Ron has been up to something. I don’t know what, but he seems more relaxed. He almost looks relieved. He and Jake keep going into his office and talking for about half an hour every night. I don’t know how but somehow, I just know it’s more than business as usual. Then she started coming in.

Lexi has been walking into Keegan’s more and more. Ron never looks happy to see her, but it doesn’t stop him from walking her right back to his office.

Today I’m sitting in the main room of the bar, hanging out with Jake and Greg. Jake and I aren’t going to be best friends anytime soon, but Greg and I seem to get along just fine. Jake’s been sipping soda while Greg and I nurse glasses of whiskey. I found that I preferred the liquid gold over that awful vodka Bree gave me the first time.

I’m debating asking Declan for a refill when I see Lexi strut out of Ron’s office, a triumphant smile still on her face. I want to pretend I don’t know what they’re doing in his office but I can’t anymore. My shoulder is mostly healed now, despite the occasional ache it hasn’t been much of an issue. I haven’t tested it in a fight yet, but that is definitely something I’m in no rush to do.

So far working for Ron has consisted of a lot of sitting around and waiting. I’m bored and I’m restless. Technically, I don’t even know if I have a job anymore since there aren’t any more meetings as far as I know. Ron doesn’t send me out on jobs like he does with the guys. It makes my mind wander, gives me nothing but time to stew on the things I shouldn’t be. The things that I want but he clearly doesn’t.

“Oh, still hanging around, are you?” Lexi sneers, making a point to pass me on her way to the door.

“I work here, seems like you’re the one hanging around,” I grumble, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing the hurt in my eyes.

“Oh, there is nothing hanging when I’m around,” she taunts.

I want to punch her in her stupid fucking face. I’ve never killed anyone out of anger, but something tells me she could easily be the first. I don’t know what I was thinking when I used her to deliver a message to Ron not so long ago. Their entire relationship is my fault. I was the one that introduced them and now I’m stuck with a front row ticket to my own heartache.

“Don’t you have a dick to suck or something else constructive to do?” Jake pipes up from his seat next to me. Jake may not be a fan of me, but he hates Lexi. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.

“I’ve …” Lexi starts but Jake cuts her off.

“Yeah, I know, you’ve sucked it already, shit, probably half the dicks in the city. Better get to work on the other half. Bye.” He gives her a flippant wave before going back to drinking his soda.

Lexi stands there for a few seconds, her mouth opening and closing like a fish; but decides it isn’t worth it, storming out the heavy doors of the bar.

I try to go back to the conversation around the table, but my mind is seething. Greg and Jake are holding hands under the table, Bree and Declan are cuddling behind the bar. I feel like I’m surrounded by reminders of what I’m missing out on. It seems like everyone has the one thing I want right now. The one thing I can’t have.

I scan my eyes over the guys around the room. Some of them are good looking, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I never cared about saving my virginity or anything, but I just know Ron is the one for me. This thing between us, whatever it is, isn’t over. Not by a long shot. I’m never going to find anyone who compares to him, why would I want to even try? Mind made up, I jump to my feet, sending my chair squeaking across the floor behind me.

“What the fuck?” Greg asks, jerking his head to look at me.

“Kella, this is a horrible idea …” Jake lets the rest of his warning trail off.

“Horrible ideas are my specialty,” I quip, already marching toward Ron’s office. I all but kick the door open, startling Ron so badly he jumps up, a gun in his hand.

“Put that shit away,” I hiss, marching toward him, slamming the door behind me.

Ron’s eyebrows go up, but he sets the gun on his desk.

“I hate her,” I growl, reaching the desk and beginning to move behind it. “Did you fuck her?” I can’t seem to stop the words coming out of my mouth.

“Kella …” Ron’s voice trails off when I grab his tie. Wrapping it around my hand, I shove with all my might and slam him against the wall of his office. The movement sends his office chair spinning across the room. He grunts from the impact. I know he can get me off him at any moment, so I go for it. I kiss him. Hard. With everything I’ve got. My tongue invades his mouth, giving his no chance to run before tangling with it. Our teeth clash. I taste blood, I don’t know if it’s his or mine. I don’t care. This is not like any pretty, romantic kiss I’ve seen before. This is nothing like the way he’s kissed me before.

Ron growls, his hands rising from his sides. I expect him to push me away, but he wraps his right arm around me, his hand reaching down to palm my ass. His left hand weaves into my hair, gripping it tight. The burn makes me moan. I can feel him, hard and heavy, against my thigh. I grind into him with a low moan, making him growl again.

“Here?” he asks, his eyes opening briefly. They’re filled with heat and a little lingering shock.

I don’t give him an answer, I just start frantically ripping at the buttons on his shirt, eventually giving up and ripping the shirt apart. Buttons fly through the air, scattering across his antique wood floors. Ron pushes me backward until the back of my thighs hit his desk.

“I liked that shirt,” he growls before reaching across the desk grabbing his gun, sticking it into the top drawer. He then uses the same hand to scatter the papers and pens off his desk, they land on the floor in disarray, his keyboard flies across the room and hits the wall. Laying me down, he pulls away. He stays standing between my legs, which are wrapped around his waist, urging him closer. He makes quick work of the fly on my jeans. Yanking them down with my underwear, he drops to his knees in front of me. I whimper at losing my legs’ grip on him, but before I can really complain his mouth is on me. There.

I knew this was something people did, obviously, but I’ve never experienced it before. He kisses between my legs the same way he kisses my mouth. Wet, deep, using his tongue and teeth. I grip the short hair on top of his head, my legs shaking. I come on his tongue and he moans with me through my orgasm like it was just as intense for him. I’ve barely come down before he’s standing, lining himself up with my entrance. I knew he was big, but feeling it this way, makes me wonder if I want this after all. Of course, I do.

“Oh fuck, this is really happening,” I babble nervously.

“It is,” he grunts, his hand squeezing the base of his cock. “There is no fuckin’ way to make this not hurt. I’ll make it as quick as possible,” Ron grits out through clenched teeth.

Before I can answer, he thrusts, deep, pushing all of himself inside me. My back bows off his desk, my mouth opening wide in a silent scream. Tears form in the corner of my eyes. The pain is blinding, white clouds my vision before the pain finally begins to recede.

“Tell me when I can move,” Ron says, his body vibrating with the tension of holding back.

“Just move,” I grind out, using the back of my hand to wipe away a few stray tears.

“I don’t wanna fuckin’ hurt you,” he hisses back, but I feel him give a shallow thrust.

It’s not as painful as before, the pain is fading to an almost dull ache.

“I’m good. Just go.” I wrap my legs around his waist again, urging him forward, deeper inside of me.

Ron doesn’t speak, just slowly withdraws before pushing back into me, the movement painfully slow. Inch by inch he fills me again. This time I feel a spark of pleasure somewhere deep inside. I give a small moan and Ron smirks. He doesn’t hold back this time, pulling back quickly and slamming back inside even faster. He grunts as I groan. My nails scratch at his chest and biceps, any part of him I can reach. He hisses when my nails break the skin on his arms. The pain seems to excite him, his pace increasing.

“Boss, everything okay?” I hear Jake’s voice and a knock on the door.

“Go. The. Fuck. Away!” Ron wheezes between his clenched teeth, never stopping his thrusting. He rocks into me like a boat in a storm.

I throw my head back and my eyes roll back in my head. This is everything I hoped it would be. It’s more than I could have even dreamed. There will be no going back after this for me.

“I want you to come with me,” Ron grits, his pupils so dilated his eyes almost look black instead of blue.

“I don’t know if I can,” I hiss, pushing my hips off the desk to meet his thrusts. The pleasure bubbling up inside of me in a way I can’t control, but I’m just not quite there.

“You can and you will.” He finds my clit with his right hand, rubbing it in small circles with his thumb.

My world ignites, fire racing up and down my spine.

“Ron … Ron …” I start moaning his name, I don’t know what to say, my mouth barely able to form words.

“Fuck yes, Kella!” he shouts, and I feel him pulsing inside me. Feeling him throb inside of me sends me over the edge and I come, hard, squeezing everything out of him.

He collapses on top of me, careful to avoid my bad shoulder by putting weight on his elbow. He gives me a few light kisses on my lips before nuzzling my neck.

“Happy now?” he says, I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Why yes, I am. Thank you,” I retort, not bothering to hide the giant smile on my face.