CHAPTER FIFTEEN

 

Jules

 

“THANKS FOR COMING with me today, Ella.”

She pulls up to the curb in front of my house and shuts her car off. “It was really no problem. I needed to stop by the store anyway, so two birds….” She ends with a smile and a shrug.

“You want to come in for a few minutes?” I ask, reaching for my door handle.

“Sure.” She looks at her phone. “Vicki’s not due home for a couple more hours.”

We get out and walk up to the house. I feel my pockets for the house key Theo gave me this morning and wince when I don’t find it.

“Crap,” I mutter, then look at Ella sheepishly. “We’re screwed. I must have left the house key on the kitchen counter.”

She laughs and pats my shoulder then walks over to the concrete steps. After rustling with the leaves beside them, she stands back up with a big grin on her face and holds out her hand, producing a key.

“Not screwed. I know where my brother keeps his hide-a-key.”

“Thank goodness,” I respond with a relieved smile.

She unlocks the door then puts the key back where she got it and we make our way inside. After Ella’s initial guardedness toward me the first day we met, we’ve sort of become friends. One morning, while Theo was shaving, his phone rang. I brought him his phone, but he told me to answer it for him since he was busy. The conversation was stiff in the beginning, but after a while, things became more relaxed. She’s called me on my phone several times since then. When Theo suggested Ella take me to my next doctor’s appointment, I was reluctant to ask, but did so anyway. I didn’t realize until she accepted how grateful I was. It meant Theo didn’t have to take me himself.

“Would you like something to drink?” I drop my phone on the counter beside the house key and go to the fridge. My stomach rumbles, reminding me I haven’t eaten today. I look at Ella over my shoulder. “And maybe something to eat?” I add with humor.

“Water’s good, but nothing to eat for me. But it sounds like you need to.”

Nodding, I grab a glass, fill it with water, and hand it to her before going to the fridge and grabbing out the makings for a salad. Today’s been a good day. My doctor’s appointment went well and having Ella around has been great. The only real communication I’ve had since being released from the hospital, besides talking to Ella or Helen on the phone, has been with Aria and Theo. I love being with Aria, she always finds a way to make me smile, but being around Theo is stressful. I’m always worried what he’ll do next. And there are times when he looks at me with an expression that downright scares me.

I’ve learned a lot from Ella today. She told me how she and Vicki met and the struggle she went through before she came into her life. She also spoke of Theo, explaining the type of person he normally is. It’s strange to think of him relaxed and joking. It’s a side of him I haven’t seen yet. He always seems so tense around me, but I chalk it up to his life taking a one-eighty turn since I woke up. Things have not only drastically changed for me, but for him as well.

When Luca was brought into the conversation, I couldn’t help the warm feeling that hit my chest. I listened avidly as she told me she worked with him in his shop, the one he bought from his dad years ago. I wanted to ask so many questions, but I refrained. It wasn’t my business to know more about Luca than she already gave on her own.

“How are things working out between you and Theo?”

Her question brings me back to the room. I continue chopping tomatoes as I answer with a shrug. “They’re okay. He’s been patient with me. It’s still weird to think I’m married. The last I knew, I had just graduated high school.”

I dump the tomato in the bowl and start on the cucumber.

“I can’t imagine waking up to find my life has totally changed.”

“It’s scary,” I admit.

“And your parents still aren’t talking to you?”

My hand tightens on the knife as pain tears through me. “No,” I answer softly.

Several seconds pass before Ella’s hard voice says, “I’m sorry, Jules. I know you love them, but they’re assholes for ignoring you.”

I nod, because she’s right. My feelings toward my parents alternate between anger and heartache. There’s no way I could ever abandon my child.

I glance to the doorway when I hear the front door open and close. A moment later, Theo appears in the kitchen.

“Hey.” I turn from the counter. “You’re home early.”

“I was in the neighborhood, dropping off a car, and decided to stop by and grab something for lunch.” He looks at Ella. “Hey.”

“‘Sup, brother,” she greets.

Theo moves toward me, and I tense. No matter how hard I work at it, he always makes me nervous when he’s near.

“You wanna put that away?” he says, jerking his chin to my hand. I look down and only then realize I’m still holding the knife.

“Sorry,” I mumble and place it on the counter. “Do you want me to make you a sandwich?”

He steps closer, putting him only inches away from me, and my eyes fly to Ella. She’s not paying us any mind as she looks down at her phone.

I hold my breath as his head lowers to mine. He presses his lips against mine. They feel cold and dry. When his hand lands on the side of my ribs, just below my breast, I barely hold back the need to shove him away from me.

Thankfully, the contact is only brief. He pulls back, and something flashes in his eyes. Anger? Annoyance? Displeasure? Whatever the look is, it leaves me trembling, and not in the good way.

“I’ll get something on the way back to work,” he says, stepping back from me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Okay. See you tonight.”

I turn back to the counter and start working on my salad again.

“Later, sis,” he says after a moment.

“Bye.”

When I hear his boots moving across the floor, I turn with my salad and go to the table. Ella’s watching Theo as he walks away, her expression one of confusion. When she turns back at me, the look is gone, but I still see something lingering in her eyes.

Doubt.

 

 

I SPRING AWAKE, a silent scream on my lips from the dream I was having. The dark silhouette of a man was there, and he was coming toward me. I tried moving, but my body was locked in place. When I opened my mouth to scream, nothing came out.

Luckily, something, I’m not sure what, pulled me from the dream. I lie there, trying to get my breathing back to normal, when something slithers down my spine. A feeling, one I don’t like, has a different kind of fear settling in my stomach. I sit up to look around the dark room and see movement in the corner by the closed bedroom door. A whimper leaves my lips when the shadow moves, reminding me of the dark figure in my dreams. Remembering that I’m no longer in my dream, therefore can scream, I open my mouth to do just that, when a voice stops me.

“Jules,” he says softly. “It’s just me.”

It takes me a moment to realize it’s Theo, and I sag back against the headboard.

“You scared the crap out of me, Theo.”

I pull in a relieved breath. Then a new kind of fear tries to take over. Blindly, I reach over and flip on the small unicorn lamp. The lamp doesn’t put off a lot of light, and what it does provide gives Theo an ominous look, which doesn’t help the shivers running over my arms.

“What are you doing in here?” I ask cautiously, and clutch the sheet and blanket closer to me.

He comes further into the light, and I notice he only has on a pair of sweatpants, leaving his muscular body bare. I lift my eyes back to his face and see his frown. He appears worried.

“You were crying in your sleep. When I came in to check on you, you were thrashing and getting louder. I closed the door so you didn’t wake Aria.”

“Oh.” I glance down at my hands and loosen my grip on the covers, feeling silly for suspecting him.

“Are you okay?”

I gather my hair in my hand and bring it over my shoulder to get it off my neck, suddenly feeling warm.

“Yes,” I answer.

I tense when he moves closer and sits on the side of the bed by my hip. He reaches out and fingers the end of my hair. When his knuckles barely graze my nipple, I don’t know if it’s on purpose or accident. Either way, I don’t like it, so I readjust the covers in my lap, making sure my arm pushes against his wrist so it moves away. His jaw tightens, but thankfully he drops his hand to his lap.

“What were you dreaming about?”

I snap my mouth closed, not wanting to rehash my dream. It’s already bad enough to have them; once I wake up, all I want to do is forget about them.

Theo sits patiently waiting for me to answer.

“I don’t remember.”

He looks at me doubtfully, and I squirm under his scrutiny. I wish he’d just leave so I can be alone again. I don’t see myself falling back asleep, but I’d rather be alone than have him in here with me. He still makes me feel uncomfortable.

“Maybe it was a memory?” he suggests, obviously not ready to let it go.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

When he reaches out and grabs my hand, I have to force myself not to snatch it back. He seems to like to touch me and finds any excuse to do so. While I’m getting used to the small touches, I still find myself breathing easier when the contact is over.

“You know, Jules, if you have any flashbacks or memories, you can tell me.”

I give him a small smile. “I know.”

“I just wish there was some way I could help you remember,” he says, looking down at our joined hands, his face bleak.

I give his fingers a squeeze, feeling selfish. This situation doesn’t just affect me, it affects Theo as well, and I know it hasn’t been easy on him.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him quietly.

The grim look disappears, and he smiles. “Don’t apologize about something you can’t control.”

I nod, then stiffen slightly when he lifts my hand and brings it to his lips. His breath is warm as he kisses the back of it. His lips linger against my skin for several moments before he puts my hand down and gets up from the bed. I let out a silent sigh of relief.

“I’ll let you get back to sleep. Is there anything you need before I go?”

“No, thanks.”

He stands there for another moment, his eyes darkening as he looks me over. When he suddenly turns and walks across the room, I relax for the first time since waking and finding him in the corner.

He stops at the door and turns back. “If you ever get scared, you can always come to my room. I’m sure Aria wouldn’t mind having her bed back.”

My stomach churns at the thought of sleeping with him. Then guilt fills me, because I’ve done virtually nothing to try and close the rift between us. Theo’s been very patient and understanding with me, and all I’ve done is feel sorry for myself and distance myself from him as much as possible. I’m making the situation worse by not trying to form a bond with him.

Swallowing, I tell him, “Maybe we can try that soon.”

The look that overcomes his face can’t be construed as anything other than pure happiness.

“Good night, Jules. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Theo.”

He opens the door and quietly closes it behind him. I scoot down until I’m lying flat in bed. I flick off the light and stare at the dark ceiling. As I think about the possibility of sleeping in the same bed as Theo, I subconsciously wipe away the residual feeling of his lips on the back of my hand.

 

 

I’M SITTING AT THE kitchen table eating leftover homemade chicken noodle soup. Aria, who’s already finished her dinner, is in the chair next to me, drawing. She’s surprisingly good for a girl her age. When she first showed me one of her drawings, I thought an accomplished adult drew it. I was shocked when she told me it was her. I like watching her draw. The girl can be hyper at times, but when she’s drawing, she’s calm and concentrated. It somehow soothes me to watch her in her element.

I notice the time on the stove and begin to worry. Theo was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago to see Aria off when Luca comes to pick her up. This isn’t the first time he’s been late. He says it’s because he’s been working late on a couple of cars for customers who want them repaired as soon as possible. I’ve smelled the hints of perfume on him and seen the smudges of red from lipstick on his neck that he wasn’t able to fully wipe away.

It doesn’t surprise me that Theo is seeing other women. It has to be hard living with someone you’re sexually attracted to—and I know he’s sexually attracted to me from the many heated looks he gives me—and not be able to act on that attraction.

What does surprise me is the lack of jealousy or anger on my part, knowing he’s been with other women. It’s actually a relief he’s expending that kind of energy on someone else. But I know that needs to change. I know once my memories come back, and I remember the feelings I once held for Theo, that relief will turn to hurt.

I get up and take my empty bowl to the sink, where I rinse it and put it in the dish drain. I sit back at the table.

“Are you excited to go to your uncle’s house?” I ask Aria.

“Uh-huh,” she answers without looking up. “I always have fun at Uncle Luca’s house.”

She sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth as she finishes up her picture. I can’t help but smile at the cute look.

“Do you go there a lot?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I go to my Gamma and Pa’s house or Aunt Ella and Aunt Vicki’s.”

I’ve only met Vicki once and haven’t spoken to her, but Theo’s told me she and Ella have been together since high school. I’ve see a few pictures of them together, and there’s no doubt they are in love. It shines brightly in their eyes.

Aria sets her pencil down and picks up the picture. After looking at it, she turns it to face me. “Do you like it?”

I grab the drawing from her and take a closer look. It’s a little bird sitting in a nest, her wings flared out as she protects the eggs underneath her. The intricate design of the nest is stunning, the lines are almost perfect. It surely doesn’t look like a child drew it. It amazes me how a girl so young could have such a steady hand.

I look back at Aria to find her watching me, her little brows pulled down into a frown, as if she’s worried I won’t like the picture.

I put as much enthusiasm in my voice as I feel and smile. “This is absolutely gorgeous, Aria. I love how the momma bird is protecting her baby eggs. You’re extremely talented.”

She beams a smile at me so bright, I swear I feel rays of warmth coming from her.

“Thank you. Uncle Luca said I take after him, Aunt Ella, and Pa. I want to work in his tattoo shop when I get old enough.”

I hold back my shock at Aria’s words, unable to imagine such a sweet girl working in a place like a tattoo shop. And the conviction in her tone says she’s perfectly serious. I wonder how Theo feels about the subject.

“I want you to have it,” Aria says, pulling me from my thoughts.

I look at her in surprise. “Are you sure? You don’t want to give it to your dad or Uncle Luca?”

“No. Daddy just puts them in a box in a closet,” she mutters. “And Uncle Luca already has a lot.”

My heart breaks at the sadness in her tone when she mentioned what Theo does with her drawings. I look over at the fridge and see not one drawing hanging there. You’d think Theo would be proud of her and want to show off her talent. Every household that has a child living in it should have a picture they’ve drawn on the fridge. A pang hits my chest when I remember Teresa’s pictures on my family’s fridge. They weren’t near as good as Aria’s, but they were still just as special.

I sniff to clear away the tightness in my throat. “Thank you. Do you mind if I hang it on the fridge?”

Her answering smile says I made the right choice. I walk over to the fridge, grab the business-card-size automotive magnet, and slip the drawing underneath it, making sure the magnet doesn’t cover any of the drawing.

“Whatcha think?” I turn back to Aria.

“Thanks, Jules,” Aria says, looking very happy.

A knock from the living room has us both looking to the kitchen doorway.

“That should be your uncle. Why don’t you pack up your drawing stuff while I let him in?”

“Okay.”

I leave Aria in the kitchen and cross the small living room. When I’m standing in front of the door, I look through the peephole. I’ve been warned a couple times by Theo to never open the door without looking to see who it is. Even without the warning, I wouldn’t have done so. I’ve only lived here a short time, but even I know we don’t live in a very good section of town.

When I see Luca standing on the other side of the door, I step back, but before I pull the door open, I drag in a deep breath. Luca makes me feel things I don’t ever remember feeling before. Not in a bad way; he just makes me more aware of myself. The couple of times I’ve seen him, I’ve felt his eyes on me. I’m curious about him, and from the looks he gives me, he’s curious about me too. He also makes me feel safe and protected. Out of everyone I’ve met since I woke up from my coma, it’s Luca I feel the most comfortable around.

I close my eyes and disregard the voice inside my head that says he makes me feel more than comfortable. Heat blazes in my cheeks, and I blow out a harsh breath, trying to push that feeling away. The last thing I want is for Luca to see me with flushed cheeks when I open the door.

When he knocks again, I know I’m out of time.

I unlock the sliding chain, then the dead bolt, before pulling open the door. As soon as I see him in the flesh, the darn heat comes back. Luckily, the porch light is crappy, so hopefully he doesn’t notice.

“Hello, Luca.”

“Jules,” his deep voice rumbles. I ignore the flutter in my stomach the raspiness causes.

Stepping back, I offer for him to come inside.

“Aria’s packing away her drawing stuff. Her overnight bag is there.” I point to the My Little Pony book bag by the door.

“Where’s Theo?”

I walk further into the living room before turning to face him. “Umm… I don’t know. He was supposed to be here forty minutes ago. He’s been working late the last few days for a client that needs his car fixed quickly.”

I know where he is, and while what he’s doing doesn’t bother me, it’s what he’s missing that does. He should be here to say goodbye to his daughter.

A muscle in Luca’s jaw twitches, and his eyes narrow. Anger marks his face, and I wonder what he’s thinking. Does he know what Theo’s out doing right now?

“Hey, Uncle Luca!” Aria runs across the room and throws herself against Luca’s legs. His face softens as he bends and scoops her up.

“You ready for The Wizard of Oz?”

“Yep, and this time I got popcorn. Daddy took me and Jules grocery shopping, and I made sure we got some.”

“Sounds good, but we have to eat dinner first or it’ll spoil it,” Luca warns with a smile. His already handsome face becomes striking when he smiles, and I can’t help but look at him.

“I’ve already had dinner,” Aria informs Luca, her legs swinging by his sides.

He looks surprised for a moment, then he moves his gaze to me.

“You fed her?” he asks, his brows arching.

His question and the surprised expression confuse me. Why would he think I wouldn’t feed her?

“Yeah. We had leftover chicken noodle soup that I made last night.”

He nods and looks back to Aria. “Are we taking Goodie tonight?”

“Nope. Jules said she’ll feed and hold him for me.”

He smirks. “Maybe she should just feed him, and you can hold him when you get back home,” he suggests.

“But Uncle Luca, he’ll get lonely,” she complains with a pout.

Luca laughs, and I can’t help but giggle with him. The look in her eyes when she thought about her hamster getting lonely is adorable.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind holding him.”

His eyes twinkle and a smile plays on his lips as he sets Aria down on her feet.

“Just make sure you wash your hands before you hold him. He likes the salt on your hands and will take a nip out of your skin if you don’t wash them first.”

“Oh, okay.” I rub my fingers, not looking forward to getting bitten by the small creature.

“Go tell Goodie bye.” He ruffles her hair before she has a chance to run off.

He takes a step closer to me once she’s out of the room and a warm spicy scent drifts around me. The smell seems familiar in an odd way. I draw in a deep breath, liking the smell and wanting more of it, then feel heat creep up my cheeks when Luca’s mouth tips up at one corner, totally catching me trying to get another whiff of him. Luckily, he doesn’t call me on it.

“Theo normally doesn’t bother to feed her on the nights she stays with me.” He explains his surprise from a moment ago.

I frown. “But why?”

Something flashes in his eyes before the look drops away. “The thing with Theo is he loves Aria a lot. He just doesn’t really know how to care for her like she should be, and he knows she’ll be fed at whoever’s house she’s staying at. That’s why Mom, Dad, Ella, and I are always around to take her when he needs us to.”

Sympathy hits me with this news. I’ve seen the way Theo is with Aria, and I can definitely see the love he has for her, but I also see the neglect at times. Forgetting to remind her to brush her teeth before bed, not brushing her hair after her bath, letting her make her own lunch in the mornings before school, or letting her eat sweets right before dinner are just a few examples. I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but the fact that it’s there at all is sad.

I’ve also noticed his lack of patience with her, and those times I want to snap at him. I don’t though, because she’s not my child and I have no right to tell him how to parent his kid. I’m still an outsider. As long as he never lays a hand on her I’ll keep my mouth shut and just do what I can behind his back to ensure she’s getting what she needs.

“Thank you for looking after her. Something tells me she’ll be better off with you here.”

My heart does a flip inside my chest and something warm settles in my stomach. Luca’s words mean a lot. I’ve been so restless lately with not remembering a part of my past. It’s left me feeling lost and alone. While Theo’s world has changed since I awoke, he at least has things and people around him that have always been there. With me, nothing is the same. It’s nice to know that although I may not like my situation at the moment, someone else is benefitting from it.

I smile and look at Aria as she comes back into the living room. “She’s special,” I tell him softly, and mean it.

“That she is.”

“I’m ready, Uncle Luca!” she says loudly, picking up her backpack and pulling it over her shoulders.

Once she’s done, she walks over to me and wraps her arms around my legs. I’m shocked for a moment. My worry over her being wary of me since the night she saw me and Theo in her room was unfounded. The next day, she was very open and talkative, like we had been friends for years. And the connection has only grown since, as we’ve spent a lot of time together. But I’m still surprised by her affection.

I pull away from her and look down. “How about I give you a proper hug?”

I squat down, and her arms go back around me, her hair hitting my face. Her little girl powdery scent hits me and emotions clog my throat. Once upon a time I wanted kids of my own. I still do, but it seems so unobtainable right now. I just can’t see myself having a baby with Theo, especially after what Luca said about him not caring for Aria as he should.

I look over Aria’s shoulder and my eyes meet Luca’s. Although they’re soft as he watches the exchange, there’s something dark in his crystalline blue gaze, almost mirroring a keen sense of sadness.

Before I have a chance to wonder about the poignant look, Aria release her arms from around me and places a kiss against my cheek. The little girl couldn’t be any sweeter if she tried.

“I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Okay,” she chirps.

As I open the door and the two walk out, I notice Luca has a firm grip on Aria’s hand, not letting her walk away without him. A brief look at the neighboring houses, and I understand why.

“Tell Theo I’ll have her back tomorrow around three.”

“I’ll let him know.”

“Lock the door once we leave.”

I nod. “All right.”

Luca gazes at me a moment longer, a strange look overcoming his face, before he turns with Aria and they walk down the sidewalk. I stand in the doorway as he secures her in her car seat, then walks around to the driver side. Instead of opening the door, he stands there and stares at me. It takes me a minute to realize what he wants. With a wave, I close the door, making sure to secure both locks.

I lean back against the wood, my knees unexpectedly feeling weak all of a sudden. After I’ve composed myself enough to where I won’t fall flat on my face, I push away from the door. As I walk across the living room back into the kitchen to tidy up, the warm, spicy scent hits me again, and I wonder once more why it seems familiar. Another thought filters in.

Why does the scent make me want to run to the source and throw myself into his warm embrace?

 

 

Luca

 

AFTER JULES CLOSES the door, I climb inside the truck.

“You ready to hit the road?” I ask Aria.

“Yes!” she squeals, making me chuckle.

Before I back out of the driveway, I grab my phone from the middle console. A sardonic smile curves my lips as I type out the text message.

Me: Just picked up Aria. You might want to be there the next time to say goodbye to your kid. Jules is looking good by the way.

I drop my phone in the cupholder, knowing damn good and well the message I sent is going to piss him off. That’s what the asshole gets for not being at home when he knew I was coming by. I don’t know for sure where he is, but I have my suspicions. It’s customary for Theo to be out whoring around on Fridays, and I don’t see this one being any different. It’s almost seven in the evening and he gets off at four thirty, if he even makes it that long. Jules’s excuse of him working late almost made me laugh, but my anger overruled it. Theo never works late.

My phone dings in the console. I back out of the driveway before picking it up and looking at the screen. It’s Theo’s response. I don’t look at the message, not needing to see the tirade I’m sure it will be.

Screw Theo. His ass should know better. It’s one thing to sleep with women while Jules was in a coma, but a whole different thing now that she’s awake and living with him. The thought makes me want to wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze.

He’s damn lucky his daughter was there, because I’m not sure I would have been able to hold back from taking Jules into my arms. I wanted to touch her so fucking bad. My emotions are all over the place regarding her. I shouldn’t want her, but I do. I shouldn’t have feelings for her, but I do. I know it’s wrong of me to want to touch her, considering she’s my sister-in-law, but damn it all to hell, I fucking do. I want her to be mine, not Theo’s. He doesn’t deserve her. And what makes it harder to hold back those feelings is she’s sweet and caring and shy. And she obviously adores Aria

“Can you turn the music on?” Aria requests, breaking into my thoughts.

“Sure can, squirt.”

I turn the knob so the stereo beats through the speakers. As I navigate through the streets of Silver Hills, I silently applaud myself for not giving into the craving while in Jules’s presence.

I’m just not sure how much longer I can last.