Miranda took a step back from the table, inspecting her work one last time before giving her final approval. The cake was a huge, eight-tier affair, with alternating layers of chocolate, yellow, and marble. Each flavor had its corresponding filling of raspberry mousse, dark chocolate ganache, and a vanilla creme made with real Madagascar vanilla beans and just a hint of rum. It was overlain with sheets of homemade fondant in varying shades of blue, with intricate roses, made from her best buttercream, scattered about. The best feature was literally hundreds of pale pink butterflies she had handcrafted from sugar paste, that cascaded down the side of the cake. It was truly a masterpiece, one of her best works. She always took great care to make sure the cake table was perfect before leaving the reception area, but this one was especially important. Two-hundred-fifty satisfied guests could turn into many well-paying referrals for Pattie Cakes.
"Thanks for helping me get everything set up," Miranda said. "Jordan usually gives me a hand with this part, but he bailed right after helping me move the cake."
"Thank God." Kayla gave a sigh of relief. "This was much harder than I thought. I'll have to remind Jordan the next time he chooses to go off in a snit, to make sure it isn't on a day you have to set up for a wedding."
"What is with him, anyway?" Miranda said. "He hardly said a word to me while we were moving the cake. Then, he just took off when my back was turned without even letting me know he was leaving."
"Well," Kayla said, "my brother hasn't exactly been silent about your little date this evening. Maybe he was miffed about that."
"First of all," Miranda said, "it's not a date. He tricked me into it."
"Uh-huh."
"It's true!" Miranda could feel her chest constricting in irritation. She hadn't even seen Drew yet today, and he was already bringing out the worst in her. "Besides, it will make Tommy happy. And, aren't you the one who's always telling me I have to let it go and make my peace with Drew?"
"Hey, I'm not the one you need to convince." Kayla took a step back, eyebrows raised and expression deadpan. "I want you to do whatever makes you happy. If that means being with Drew, then that's great. I'm just saying you could try seeing it from Jordan's point of view, that's all."
"What is that supposed to mean, exactly? Jordan is my friend. He should be supportive of my choices."
"The man is in love with you, Miranda. What do you expect him to do?"
"Here we go again." Miranda sighed in exasperation, but maybe a little bit of fear, too. Her brain had placed Jordan firmly in the friendship category. Thinking of him in any other way meant having to rearrange her carefully constructed rules and barriers. Drew was challenging them enough right now. She didn't need another man in her life doing the same thing. "If he were so in love with me, don't you think he would have said something by now?"
"Maybe he's afraid of your reaction." Kayla cast her a sidelong glance. "Or, of his competition."
"Competition? Are you serious? I haven't had a real relationship since—” She paused for a moment to reflect. She had dated a couple of guys a few times, but nothing serious, and nothing that ever went beyond the hand holding stage or maybe a kiss or two. Wow. She was starting to sound like an old maid. "I guess I haven't been serious about anyone since Drew."
"Exactly." Kayla nodded her head in agreement and satisfaction at Miranda proving her point.
"He's hardly anything to worry about. At least where I'm concerned."
"Oh, really?" Kayla's look was somewhere between disbelief and frayed patience. "Then why did you cancel your regular Friday movie night with Jordan to go out with Drew?"
"I told you it's not a date. Besides, I don't see Jordan every Friday night. We miss a few here and there." Not many, though. And never because of another man. Absolutely never because of Drew. She and Jordan had started spending Friday nights together when he became her birthing coach, and it had morphed into a regular thing over the years. Jordan was one of her dearest friends. He had been there for her through everything—her anger, her tears, and the struggle to put her life back together. Two days of Drew being back in town, and she'd already ditched him. How could she be so callous? "I screwed up, didn't I?" she said.
"He'll be all right," Kayla said. "His feelings are hurt, but he'll get over it."
"I have to find him," Miranda said. "I have to tell him I'm sorry."
"For what?" Kayla looked Miranda dead in the eye. "For tonight only, or for taking him for granted in general?"
"That was harsh." Miranda's pale cheeks flushed and not just from the exertion of her work. She was a little irritated at Kayla's remarks, but also a little embarrassed. Maybe she had taken Jordan for granted. Maybe she focused a little more on herself, and her own problems, than she should. "I love Jordan. I would never want to hurt him."
"I know." Kayla covered Miranda's hand with her own. "But you are hurting him. Whether you want to admit it or not, the two of you have fallen into this sort of quasi-relationship over the last few years."
"Wait—” Miranda started to protest, but Kayla held up her hand in a halting motion.
"You don't have to remind me that you've never been romantically involved, but you can't deny that you enjoy the attention he gives you. He spends lots of time with you, he does all the 'dad' stuff with Tommy, he's always fixing things for you, or helping you out with the business—sounds like boyfriend status to me."
"What should I do?" Kayla was right. Miranda had chosen to ignore all the signs, but Kayla had hit the nail right on the head. Jordan was giving a lot more than he was getting back in their relationship, and she had come to expect it of him.
"Just be honest with him," Kayla said. "Sort out your emotions, and if you think you might have feelings for him, then give him a chance. If not, then you need to let him know." Kayla gave Miranda's hand a tight squeeze. "Jordan has been your friend for a very long time. Whatever you do, he'll still be there for you, but he deserves a chance to be happy, too. If you can't love him in that way, then let him move on to find someone who will."
"I don't know, Kayla." Miranda twisted a lock of hair around her finger, considering. "The thing is, I've never thought of Jordan in that way before. I'm not sure how I feel about him."
"You must have at least considered the possibility before," Kayla said. "Even if your brain hasn't consciously thought of it, our bodies tend to have a mind of their own. Does your heart melt when he walks in the room? Do you miss him when he's gone? Haven't you ever had a dream that you're kissing him, or something, then when you wake up you try as hard as you can to fall back asleep, so you can dream about him some more?"
"Well," Miranda said, trying to stall a little. The thing is, she had felt some of those things, but in a warm and safe friendshippy kind of way. Not romantic love. She had felt love once, a long time ago, and it had been different. It was tumultuous and heart wrenching, dramatic and all consuming, but it was not pleasant and safe. Anything but that. "I've felt love before, Kayla. I don't know if I ever want to go through that again."
"You felt teenage love before, Miranda," Kayla said. "And it was with my brother who, as sweet and charming as he can be, still cares primarily only for himself. As much as I love him, he can be a real jerk sometimes. I think it's a shame you never got to know what real love could be like." Kayla reached out to Miranda, turning her head, so she would have to face her. "Whoever you end up trusting your heart with, he's going to make you cry sometimes. You will fight and argue—everybody does. But he should make you feel happy and safe. That's what real love is, if you would just open yourself up to it."
Could she open herself up to it? Did she even want to take the risk? She wasn't sure how she felt about anything right now, but one thing was for certain. Whether she acted on any of it or not, Kayla was right. She had played the martyr long enough. Maybe it was time to start exploring her options.