Caspian never said yes to my proposal. He also never gave me a definitive no. Neither is surprising. We don’t really talk. We fuck.

I’m not complaining. The sex is amazing, but I need to figure out what is going on in Caspian’s head to have a chance of getting free.

I woke up this morning without a nightmare. Which means Caspian slept in the bed with me last night. He only has twice. Usually, he sleeps on the couch in the living room. He hasn’t said he doesn’t like sleeping with me. But I assume it crosses some line in his book. Makes whatever this is, too relationship-y. But I want him in my bed every night. He keeps my demons away.

I put on some jeans and a fitted white shirt that makes my boobs look fantastic. I comb my long hair and then hurry out to see if I can find Caspian before he leaves for work, or wherever he goes when he isn’t here.

“He’s not here,” Adela says, stopping me as I reach the kitchen.

She sits at a barstool eating her breakfast. Michi is in the kitchen cooking omelettes.

I frown as I glance at the clock on the microwave. It’s seven in the morning. I didn’t exactly sleep in, but I have no idea what time Caspian usually wakes.

She smiles at me. “Don’t worry; he didn’t run out on you on purpose. He had a meeting. That’s why I came over so early: to keep you company.”

Adela’s voice is strong and happy. She reminds me of myself before life destroyed me.

I don’t have the heart to tell her even if he was here this morning; it wouldn’t mean we would have some romantic moment. Her eyes seem too hopeful for a relationship that will never happen between us.

“You mean you are here to make sure I don’t run away.”

I take a seat next to her as Michi pours me a cup of coffee. He’s whistling to himself, ignoring my sharp words.

My words don’t faze Adela. “I don’t need to be here to make sure you don’t run. You won’t run.”

I shake my head. “You Contis underestimate me.”

She chuckles. “I don’t think Caspian underestimates you at all. I think that’s why he’s fascinated with you. He doesn’t know what to do with you. And I’m not a Conti by the way, so don’t group me in with him.”

“I thought you were his sister?”

“I am. I’m just married. I’m a Caruso now.”

I stare at her in disbelief. I never expected her to be married. To have some resemblance of a normal life.

She smiles. “I’ve shocked you.”

I nod.

“Good, I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Omelette, okay?” Michi asks.

“Of course.”

He places the omelette in front of me. “My cooking may not be as good as Caspian’s, but mine is more reliable.”

I chuckle. “Caspian told you?”

He gives me a wink. “Yes, I guess I will have to work harder to gain your approval.”

“Your food is amazing. It’s just—”

“Caspian’s is better. You’re wrong, but I get it. When you love someone, it’s easy to look past their faults.”

“I do not love Caspian! He’s holding me captive. How could I love someone who took away my freedom?”

Adela sinks in her chair, as her and Michi exchange knowing glances.

Michi shakes his head at me. “Love is strange. You don’t get to choose it. It chooses you. I believe you if you don’t love him now, just be careful. Love sneaks up on you when you least expect it to.”

I take a bite of my omelette. I’m not going to argue with Michi about loving Caspian. It’s not possible for me to love a man who took my independence away, my choices away, for even one second.

I turn to Adela as Michi starts cleaning the dishes in the sink.

“You have the security footage of Dante’s house?”

She nods slowly, only looking at me out of the corner of her eye as she tries to sip her coffee casually.

“You had a camera in the room where I was kept?”

She nods even slower.

“I need to see. I need to know Caspian never touched me.”

She swallows her coffee, hard. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

She stands and walks slowly toward the front door, like if she walks slowly I might change my mind. She exits, and I think maybe she is leaving, rather than getting the recording. But a few minutes later, she returns with a computer in her hand.

She walks back next to me and opens the computer. She glances at Michi.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk down to town. Get us some nice wine to enjoy with our pasta tonight,” he says before walking out the front door.

Adela turns to me. “What do you want to see?”

“The night that five men came.”

She nods. She starts typing into the computer searching files, and then she clicks on a video.

She turns the computer back to me. “Do you want me to stay or give you some time?”

“You’ve already seen it?”

She nods. “I spent most of my time since Dante captured you monitoring you.”

“Why?”

“Because Caspian couldn’t. He wanted to make sure you were still okay.”

My heart hurts. How could he think I was still okay when he knew what Dante was doing to me? How could he wait so long to rescue me?

“It killed Caspian to leave you there. I know he hasn’t told you why yet. I’ve told him he needs to tell you why soon. I don’t know if he will, but it’s not my place to explain. Just know he had a reason, and it tormented him every hour he left you with that monster.”

Her words don’t make me think any better of Caspian.

“I don’t care if you stay or not.” It’s the truth. She’s already seen the horror. I’ve experienced it. Watching it can’t be worse than feeling it.

I turn the computer toward me so I can have a good view. And then I press play.

“I think I’ll stay,” Adela says softly, sitting next to me.

I don’t look at her. I can’t take my eyes off the completely broken version of myself lying in the room.

There is no audio. It’s a good thing, because I could probably hear my broken heart beating so weakly, if I weren’t sitting here right now I would think the woman on the video was about to die. I would have.

Dante enters with five men on his tail. All look strong and defiant. He makes a joke and they all chuckle as he kicks me hard. That part was real. Then a man with a similar build to Caspian steps forward. The man has a similar build and similar eyes. But this man is skinnier than Caspian. He’s weaker. He could pass as a distant cousin of Caspian, but he’s not him.

I watch as he kicks me and I feel the ache in my ribs. I watch as I’m dragged to the bed. It’s like I’m there, but I’m not. I’m floating in a cloud looking down at my naked and bruised body, helpless to save myself from the fate that awaits me.

I’m tied to the bed. And then the coward settles between my legs before knocking me out. He could see my need for revenge in my eyes. He knew I would come after him if I remembered what he did. So he tried to take away my memories.

But I will never forget his face. Not until I’ve killed him.

I continue watching. I watch each thrust, each grab of my breasts, each punch to the gut.

A tear escapes my eye as I watch. It’s painful and horrible, and exactly what I needed to remember Caspian isn’t much better. He wanted to do the same thing to me. He’s locking me up, keeping me from seeking my revenge.

My tears turn to flames fanning an invisible fire growing stronger as each second of the video passes. I watch each man climb on top of me and use my body like they use a piece of exercise equipment. Like I’m not human.

Finally, it’s Dante’s turn, but I don’t need to see what he does to me. I remember every second of him.

I close the computer. I’m not sure if I’m stronger or weaker for watching it.

“Stronger,” Adela says as I wipe the tears from my cheek on the back of my hand.

“What?” I whisper, my voice hoarse.

“You are strong, Gia. The strongest. No one can take that from you. That’s one of the reasons you stayed as long as you did. You were strong. You survived until we could get you out. And you’re stronger now.”

I smile weakly. “You are definitely a Conti, no matter what your last name is now. I don’t know how you guys do it, but you are always able to read my mind.”

“I’ve been watching you for a long time. I have a good idea of what you are thinking.”

I nod.

“I need something to drink,” I finally say.

She jumps up. “We have wine or whiskey or vodka or…”

“Whiskey.”

She fixes an overfilled glass and slides it to me.

“You aren’t going to join me?” I ask. It’s eight in the morning. It’s not surprising that she won’t drink with me.

“I would, but I can’t.”

“Work?”

“No.” She pauses. “Can you keep a secret?”

I shrug. “Sometimes.”

“I think you will be able to keep this one. I’m pregnant!”

“Congratulations!” I say staring down at the invisible bump under her dark grey T-shirt.

“But why is it a secret?”

“Because if I told Caspian, there is a chance he wouldn’t let me work as hard or would put me on desk detail instead of helping him. He’s never denied me the ability to do what I love before, but I’m afraid if I tell him I’m pregnant, he won’t let me continue working for him. Caspian has always trusted me with my safety. He’s let me make my own choices. He knows I can take care of myself and kick anyone’s butt when need be. He’s never told me I can’t before. That’s what is so great about our relationship: we are a perfect team working together. He’s not my boss. We work together.”

I hate it, but I respect Caspian more for treating his sister this way. My brothers were always too protective of me. Never let me do anything without security and protection. I guess they were right to worry because of where I am now, but maybe if I had had the skills Adela has, I wouldn’t be here.

“But I’m afraid when Caspian finds out I’m pregnant he won’t be able to resist keeping me away from all of this to keep me safe.”

“I won’t tell Caspian. I promise.”

“Thank you. It’s so exciting to tell someone. I’m excited to be a mom, but I love working security.” Her arms go around me before I realize it.

And I melt in her arms. This is exactly what I needed. A hug from a friend.

Caspian might be dark, but there is nothing but warmth in Adela. She loves her brother, and it’s not her fault he has an evil side. I won’t fault her for that. She’s a friend. I just don’t think I can trust her judgment of Caspian.

There is no reason he should have left me with Dante if he could have saved me. If her words are true, there is nothing he could do to ever earn my forgiveness. He might have saved me, but nothing can save him from what he’s done.