Chapter 8
“You were really surprised?” Nikki asked.
Liza glanced around the outdoor patio at Wylie’s Cantina, which was decorated with streamers and Congratulations Graduate banners. Amazing smells emanated from the steaming taco bar manned by her ex-boss Wylie himself. A gorgeous cupcake-laden stand sat in the middle of a table surrounded by cards and presents.
Justice had done all this for her—arranging a surprise party with their friends, including the ones she’d made at work—Sloane, Tess, Sophie from the reception desk and others.
“Stunned,” she answered Nikki. “I’ve never had a surprise party. It’s perfect.” Although she wished her stomach wasn’t so tight with nerves so she could enjoy it more.
“You’re lucky, Liza.” Nikki hesitated and added, “Let’s go back in time to our competition on Court of Rock and swap places. I get to work with Savaged Illusions, while you get stuck with the loser band Jagged Sin.”
Liza frowned. “Ugh. I don’t know how you endured two weeks with them. But you did the best you could.” Nikki had tried, but Jagged Sin had been out of control.
“What’s going on?” Em strode up to them.
Nikki shook it off. “Just me whining because Liza’s got a hot rock-star lover. The truth is I got my ass handed to me today over a project at work. It should have been mine, and I’d have gotten a bonus, but one of my coworkers, who was probably sleeping with the boss, got it instead. I need that bonus to get out of my butt-sweat apartment. Now I’m stuck there until I think of something else.”
Liza exchanged looks with Em. Nothing ever seemed to go right for Nikki, and she routinely blamed it on someone else. But she’d worked hard on her pitch to win that project, so Liza could understand her bitterness. “I’m sorry, Nik.”
“Yeah. But I have some leads on other jobs. I feel better already.” After glancing at her plastic cup of soda, she said, “I’m going to head to the bar to get a real drink. Want anything, Liza?”
Alcohol was off-limits now, but Liza tried to keep her mind off that pregnancy test. “No thanks. I’ll go mingle.”
“Come on, I’ll be your wingwoman,” Emily volunteered. “We’ll see if we can find you a hot date on the trip to the bar.”
“Let’s do it.”
“No serial killers,” Liza teased as they walked off. Turning, she made her way toward Justice, Sloane and a few others, but her mind was on Nikki. Did Liza have any connections to help her get a better job? SLAM wasn’t looking for anyone in publicity and marketing right now, but who else—
A hand caught her arm. “So now that you’re all educated, you’re too good to talk to us?”
She took in the two men gazing at her—one with long dark silky hair that any woman would envy, the other in a leather vest and tats. “River, Lynx.” Her throat tightened with grateful joy. “You came.” She hadn’t known Justice invited them.
“Damn right we did. It’s official now, you really are too good for Justice. Think I’d miss a chance to rub that in his face? The dude got his GED in juvie, and you’re a college graduate.”
River laughed. “What are you talking about? You didn’t even do that much. It was Justice’s grandma who made you get your GED after you got out of juvie.”
“I’m street smart.”
River rolled his eyes, hugged Liza, and said, “Any of those cupcakes red velvet?”
She looked up at the bassist. “Ask Tess. She ordered them.”
His eyes lit up. “Tess? She likes me. Bet she ordered red velvet just for me. Probably has a whole box of them stashed somewhere.”
“Huh, she barely tolerates you,” Lynx said. “Bet she has vanilla for me.”
The two men walked off, fighting over cupcakes and cornering Tess. Liza guessed they knew her from the Fighters to Mentors program since her son was in it. Justice, River and Lynx had all been in the program too and often worked with kids now.
Emily caught her arm. “Oh my God, you won’t believe who we saw on our way to the bar.”
“Who?” She was standing close to the fire pit in the middle of the patio, and tried to peer through the large, arched doorway to the main restaurant, but Justice, Sloane, River and Lynx stood there talking and blocked her view.
“Let’s go sit down,” Emily said. They headed to one of the tables.
Once seated, Liza glared at her best friend. “Spill it. Who’d you see?” A flicker of hope surged—could it be her aunt and uncle? Maybe her grandmother? Had Justice invited them? Maybe now that she’d finished college they would see she wasn’t going down the same path as her mom.
“Dillion.”
“Oh.” Disappointment trampled all over that little glimmer of hope, and she shrugged. “So?” Although it was odd that she hadn’t seen him in seven months then ran across him twice in one day. But she wasn’t going to bring that up. Emily could read her too well. If Emily happened to ask why she was at Walgreens, she’d end up saying too much. Liza wanted to tell Justice first.
“With his fiancée.”
Okay, now Em had her attention. “How do you know?” Liza hadn’t met her, so how would Emily know?
Her friend sighed. “Facebook. Jeez, Liza, don’t you know how to stalk your ex?”
“It looks just like her,” Nikki added, holding up her phone. “See? Look at her ring. Must be the engagement photo the way she’s flashing that rock. Her name is Stacy Jo.”
Liza leaned in. Ignoring Dillion, she studied the girl. Shoulder-length brown hair with a straight side part. Sleek and shiny—so unlike Liza’s own. It took quality time with a battery of hair products and a straight iron to get even close to that look. The girl had classic features, maybe a bit boring, but that ring—wow! A square-shaped diamond cut to create a halo effect.
Em eyed the screen. “It’s too square for her man hands.”
A bubble of laughter shot up her throat, but Liza swallowed it. She hadn’t met Stacy Jo and had no reason to hate her. Liza had enough of ugly judgment from people who’d didn’t know her. “I doubt Stacy Jo even knew he was dating me before he proposed to her. Let’s just leave her alone, okay?”
“It doesn’t bother you that they’re here?” Em asked.
Liza shrugged. “Nope.” Although she really didn’t want to see Dillion again. Not after he’d been buying condoms at Walgreens. She didn’t need to think about him and Stacy Jo using them.
You were buying a pregnancy kit.
Right. So better not to see him at all. Plus Justice and Dillion didn’t get along. Dillion’s very existence had a way of pushing her boyfriend’s buttons. “Don’t tell Justice.”
“Tell me what?” He dropped into the seat next to her and set a plate with two soft tacos and steaming rice in front of her. “You haven’t eaten. When I saw you finally sitting, I grabbed you a plate.”
Lynx sat down next to Nikki, his plate piled high. “All the women here are after me. You gonna protect me?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
Nikki eyed his plate. “I want one of your tacos.”
“That’s a steep price, but seeing as how I’m driving women mad with lust…” Lynx gave her one of his tacos.
Justice touched Liza’s bare thigh beneath the table. “So what aren’t you telling me?”
Liza had to think fast. “How many times a week Emily and Ben have sex.”
Lynx choked on a bite of food.
“Twelve.” Ben sat down next to Emily and handed her a plate of food.
“Ha,” Emily said. “More like half that lately.”
“Twelve for you, sweetheart,” Ben shot back. “I know exactly how many times I get you off.”
Emily flashed her boyfriend an evil smile. “I might be faking.”
“Nope. It takes a dozen good orgasms a week to satisfy you.”
Oh my God, what had she started? Liza swung her head around. “Stop!” Once Ben and Emily got going, they were outrageous. “My boss is here.”
Sloane sat next to River. He tapped his glass to Ben’s. “A real man always knows, right?”
Justice opened his mouth.
“Don’t!” Liza had no idea what he was going to say, but this conversation was causing her to flush like she had a sunburn.
He raised an eyebrow, his mouth tilted with amusement. “Don’t tell you to eat? Your food’s getting cold.” He forked up some rice. “Here.”
She narrowed her eyes. “That’s not what you were—”
He slid the fork in.
Dang, that rice was good. Of course she knew that, but she’d been so nervous and worried she hadn’t felt like eating. One taste and suddenly she was starved. Liza dug in, eating a few bites while Sloane and Ben talked about UFC fighting, and River groused that Tess wouldn’t let him eat even one cupcake until dinner was over.
When Liza picked up her second taco, Justice leaned closer. “Eat up. There’s champagne with the cupcakes.”
Liza’s stomach seized instantly. She couldn’t drink champagne. Not now. All her worries rushed back. Abruptly claustrophobic and sweaty, she tried to calm herself. “I’m going to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
Looking concerned, Justice said, “I’ll go with you.”
“That’s okay.” Was her voice too breathy? “I’ll be back in a minute.” She hurried off, weaving around friends and heading into the restaurant. She passed a group of girls whispering, “He’s out on the patio. It’s Justice Cade.”
Rushing by them, she passed the bar and turned down the small hallway. She already felt better. It had just been a moment of panic. She was tired, scared and on emotional overload. The second she’d seen that positive sign on the pregnancy test, the thought of a baby shifted her on a fundamental level she still couldn’t grasp. A child.
Their baby.
That thought sent a surprising wave of longing through her. But the first thing she had to do was tell Justice. No panicking, and no running. They’d talk and figure this out—
“Liza?”
In the hallway, outside the women’s restroom, she looked up into the eyes of her ex-boyfriend. Again. At least this time she wasn’t holding a pregnancy test. “Dillion.” She’d been so preoccupied she’d completely forgotten that Emily and Nikki had warned her he and his fiancée were here. “This is weird running into you twice in one day.”
“Not exactly a coincidence.”
“What do you mean? You followed me?” That didn’t make any sense.
“No. But someone spotted Justice here, tweeted it out, and Stacy Jo is a huge fan of his, so here we are.”
“Your fiancée.” With the too-square rock riding her not really mannish hands.
“Yeah, she still hasn’t forgiven me for not getting the tickets to Court of Rock. When she saw that Justice was here, she insisted on coming. She’s waiting till he leaves and plans to ask him for a picture.”
Unbelievable. “You think I’ll get him to do it?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not asking you for anything. I was just telling you why we’re here. But it looks like you guys are having a party out there on the patio. I’ll get Stacy Jo out of here without bothering you.”
The Dillion she’d talked to twice today was a lot less whiny and petulant than the one who’d broken up with her nearly a year ago. But then, she hadn’t seen him in months. Maybe he finally grew up. “Thanks.”
He nodded, took a step and stopped when he was even with her. “The truth is I wanted to come here tonight too. I figured if Justice was here, you’d likely be with him, and I wanted to see for myself if you’re okay.”
Confused, she asked, “What do you mean?”
Dillion touched her bare arm. “The pregnancy test you bought today. Are you pregnant?”
* * *
Justice stopped as he rounded the hallway corner. Beth had bought a pregnancy test? And why was she huddled by the bathrooms talking to her ex? That bastard was touching her. What was going on?
He strode forward. “Get your hand off her.” Just seeing the guy pissed Justice off. He’d never forget the way the jerk had treated her.
Beth spun around, her eyes wide behind her glasses. “Justice, what—? Uh, we were talking.”
“What the hell, Beth? And why are you talking to your ex-boyfriend about a pregnancy test?” His fingers curled into fists. The only pregnancy test Justice knew of was the one she’d taken before her last birth control shot.
Dillion backed away. “I, uh, should go…”
Justice swiveled his head to see Dillion’s gaze darting toward the restaurant and back to Liza, his face pale and fear in his eyes. “Get lost,” Justice snarled.
Liza settled ice-cold fingers on Justice’s arm. “Dillion, go back to your fiancée.”
The guy spun around and almost ran. Coward. Shifting his attention to his girlfriend, Justice took in her strained face. Calm down, he ordered himself. It wasn’t Beth’s fault that Dillion pissed him off with the mere act of breathing. “What was that about?”
“I was going to talk to you about this in the morning. Not tonight.”
His guts clenched. “About what? How is Dillion involved?”
“He’s not. I ran into him in Walgreens today. First time since he asked me for tickets to Court of Rock. But—”
Two girls rushed into the hall, chattering. “I ate so much, I don’t know if I can go dancing now.”
“Oh stop,” the second one said. “You barely touched your…” Their words trailed off as they vanished into the women’s restroom.
Liza’s fingers dug into his arm. “Come to Wylie’s office.” They walked through the bar, passed a small break room, and into a tiny office.
Justice closed the door and crossed his arms. “What’s going on?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Pregnant. The pregnancy test. His ears rang. The whole room heated, and he couldn’t get his breath. Pregnant. A kid. His kid. Wait, it was his, right? No, fuck, don’t even go there. Liza wasn’t screwing around with Dillion. It’d shocked him to hear them discussing a pregnancy test. But he believed her explanation that she saw him in the drugstore. Justice had no reason to doubt her there.
But a kid. Pregnant.
“You said you took a pregnancy test when you got the last shot.” She’d told him about being late to get her shot, but the test results had been negative. How could this happen?
She jerked her head up. “I did, but I probably wasn’t far enough along to get a positive reading.”
He shook his head, still trying to believe this. “Okay, we’ll go get the morning-after pill. First thing tomorrow morning, just like we did when we forgot a condom.” Relief washed over him.
It’s too late. If I got pregnant when I was overdue for the shot, that was October, so I’m around six weeks along.”
Too late? Pressure banded around him, shoving in from all sides. He couldn’t be a father. The album dropped in a month, and they were going on a three-month tour. Oh shit, his band would flip the fuck out over this.
Frustrated anger shot up and out his mouth. “What is this, Beth? We talked about this—no mistakes. I can’t afford any more screw-ups.” Tearing his fingers through his hair, he added, “I trusted you to handle this one thing.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and anger blazed across her cheeks. “And I trusted you not to be an asshole. Guess we’re both disappointed.” She stomped past him.
The sight of her reaching for the doorknob snapped the stupid from his brain. “Don’t go, I’m sorry.” Damn it, why did he do this? Say boneheaded crap? He caught her arm. “Please. I just… Give me a minute.”
She stopped, her head angled down.
Justice could hear her breathing in and out, trying to control her emotions. She’d told him the second she’d realized she’d missed the shot. So why was he acting like the wounded party here?
“I didn’t mean it. It’s the pressure. Everything is on the line now. This…once you took that pregnancy test at the office, I thought we were in the clear.” He hadn’t been worried anyway. Her doctor had told them it could take months or a year to get pregnant after stopping the shots.
Beth pulled off her glasses, wiping her eyes. “I never meant this to happen.”
He tugged her around to face him. She wore a pretty dress with ankle boots, her hair a cloud of soft waves around her face. This was supposed to be her party—her big night. The one time the attention was on Beth, not him, and he’d made her cry. Even worse, she’d trusted him not to be a jerk.
He pulled her against him. “I’m sorry for yelling.” Shit, her whole body was trembling. She’d been carrying this burden all night long. Trying to calm them both, he stroked her hair.
She pulled back, and her green eyes swam with sadness. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you here. You did all this for me, this party, and now…” She looked away. “I know how important your career is to you.”
“So are you.” He needed her, but he needed to prove himself to the world too. He’d already had one painful failure where he’d let his band down. He tugged her chin up. “Do you feel all right?”
“Yeah. I get a little dizzy if I move too fast, and my breasts hurt, but otherwise I’m fine.”
He wiped a smudge of her mascara. “There’s nothing we can do about it tonight, and obviously we need time. So let’s go back to the party. You’ve worked hard for your degree, and you deserve to celebrate.” He’d really wanted to give her this party, to show her how much he loved her before everything changed once the album released.
It was going to be hard enough for them with him being on the road for three months, only seeing her when he could get home or she got a weekend away.
A pregnancy was going to complicate everything. Today was supposed be fun, but instead, it felt like he was getting locked into a pressure cooker with no release valve.
* * *
Liza took another bite of the cupcake. Chocolate slid over her tongue, warm and sensual with a dark edge. She sat at the Formica table, the quiet old house settling around her.
A baby.
Her baby. And Justice’s. She scooped up another bite of the cake. Her thoughts had boinged around relentlessly, robbing her of sleep. She’d finally slipped out of bed, the lure of cupcakes a much-needed distraction.
Anxiety rushed along her nerve endings, making her too aware of her skin. Her heart thumped uneasily. She ran her finger through the rich frosting, trying to soothe that frantic edge with chocolate.
She caught sight of the small chicken-shaped pitcher sitting on the table by the salt and pepper shaker. “What are you staring at? There’s nothing wrong with cupcakes at 1:00 a.m.”
The brown chicken with the big yellow tail feather handle didn’t look convinced.
“Keep glaring at me, and I’ll be eating fried chicken.”
“Are you threatening my chickens again?”
Liza pivoted on the chair to find Justice leaning a hip against the sink. His hair was sleep mussed, with just a hint of a rogue wave. His powerful shoulders and arms covered in tats gleamed in the kitchen light. He’d pulled on a pair of shorts, revealing his muscular calves down to bare feet. Despite everything, her body tightened at the sight of him. It didn’t matter that they’d had sex on the couch ten seconds after they got home.
She still wanted him. Not with the frantic edge of lust, but a deeper need that felt like it came from her soul. After tearing her gaze away from him to get a full breath, she glanced at her half-eaten cupcake. Guilt pressed down on her. “I didn’t do this on purpose.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Do what? Threaten innocent birds?”
“Innocent, my ass. He’s judging me, and I call fowl.”
Justice snorted. “That’s really bad, honey. You sure you’re a writer?”
She shook her head. “If I wrote this scenario, my heroine would know what to do. What I meant was I didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”
His half smile dropped away as he strode over and sat on the chair adjacent to hers. “I shouldn’t have said that back at the restaurant. This isn’t your fault, and we both knew there was a lapse in your shots.” He paused a second and added, “But it’s a huge wrench in our plans.” He selected a cupcake out of the box and took a bite.
“You been thinking about it?”
“Every second.” Setting the treat down, he fisted a hand on the table. “How do I do this, Beth? The band is relying on me, we have the album releasing next month, and we’re going on the big tour. We’ve all invested significant money in this. How can I do that and be a father? Be there when you and this kid need me?” He shoved his fingers through his hair. “It’s really shitty timing.”
Anxiety dug into her chest. She didn’t have to write this scene to know how it played out. She’d be accused of repeating her mother’s mistakes. Of being a groupie and trying to trap Justice. His band would blame her if he was distracted. No matter what she did, there would always be suspicion following her. She was the girl who destroyed one rock star and now could be trying to ruin another.
And Gene Hayes. He was there, crouched in the shadows. Liza could almost feel him watching her, waiting. What was he going to do once Savaged Illusions’ album came out?
What if he found out Liza was pregnant?
Her blood chilled, and she pushed the remainder of her cupcake away.
Justice didn’t want this baby, and Hayes was always going to be a threat. Rubbing the pain in her chest, she said softly, “What am I supposed to do, get rid of it because it’s a mistake? An inconvenience?” She’d been a mistake and inconvenience. Yet flawed as her mom was, she’d still fought for Liza. “We were both mistakes, you and me.”
He took her hand. “You want this baby?”
She wanted a family. “I had to give up the only family I had left to love you. And before that, I had to give up my mom. But now I feel like I’m getting this second chance. We could have this baby, and I’d love him or her right.” Fierce emotion swelled until it was hard to breathe. “I’ll love them for who they are, protect and defend them. Not turn my back on them.” Like her family had done to her. Liza would fight for her baby. Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back and told Justice the truth. “I don’t want to have to choose again. Between you and our baby. My aunt and grandmother forced me to choose between them and you. And now it feels like I might have to choose again.”
He was quiet, his stare riveted on her face. “I’m afraid I’m not going to have a choice.”
Surprise numbed her roiling emotions. “About having this baby?”
“If we have it, do I need to give up my career? We’re not pulling salaries out of S.I. Records right now. We’re living off my savings and your income. If we have this kid, what am I supposed to do? Give up my dream? Drop out of the band and get a job somewhere? But I have to go on tour, we’ve signed contracts and…” He grimaced. “Or do I go on the tour, then quit? Leave the band worse off? Where are we going to get the money for this?”
He’d obviously been thinking as much as she had. They were both feeling the pressure. “I’m not asking you to give up your dream. From my calculations, the baby won’t be born until summer. And I’m going to make more money with the new job Sloane offered me, plus benefits.” She told him the details.
He stroked his thumb over her wrist. “You sound excited.”
“I am. I want this job. And now I’ll be able to pitch my SLAM Heroes project too.” But she also wanted this baby.
Justice leaned across the table. “What about your writing? You still haven’t finished a book. The changes you’re making on your rock star-groupie book are good.”
Her stomach clenched. “I’m working on it, but it’s a hobby, not a career. Not right now anyway. I can’t risk publishing my sexy romances. Not with Hayes out there. If he does file to overturn the verdict, he’ll use it against me.” So many people in the rock world still hated her. And what would her family think? No, she didn’t want to put her work out there to be torn apart. Right now she was happy keeping it hers and Justice’s secret world. There was something really special about that.
“I hate that that fucker Hayes gets to dictate your choices.” He shoved back his chair, and using their joined hands, tugged her up and into his lap. Wrapping his arm around her, he pressed his lips to her hair. “But your safety comes first. Hayes is getting bolder if he’s got his name listed as producer on Jagged Sin’s album. We don’t know what he’ll do next. You’re right, publishing racy books would make you a target all over again, or even embolden him to file to overturn his conviction.”
He understood. She loved that, and that they could talk like this. She didn’t have to hold in her feelings until her pain was so great, so brutal, the only thing she could do for relief was cut herself. With her head on his shoulder, she traced the outline of the blue jay tat over his heart. “I want this job. As for the baby, we’re not even a hundred percent sure yet. I’ll see a doctor to confirm it.”
Justice’s chest expanded with a deep breath. “We’re working all this week, then the band is taking time off until after Christmas. Make your appointment then, and we’ll go together.”
Relief and hope tangled in her heart. “Thank you.”
His eyes flickered with something. Doubt? Worry? “I’m not making you choose, Beth.”
“I know.” And she loved him all the more for it.
“Don’t make me choose between you and the baby or my dream. I’ve worked my ass off for years. I’m risking everything. I need to know you understand.”
Raw ambition hardened his eyes and sparked a flicker of dread. Yeah, she understood it, but another part of her feared she and her baby would end up as collateral damage.