JACOB
You are not your own, you were bought at a price. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
My mind raced the entire drive home. What could be done with a woman who didn’t even know her own identity? How could I cure years of brainwashing or torment, abuse or restrictions? What had he done to her to break her so completely?
I knew well the games Jericho – Elijah – could play. I’d played them all myself in a time long past.
Pulling up into the driveway, I found Sister Joyce walking out the back door in an apparent hurry. Her robe flew out behind her from the speed of her pace. Climbing out of my car, I called out, “Sister? Is something wrong?”
Flustered by my sudden interruption, she tripped over her own feet when she turned, catching herself before falling down. Placing her hand over her chest, she replied, “Oh, Father Hayle. You scared me.”
“Has something happened with the woman…with Eve?”
“No, Father. I’m scheduled to read to a children’s group at the hospital today. However, I’ve been concerned about leaving the woman unattended. I waited as long as I could, but…”
Her anxiety was clearly written over her expression and movements.
I raised a hand to silence her. “It’s okay, Sister. I didn’t expect you to keep watch over her all afternoon. Is she still in the bedroom?”
“Yes. She’s been in the room since you’ve left. I’ve knocked on the door but she hasn’t responded. Did you discover who she is? What’s been done to her?” Whispering her last question, she hugged her Bible tighter to her chest.
There was no point in upsetting her further with the details. The less she knew, the better at this point.
Deciding to keep Sister Joyce separate from Eve until a time came when I could fully evaluate her, I said, “Take your time at the hospital, Sister. I’ll tend to Eve. You can also return to the convent for a few days. I won’t be needing you again until Saturday to prepare for Sunday Mass.”
She looked confused, her eyebrows furrowing from a question she chose not to voice. Nodding her head, she answered, “Anything you say, Father. You are always wise.”
I nodded in response and left her to her task.
Walking inside the parish, I was haunted by my own footsteps. Death could not have been more silent than the halls and rooms of the building. Every slight noise echoed through the empty space as I made my way to Eve.
Pulling a key from my pocket, I unlocked the door, hesitating as I turned the handle.
The old wood creaked in complaint to the movement of the door, but the sound of shock on my breath was louder.
My eyes moved over her milk white skin, the vertebrae of her spine just barely showing along her back. Her dark hair was pulled to the side, hanging down like a curtain to shield her.
I trust you, Jacob. Always you. Only you…
My memory whispered to me of my sins, warning me away from the young woman lying on the ground in front of me.
Eve didn’t look up as I entered. I took three steps and knelt down to lay my hands on her outstretched arms.
“Eve.”
Cold and dry, her skin felt like silk beneath my fingertips. She was dirty from her venture in the woods, still marked and bruised from whatever had happened to her. Other than that, I could see no marks or other imperfections, except for the red and raw burn on her shoulder.
Worry flooded me, spinning me in place until I wasn’t sure what direction I was facing.
“Eve, look at me.”
Pushing my hand beneath the fall of her hair, I cupped her cheek and lifted her face from the floor. A red mark ran over her forehead, her eyes stained the same red. She must have been crying for hours.
“I need you to get up, Eve.”
It had been my intent to only use her real name, but at that moment she was so lost in her fear that I went along with whatever she believed.
She was Eve and I was Elijah.
My heart was heavy with dishonesty, but I lied with the hope that once she was functional again, she would be able to learn the truth without it sending her back into a panicked state. I had no choice but to play out the fantasy in order to help her understand how she’d been deceived.
Keeping my voice soft, I said, “You need to follow me. You need a bath and you need to eat.”
She hesitated, her lashes fluttering over her swollen eyes. Moonlight poured in from the window, glowing against the hair that framed her face. Her expression was grief stricken, but when I spoke, her eyes flickered with the hope she carried.
“Will it please you?” Rough from not having been used in hours, her voice still rang out like that of an angel. The pitch wasn’t too high or low. I closed my eyes against the way it vibrated across my skin.
A twinge of lust whispered into my thoughts, guilt following closely in its wake. What kind of monster was I to have any attraction to this woman? She was exposed and vulnerable, naïve and alone.
Clearing my throat, I took a deep breath and answered, “Your health pleases me. Your health and cleanliness pleases God.”
On a whisper, she said, “My body is his temple.”
My eyes closed again, the lids falling down heavily at her words. “Yes.”
“I was bought for a price.”
Anger touched my mind, feathering across my thoughts at how Elijah had perverted the faith to hurt her. She was quoting scripture while surrendering herself to the man she thought I was.
Unable to disguise how I felt, my voice was firm when I said, “Not by me. You weren’t bought by me. Stand up. There’s a bath in the rectory. You can use that for now.”
She jumped at the harshness in my voice, her eyes opening wide in fear. “I’m sorry. I was only repeating what you’ve taught me, I…”
Placing my finger over her lips, I quieted her.
“You have nothing be sorry for.” I held my finger to her lips for too long, caught in the spell of the heat of her breath over my palm.
Pulling away, I stood up and stepped back, unable to pull my eyes from her. When she moved, the muscles of her body were fluid beneath her skin. Long hair fell down from across her shoulder and my eyes settled on the mark I’d seen previously. She moved again so that I was no longer able to look closely at it, but I lost my ability to care when she was finally on her feet.
It was due to my own mistakes that I’d sworn my life to the Church … to God. Still, there was something left over, a stirring of tastes and desires I’d had in my youth, and it wasn’t until now that I realized I still had the capacity to feel.
Swallowed by my slow heat, a rush of blood hissed beneath my skin. Sweat broke out over my body and I turned away when she was standing before me.
But not soon enough.
Before I could avert my eyes, I’d already caught sight of the swell of her breasts, the perfect curve of her full hips. I turned completely, not able to hide my reaction to her skin. My body tightened in memory of the pleasures of flesh. Wicked thoughts seeped in, dark and disturbing, reminding me of a time when sex had been the ultimate power.
Who owns you?
You do, Jacob….forever…
My fists clenched at the memory, my head falling back in response to the nightmare I would never be able to escape.
Forever…
Her eyes dull with the loss of life, her trust broken by a man who didn’t know when to stop. Forever was a truth she never had the chance to understand.
I forced myself back to the present.
“You’ll need clothes. I believe there are some baptismal robes you can use until I can get into town and buy you something else.”
“If that is what you want. I don’t mind being exposed to you. I’m not ashamed anymore.”
Breathing with slow pulls of air, I tempered my resolve. Her voice, the reverence and absolute adoration, she would do anything I asked.
You can’t understand the feeling of control until you’ve held it, until you’ve heard your name roll off a woman’s lips with no will of her own. Almost as if the name belonged there, a necessary part of her existence.
“It’s what I want.”
I was a priest for Christ’s sake, yet none of the thoughts I had about this woman were proper or pure.
“Then it’s what I’ll do.”
No hesitation, no question, nothing. She was certain in her resolve to follow me blindly, to do everything I said, exactly as I told her to do it.
My heart hurt for Eve even though something far darker was awakening inside. For a split second, I regretted my decision to send Sister Joyce back to the convent. She could have tended to Eve: clothed her, fed her, bathed her. But she would have also been a witness to Eve’s mental instability. She would have called the authorities while I was away, would have called for an ambulance if Eve’s health had concerned her.
I couldn’t allow Eve to be taken away. They’d only return her to the man who had created her in the first place.
“I want you to be clothed in my presence. It doesn’t please me to see your skin. God is watching. Always remember that.”
She flinched at the censure in my tone.
Moving through the doorway into the hall, I ignored the sound of her grief. My thoughts returned to Jericho, to what he’d obviously done so that my rejection of her naked body could reduce her to tears.
Our steps weren’t hurried as we wound through the halls and common areas in route to the rectory. She sniffled as she walked, but I refused to look back or attempt to console her.
Wearing temptation like a cloak, Eve was dangerous to a man like me.
My life before this moment had been dark.
Jericho knew that both he and I had secrets, habits that we never spoke about except to each other. I’d carried those secrets and tastes with me to college. I’d reveled in the freedom to sin.
My unhindered corruption came to a crashing halt on one drunken evening. I’d lost control and I’d lost the woman I loved.
I gave myself back to God after that night, both in surrender and as restitution for having taken a young woman’s life.