I had to get out of there. If I stayed, I would have become the guy I’m trying so hard to suppress. I would have admitted my feelings and ruined everything. I never should have given in to her. She was drunk. I was drunk. But what was I supposed to do when she was practically begging me to kiss her?

A car beeps at me, and I realize I’m swerving. I can’t drive like this. I’ve had too much to drink. I pull into Last Call, my buddy Caleb’s sports bar. His apartment is above the bar, so even if he’s not bartending right now, he’ll be around to let me crash. I park, walk inside, and head straight to the bar, which takes up the entire back wall of the place. There aren’t many people left at this hour, even for a Friday night. Caleb must have announced last call already.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Caleb wipes the bar with a rag and slings it over his shoulder. “You look like you had quite the night. Who was the lucky lady?”

“Aria,” I say, sitting down on one of the leather stools.

“What?” His eyes bulge. “You two finally...” He finishes his sentence with a hand gesture.

“You look like you’re smashing Play-Doh, not miming sex. And no, we didn’t.”

He pours a shot and slides it across the bar to me. “Tell me what happened.”

I down the shot and slide the empty glass back to him.

“That bad?” he asks, refilling it.

“No. That great.”

“So then why are you here instead of at her place?” He holds my shot captive, waiting for an answer.

“She initiated it, but she was drunk.”

“Much like you,” he says, giving me my drink. “Go on.”

“Exactly. That’s the problem. I finally kiss her, and it’s when we’re both drunk. What does that mean?”

“That you’ve suddenly turned into a chick who wants to define the relationship after one kiss?” He smirks, which makes the scar on his left cheek from a motorcycle accident more apparent.

“Dickwad.”

“Very mature.” He takes my shot right out of my hand and downs it himself.

“Hey!”

“You’ve had enough for one night.” He leans his arms on the bar and looks directly at me. “What happened when it was over? Was she freaked out?”

“No. I was. For her, this was nothing more than being buzzed and missing the comfort of a warm body.”

“She still pining over Aaron?”

“I don’t think so, but I think she misses being with someone.”

“Yet you walked out without a happy ending for either of you.”

I glare at him. “She never would have spoken to me again if I—”

“Sealed the deal?” He wags a dark eyebrow.

“I’m not above punching you in the face. This is Aria we’re talking about.” I’m not sure there’s anyone I wouldn’t hit for her.

“That’s right. Aria, the girl you’ve been in love with for years. The one you’ve tried to pretend is just a friend. She’s totally hot, man. If I wasn’t engaged—”

“Finish that sentence and I will jump over this bar and pummel you.”

“Dude, you couldn’t jump over this bar right now if Aria was waiting naked on the other side of it.”

Like hell I couldn’t.

“Let’s get you upstairs. You can crash on my couch. I’m heading to Sara’s anyway.” He walks around the bar. “At least one of us is getting laid tonight.”

“Rub it in.”

He laughs. “Need help or can you walk on your own?”

“I’m fine.” I get off the bar stool and follow him to the stairs in back. I hold the railing, not trusting my legs. What was I thinking tonight? I don’t ever drink to this point, but I’ve never felt so drunk after a six-pack. It must have been the combination of the alcohol and Aria.

“You know where everything is,” Caleb says, opening the apartment door. “I’m just grabbing my overnight bag.” He heads to his room, and I flop on the dingy couch.

The apartment leaves much to be desired since Caleb put all his money into fixing up the bar below. That place looks high end. This place looks like it’s begging for a wrecking ball. I have my cell in hand when he returns.

“Please tell me you aren’t planning to drunk dial her.”

“Probably not the best idea, huh?”

“At least wait until after you puke.” He smirks and walks out, leaving me to ponder what to do next. I hate how I left her. I was a dick. Who makes out with their best friend and then bolts? I have to call her. I dial and press the phone to my ear.

“Hey,” she answers. “Did you get home okay? I was worried you wouldn’t be able to drive.”

“I’m at Caleb’s. Driving wasn’t the best idea, and luckily I realized that. I can’t believe how drunk I am.”

“I know.” She gets quiet, and I press my fingers to my forehead, which is starting to throb with a headache. “Listen, I don’t know what came over me tonight.”

“That makes two of us. I acted like a jerk.”

“No. I’m the one who pushed things.”

“That wasn’t what I meant.” I rub my forehead, but now my chest is pounding much louder than my head. “I shouldn’t have left without talking to you about what happened.”

“It’s not a big deal. We were drunk. We made out. I don’t want this to change things between us.”

Shit. “Are you saying you want to pretend it never happened?”

“No. I...I don’t know what I’m saying.” She sighs loudly into the phone. “I wish you were still here so we could talk in person.”

“I’m sorry I left. I thought you might be a little freaked out over what happened.”

“We kissed. That’s all.”

That’s not all. It was so much more than that. It’s good that I left, because feeling this way is too much on its own. I couldn’t go through it in front of her. “Tell me what you want to do about it.”

“Do we have to do anything? I mean, we’re still friends, right? That doesn’t need to change, does it?”

The hope in her voice is like a kick to the balls.

“No, we don’t have to do anything. We’ll always be best friends, Aria. Always.” I wish I knew how to come to terms with that. Especially after having a taste of what could be.