When he breaks the kiss I’m dizzy, it feels as if I’m drunk. Everything he’s ever done to me has left me with lasting memories. Yes, we’ve been through some dark times. Our path was never easy, but we made it through.

I’ve been hesitant about trying more intense play since we found each other again. After being in that house, using my body to forget the pain, I don’t know how I’ll handle being bound, blindfolded and dominated.

When I was at Inferno, I played the part, but this feels different. With Kael I have all those memories racing back, but I think it’s time to test the waters. To see if I can handle more.

“I wish we had a better start,” he says, and sadness flickers in his eyes.

“I do too, but we are stronger for it. I know I am. Yes, there are times it still haunts me. That house, those men, the pain... Perhaps I’ll never get over it completely, but I want to try.” The words come easily when I lose myself in his deep brown eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s something we do need to talk about.” He stares at me causally, as butterflies awaken in my belly. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I should just be honest and tell him I’m ready to play again. For him to dominate me. “So, uhm…” I mumble while stroking his chest absentmindedly. The silence is deafening and I’m sure he can hear my heart beating wildly at the thought of what I’m about to ask. Thud. Thud. Thud.

He pins his chocolate gaze on me in curiosity. “What’s wrong, Paige?” His question is wary at best and he should be because this isn’t going to be easy.

“Well, I was just thinking it’s been a long time that we’ve had time to experiment, or had time to be…I mean I haven’t really been with anyone I cared for. The past year since you found me has given me more confidence. Being submissive to someone was, and still is, difficult for me.”

“Paige, you know as much as I’d like to take you and play out a scene, I don’t want you to do it because of me. I need you to be comfortable. You’ve been through too much for us to even consider—”

“That’s… I mean…” Sighing, I push off his lap. He watches me closely as I pad over to the small cabinet, where I know he’s hidden the pretty item that he’s probably dying to see on my neck. I thought my fear would have it lost forever, but when I found it, I knew I needed to be strong enough to wear it.

“What are you doing?”

I don’t respond, instead, I open the safe and pull out the sleek silver box. “Were you ever going to give this to me?” When his dark gaze falls on the box, a small smirk lifts the corner of his mouth.

“Were you snooping?” he growls, pushing off the sofa and sauntering over to me with his confident stride. Once we’re close, he takes the box and snaps it open. “Do you want this?” He sounds unsure. I was scared last week. Fuck I was afraid this morning, but after telling him everything, I can’t deny how much I want and need him.

“I want you, Kael.”

“You know what this means, Phoenix?” he murmurs the nickname he gave me when he found me at Inferno. I nod. He only calls me that pet name when we’re about to play and I’m tingling with anticipation already.

As much as I’m wary and afraid. I need to try. He needs this and so do I. It’s part of who I am. Who he is. “Yes,” I affirm with confidence that I don’t fully feel. I shouldn’t enjoy this lifestyle. I shouldn’t get wet and needy when he spanks me or binds me to the bed.

Guilt sits heavily in my chest. Confusion seeps into my veins and disgust at what I endured still lingers. I want Kael to take it away. I want him to teach me to love who I am, what I am. His submissive.

Meeting his gaze again, I wait. He’s weighing what to do next, I recognize the flicker in his eyes as they flit between me and the silver choker with a small pendant hanging from it. The collar he bought when we first moved to Chicago. I only know this because I found it then, but I was too scared to ever think of being owned again.

“If this is what you want, if you’re sure, then I’ll collar you, Phoenix. I want you. I want to own you. Mind, body, and soul. But more than that, I want your heart. All of it.”

“And I want you,” I murmur, dropping to my knees and offering him my presentation pose. Even though I’m not naked, the action allows me to bare my soul to him. A hiss of approval falls from his mouth.

He’s tentative, I can tell by his posture and the way he regards me. But when I glance up, it’s all there. Everything he’s hidden since we found each other again. And I want it. I want the monster he hides. “Fuck you’re so beautiful submitting for me.”

“I’m yours,” I whisper.

“I want you in the bedroom, naked, kneeling, present yourself to me. We’ll play a scene. Once you’re coming on my mouth, fingers, and cock, I’ll know you’re ready. Then and only then will I collar you.” With that, he turns and leaves me on the floor. I know what he’s doing. He’s not taking control just yet. He’s allowing me a choice. Something I never had when we were together in Caged.

Rising, I pad to our bedroom knowing exactly what I want. It’s in my heart. I’m always going to be his. And it’s time to give him my all.