sure he can’t hurt anyone else.”

“That’s…amazing, after all this time. So brave of her… And your father?”

“He doesn’t know yet. I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough, just as sure as I know he’ll try to bury it again. But I told Mom I’ll do whatever it takes to help. My father can’t silence us anymore. I wanted to tell you because you deserve to hear all of this from me. It’s my past…part of who I am. I can’t…I don’t want to run from it anymore.”

She nodded. “I appreciate how much it took to share this with me. Thank you.”

“You should probably brace yourself for if it hits the media too. A story like this in a small town like mine, and about the Knight family? It won’t stay quiet for long if the reopened investigations lead to formal charges.”

“I can handle that. Don’t worry about me. You and your mother need this closure. And who knows…maybe Danny does too. You never told me, what does he do now?”

“Mom told me he’s a VP at Knight’s Chemical. He’s never been in trouble with the law all this time. And he’s single with no kids, thank God. His life’s about to change for sure.”

Now that Angel knew everything about my past, I was ready to let go of it. I faced the horror. Together with my mother, I was about to slay those demons. But I also needed to remember that I had a future now. And a child on the way. Angel and the baby were more important to my future than anything in my past.

Cupping her face in my hands, I lowered my mouth to her forehead, half afraid she’d turn away. She didn’t. She held still and when I brushed a line of kisses down her brow to her cheek, then her lips, she didn’t pull back. 

“You were right,” I whispered. “I was terrified of getting too close to you. I don’t allow myself to do that. Maybe you can understand why now, but you’re right. I don’t want to be that person…not with you.”

The next set of words locked in my throat. They should’ve been easy, considering she’d sat through reliving my childhood horror and didn’t look at me any differently.

But I was close to wimping out like a dumbass.

Taking a breath, I rested my hand on her belly and felt the hard, reassuring warmth of the baby growing there. “I fell in love with you the second I saw you, Angel. That’s how I knew your baby’s mine. I want to be a good father to her. The kind I wanted but never had. She deserves that. And I want you. All of you. All of this. It scares me to death, but I’m more terrified of what I’ll miss if I’m not in your lives.” She covered my hand with hers, a slow smile on her lips as she placed her head on my chest.

“Do you think I’m too fucked up to… be with you? To be a decent parent?” I whispered the questions.

Her head jerked up from its spot on my chest and she looked me in the eye. “No. Of course not. You survived your brother, but you were just as much a victim as your siblings were. Looking back now, I can’t help thinking about how we met…the way you saved me from that jerk that night. And then with Neal at the front door. Your first instinct was to help me…You’re a good man, Mac. Kind, gentle, caring. You’re nothing like your older brother.” She placed a hand on my chest. “You need to believe that in here.” She looked up at me then and lifted her hands to my face, covering my jaw. “I want all of this too. I want you.”

“I’m not too late?”

“No. You’re right on time.”