Breathe

Briar

Years of planning wouldn’t have been enough to prepare me for what we’d walked in on late that afternoon. And I’d only had months.

I’d known how many men were in this world that I’d been sold into—this world that my devil had been taking part in for years in order to take it down. Lucas and David had said the number so often that it continued to bounce through my mind even when I tried to sleep.

Thirty-three. There were thirty-three men, including Lucas.

The number had only shocked me for half of a second before I realized that I’d already known. My shopper had said dozens on more than one occasion, and I had a feeling I’d known from that very first day.

I had stared down what had looked like dozens of one-way mirrors while dozens of lights flashed on and off as the men hiding behind them had bid on me.

No, that number didn’t shock me, but maybe it was because I couldn’t grasp what it really meant.

Standing in the enormous hall where every one of those thirty-three men were gathered for their annual celebration, I was beginning to understand just how terrible the number thirty-three was.

Because each of those thirty-three men had anywhere from one to fifteen women standing close by their side—most had the latter. One to fifteen women who had been stolen from their homes and sold in an auction like I had.

All of those stolen girls . . .

And they hadn’t had a Lucas.

What was worse, nearly all of the women looked deliriously happy with their men—just as William’s did.

Lucas had told me that, at some point, nearly every woman had a chance to leave and go back to whatever life she’d had before she’d been kidnapped, and none ever did. From the stories that William’s women had told me of their previous lives, and from the little I’d heard from Lucas, I was sure I knew why . . .

The women only came from the worst of lives—lives that the women would be thankful to get away from.

Like Jenna would’ve, I’d thought numbly when I realized why they’d targeted her in the first place.

It was a way for these men to feel like they were saving their women from awful lives, and in turn, it was why most of the women thought they were in love with this life. Because even if the beginning was terrifying, it nearly always turned out better than what they’d had.

And now we were about to tear this life away from all of them. We were about to tear away a world where they’d grown comfortable with their brain-washing men and send them into a world full of therapists and agents in the hopes they would one day live the normal lives they always should’ve had.

Looking at the hundreds of women filling the hall, it terrified me to know that some of them would never adjust—to know that most of them didn’t want to get out of this world—to know that being freed from these disturbed men would be harder for them than being torn from their homes had been.

I’d already been queasy before the event had begun, but my nausea had worsened since we’d arrived a couple hours before, and I felt close to fainting as I stood in the sea of lost women.

Lucas murmured a low curse under his breath, and I lifted my heavy head to look in the direction he was facing.

A couple of men and their women were walking in our direction and I instinctively backed up against Lucas’s side when I noticed who one of the men was.

I didn’t know his name, and I didn’t want to. All that mattered was that when I looked at him, I remembered Lucas’s words from my first weeks with him, and I understood just how badly this all could’ve gone for me when I was first sold at the auction.

“It’s possible that if you’d been bought by someone else then you would have ended up as a sex slave.”

This is what Lucas had meant that day. He was one of two men I’d seen at the celebration like this—and he made my already weak stomach churn until it felt like I would lose the remaining contents right there on the floor. I felt sick as I watched the man approach us, and I suddenly couldn’t swallow anymore. My tongue felt too thick, my mouth too dry. I needed to get out of there.

The man was tall with a large, drooping belly. And in one of his meaty hands, he held the ends to leashes. Leashes that were attached to his women. Women who were crawling after him on the floor like they were dogs.

Lucas flinched away from me so quickly that I stumbled toward him, only catching myself when he gripped my upper arm and made me face him.

“Sorry,” I whispered automatically. I knew I couldn’t touch him. I hadn’t meant to; I’d just wanted to get away from what I was seeing.

Lucas’s head dropped so he was eye-level with me, and he pinned me with a cold stare. His lip curled into a sneer, completing the expression, and not matching his breathless words. “I’ve got you. You can do this.”

To anyone watching, he was a man disgusted with the way his woman had just acted, and was giving her quiet commands. To us, he was steadying and comforting me the only way he could while he played his part.

“Remember that we’re taking them all down. Remember that we’re freeing the women,” he whispered then released me roughly, straightening just in time to greet the men as they approached us.

By the time I turned toward them and lifted my head, every emotion was locked up tight inside me—betraying nothing of what I felt. None of the fatigue or nausea from what was happening inside me. None of the revulsion or horror from what I was seeing in this massive hall. None of the anticipation or eagerness of what was to come before the night ended.

None of it.

For all they knew, I was a woman who had just been scolded in public by the man who owned her, and I was trying not to show that I was embarrassed.

“Lucas Holt,” the man with the leashes called out. “I’ve been looking forward to speaking with you. It has been going around how well you have done with your first.”

Now that he was closer, I could see him more clearly. He was sweating profusely, forcing his sex slaves to crawl through what was dripping from him onto the floor.

Bile rose in my throat, and I tried to force it back.

His eyes slowly raked over me, and I lost my hold on my neutral appearance when he licked his teeth and said, “And might I say, she is lovely.”

I dropped my head and saw Lucas stiffen from the corner of my eye before his hands slipped into his pants pockets. I knew who was now facing those disgusting men, and I knew what he was imagining doing to them.

And for once it didn’t scare me. I wanted it.

The floor swayed below my feet, and I squeezed my eyes tight as I blew out a slow breath, trying to calm my stomach. But my head felt light—too light.

I swallowed thickly and tried to open my eyes, but shut them again when it felt like the entire room was spinning around me.

When my devil spoke, none of the wrath I knew he was feeling could be heard. Only that unnerving calm, with the slightest hint of arrogance. “She was a challenge at first, but I found her out soon enough, and then she was easily broken.”

The sweating man laughed loudly, and another man on my left spoke up, making me feel even more off balance. “You should buy tonight, Lucas. It’s not often we find one who will do what we need them to so quickly, so you should take advantage and start on your second.”

“I plan to,” Lucas responded coolly.

“Would you look at that,” the sweating man said with a snarl. “Your first can’t even stand the thought of it. Jealous bitches they are in the beginning.”

I knew he was referring to the way I wouldn’t look at any of them, but I was afraid of what would happen when I opened my eyes. I was shaking and felt cold, as if someone had just shoved me in an icebox. I was also sweating as badly as the man with the leashes.

“Briar,” Lucas said in warning, but I knew the tone was more for the men than me.

With another steadying breath out, I forced my heavy lids open—but I was only able to take in the scene in front of me before everything went black.

Silence that felt impossibly loud sounded in my ears, and I felt very aware of everything and nothing all at once.

I knew I was standing. I knew I was trying to breathe calmly. I knew I was staring blankly at nothing, because I was seeing nothing. I knew I was leaning too far forward, and I needed to stop myself.

But I couldn’t see or hear anything other than that deafening silence, and I couldn’t discern the time that was passing, because this horror felt like an eternity.

I threw my hand out to my side, to where Lucas had been. The force of my movement caused me to stumble backward. Before I could attempt to right myself, everything came rushing back to me all at once, and I slammed into Lucas’s side as the light and the noise became too much.

Lucas caught me automatically, but I only had a moment to rest in his arms—my head falling heavily to his chest—before he was gripping my shoulder and shoving me away.

I could only imagine how I looked from the panic that flashed across his face before he was able to control it, and then his face was twisted with practiced anger.

“I need something to drink.”

Surprise and worry filled those dark, dark eyes before he forced it away, and sneered, “You can wait until I’m finished talking with these men. Don’t int—”

“No. Now,” I said sluggishly, and blindly reached for him again when I swayed in his direction. He batted my hand away, but his other hand on my shoulder tightened to keep me from falling.

“What is wrong with her?” a man asked. His tone showed how shocked he was with the way I was acting.

“I need water,” I said to Lucas as my shaking continued. “Something. Please.”

When he spoke, his voice was low, dangerous. “You can wait. Do not interrupt us again.”

The sweating man scoffed. “Am I right to assume all those rumors of your success have been just that?”

“Lucas, I’m—”

“Briar!” he snapped, shock and anger playing on that dangerous face as he forced me closer and dropped his head to whisper in my ear—but Lucas stilled when one of the men spoke.

“Is your mentor aware of your girl’s disobedience?”

It felt as though the entire hall had gone silent even though it was just the group surrounding us waiting for Lucas’s response.

My devil leaned away from me, a cruel smirk pulling at his mouth. “Her disobedience?” he asked in a dangerous tone. His eyes left mine and flashed toward the men. “Her disobedience is nothing a night of lessons won’t fix.”

The men laughed loudly, and Lucas used the moment to dip his head so his lips were at my ear again.

“Breathe, Blackbird,” he whispered in a calming tone. “Slow, deep breaths. Stand here and breathe. I can’t let you leave, and I can’t let you push me to stop the conversation. I promise I’ll take you somewhere so you can sit down soon. Just breathe.” He looked every inch of the Lucas Holt he needed to play when he pulled away from me, and he sent the men a frustrated look when he turned toward them again. But even though he released my arm, he was standing closer to me than he’d originally been, and I knew he was ready to catch me if I started to fall.

Which still felt like too real of a possibility.

“Ah. Jealous bitches,” the sweating man said again, then searched through his leashes until he found the one he was looking for. He held it up, shoulder-height, and one of the women sat back so she was sitting up on her knees instead of kneeling down on all fours. “This one did the same—my first. We were at this very event when she realized I would be buying my second. She started crawling all over me like a bitch in heat. I didn’t wait until we got home, I took her into the bathroom and taught her a lesson right then.”

A shuddering breath left me, and my eyes fluttered shut as the room once again spun—as my hatred and disgust for the man grew so strong that I wanted to scream and claw at his face, wanted to yank the leashes from his hand and use them against him.

Lucas made some sort of humming noise in the back of his throat, but I was struggling too hard to stay vertical to focus on it. “That’s not a bad idea,” he said, his tone filled with amusement. “After the show mine just gave you, I think I’m going to have to do the same.”

“Don’t let us stop you,” the other man said, and the sweating man laughed loudly, yanking on the leashes as he did.

Lucas said brief goodbyes, then turned and started walking away from me, and I struggled to follow.

It wasn’t until we were out of eyesight of that group that he slowed and grasped my arm, gentle enough not to hurt, but firm enough to help me stay standing—firm enough for anyone looking to think he was dragging me rather than helping me.

“Are you okay?” he asked under his breath as he led me toward a table filled with drinks.

“I feel like I’m going to faint.”

His grip tightened, and his steps faltered, but his face stayed cold and indifferent. “Did you? Back there?”

I clenched my teeth against another wave of nausea, and tried to breathe through it when it made the outer edges of my vision darken. “I don’t know what happened,” I responded honestly, then focused on taking calming breaths for a few seconds. “I might have blacked out.”

I hated that I was doing this to him when we had hours or minutes or seconds until this was all over. I hated that I couldn’t be stronger for him on this night when he was playing his part so well. I didn’t know if it was the dress or the overly crowded hall or the knowledge of what would soon be happening. I just knew I needed to fight through the nausea and the fatigue until the night was through.

Lucas didn’t respond until we were at the table and he’d grabbed a glass of iced water and handed it to me. “Blacked out. Wh—” He cut off, and looked blankly ahead for a few seconds before pulling his vibrating phone out of his pocket. He only glanced at the screen for a second before his pained eyes met mine as he answered the call.

“Yeah?” he growled in greeting, and then his eyes slid shut. “Right . . . okay.”

The call was over before it began, and then Lucas was standing there with his eyes closed and his hand in front of him, like he didn’t know what to do with it or the phone he was still holding.

“Who was that?” I asked softly, in case anyone close enough to us was listening. The women here weren’t allowed to ask questions as simple as that one. When Lucas didn’t respond, I asked, “Is it time?”

But I should’ve known that answer before Lucas shook his head. David wouldn’t tell Lucas what time they were storming in—only that it was tonight.

“It was the driver,” he finally said, and then released a slow, weighted breath. “Briar, I think you should go lie down.”

I wanted to. I wanted to so badly that I was ready to cry just at the thought of the relief that would come from lying down. But I didn’t know where I could in this hall, and with William’s threat, I knew I wasn’t supposed to leave Lucas’s side. “I don’t—I wouldn’t know where we could go, and—”

He looked up at me then, and his voice was tight when he said, “Briar, you don’t feel well. It’s time you lie down.”

My head tilted to the side as confusion filled my already exhausted mind, but I couldn’t force it to continue shaking when I realized what he was saying. “What?”

“The driver will be waiting for you, go lie down in the car. I’ll be there—”

“Lucas, no,” I whispered, and started to reach for him, but managed to stop myself that time. “Don’t do this,” I pled, not caring if anyone could hear me.

He and I both knew women weren’t allowed to leave the celebration until it was over, just as I knew I couldn’t disobey an order from him if anyone else was listening. He was trying to get me out before everything could happen. After the extensive planning and all the lessons in defense, he was still trying to get me out. He still planned on putting himself in a dangerous position by making me go and leaving him here alone.

My head spun, or maybe that was the room again.

“Luc—” I swayed forward, but managed to steady myself. My hand automatically flew to my stomach when it rolled.

“Briar,” Lucas said in a soft, pleading tone. I looked up to find his eyes locked on my stomach—his expression revealing his panic and denial. “Briar, tell me what’s happening.”

“Lucas, Lucas, Lucas . . .” a cold, charmingly accented voice said from beside us.

A chill rushed up my spine as Lucas’s panic morphed into unrestrained shock and dread, then I looked down to a pair of pale blue eyes.