Jules

 

Leo took way too long to get back to me. At least, I thought so. He griped about my impatience and asked what the fuck was so important about this girl.

 

“I fucked up, Leo,” was all I told him. “And I need to make it right. Today.”

 

Leo was silent on the other end of the line for a while, probably wondering who the fuck I was and what I’d done with the real Jules. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d asked. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time, not for anyone since Sandra, and it must have come off as really weird from Leo’s point of view.

 

Finally, he spoke, “Alright, Ink. I don’t know what’s going on with this chick, but I hope she’s worth the boner you’re sporting for her.”

 

“She is,” I answered without even a moment’s hesitation.

 

He rattled off the address to me – an apartment complex in a shitty part of downtown – and I did us both a favor by not asking where he got his information. Leo had connections to the kinds of people I didn’t bother dealing with anymore. That included both the drug and arms dealers as well as the police. He’d probably gotten the information from a cop, but I didn’t want to know why the cop was so forth coming. Hell, I didn’t want to know anything about the cop to begin with.

 

“Thanks, Leo. I owe you.”

 

I was about to hang up, but before I got the chance, he asked me, “You sure this girl isn’t just some gold digger?”

 

Anger flared up inside my chest, hot and fast. I wanted to tear Leo’s head off for so much as suggesting that Allison was anything but genuine. Then I reminded myself that I had a lot of money and all Leo knew about Allison was that she lived in a bad part of town. Granted, if he knew that I’d paid her a million dollars to take her virginity, he’d probably be a little more forceful with his opinion on that matter, but I wasn’t going to waste time going over the sordid details. We were friends, but it was none of his damn business anyway.

 

I tamped down my temper, reminding myself that he was just trying to be my friend. Even so, my response came out gritty. “I’m sure. And if I ever hear you suggesting something like that again—”

 

“Easy there, brother,” Leo said quickly and I could picture him with his hands up as though I were aiming a gun at his head. “I’m just trying to look out for you. It’s been awhile since you’ve gotten this attached to a chick.”

 

He was right, but that did little to soothe my anger. I took a deep breath and let it out. “I appreciate the concern, but I think I’ve got it covered.”

 

“Suit yourself. I’ve said my peace.”

 

I thanked him for the address and we hung up the phone. I tried calling Allison once more, but there was still no answer and she’d yet to respond to my text. Although it was probably just because she didn’t want to talk to me after I’d been such an ass to her, I couldn’t help the sliver of worry working its way down my spine.

 

What if something happened to her? What if something was wrong? She could have been in some sort of accident. Did anyone even know where she was right now?

 

Shoving those questions aside, I headed down the stairs toward my bike. I had a car, too, but the bike would be faster. I could weave through traffic as I needed to and get there in half the time. Sure, it meant I wouldn’t be able to talk on the phone if Allison tried to call back, but I’d rather get to her quickly and talk to her face to face anyway.

 

Donning the requisite helmet, I kick started my bike, then revved it before heading out. My bike was parked in the back, so I came around the side of the house and drove down the driveway toward the main room. Once I got there, I really opened her up. I’d been riding motorcycles since I was old enough to reach the pedals. My mother had angrily told me I was going to kill myself one of these days, but she never told me I couldn’t. She was smart like that, knowing that forbidding me was like an open invitation to rebel. Instead, she’d gotten me a helmet and told me to not be stupid, to get good at it if I was going to do it at all.

 

A lesson I took to heart.

 

Speeding down the road, I hit a spot of traffic, but was far too impatient to wait for it. I started splitting the lanes, zipping between cars that angrily honked at me. I didn’t give a shit. I wove through traffic like a dolphin in the ocean, a natural on the back of my bike.

 

I took a hard right, leaning over so far I almost touched the asphalt. I should have been more careful, but all I could think about was how stupid I’d been earlier. Allison was a perfect match for me and my stupid ass had shoved her away like she might burn me.

 

And maybe she still would, but I knew that regardless of that, she was right. I couldn’t spend my life afraid of getting attached. That wasn’t the kind of man I was. It was time to stop being such a pussy about it and remember that I took what I wanted and I didn’t run from anything.

 

Now I just have to convince Allison to take me back, I thought as I took a left and drove down the hill toward the heart of the city.

 

I drove past the lively parts of it. All those quirky little coffee shops and the hole-in-the- wall restaurants until the buildings started to get more run down. Until everything looked just a little too weathered, too beat up. I watched as the roads got shitty and the buildings looked about half a step away from condemned. In what was clearly the poor part of town, I found the building that was clearly Allison’s apartment.

 

Pulling up alongside it, I spotted Allison’s car.

 

Good. She’s still here.

 

I took off my helmet and put it on the back of my bike. Then I looked up at the building where she lived. What a dump. I frowned. I definitely didn’t like Allison living here. In fact, I decided then and there that she would come and live with me. No way was I letting her stay in this little slice of decrepit. And if she refused to come live with me, then I’d set her up in another apartment. A nice one. One with several rooms so that her sister could have some personal space and they could put their things without feeling cluttered. I’d rather just have her live with me, but I’d make due if Allison refused.

 

Getting off my bike, I shoved the keys into my leather pants, then headed toward the entrance to the building. I looked for an intercom or something, because I assumed that the front door was locked to keep those that didn’t live there out. When I didn’t find any intercom, I frowned. I looked through the windows in the door in search of a doorman or someone that looked in the office, but there was no one.

 

I was quickly getting frustrated, so I pulled out my phone and dialed Allison’s number. “Pick up, damnit,” I muttered, but she didn’t. It went to voicemail again. I left another message. “I’m outside. Come let me in.” Then I hung up.

 

But I was starting to get uneasy. I’d already spotted her car, meaning that she must have been home already. Why wasn’t she answering the phone? Was she deliberately ignoring me?

 

Maybe she’s just in the shower, I tried to reason.

 

That caused my brain to summon up all kinds of images of her naked, bathing beneath a stream of hot water. Rivulets running down the slopes of her large breasts and trickling over her navel to slip between her legs. Maybe her hand would follow the flow of water to—

 

“Damnit, I need to focus!”

 

Running a hand through my hair, I tried Allison again, but still no answer. I thought about just calling until she picked up, but I was starting to realize just how creepy I was probably coming off. Yeah, because standing outside the door of her apartment building is far less creepy, right?

 

Shaking my head, I finally just said fuck it and made a last-ditch effort of just trying the door. I figured it would be locked and I’d have to either wait until someone came out or went in, or I’d just have to keep trying to call Allison. Thus, my complete and utter surprise when the door gave easily beneath my grip. It opened without resistance and that actually pissed me off more than just about anything.

 

“Cheap fucks,” I growled. They couldn’t even bother to lock the damn doors here? Anyone could just waltz in!

 

Case and point, I did just that, pulling the door the rest of the way open and heading into the lobby. I had half a mind to go into the little hole of an office adjacent to the lobby and give them a piece of my mind, but I knew better. It wouldn’t do anything. Probably, all that would happen was I’d get the cops called on me and I was really more concerned about getting to Allison and talking things over than I was about this shitty little apartment complex. Especially since I’d already made up my mind that one way or the other, I’d get her the hell out of there.

 

The address told me that she was up several floors. I tried the elevator first and found that it didn’t work. I wished I could say that I was surprised, but it seemed about par for the course in this place.

 

Muttering about slum-like living conditions, I marched up several flights of stairs toward her floor. When I got there, I was about to start searching for the right apartment number when I noticed a bag laying in the middle of the hallway.

 

A bag that I recognized instantly as belonging to Allison.

 

“Shit.”

 

Not a good sign.

 

I raced forward to scoop up the bag. I found her cellphone in the side pocket with all the texts and messages I’d sent her. She hadn’t answered because she’d never gotten them.

 

Fear and anger mixed inside me, running through my veins like fire. Something was wrong. Urgency propelled me forward as I quickly spotted the door that was hers. I raced to it and was about to pound it down when it swung open. A second later Allison ran out of her apartment and straight into my arms.

 

She was panicked, freaked out by something, and struggled to get away from me. But I wasn’t going to let her go. My hands went to her upper arms and I held her firmly, “Allison? Are you okay?”

 

She stared up at me with those huge brown eyes, wondering at how I could be there. I opened my mouth to tell her, but then her gaze turned glassy as tears began to form. They lined her dark eyelashes, dampening them, right before they spilled down her cheeks. A second later she threw herself against my chest and clung to me tightly. A sob ripped from her chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly, shushing and soothing her as best I could.

 

“It’s okay, Allison,” I murmured into her dark hair. “Everything’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

 

She sobbed for a moment longer before I noticed movement from inside her apartment. A man stumbled out, holding his head, his expression one of rage. “You stupid bitch!” he yelled and that was all I had to hear.

 

I let go of Allison, though she grabbed at my shirt and begged me to stay. But this was something I had to take care of. I moved her aside gently, motioning for her to step back, then I turned again to the man in her apartment. He was clearly bleeding from his head and I felt a swell of pride to think that Allison was probably the one who had done that to him.

 

That’s my girl, I thought, a grim smile forming on my lips.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” the man demanded, his voice nasally and obnoxious. I instantly didn’t like him and had the feeling that I’d have that same reaction no matter where or when I’d met him. Some people really were just the scum of the earth.

 

The man’s eyes narrowed as he glanced first at Allison and then back at me. His upper lip curled in disgust. “Is this him?” he asked Allison. “Is this the man you spent all weekend fucking? You really are a slut—”

 

He didn’t get another word out. My fist clenched and I swung before I even thought about what I was doing. All I could see was red, rage overcoming me. I wouldn’t let anyone say anything like that to my girl. Not now, not ever.

 

My fist made contact with the side of his face and I felt something crunch beneath my knuckles. I barely even felt it though. I was too mad, too indignant on Allison’s behalf. How could any piece of shit call her a slut – call her any sort of name? Especially when she’d done everything for the sake of her sister? When she’d saved her virginity for twenty-three goddamned years?

 

The man staggered from the blow until he found support against the wall. His hand went to his face, cupping his mouth and nose which were spewing blood. “What the fuck, man?” he demanded, but I still wasn’t listening.

 

He didn’t deserve a fair hearing.

 

I cocked back and threw another punch at his face, once more making contact. This time he went down hard. He slumped against the wall and crumpled to the floor, falling over until he was lying down completely. He was clearly unconscious.

 

Turning back to Allison, I saw her staring wide-eyed at me. She was shaking and for a horrifying moment, I was sure that she was scared of me. That I’d finally fucked up bad enough that there was no hope for trying again between us.

 

But then she took a single, hesitant step toward me. “Allison—” I began, but before I could say anything more, she ran the rest of the way to me. She threw herself into my arms and held me tightly, sobbing once again into my shirt. I held her, relief washing over me. There was still a chance for us.

 

We stayed like that for a while, me just holding her. I wanted to talk to her about all that had happened, to explain what a fool I’d been, but I wanted her calm when I did it.

 

When she finally stopped sobbing, I pulled her back so that I could look at her face. It was red and splotchy, her eyes a little swollen from the crying, but I thought that she still looked beautiful anyway. I reached up to cup her face and let my thumb smooth over her cheek, wiping away the remnants of tears.

 

This was it. I was going to tell her what had happened with Sandra and how terrified I was that it would happen again. Then I was going to apologize for being such an asshole and beg her to take me back.

 

I opened my mouth, but never got a word out. Because right at that moment, her phone began to ring. She made a mad dash for it and fumbled with it until she’d answered. “Hello? Hello? Dr. Miller? Yes, it’s Allison.”

 

I stayed silent, because if she was talking to a doctor, then it probably had something to do with her sister – which meant it was probably important. I waited as she nodded her head and made affirmative noises. I saw her free hand clamp over her chest, between her breasts as a watery smile slipped over her lips.

 

“Oh god, thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”

 

I stood silent, waiting, feeling almost like I was intruding on an intimate moment. She said a few more things to the doctor and I decided I should give her a bit of privacy. Which was why I turned away and dug out my own cell phone. I dialed the police and let it ring for a moment. I wasn’t entirely sure what this asshole had done to Allison, but I knew it wasn’t good. I wanted her to give me the full story, but I didn’t want to give this jackass the opportunity to get away. When the police picked up and asked what was going on, I explained that someone had broken into my girlfriend’s house and had attacked her. Again, I wasn’t sure that was the whole story, but it was pretty reasonable given Allison’s state and the man’s belligerence. I explained that I’d knocked him out to protect Allison and would be happy to give my statement, but might not be here at the scene when they arrived.

 

When the cop, a woman, asked why, I glanced over at Allison. She was nodding her head to whatever the doctor was saying. I answered, “My girlfriend’s sister is in the hospital and we need to go see her. I’ll leave my name and number with you and if you need me to give a statement, I’ll be reachable that way.”

 

The police agreed and promised that they’d send someone down right away. I thanked the woman, then hung up. I would check back to make sure this imbecile had been picked up. And if he wasn’t, then I’d call Leo for a favor. Once I explained what it was, I had a pretty good feeling that he’d be all too happy to oblige.

 

Shoving the phone back in my pocket, I turned to find that Allison was hanging up the phone. Her eyes were glassy, but she looked happy.

 

“They can get her in early!” she told me happily, her mouth split open into a wide smile. “They can get her in for the surgery today. God, Jules, this is everything!” She hugged me, probably not even thinking twice about it because she was so damn happy. It was a quick hug though. “I need to get to the hospital. If I get there in time, I can see her before the operation, but even if I can’t, I need to be here. Will you come?”

 

I nodded before I even knew what I was doing.

 

I hated hospitals. I hated their smell, the feel of their white halls. All of it. It felt of sterility and sickness, no matter what they tried to do. But most of all, it reminded me of my mother. She’d been sick a long time and even though she’d pulled through, I never could forget the awful feeling of being in a hospital.

 

Still, when Allison ran down the stairs toward her car, I couldn’t tell her no. Instead, I sighed and hurried after her. When we got to the lobby, I noticed a young man – greasy, hair slicked back, face cratered from acne that never healed right – leaning against the doorjamb of that damn office. I wanted to run over to him and grab him by the scruff as I told him just what a fucked-up place this was that a young woman could so easily be attacked in her own apartment.

 

It was only the fact that Allison blasted past him toward her car that kept me from stopping. I wasn’t about to lose track of her now.

 

Still, I shot him a nasty look that caused him to back cautiously into his office again, closing the door behind him.

 

Chickenshit.

 

I headed outside to where Allison’s car was parked. She was fumbling with her keys, trying to get the right one in the door of her car, but she was shaking so badly that she was having trouble. I realized that amidst all the good news of her sister, she’d still been in a terrifying way only moments before. I wondered what had happened in that apartment and took some solace in the knowledge that she was still fully clothed at least.

 

Stepping around the car to the driver’s side, I took the keys out of her hands. She looked up at me with wide eyes, her breathing short and a little panicky still. “What—?” she started to ask, but I cut her off.

 

“I’m driving. You’re in no shape to argue. Get in the passenger’s seat and buckle in.”

 

I spoke like I was giving her an order. I was giving her an order.

 

Instantly, her whole body seemed to relax a little, like the weight was suddenly lifted off of her shoulders. She didn’t argue with me or protest or tell me that it was her damn car. Instead, she offered me a small smile and said, “Thank you, sir.”

 

I felt a rush of pleasure at her calling me sir, but focused on the task at hand. Getting Allison safely to the hospital to see her sister.

 

When she was around the other side of the car, I unlocked the doors and we both slipped inside. I started up the car, then gave her a pointed stare. She blinked at me twice, then said, “Oh!” She grabbed her seatbelt and buckled up.

 

I glanced in the rearview mirror at my motorcycle and wasn’t too thrilled about leaving it parked in this part of town, but ultimately shrugged it off. If I needed to, I’d get another damn bike. It was unlikely that Allison would get another sister.

 

I pulled out into traffic and asked Allison, “Which hospital?”

 

“Wellborn,” she answered immediately.

 

I knew where it was and headed in that direction, going as fast as traffic would allow. The car ride was silent. Telling her how I was feeling, the revelation I’d had when she left, was constantly on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t get it out. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the situation – the pressure of her sister’s imminent operation – or if I was just too chickenshit to bring it up. Either way, I just couldn’t do it right then.

 

After she sees her sister, I promised myself. I’ll tell her everything then.

 

I took my eyes off the road for just a second to glance over at Allison. She was cradling her phone in her hands, staring down at the screen. I was about to ask her why, when she said, “You called me. A lot.”

 

I straightened up in my seat, focusing my eyes back on the road. “Yes,” I answered. “I was worried when you didn’t pick up.”

 

She bit her lower lip and said nothing else for the rest of the ride to the hospital.

 

When we got to the hospital, I drove around until I found a parking spot, then we hurried toward the entrance. But when we got there, I paused. The sliding glass doors were just up ahead and Allison was barreling straight toward them, but I’d slowed down to a crawl of a walk. Finally, I stopped altogether, just short of the doors. Allison paused, glancing back at me from two steps inside. The doors remained open, waiting for her to move.

 

“Jules?” she questioned and I heard the hurt in her tone, but even that couldn’t seem to make me move.

 

I was done with hospitals. Taking in a deep breath, I gave her a half smile and waved her ahead. “Go on. See your sister.”

 

Emotions flashed across her face rapid fire and I thought she might stay just long enough to chew my ass about being too scared to go into a damn hospital. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave me one last lingering glance, then turned away and walked purposefully into the hospital. The doors closed behind her and I suddenly had plenty of time to think of just how many stupid things I’d managed to do in one day.