It’s such a great feeling to be walking out the doors of the hospital. I’m still a little tender, but it’s nothing pain killers and rest won’t fix. Ms. Vi came to see me yesterday and assured me that my job is still there when I’m up for coming back to work. Hell, she even brought me a bunch of flowers and my favorite chocolate. I’m actually surprised that she knew what my favorite chocolate was. Suzie hit things off with her, and now her attitude toward me has warmed.
I haven’t seen or heard from Roman since he left me two days earlier. I wonder if he did a runner, thinking I’ve told on him. I really want to talk to him, yell at him, or maybe just punch him in the face. He deserves everything he gets. Still, I can’t help my emotions and what he makes me feel. I hate that he holds a tiny piece of my heart. Right now, I wish he didn’t. I want to hate him so much. I want to inflict the same kind of pain on him he did on me.
“Are you right getting to the car?” Suzie asks.
Turning to face her, I smile. “Yes, I’m good. It’s great to get out of here.”
“Tell me about it. I’m looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight, and knowing that you’re safe under the same roof will put my heart at ease.”
My home is my safe place. I haven’t had the heart to tell her I want to go back to my apartment. Now seems like as good a time as any, I guess.
“Umm… Suzie, I’d really like to go back to my apartment.”
She stops walking.
I continue. “Please, Suzie. I’m safe there. I promise. I have all those extra locks on my doors, and I’ll keep every window locked and the curtains drawn at night.” I need her to let me have my space and be in my safe zone.
Suzie keeps walking, her pace a little faster now. She’s pissed. Guilt riddles my insides, and I want to take back what I said. I don’t want to sleep beside that hellhole, knowing full well that they took me as some kind of punishment or who knows why. I can only speculate now.
“Suzie, I can’t go back to that street right now. You’re more than welcome to come and stay with me. I’m not ready for the flood of memories that are going to haunt me the moment I set my eyes on that house. This time is different, my secrets are revealed and I can’t face that house again.” My voice cracks at my memories of the pain and suffering I went through under the roof of that house.
“Elenore, I knew you wouldn’t want to come back to my place. I’m not a silly old woman. I’ve prepared your apartment; there’s plenty of food and anything you might need. I won’t stay tonight because I just want to sleep in my own bed, but I’ll be over tomorrow to check on you. Now let’s get going and get you settled in at home.”
I can’t help but smile. She knows me so well.
I’m still hesitant to broach the subject of my biological parents with her. I want to meet them and I know Suzie will support me if I do. I can’t help but feel sad because I’ve missed out on my life with my real family. Not that Suzie isn’t my family, because she’s more my mother than my own mom. I’m sure my biological parents are waiting to hear something from me or Roman about meeting up. My priority is getting one hundred percent in my health again.
One person I haven’t heard from is Lewis. I thought he was my friend. Is he holding a grudge against me for going out with Roman or something? How could he not come and see me? A beat of anger slams right into me. Lewis will be receiving a piece of my mind after I’m settled in at home.
As if she reads my thoughts, Suzie says, “Oh dear, I ran into your friend. What’s his name… Lewis. He said he’s sorry he hasn’t come to visit; he’s been out of town for work, and he’ll come around when he gets back to check on you. I caught him when I came over a few days ago to restock your fridge.”
Well, that answers my question. Still, I’m mad at him.
Finally, we make it home, and I’m so excited to be back in my space. Opening the door of my apartment, a waft of some citrus air freshener hits my nose. I inhale, closing my eyes. I’m home. This scent is my familiar one that warms my soul, allowing me to feel a sense of peace.
Walking into my bedroom, nothing appears out of place. That’s until I spy a pile of old notebooks stacked on the bedside table. As quickly as I can, I pick them up, dropping them to the floor, and kicking them under the bed. I don’t want Suzie to see or read them. Did Roman leave them there? Does he have a key to my place? A cold spike stabs me down the back. My captor has been in my apartment. He knows more about me than anybody else. Was it my past that saved my life?
“Are you alright?” Suzie’s concerned voice calls from the kitchen. I take a few quick breaths and pull myself together.
“Yes, just putting some things away,” I lie as I dump my bag on the bed. Taking out my toiletries bag, I walk to the bathroom. Suzie had packed me a few things when she’d heard I was at the hospital.
I stop dead in my tracks, dropping my bag. There, stuck to my mirror, is a letter. I know immediately who it’s from. Roman. Stepping toward the note, I take it and read it.
Dear Elenore,
Again, I’m sorry for what I put you through. Yes, I could have come and spoken to you in person, but I’m afraid that you’ll turn me away. Yes, I’m the monster who took you, hurt you, and caused you to bleed. Now I’m asking for your help.
I came to your apartment to leave you this note and your journals after I saw Suzie leave. I know you don’t want Suzie to read them. No one but me has seen the words between the covers. I’m sorry you endured all that, then went through it again when I took you. My upbringing wasn’t so great, as I’ve told you before. I’m sure you have a million questions, and I’d be happy to answer them. Please forgive me and help me find who hurt you. You weren’t part of my plan. You were meant to be just another girl but you didn’t waver—you didn’t cry. You fought. Then your letter took me by surprise.
I do hope to be able to talk to you again. That you’ll allow me to be a part of your life. I know you don’t trust me but please let me show you that you can. I’ve put your phone in your bedside drawer. If you need anything, please call me.
Forever yours,
Your captor
What game is he playing at? How am I meant to help him? Do I want to help him?
Footsteps come toward my room. I scramble to hide the note in my pocket and quickly collect my toiletries I’d dropped off the floor.
“There you are. I got worried when you didn’t answer me calling you.”
“Sorry Suzie. My head is all over the place at the moment.” I rub my forehead. Placing my bag on the hand basin, I turn to face her. “Are you staying for dinner?”
She shakes her head. “Not tonight, dear, but I’ve got dinner being delivered here in the next hour.”
Walking over, I wrap my arms around her.
She squeezes me tightly. “I’m so glad you’re still here. I couldn’t bear it if you were gone,” she cries, and I think all the tears she’s been holding back come flowing.
Poor Suzie. I hold her tighter. She’s kept everything together while I was recovering, and I’m glad I can be here for her now. Her sobs break me, and teardrops slip down my cheeks, too. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself to let go of everything.
“It’s alright, Suzie. I’m here,” I whisper. She pulls back, wiping away the dampness on her face.
“Alright, I’ll let you get settled. If you need anything please call me. Roman said he’d stop by and drop your phone off, it was found at the scene you were taken from. Ring me later, or I’ll be here giving you grief.” She gives a small laugh and I smile back.
“Thanks, Suzie.”
Giving me a kiss on the cheek, she leaves me to my own thoughts. It’s such an amazing sensation knowing I’ve survived, though the cloud of darkness still lurks around me, in the form of my captor.
I desperately want to hate him. Despise him. But he’s made me feel things I’ve not felt before. He’s caused my heart to stutter and my stomach to twist itself into a million knots. What am I going to do?
Heading to my bedside table, I grab my phone and type a message to Roman.
Me: I want answers.
My finger hovers over the send button for a moment. With my heart racing, I press down on the screen.