Dahlia

I pull my crappy red Escort through parking security and roll around the lot slowly, looking for a spot. I'm not late or anything, but I like to be at my desk before anybody else gets to theirs, so no one can ever accuse me of slacking off or not coming in on time.

One of my favorite things in the world is how my heels sound as they echo in the concrete lot. Especially in the morning when it's mostly empty, it sounds like something out of a movie. A thriller, or maybe something with a car chase or some bad guy hiding behind a concrete pylon.

But that's probably just the job talking. Ever since I started working for Coleman Security, I feel like I'm in a James Bond movie. It's not nearly as cool as that, since mostly I answer phones and update the database, but maybe that's because I'm not paying close enough attention.

That's what August advised me, to pay as much attention as possible. Observe the details. Memorize everything. That's what I should do.

After all, I don’t have any real training for this job. I’m not ex-military and I don’t have a degree. I dropped out of college for financial reasons without even really picking a major. I had toyed with pre-law, maybe political science, but hadn’t settled on a direction. And when I had to quit school, I left without a shred more direction than when I started.

So while everyone here seems to be a former cop or intelligence officer or something like that, I’m just a woman with a lot of pencil skirts and smart-looking glasses.

As I move through the front entrance with the metal detectors and a conveyor belt on my right, I casually scan everybody on my left. Just your usual security guards, plus a couple of bail bondsman and a county sheriff. They still use the top floor of this building as jail cells for the antiquated courtrooms on the fourth floor and always seem to be popping up in the elevators and stairwell.

I notice they see me but don’t look directly at me. Arms crossed, chatting casually, they still look around the room constantly, as though on alert for threats. That must be what August was talking about: staying alert.

I’ll have lots of opportunities to learn here, since this place is crawling with companies like Coleman Security. At one time this was a federal building, but the bottom three floors have all gone to private businesses. That is sort of a funny thing about the Washington DC area. Here, it seems like the government and private businesses mingle all the time, even in places where most people would probably think they shouldn't. The line is blurry, and people move back and forth across it when it suits them.

Because the building had so much built-in security, including all of the metal detectors and retinal scanners and biometric keypads, it seemed perfect for bail bondsmen and private intelligence firms. Another local asset is the wealth of ex-military guys hanging around, wondering what to do next after they retire from active duty.

After I left school, I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do next. Bunny offered to get me shifts waitressing at the diner, but I wanted to stay sort of on track for school, even if I wasn’t in school. I mentioned it at dinner and August immediately stood up and walked away, making calls in a hushed tone, scowling and pacing. Within minutes he had set up an interview for me, and Lori welcomed me with open arms.

If I'm honest, that experience was a little disappointing. When I mentioned needing a job and he stood up, I suddenly thought he was going to swoop in and fix everything. I thought I would get a job working for him, not one of his competitors. I mean, it probably would have been a disaster, considering how I always immediately become a gibbering moron every time he's around, but I still liked thinking about it.

Even though I would have to get myself under control, August is definitely the kind of man I think I could work for. He's quiet and observant. He chooses his words carefully, then delivers them through a clenched jaw most of the time. He sounds like the kind of guy who liked to give orders in the Marines. He has a broad chest and wide hands. Rough hands.

Oh my.

As the elevator shoots up to the second floor, I remind myself that I cannot be thinking about August as I walk into the office. I’ll be flushed and sweating through my blouse before anybody else even clocks in for the day if I'm not careful. Whenever August pops into my mind I find myself blushing and hot, sweating in inconvenient places. Not to mention leaving another giant wet spot on my panties.

He just does something to me. I can’t explain it. He first came around when I was seventeen, just a few months after my mother died. My dad met him in a grief support group. One day, they decided to hang out and watch football and drink beer at my house.

I walked in the house as usual and saw him sitting there. My breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t even speak to him directly and when he turned to wave hello, I ran to my room and shut the door.

And instantly, he was the only thing I could think about. He obliterated every other guy went to high school with. I even canceled my prom date because it just seemed so idiotic to go with Kurt Wellerman in his dad's station wagon when I had August sitting at my dining room table, being all… perfect.

Even the smell of him blew my mind. It was just something the guys in high school couldn't reproduce. They didn't smell like men. It's not like you can buy that in a bottle. He smells like exertion, like experience. Like a grown-ass man.

I swipe my card at the door and push on the handle when I hear the bolt unlatch. As I walk in I can see a yellow trapezoid of light outside Lori's office and wonder if the cleaning people are still here. I set my purse on my desk and walk toward her office to say hello to Marguerite, the night shift cleaning lady.

To my surprise, Lori is already here. She sits at her desk with her elbows perched on the edge, holding up her chin in her hands. She scowls angrily at a sheaf of papers spread out on the desk in front of her, then looks up when she notices I'm already here too.

“Oh, good morning, Dahlia. You're here early,” she remarks. She slides her glasses from her nose and sets them on top of the papers.

“Oh, you know, I usually try to get a good start, first thing,” I reply, secretly pleased that she finally noticed. “There’s usually nobody here. Is everything all right?”

She doesn't answer right away, breathing through her nostrils and shaking her head from time to time. I can't make out the spreadsheet that's in front of her, but it doesn't look like good news to me. There are circles and lines in assorted colors of highlighter, making an abstract graffiti.

“Come on in, won't you?”

This doesn't sound good. I enter quietly, sitting on the cocoa-colored velvet chair in front of her desk, right on the edge. I smooth my skirt over my knees and try to appear attentive and receptive.

“How long have you been here, Dahlia?” she begins, without raising her eyes to meet mine.

I swallow hard. My throat feels tight.

“About six months, I think,” I reply quietly.

“Yes, that does seem about right,” she answers. “August was good to send you to us. You’ve been a quick study. Are you enjoying your time here with us?”

I nod silently, then remember to answer. “Yes, very much. I'm learning so much.”

She finally looks up, narrowing her bright blue, intelligent eyes at me. She has this icy, clear stare that looks like it goes right through you, calculating the weight of your soul instantly.

“I'm happy to hear you say that. Do you think you are ready to take on something more?”

I try not to appear too excited. So I’m not in trouble? Thank God.

“Actually, I was just thinking the same thing, Lori,” I smile, relieved. “I'd love to expand my responsibilities here. What sort of things do you think I could do?”

She leans back in her chair, staring at the ceiling briefly and steepling her fingertips in front of her chest. Another ex-Marine like August, Lori Coleman was a tremendously decorated veteran of the Afghanistan war. An injury that she doesn't like to talk about removed her from active duty. People around here mention it in hushed tones from time to time, but I’ve never been able to get the details.

The word is, she was one of the rising stars in her unit. She could have been very highly ranked, eventually working in the White House. She’s beautiful and obviously brilliant too, so politics looked like a possibility, or maybe a stint as a PR person or political pundit on CNN or something. But unfortunately, her career was cut short. For some reason she chose to stay out of the limelight and not go into politics at all. She stays on the fringes, working from the shadows.

This company is very much her project, her baby even. She built it from the ground up, August told me. I can see from her pained expression that whatever she is looking at is troubling her deeply.

“Well, Dahlia… I'm just going to put it to you straight,” she begins. “Some of our contract negotiations broke down, and we're forced to find other sources of revenue. To put it in the starkest of terms: if I don't find new business soon, we’re going to need to be looking at cutting back.”

“Cutting back?” I repeat meekly.

She nods, sighing. “I have a few options on the table, but if I don't find replacement contracts to substitute for those ones that the goddamn LRD brothers stole out from under me, things could get rough. So one way that I can control costs is by asking everyone who's here to do a little more.”

“I would do anything you needed,” I agree brightly. “All you have to do is ask, Lori. What can I do to help?”

She knuckles her chin, scowling. “To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. Like I said, I lost a few contracts and I don't have signatures on the few that are in queue. I'd love to give you more responsibilities, let you take on a deeper kind of work, but…”

I shake my head helplessly. “I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Lori.”

She looks around, then finally sighs for a long time. “I think I need coffee,” she admits. “I'm not really sure what to ask you for here either, Dahlia. I'm just grasping at straws at this point. It's not like you're going to be able to invent new business out of the middle of the air, right? I'm going to have to solve this problem myself. But I am glad to know that you're willing, Dahlia. That means a lot.”

I push myself up to standing, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot as she directs her interest back to the spreadsheet in front of her. I wish there was something I could say, and I wrack my brain, wondering if there's anything I can do to help.

“Have you heard of Kirkman East?” I blurt out before I even think it through. What am I doing? It's not our client.

She raises her eyebrows, squinting. “The musician? From… Portland or something?”

“Seattle, I guess,” I continue, swallowing hard. I don’t think this is the right thing to do, but I'm afraid of what she's talking about. Am I about to lose my job? Thinking that I just almost lost my job because I was the first person in the office this morning hardly seems fair.

“Yes, I've heard of him. Can’t say that I have really followed his music, but I know who he is, more or less.”

I flex my wrists and smile thinly, wishing I could take it all back now.

“Well… just… let me look into a little bit, okay? There might be an opportunity there,” I suggest, trying to conceal just how out on a limb I am. Who the heck do I think I am?

“Look into what?”

She pushes her hair behind her ears, obviously intrigued. I think I see a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. Maybe she suspects how unlikely my offer is, or maybe she's just glad that I'm trying to be such a team player.

“Well to be honest, I'm not sure there's anything there,” I confess. “But I have it on good authority that he's here, in town. He does these secret recording sessions. Maybe there's a protection detail or something like that. I will try to find out.”

Tipping her head to the side, she regards me for long seconds. I almost want to tell her that I don't know what I'm talking about, that I'm just repeating something that August said even though I have absolutely no right to do that. Or maybe I should just bolt out of the room. I should just clean out my desk and hustle my ass back down to my little Escort and leave. But instead of that, I sit up straighter, trying to pretend like I even know what I'm talking about.

“Dahlia, that sounds like a good idea. Why don’t you to look into that for me, see if there’s something there. Don't tell anyone else — are we understood? Just between us, for now.”

I nod tightly. “I can do that.”

She smiles, one of rare times I've actually seen a smile on her face that didn't look false and sculpted. A real smile.

“All right then. I’ve got a lot of work to do here. Let me know what you find out.”

As I hustle back to my desk, I wonder, just what the hell do I think I am doing?