Sing

Briar

“Jesus Christ, Briar,” Kyle said when he pulled away. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and his hands were cradling mine so his thumbs could brush my tears away. “Jesus Christ,” he repeated. “I thought you were gone forever.” He pressed a rough kiss to my mouth again, and I tried desperately to hold on to him so I wouldn’t fall.

I felt weak. It felt like my body wouldn’t respond the way I needed it to anymore after what I had done to William. I felt betrayed by my body’s inability to do what I needed it to. I felt so confused . . .

Because Kyle was there, and I couldn’t figure out how or why. But his mouth on my own let me know this was real and not a dream. And his mouth felt comforting, like an old blanket, but it felt wrong. It felt so wrong. And I didn’t have the strength to push him away.

Seeing him after everything that had happened tonight was too much, and I felt so close to breaking.

“I’ve got you; you’re gonna be okay. I’ve got you; you’re gonna be okay. I love you . . . until we’re old and gray, Briar Rose,” he whispered, and I managed to jerk my head away before he could kiss me again.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice sounding weak and breathless.

“I’m here to take you home.”

“No,” I said quickly, stopping his mouth just a breath from mine. “No, how are you here.”

“The guy working with the FBI. Luke, or whatever his name is,” Kyle said on a rush. “He contacted me to let me know where you were, and where you were going to be tonight so I could get you out of here.”

Betrayal hit me swift and deep, forcing the air from my lungs, and I looked up to my devil—but he wasn’t there.

He wasn’t anywhere.

“No.” Horror dripped from the word. “No, no! I have to go,” I said as forcefully as I could.

The EMTs checking my vitals had left at some point after Kyle had jumped into the back of the ambulance, and one rounded the rear door when he heard me.

“We should really finish checking—”

“I have to go,” I cried out, struggling to get from Kyle’s grasp and off the gurney.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Kyle asked frantically as he helped me down. “You’re safe; no one’s going to touch you again. I’m going to get you—”

“Lucas,” I yelled over Kyle’s assurances, and avoided his eyes when he suddenly stilled.

“Babe . . .”

“Lu—Trent!” I yelled again as I turned in slow circles, looking for my devil, but my voice barely held any power behind it. My body went numb when I didn’t see him, and overwhelming panic clawed at me.

“Briar, he was working undercover for the FBI,” Kyle said gently and slid an arm around my waist to pull me closer. “But I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you thinking he was one of the people in this trafficking ring. We’ll find someone you can talk to.”

I pushed feebly against his chest, unable to move against his hold. “I don’t need someone to talk to, I need—” I broke off when I saw him in the distance talking with a group of men, his head hanging low and his hand gripping the back of his neck. “Devil,” I whispered, and somehow, impossibly, my devil’s head snapped up, and he looked over at me.

I took a step in his direction at the same second he took one in mine, but Kyle stopped me. “I’m gonna get you help, Briar Rose, I swear to God.” He looked as horrified as he sounded. He swallowed roughly a couple times before he managed to say, “It’s . . . it’s normal to feel something for a person that held you captive—especially that long. But even though he was undercover, that’s all he was to you. Your captor.”

“No, he wasn’t, you don’t understand.”

“Briar, he—”

“I love him, Kyle,” I shouted, but my voice was still just above a whisper.

His blue eyes widened with shock. “What the hell?” he asked softly, and his hold tightened.

Hard sobs wracked my chest, and I stopped trying to get away from him. Lifting a shaking hand up, I cradled his face and spoke through my tears. “I love you. I tried to get back to you in the beginning.”

“What the fuck are you saying? What the fuck did he do to you?”

“I know who he is, Kyle. I know he’s undercover. I’ve known for months. But even before that, I . . .” A sob caught in my throat. “I stopped trying to get away. He gave me opportunities to go, even bought me a ticket home, and I didn’t take them. It wasn’t because of any syndrome or anything else you might think—it was just him. I fell in love with him.”

Kyle looked as if I’d just torn him open to let him bleed out, but the denial was there in his eyes. “No. No, Briar, no. That’s Stockholm—”

“It’s not. Not with him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I pushed against his hold, and his arms loosened but didn’t fall.

I turned toward my devil. He was waiting about halfway from where I’d last seen him, but he only took a step before Kyle tightened his arms around me and pulled me back.

Kyle’s blue eyes looked like he was in so much pain, and his jaw clenched as he pled, “Briar, don’t do this.”

“I can sing with him,” I said softly, and watched the impact of my words on the man I had once seen a future with.

None of what I had said had hurt him as much as that confession.

“I hate that I’m hurting you. I hate that you’ve hurt this whole time,” I said through the tightening of my throat. “Please forgive me, Kyle. I never wanted you to find out this way.”

“Babe, I—Jesus Christ.” Fresh tears filled his eyes as he pled again, “Briar, don’t do this. You’re confused, you’ve gone through something . . . fuck, something so traumatic, and you’re not thinking clearly.”

After what we’d just gone through, the need to get to where my heart was waiting for me was overwhelming and made it nearly impossible to focus on what was right in front of me. But I owed Kyle so many apologies and explanations that would take time . . . hours and days and weeks.

And right then, I owed him that moment.

I curled my hands around his head and pressed my forehead to his. “Know that I love you . . .”

“Briar, don’t—”

“. . . and I’ll love you forever.”

“We’re supposed to be forever,” he gritted out. “Until we’re old and gray.”

“Please try to understand. Please try to forgive me. We had plans, but life changed them. I hate imagining the grief you lived with. I promise I would’ve put an end to it if I could’ve.” Tears slipped down my cheeks when I whispered, “All I want is for you to be happy.”

“You are what makes me happy.”

I slowly released his face and searched his heartbroken eyes. “Please . . . let me go. I’m not that girl anymore.”

“Briar.” My name was nothing more than a forced breath.

Nearly a minute passed as he strained to digest what I was saying, before his arms fell limply to his sides, and he slowly backed away, his head shaking subtly as he did.

“I . . . I don’t—” Another pained breath left him, and with one last agonizing look, he turned and staggered away.

I watched until he rounded the ambulance before I turned to find my devil . . . my heart . . . my home.

Lucas—Trent—watched me carefully as I walked toward him, and when I was nearly halfway he stalked toward me, quickly eating up the rest of the distance.

“You idiot,” I seethed as he got closer.

“I know, Blackbird,” he whispered just before he pulled me into his arms and pressed his mouth to mine.

His lips moved against mine roughly, his hands gripping me tightly, but his tongue slid against mine in a slow, torturous dance that could’ve made me forget about the night and everything that it had been filled with, if it weren’t for the intense ache in my chest.

“You idiot,” I repeated when his mouth moved to my jaw and then down my throat.

“I had to,” he whispered when his lips met my collarbone. After one last lingering kiss there, he dropped his forehead in the same spot and pulled me impossibly closer.

“Had to?” I mumbled and wove my hands through his hair to bring his face in front of mine. “I chose you long ago. Why couldn’t you see that?”

That devastating smile tugged at his lips, and his head shook once. “I know you did.” The smile fell, and he let out a heavy breath. “But I didn’t think I’d make it out alive, and I knew you planned to be with me every step of the way. He was the only way you’d leave—the only way to get you to safety once it all went wrong.” He brushed his thumb over my lips, and a ghost of a smile played on his. “And even though your safe way out was waiting for you, your stubbornness almost got you killed anyway.”

“It’s where I belong,” I said simply.

There was a long pause before he said gruffly, “You didn’t stop him when he kissed you.”

“I didn’t have the strength to. I didn’t have the strength to move until I realized you were gone.” I searched his dark eyes, seeing the pain there, and asked, “Is that why you left?”

“I couldn’t watch my worst fear play out in front of me.”

“He knows where I stand now,” I said softly. “He knows I can’t be without you.”

An ache for the man I had loved flared in my chest, but it was nothing compared to the thought of losing the one holding me.

“Trent?” I asked hesitantly. “Trent Cruz.”

My devil regarded me silently for a few moments before dipping his head once in confirmation.

“That might take some time to get used to.”

“Briar,” he began warily, “have you ever thought what being with me means?” When I didn’t respond, he continued, “I told you I was going into witness protection before I was pulled into this life. I was just told that the last of the trials ended a few months ago, every last member of my crew is in prison—and they’re going to be there for a long time. That doesn’t mean they won’t have people who look for me. So even though this bust will be all over the news, I’ve been assured I won’t be.

He searched my eyes and dipped his head close as he whispered, “I won’t be leaving here as Trent Cruz, because I’d have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I can’t live like that, and I won’t do that to you. But the second I stepped out of that building, I was no longer Lucas Holt. The house, the cars, the money . . . it’s all gone except for what I made working at the company. The FBI have assured me of that, but I’ll still be starting over again.”

“When have I ever wanted the money you had?” I asked just as softly. “I don’t need Lucas Holt, and I don’t need a name from who you were a lifetime ago. As long as my devil is by my side, I have everything I’ll ever need.”

His lips brushed against mine softly, tenderly. The hand on my face dropped to my waist, and then the back of his knuckles trailed across my stomach in question.

My breath caught, and I looked up to find his knowing stare locked on me.

“Tell me,” he began, his tone pleading, and his hand flattened against my stomach protectively, lovingly. “Tell me why you’re lightheaded and weak.”

Fresh tears sprang to my eyes, and I choked out a soft cry. “You already know, Devil.”

His eyes slid shut like he was in pain seconds before he fell roughly to his knees. He gripped my hips in his hands and pressed his forehead to my stomach, and stayed like that for long moments as I dragged my hand through his hair and cried silently.

And as I stood there with my devil kneeling before me, relief swirled through me when I realized we were both finally free.

“Almost lost you both,” he murmured as he lifted his head to press his lips to my stomach. “I can’t lose you.”

“I know, but you won’t,” I said softly, soothingly. “We promised each other forever.”

“Forever,” he vowed.