Chapter 5
Marie was in a trance, lacking the motivation to work. It had been a year since she had last visited the dark abyss; she’d hoped it was her last time. Lost in her self-loathing thoughts, not even her cell phone buzzing fazed her. Seconds later came another buzz...and another.
The last three days had been awful. Friday night at the Latin club had been fun…and exciting. The music, the dancing, her girlfriends, the incredibly handsome man vying for her attention—it had been intoxicating. It had awakened her from her slumber. Life appeared to be taking a positive turn. Then Sunday night happened. Her world imploded, sending her brief joy into a tailspin of despair.
“He hates me. No, he wants to destroy me. But why? What did I do to deserve this?” Her tears flowed down her face, dotting the keyboard. It was hard to believe she had any left. Since Craig dropped Jackson off at home Sunday evening, she’d cried an ocean’s worth.
The knock at her door jolted her. Wiping her face, she exhaled. “Yes?”
The door crept open; it was Natalie, the office receptionist. Instead of calling from her desk, she checked on her in person. Over the last two days, Marie had secluded herself, much like she had done during her divorce. “Marie, Ann’s on line two.”
“Can you please take a message? Tell her I’m in a meeting or something. I’ll call her later.” Marie remained slumped over her desk.
Natalie studied her. “Okay. She said you’re not answering her texts,” she said.
“I saw them. Thanks,” Marie mumbled.
After Natalie closed the door, Marie returned to the dark, depressing hole that was her life. Sunday had been a pleasant day until Jackson returned from Craig’s, then it turned into the worst day ever—worse than the day Craig had announced his affair and that he was moving out.
Marie struggled to hold her tears back. The words had cut like a knife to her heart, ripping it to shreds. “I’m getting a new mom.”
New mom hung in the air, sucking the life out of her. A declaration no mother ever wanted to hear from her child. Jackson couldn’t have known the magnitude of his excited announcement. New mom. Like she was disposable. Replaceable. A robot without feelings. Not a second thought was given, trading old mom for a new mom. Her chest tightened, her sobs fighting hard to be free. No work was getting done today. She collected her things and walked out of her office, stopping at Natalie’s desk with a vacant expression.
“I’m leaving for the day. Tell the bosses to call me if they need anything.”
“Okay…I hope you feel better,” Natalie replied in a warm, sympathetic tone as Marie walked out the large, smoked-glass door.
When she opened her front door, the quiet stillness inside sent an icy chill down her spine. Jackson wouldn’t be home for several hours. She was alone—just her and her small, drab townhouse. It was nothing like the home she had lived in for fifteen years while married to Craig. Her lip quivered, remembering the beautiful 3500 square-foot custom-built home. It had top-of-the-line everything and only a sought-after designer would do for Craig. He wouldn’t settle for anything less. Now, she lived in a 1200 square-foot townhouse with low-grade, subpar everything. A mishmash of furnishings bought at a local consignment store filled the small space.
They had sold the house and divided the money, along with all their assets, during the divorce. Marie had taken her portion of the money and put it toward a down payment on the townhouse. The comfortable life she had once lived was now a painful memory. Her salary at work paid the bills with a little extra leftover, but gone were the trips to Hawaii and Mexico. She couldn’t even afford one day at Disneyland.
Craig had been ruthless throughout the entire divorce. He told her she could have full custody of Jackson if she gave up spousal maintenance. It was a crushing blow. Still, she didn’t think twice accepting his offer on the spot. She agreed to all his demands to get the divorce over with as fast as possible. Ann had reminded her repeatedly that it was only money. Getting out from under Craig’s thumb and verbal abuse was vital to her emotional well-being. Ann had been right. After Marie had signed the divorce papers, she was free.
Free from a physical standpoint, anyway. Marie’s mental state was a life sentence in prison. She had failed, and she rehashed her failures each week. Although her marriage was empty and loveless, she had tried to make the most of it. She believed her love could sustain them. And it did for a while, as she believed in the phrase, “all you need is love.” She had created a warm, loving home for her kids, and did her best to make Craig happy. Her countless efforts didn’t matter because nothing pleased Craig. Dinner should be made from scratch and was never good enough; the house needed to be “white glove” clean; she needed to be thinner, and she needed to be more grateful for the privilege of being on the receiving end of his massive, oversized cock.
Not a day went by that Craig didn’t brag about his buddies’ wives—how Charlie was a lucky son-of-a-bitch because his wife blows him whenever he wants. Or how Tim’s woman had the body of a Greek goddess with perfectly sculpted tits. “Why don’t you give blow jobs like Charlie’s wife?” he’d ask. His was relentless in hounding Marie about getting work done on her boobs daily. And there was Craig’s favorite statement: “I got a reject in the spicy Latina department. What a fucking disappointment.” She had heard it all and believed every word.
Marie poured a glass of wine and sat down on the barstool. It was one o’clock, and if she didn’t respond to Ann’s text, she might show up at work; or worse yet, at her house. So, she dug her cell phone out of her bag. There were three unread messages.
Ann: Happy Hump day!
Ann: Are you alive???
Ann: Did you call Parker???!!!
“Ugh, why on earth would she think I’d call Parker? It’s obvious she’s out of her mind.” She typed out a reply.
Marie: I’m alive. It’s been a busy day. TTYL
Ann: Something is wrong with you, what is it???
Marie: Nothing, I’m busy.
Ann: I don’t believe you, I’ll be over after work!
“Well crap, I don’t want her coming over.” Now what was she supposed to do? Jackson would be home in two hours, and Ann would be over sometime after that. “This day keeps getting worse,” she mumbled. She decided to try lying.
Marie: No, I won’t be home. Call me later tonight.
After she sent the text, she was over it. Leaving the phone on the counter, she grabbed her glass and went up to her bathroom. A long soak in the bathtub was what she needed to relax, to regroup; she would get lost in the wine, along with her Latin tunes. It was the perfect time to try out the bath bomb Ann had given her. She dropped it in the steaming water and watched it fizz.
The smell of vanilla and cherry filled the room as she undressed. “Mmm.” She stepped into the tub and sank down in the soothing, spa-like water. Her eyes closed, and Parker’s face was there. They burst open in shock. In a frenzy, she blinked to erase him.
Just no. He’s a celebrity. A gringo. There will be drama. But damn, he’s handsome.
She remembered dancing with him and how his rhythm shocked her. The fact that he could Latin dance scored big with her. But it was the intense gaze of his slate-blue eyes on her that stirred latent desires within. He had made her feel wanted and sexy...all with a look.
Any possibility with him had ended when she found out he was a celebrity—a celebrity who acted like he was interested in her…her. Impossible.
All she could do was laugh when Ann gave her his business card as if that would help his case. It was comical. Call a man? Never, let alone a celebrity. He’s only after one thing…a one-night stand. The thought of having sex with him filled her stomach with butterflies again. It had been a long time since flutters or tingles coursed through her body. Experiencing the sensations again amazed her; she had forgotten how good they felt. But none of that mattered. Parker Nichols was all wrong for her.
Her eyes closed once again as her hands moved over her breasts. She cringed. There was no way she could be with a man, not with her body. In particular, not with a sexy celebrity who could have his pick of perfect women. Her hands continued down to her stomach. It was flat, but she knew where every stretch mark was.
Marie inhaled the vanilla and cherry scent. It brought a mischievous smile to her face. “Mmm… Well, I may not be with him for a dozen different reasons, but that doesn’t mean I can’t imagine being with him. I so need this…gringo, celebrity be damned.” Her hand moved further down as Parker re-entered her mind, and she allowed herself to get lost in the moment.
Parker walked through the smoked-glass door of the law office of Malcolm-Bower & Associates. It was obvious Natalie recognized him by the wide grin on her face.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Nichols. How may I help you?”
“Hi,” he greeted. “I’m looking for a woman who…um…specializes in copyrights.” The questioning expression on Natalie’s face made him feel like a fool. But he didn’t care; he had to find her.
“None of our lawyers are women, only a few paralegals. I could schedule an appointment with Mr. Malcolm or Mr. Bower?”
“No, I don’t need an appointment. I’m looking for the woman.” Natalie stared at him, perplexed while chewing on the end of her pen. Parker could hear himself sounding like an idiot. He took a deep breath and continued. “I’m sure this seems odd. But, I’m just looking for a woman I danced with Friday night and I didn’t get her name. I heard she works here. Can you help me?”
Before Natalie could respond, the phone rang. “Um, just a moment, Mr. Nichols.” He nodded. “Malcolm-Bower and Associates, how may I help you?” she answered. “Hi, Ann. Sorry, Marie left a while ago. She seemed upset or maybe sick.” She paused. “Well, you know how private she is, so she didn’t give me any details.”
Parker’s ears perked up when he heard how private this Marie person was. So, he tuned in with interest to the one-sided conversation about...Marie. While eavesdropping, he looked around the waiting area of the law office. Black leather contemporary chairs with steel arms were in front of the floor to ceiling windows. White walls bounced the natural light off the white marble floors. On the walls hung large black and white photographs that showcased epic waves and surfers. It was modern decor of the finest quality—simple and understated.
“I assume she’ll be in tomorrow.” Natalie paused. “Not sure. I think she went home. She hasn’t been herself the last few days.” Her voice lowered. “I think it’s her ex.” Then there was silence. “Will do. Have a good day, Ann.” Natalie hung the receiver up and turned her attention back to Parker.
“I’m thinking the person I’m looking for might be Marie. And I don’t want to invade her privacy, so I’ll leave now. But I’ll be back.” He turned to leave.
“Mr. Nichols,” Natalie called. He stopped and walked back to her desk. “You said you danced with her?” He nodded. “And you’re interested in her?” He nodded again. “You seem like a nice guy, and I’ve seen your show. It’s really great.” She smiled. “Without giving you specific details about this woman, I’ll only say this, be kind to her. If you can’t treat her well and with respect—just leave her alone.” Natalie’s steadfast devotion to Marie was admirable and telling. Marie must be an exceptional woman. Natalie looked young, and in her early twenties, but behind her blue-framed glasses were the soft hazel eyes of an old soul.
“I appreciate your candor. The woman I’m looking for has the most beautiful dark piercing eyes, tan skin, and let me tell you: she’s an amazing dancer.”
Natalie blushed. “You’re looking for Marie.”
“Thank you. I’ll be back.” Parker walked out to his black Range Rover, hopped in the driver’s seat and smiled. “Marie...”
Frustrated, Marie grabbed a towel. No doubt, she was more relaxed and refreshed after her invigorating bath. Still, Marie felt pathetic masturbating out of necessity. If she wanted an orgasm, she needed to do it herself because Craig—the misogynist pig—didn’t care about her satisfaction. He’d only need to stick in his humongous dick, grope her, and cum. Sweet success—all her sexual desires and dreams realized. Or so he thought. There was nothing passionate, sensual, or tender about the act. It was never making love. It was sex. And sex was only about him. Five minutes later he’d climb off her, beat his chest, and walk around like a primal beast whose latest conquest was mind-blowing. She laughed to herself. “And he thought I was a fucking disappointment.” She froze. Had she thrown out an F-bomb? She giggled. Yes, and it was liberating.
The grin on her face was short-lived when she glimpsed her naked body in the mirror. Could a man desire me? Parker re-entered her mind. He had piqued her curiosity on the dance floor. Just seeing his face while pleasuring herself had brought a new level of arousal. Was it her imagination, or might he be a good lover? She swallowed hard. I have needs, too.
After she put her clothes on, she pulled her hair into a ponytail and looked at her reflection. The woman staring back was attractive, intelligent, fun, and she had captured Parker Nichols’ attention. A celebrity—a popular celebrity! That was saying something. Confident and determined, with a new perspective on life, she would not question where the confidence was coming from; she would embrace it.
“It’s time I took control of my life,” she told herself. “Every part of my life. First and foremost, I’m Jackson’s mother. No way in hell will a swimsuit model take my place.” She took a deep breath and marched herself downstairs, determined to do everything possible to be a better mom and win him back…starting with cookies.
Before the divorce, she had baked several times a week. The kids loved her homemade desserts, and so did her thighs. After the divorce, she stopped baking altogether, and the only cookies the kids ate were store-bought. So much had changed in two years for her and the kids, and none of it was good. She had crawled into a dark, lonely hole and did just enough to survive, but not live. Marie was done, over it. She was tired of failing as a woman and mother. It was time things changed. No more pity parties, no more fear, and no more self-loathing. Only acceptance, respect, and love for myself.
Already she felt empowered. The timer buzzed, and she pulled the second tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven just as Jackson walked through the front door. He suddenly stopped and stared at her.
“Hi, buddy.”
“Why are you home? You made cookies?” A smile appeared on his face but disappeared just as fast.
“I came home early today and wanted to bake you cookies. How about some milk to go with them?” He nodded and hopped up on the barstool. She poured him a glass of milk and set a plate filled with cookies in front of him.
“Mmm…your chocolate chip cookies are always the best,” he said with a full mouth. The praise caught her by surprise, and a lump formed in her throat as she remembered the closeness they had once had. Marie watched him gobble up the cookie and smiled. Then out of nowhere, Ann blasted into the kitchen from the entry, startling them.
“Marie, what’s going on?” Ann demanded. Jackson’s eyes widened. “Sorry, buddy. Something’s going on with your mom and she won’t tell me what it is.” Floored by the intrusion Marie glared at her. “I called your office. Natalie said you left. Does this have to do with Parker? Or is it Craig?”
“Ann, not now,” she said firmly. Ann’s gaze shifted to Jackson, eating his cookies.
“Dad’s getting married,” he mumbled. “I’m getting a new mom.” Marie’s eyes stung at the sudden declaration, and she whipped around to face the sink. “Who’s Parker?”
“Oh buddy, you’re not getting a new mom. You have a mom,” Ann corrected, touching his shoulder. Marie gripped the counter. “Just because your dad is getting married again doesn’t make his new wife your mom. Just like if your mom remarried, her new husband doesn’t become your new dad. You already have a dad. Does that make sense?” Ann asked, her voice tinged with an emotion she rarely displayed.
“Yeah, it makes sense. So, who’s Parker?” Jackson asked again, as he reached for some milk.
“Nobody,” Marie was quick to answer. “Why don’t you take your cookies and milk into the living room to watch TV.”
“Okay.” Jackson left the kitchen, and now Marie was the one with the death stare.
“You bitch.” Marie glowered. “Next time you have an issue with me, keep your damn mouth shut in front Jackson,” she whispered. “We’ll talk about whatever’s on your mind in private, do you understand me? And never storm into my house like a lunatic again.”
Ann stared at Marie, flabbergasted, and with her mouth ajar. “Marie…you cursed.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“I’m sorry. Why didn’t you call me? How am I supposed to help you if you don’t call me?”
“Because I needed time to process. It killed me to hear Jackson say he was getting a new mom.” She took a deep breath. “And I knew you’d bring up Parker.”
“Okay, I get it. I’m a pushy bitch. But honey, you seem stronger. What’s changed in you?”
“I’m tired of getting walked on and pushed around. I’m ready to fight.”
“Well, it’s about damn time.” Ann pulled her into a hug. “You’re rising above this.”
Marie started the day with a bounce in her step. It was a new day, and she was filled with hope for the future. As Marie sauntered to the stairs to call Jackson, she hummed a tune. Had she paid attention, she would have recognized the song from the club and her dance with the hot gringo. “Jackson, we’re leaving in five minutes,” she called up to him.
“Okay,” Jackson said running downstairs. “I need ten dollars for a t-shirt.”
“Sure thing, in my wallet. I forgot my iPad upstairs. I’ll be right back.”
Jackson pulled her wallet out, removing several bills. As he counted out ten dollars, Parker’s business card fell out between the bills. Jackson picked it up and read it. “Moooommm!” he yelled.
“What Jackson? What’s the matter?” she said running down the stairs, iPad pressed against her chest.
“Why do you have Parker Nichols’s business card? Do you know him? Is that who Ann was asking about? Mom, tell me!!!” His face was bright with excitement, a look she hadn’t seen since before Craig moved out. Her heart melted. It was the little boy she’d been missing the last two years.
“We need to go buddy, or I’ll be late for work.”
“Okay, you can tell me in the car!” He grabbed his stuff and ran out to the garage.
The car ride was the most enjoyable time they’d had in…forever. Marie explained to Jackson that she didn’t know Parker, but she had met him when she was out with the girls. He was beyond thrilled. You’d think he had just met Parker Nichols.
“Have a good day, buddy.”
“Yeah, you too Mom, and we’ll talk more about Parker later today!” He slammed the door shut and ran over to Ricky. Marie watched his mouth move at rapid speed, accompanied by animated gestures. One could only imagine what fantastical story he told Ricky. It was the perfect start to both their days.
At noon Parker walked through the smoked-glass door and smiled at Natalie as if they were old friends. “Good afternoon, Natalie.”
“Mr. Nichols, I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”
“Is she here?”
“She is.”
“Excellent, can I see her?”
Natalie held up one finger, and with the other hand picked up her phone and dialed Marie’s extension. “Hi Marie, I have a Mr. Nichols asking to see you.” She paused. “Um, Parker Nichols.” Parker watched as Natalie’s eyes roamed the lobby. “But…but he’s…”
Parker frowned. It didn’t sound like Marie wanted to see him, so he took control of the situation by reaching his hand toward Natalie for the phone. With hesitation, she handed it over to him. “Marie, it’s Parker. Please come out to the lobby.” There was silence. “Marie, please.” He waited for her answer, and when she gave it, a broad grin stretched across his face. “Thank you.” He handed the phone back to Natalie and winked.
Marie paced in her office. “What the hell? He’s here! What does he want? How did he find me?” She squeezed her hands into fists, making them sweaty. Then she stopped when it hit her. “Those damn girls!”
He’s just a man, she told herself. That didn’t help calm her racing heart. She could be professional and in charge in her place of work. She fixed her grey pencil skirt and re-tucked her white button-down blouse, and with an air of confidence walked out to the lobby. At first sight of him, butterflies awoke in her stomach. It was the face she had held captive during her bath. Her cheeks warmed.
“Mr. Nichols.”
“Hi, Marie,” Parker greeted. She watched his eyes danced over her—up to her hair in a French twist, her crisp white V-neck button-down shirt, and grey fitted skirt that hugged her curves. “I was wondering if I could take you to lunch?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Natalie eavesdropping. “This way,” she said walking to the door and jerked her chin for him to follow.
The afternoon sun shone brightly, sending off a heat that matched her intensity. Now more than ever she had to keep control of the situation. “Let me be straight with you. I’m not interested.” Her matter-of-fact attitude stonewalled him, and she hoped it gave her the upper hand.
He stared at her confidently. “You aren’t interested in lunch?”
She cocked her head to the side, holding his gaze. The sun shining behind him forced her to squint. When he smiled, she could tell he liked her sassy attitude. “Come on…Why are you here? Am I being punked?” By this time, she had her arms crossed over her chest and her hip pushed out. She wasn’t up for playing games.
“Marie, let me assure you, nobody is punking you. You’re a beautiful woman and I enjoyed dancing with you. Have lunch with me…please?”
Marie liked how he tried his best to charm the pants off her with his sexy grin. But she didn’t cave like the other women who fell at his feet. She wouldn’t crumble into a puddle of goo despite his charm and good looks. This thing wasn’t going to happen. “You seem like a nice guy, but you’re also a celebrity, or so my friends tell me.” He laughed out loud, and she liked it. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” But she wanted to tell him, “You are a sexy gringo actor who will only break my heart.”
“So, you have something against actors? It’s just lunch.” He flashed his best celebrity grin; it melted her, but she would maintain control.
“Yes, I have something against actors. It’s not personal. I don’t want my face plastered all over the internet. I like my privacy.” She shrugged.
“It’s kind of hard not to take it personally.” He looked away from her, disappointed. “Do you have my business card?”
“I do,” she said with a guilty smile.
“Good. Call me, Marie. Marie…what’s your last name?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Ah, right. There’s that privacy thing again,” he teased.
“Ramsey.” She shook her head and smiled. “Marie Ramsey. It’s on the Malcolm-Bower website; it’s public knowledge.” She laughed as she tossed her head back.
“Are you sure I can’t buy you lunch, or dinner?”
The butterflies danced in her stomach, his persistence endearing. More than anything she wanted to say yes, but they’d never work. How did he not see that? “Parker, I’m sure that I can’t. I’d rather not start anything,” she said with a hint of regret in her voice.
“Okay.” He stood unmoved, staring at her as if willing her to change her mind.
“You have a good day.” She waved as she turned back to the office.
Parker remained on Marie’s mind the rest of the workday. It wasn’t easy turning him down. And seeing him again reignited the feelings she had had at the club…not to mention the feelings she had in the bathtub. To make matters worse, Craig had never looked at her the way Parker did, like he was happy to see her, with those slate-blue eyes, sparkling like the ocean. Did he have to be so sweet? And his charming grin… Ugh.
But it was the look on Natalie’s face when she walked back into the office she wanted to avoid—the star-struck, swoony, melt-at-your-feet look. The same look Brooke had had at the club. In fact, they all had it, including every fan that asked him for a picture. I wish he wasn’t a celebrity.