It was a beautiful day for a picnic, but a horrible day for breaking a man's heart. Especially when that man was Jordan. Originally, they had planned their Sunday picnic as an exploratory date, but it had turned into one of the most difficult conversations she would probably ever have in her life. It was also supposed to have taken place on the cliff, but after being there with Drew last night, she didn't feel comfortable with that.
"I understand if you're just not ready to move on yet," Jordan said, "but please don't insult my intelligence by trying to make me believe it has nothing to do with Drew."
She understood. He was angry. He was tense. He had waited years for her to make up her mind. To be fair, though, she had never asked him to. Had never even one single time, until just a couple of days ago anyway, given him an indication that their relationship would ever go beyond the bounds of friendship. She felt bad for her friend, but she refused to feel guilty. She would no longer live her life based on worry and blame.
"He tricked us yesterday, you know," Jordan said. "There were never any emergency repairs needed at the Inn. He orchestrated the whole thing." He paused, giving a short, derisive, laugh. "I suppose, I've got to hand it to him. It was pretty crafty."
"I'd be lying to you if I said it had nothing to do with Drew, but not in the way you think." She took a deep breath, trying to control her scattered emotions. "Seeing him again just made me realize the feelings I still have for him. Feelings I don't intend to act on, but there just the same.” She placed her hand on his, willing him to understand how important their friendship was to her. "You deserve more than a relationship with someone who can never fully be yours, Jordan."
"You can't expect me to believe you're never going to date anyone." That short derisive laugh again.
"No. I don't expect you to believe that, because it isn't true. I fully intend to date again. Probably soon. But it will be someone who will not always have to feel that they're living in the shadow of Drew." She gave his hand a squeeze and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You know me too well, Jordan. You will always be aware you don't have all of me. Is that what you want for yourself?”
He looked at her for what seemed like an eternity. Emotions ranging from anger to sadness to disbelief flashed in his eyes. She wanted more than anything to preserve their friendship, but it was all up to him now.
"No," he finally said. "I do want more than that." He brought his hand to his heart and took a deep breath. "The truth is, you've never led me to believe we were anything more than friends. I think, over time, it just became a safe place for both of us. And, you're right. I do deserve more than that. But, so do you, Miranda. You deserve love in your life. As much as it pains me to say this, maybe that means you should think about giving Drew another chance."
Another chance. Never had two words held such promise and such resistance all at the same time. Her cheeks flushed, as vibrant images of the night before flitted through her mind. She waved her hand in front of her face, trying to fan away the tell-tale signs of her fiery thoughts. Drew had made her want him with a fierce intensity, unlike anything she had ever known. That kind of passion could easily get out of control. She had to put it in check immediately. Another chance could mean love and happiness, but it could also result in pain and regret. She'd had enough of the latter to last a lifetime. She didn't intend on risking more.
"I'm so glad you're my friend, Jordan," she said. "I know it took a lot for you to say that, and it means the world to me." She busied herself, packing the picnic supplies back into the basket. "But giving Drew a second chance is out of the question. I admit, I still have strong feelings for him, but I could never trust him again."
"That's great, if that's how you truly feel," Jordan said. "Just make sure that's what you really want, before making any final decisions. The only thing worse than losing the love of your life once, would be losing it again due to foolish stubbornness and pride." He turned to her, cupping her chin in his hand. "I don't want to be sitting here, seven years from now, with you still lamenting over Drew Elliott."
Seven years from now. Where would she be? Where would they all be? Tommy would be thirteen years old. A teenager. At the age where friends were more important, and parents were a drag. It tore at her heart to think of him pulling away from her, but it was a natural thing. Who would she turn to? Would she have a special person in her life? Drew was offering her a chance at happiness again. A chance at love and companionship and trust. It would be so easy to run to him. Spend the rest of the summer basking in the glory of their love. But, summer would end. And where would they be, then? Maybe he would stick around this time. She had no doubt he meant it when he said he loved her and wanted to be with her. But, they had always had love. That had never been the question. What was in question was Drew's level of maturity and commitment. Certainly, he had grown over the last seven years. But, was it enough?
She walked across the lawn to the Inn, Jordan carrying the picnic basket, at her side. She needed to put it out of her mind. It didn't do any good to dwell upon it. Drew would always be Drew—handsome and charming and sweet and loving—but not dependable in the end. As much as she might fantasize about their night together, that's all it was. A fantasy. It could never happen again.