,
Then…
Jesse Montgomery
I DIDN’T KNOW what to do. He is touching me again, and I want it. He kissed me. He wanted to kiss me, or so I thought. He seemed so into it, but as soon as it started, it ended. Was it me? Was I not good? He said he wouldn't be able to stop, but I didn't want him to stop. He stopped, on his own. Why does he always stop?
Now he is holding my face like lovers do and I am wearing a pink silk camisole and matching silk boxer shorts, leaving little to the imagination. His hands don’t pull away, my nipples hardening at his heat. Pulling my arms across my check to cover my arousal. He grabs my wrists and pulls me onto his lap, shaking his head in disapproval.
"Don't hide from me, darlin" he cooed, "you have nothing to be ashamed of."
Adjusting his position, he pulls so I am straddling his lap, facing him. Bringing his hands to cup my face again, he leans in and places a soft kiss to my lips. The movement causes me to wiggle, hearing him hiss in discomfort, I go to move off his lap. When he stops me. He seems to be in pain.
"Don't move", he seethes "you're not the only one hiding excitement", he chuckles, nodding to his lap. Woah. Noticing the bulge pushing through his zipper, my eyes go wide. I look my eyes widening at the strain pushing up against his jeans. He takes in my expression and double up in laughter. I follow suit.
After about fifteen minutes of complete lunacy, Bane lifts me off his lap and lays me gently on the bed, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. He turns towards the door to leave.
"W-where are you going" I ask. Why did I ask that?
"To my bed, Jess" he sighs, the defensive wall going back up. "I can't sleep in here, with you. You don’t need this."
I don’t argue. I couldn’t if I tried.
"Sleep well, beautiful" and with that he's gone. My body wants him to stay. To touch me in places I have left untouched. At eighteen I am still a virgin. But my heart needs him to stay away. My eyes falter and begin to close. Exhaustion takes over and I fall into a restless sleep.
The sound of glass breaking wakes me from my dream. Knowing my place, I go to my "safe" corner in my closet. I look at the alarm clock and notice it is 3:28 am before cowering away. Mother is away on vacation with some of the other dancers at the club. Which leaves me alone with father. Danny is around, but father keeps sending him on errands. I hear the footsteps as he ascends the stairs. I count the seconds it will take him to get to my room. One, two, three, four....
The sound of my door crashing against the walls causes a whimper to escape.
"Oh, where oh where, has the little bitch gone" he hisses.
I shrink further into my space. Knowing he will find me. A hands snakes through the single row of clothes and grabs me by my unicorn nightie.
"There she is" he spits.
He has been drinking, tonight is not going to be good. Danny, please get home, I think. He grabs me by my arm and drags me to the bed. His palm comes across my cheek, and my head snaps back, the taste of metal explodes in my mouth. Trying to rub the burn away, I turn, facing the floor. He spits in my face.
"You are pathetic, nothing like your brother. Fucking bitches always ruining everything" he slurs.
Not knowing what he was talking about, I stayed quiet. He jumps on the bed and throws me back against the headboard. Pulling me by my ankles, he situates himself over me. He lights a cigarette and flicks on my nightie.
“Trash. Nothing more than a soiled piece of unwanted shit. If only I could get rid of you.” He spits.
"I'm sorry father, I’ll be better', I cry.
He slips his hand over my mouth, "shut up slut, I will figure out your mother's plan, and when I do, I will kill both of you".
So much hatred morphed his features, as he puts the cigarette out on my neck. I scream in agony as the sound of flesh burning rapes my ears. His fist comes down on the side of my face and everything went black as unconsciousness retrieved me from the nightmare.
I woke up with a start. My hand coming to my chest to calm my overactive heart. I touch the burn on the side of my throat as the memory leaves a rancid taste in my mouth. That was real. Not just some déjà vu. I remember that night. I was fifteen. Danny was gone, running another pointless errand, which would keep him all night. Father had been working late at the club, knowingly getting plastered. I was so frightened that night when he came into my room, and every night after that. He had always beaten me, whipped me, and neglected me. I never understood what the drunk ramblings meant. Mothers plan?
Shaking the feeling that I am missing something, I get out of bed and grab my towel and head to take a shower. Enjoying the steamy water, and letting it soak my sore muscles, my mind drifts off to Bane. His hands on my body, his rock-hard cock rubbing my thigh as I straddled his lap. My hands start to rub circles on my stomach, slowly inching towards my breast. Softly rubbing the hardened nub. My other hand travels south towards my throbbing clit. I imagine Bane watching me. I continuously circle the sensitive nerves till the pleasure takes me over the edge. Pleasure consumes my body, as I shake in ecstasy. Covering my mouth with the hand that was rubbing my nipples to stifle the moan that was clawing it was out of my throat. After coming down from my high, I smile to myself and continue my shower.
After drying off and dressing in a pair of vintage washed jeans and Last of Us gaming shirt, I head down to the kitchen. The aroma of bacon assaults my nose. Coming around the corner, I not only find Bane, but another quest has arrived. A female guest. She is elegant, blond curly hair runs down her back. She is wearing a designer black dress and red pumps. She has not missed a day at the gym, and not a hair out of place, unlike my "causal" appearance. He has her in a tender embrace.
He turns and glares at me as if last night didn't happen. He pretends he doesn't see me, and continues his conversation with the soft blonde. She wraps her arms around his neck, and plants her plump red lips to his. The worse part, he kisses her back like a lover would. I feel my heart drop to my stomach and humiliation envelops my cheeks. I’m so stupid. I rush back to my room, ungracefully I might add. Unwanted tears flow down my cheeks. Here I am crying over him, again, somethings never change.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I look at my unsettling appearance. Childlike. Not sexy. I throw my shirt over my head, and slip out of my jeans. I stand there staring at my naked body in the mirror. I notice my thick appearance, and wonder if I was skinnier would Bane want me as much as I want him. Stop, you can’t want him. He will only hurt you.
He doesn’t want you, nobody will. That’s what every has said. Except for Danny and at one time, Bane. Now I am nothing to him. He has proven that time again. Its time I do what is right for me. And if he wants to play this dirty game. I will play harder.