I knew I was making a bad decision. You’d think that running into Liam in a fucking sex dungeon should have been the first warning sign but that would have made far too much sense. There’s a reason I’ve spent most of my life not being in relationships.

I’ve made it a point not to trust any man for any reason. As soon as I let my guard down, it fucked me over. I’d have to be very careful in the future in order to avoid letting it happen again.

Who would have thought he would be the one to make me put my guard down? When it comes to people I would have thought would be able to start hacking at the wall I’ve put up around myself, he would be the last person I’d think was capable. Yet there I was in the back of a cab wondering if I did the right thing.

I’d been developing feelings for him for quite a while. Was I really willing to throw them all away? Should I have fought for him? That’s the thing, I don’t fucking fight for people and I sure as hell don’t have time for unresolved girlfriend issues.

The taxi had only made it a few blocks from the club when I realized I wasn’t ready to go home. I had so much shit on my mind that I needed to clear and being trapped in the back seat of a cab was not helping me at all. I asked the driver to let me out and decided to roam the streets of New York until I was ready to go home. I didn’t have any particular place to go and wasn’t overly familiar with the area.

I was in a nightlife district so there were plenty of bars and clubs around to keep the streets illuminated. There was so much activity going on around me yet I was completely oblivious to it all. I debated whether or not I should walk back to Paddles.

Since I’d had time to reflect on what happened, I had plenty that I wanted to say to that bitch. In the end, I decided that it wasn’t the right time. As long as I was confused about Liam, confronting his girlfriend would have to be placed on the back burner.

The best thing I could do for myself was walk around aimlessly and allow myself to get lost in my own thoughts. That kind of thing has always been therapeutic for me. It was something I learned to do after my parents passed away. Whenever I had a lot on my mind, I’d sneak out of whatever foster home the state had placed me in and go for long walks.

It caused a lot of friction because I mostly did it at night and the foster families had a big problem with me sneaking out of their homes. Nothing had changed. It was still the way I dealt with my problems. In fact, it was the only way I dealt with my problems.

From the outside, I always try to appear cool as a cucumber. Dealing with my shit in private is the only way I can keep up my appearance as a bad girl who doesn’t give a fuck about anything.

Of course, my way of dealing with things comes with its own set of problems. First, it left me with nobody to talk to about my issues. Sure, my sister was always there but she did things so much differently than me. She has always been better at adapting to the situations around her and I always felt like she didn’t understand the problems I was having. I felt like it was better if I dealt with things on my own.

Not paying attention to where I was going and reflecting on what had taken the place over the course of the evening, I turned the corner and walked right into the chest of a man exiting one of the clubs.

“Hey, why don’t you watch where the fuck you’re going,” he said, apparently drunk and slurring his words.

The last thing I wanted to do was get into an altercation with a drunk guy. I’d learned before that there is no winning when it comes to arguing with someone who is inebriated. Instead, I put my head down, apologized for not paying attention to where I was walking and continued on my way. I thought that would be the end of it until he started yelling towards me.

“Sarabelle, you fucking bitch! What the fuck are you doing out here? You don’t come to the fucking city!”

I turned around to see who in the hell this guy was. Not only did he have me confused with my sister but he also had a lot of nerve talking to me that way, regardless of who he thought he was speaking to. My heart sank when I realized I was looking directly into the eyes of Kade Nichols. It sickened me to even look at him and suddenly, I had a lot of things I wanted to say.

“First of all, I’m not Sarabelle. I’m Lexi. Second of all, you have a lot of fucking nerve talking to either one of us after the shit you did to me. Who in the hell do you think you are to take pictures of me and use them to get what you want out of my sister?”

He was so drunk that he either wasn’t able to comprehend what I was saying to him or he just didn’t care what I was saying. The latter would not have surprised me because he’s the type of person who will argue that he’s right no matter how wrong he is.

“You’re a fucking bitch Sarabelle. We had a fucking deal. You stole the memory card out of my phone and didn’t fuck me like you were supposed to. I held up my end of the deal.”

“Kade, are you mental or something? I’m Lexi. I am not Sarabelle. You said it yourself a few minutes ago: Sarabelle does not come into the city, especially to go to bars and clubs. If you want to get technical, you owe me a fucking explanation. You drugged me when you took me out and took advantage of me when I was passed out. You fucking raped me you asshole. The last thing you need to worry about is doing something with my sister. You should be worried about me kicking your fucking ass for what you did to me.”

“You fucking owe me Sarabelle,” he yelled, still not getting it through his head. “You got what I promised and now it’s time for you to pay up. You’re going to pay your debt to me and you’re going to do it tonight!”

I’d had enough and knew that the conversation wasn’t going to get us anywhere. I was over it anyway and just wanted to go on about my business.

Unfortunately, Kade wasn’t ready to give up as easily. He had his mind made up that I was actually my sister and that I owed him. From out of nowhere, he grabbed me by my arm and yanked me back towards him.

“Get the fuck back here. You don’t fucking walk away from me when I’m talking to you.”

He turned violent very quickly. The more I struggled to get away from him, the tighter he would clamp his hand on my arm. I yelled out for someone to help me but there was nobody on the street and there was no way anyone inside the clubs would be able to hear me.

The music inside was far too loud. Even if it wasn’t, we were in the middle of New York City. That kind of thing happens all the time and nobody bats an eyelash.

I was resisting with all my might but it wasn’t doing me any good. Kade seemed to have superhuman powers as he dragged me down the street. It made me wonder if he had been consuming something other than alcohol that evening. My friends loved to experiment with drugs and one of their favorite things to smoke were bath salts.

I never got into stuff like that because I saw what it did to them. It made them paranoid and crazy, which was exactly the way Kade was acting. It also seemed to give them an insane amount of strength, just like Kade seemed to have. It wouldn’t have surprised me to learn that he and his friends had been smoking the substance all night.

The more I struggled, the more I began to realize that he was going to take me wherever he wanted to. I wasn’t going to make it as difficult for him as possible, hoping he’d wear himself out at some point, which would allow me to get away. I locked my knees dragged my heels on the ground. If he was going to take me anywhere, he was going to have to drag me there.

I wondered where he was taking me. There was an alley and a parking lot straight ahead. I was worried that he was going to drag me behind a dumpster and rape me. I didn’t know whether I should have been relieved or more anxious when he turned and pulled me towards the parking lot.

On one hand, I wasn’t going to be violated behind a dumpster. On the other hand, if his car were parked in the parking lot, he’d be able to take me anywhere he wanted, making it far less likely that anyone would catch him in the act

My fear was realized when we turned the corner and found ourselves standing in front of his black Lexus RX. He pushed me hard up against his car and forced his tongue into my mouth.

It was the most disgusting kiss I’d ever experienced in my life. His breath was hot and it felt like he was in a competition to discover how far his tongue would go down into my throat.

“Get in the car,” he demanded after opening the door.

“Go fuck yourself, Kade. I’m not going anywhere with you,” I retorted. After what happened the last time I was with him, I was scared to death what would happen if he got me out of that parking lot.

“Don’t fuck with me you stupid bitch. Get the fuck in the car before I put you in the car myself.”

I crossed my arms over my chest in an act of defiance. I was determined that I wasn’t going to go anywhere I didn’t want to go. I may not have been strong enough to stop him from doing whatever he wanted to do with me but I was going to make his job as difficult as I could.

He grabbed me even harder than before and started pushing me into his car. I struggled with every last ounce of energy I had but it was no use.

Before I knew what was happening, my entire upper body was lying on his back seat. He kept trying to grab hold of my legs to put them in but I wouldn’t let him. I kept kicking and kicking, hoping to catch him in the face.

I was praying one good shot would be enough to stun him, allowing me to run away. He wouldn’t quit. No matter what I did, he adjusted, determined to get my way. Eventually, he was able to grab hold of my legs. I was about to give up, realizing that my resistance was of no use, when somebody pulled Kade off of me.