Cree

---

My heart slowed, some of my reason beginning to come back.

I didn’t want it to.

I would have given anything to stay in that place, stay with Aaron.

But that wasn’t possible. So, with as much dignity as I could, knowing that was quite the feat given what had just taken place, I stood, and discreetly pulled my skirt down.

I was torn, wanting to search for my underwear, which, truth be told, I hadn’t even thought of until that very moment. More practical concerns won out and instead of looking at Aaron, I kept my eyes averted as I adjusted my bra and buttoned my shirt.

I could only imagine how I looked, could still feel the flush on my skin, the sheen of sweat, the tremors of pleasure that still reverberated through me now.

I ignored them all as best I could, going for distance and reserve, which seemed ridiculous given what had just happened, but was also the one thing I knew I could handle.

I was acutely aware of Aaron’s presence, could feel him watching me, but I wasn’t brave enough to meet his eyes.

Cowardice wasn’t usually something I was fond of, but I needed to do what I could in this situation, and looking at Aaron was definitely not smart, at least not right now.

So as I stood, I looked around the room, searching for the underwear that were somewhere, hoping I would find them soon.

“You looking for these?”

At the sound of Aaron’s voice, soft, husky, taunting, but in a way that was arousing rather than angering, I shifted and looked at him. I didn’t quite meet his eyes, but instead focused on his hand, which he had lifted shoulder-high, my underwear dangling off one of his fingers.

“Yeah,” I said.

I reached forward, but not quickly enough to capture them.

Aaron pulled his hand away, and I looked at him in surprise, my brows furrowed.

“I’ll hold onto these,” he said.

And he smiled his wicked grin and tucked the underwear into his shirt pocket like it was something he did every day.

He might have, a fact I intentionally decided to ignore.

“Aaron…”

His smile deepened, but instead of responding, he walked forward, kissed me softly.

“See you tomorrow.”

He walked to his desk then, looking no worse for the wear. Or at least not at first glance.

I kept my gaze on him, watched as he donned his suit jacket, and then let my gaze drop lower.

The hardness tenting his pants was unmistakable, a reminder of both what we had done, and the fact that Aaron wasn’t completely unaffected by me.

“Unless you want to help me out with this,” he said with a lazy shrug.

I was tempted, more than I would ever be able to tell him, but instead I smiled.

“I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling it yourself. Consider that payment for the panties,” I said.

Then I turned on my heel, the sound of his laughter following me out the door.

I wasn’t sure how I managed to maintain my composure, but the minute the elevator doors closed and the car began to descend, I slumped against the door, strength seeming to leave me.

My mind was simultaneously full and empty, so many thoughts swirling through it.

I ignored them all.

I moved on autopilot, gathered my belongings, and made my way to my car, much as I had the night before, countless other nights before that still.

But none of those had ever felt quite like this. I was still turned on, wanted Aaron even more now than I had when I had been in his office. But I was also surprised, more than a little bit confused, something that I was not fond of.

Still, I didn’t allow my mind to wander, let myself think about anything but going through the motions of driving home.

Only later, much later when I was finally at home, and in the safety of my bed, did I allow myself to consider what had happened, what, if anything, it meant.

As I lay there, I waited for recriminations to come, waited for anger at myself for doing such a thing.

And some of that was there. I prided myself on not losing control, on my ability to keep a tight rein on my emotions being one of my greatest gifts.

But all that had been thrown out of the window.

And all because of Aaron.

What he’d said about me before, me being tentative, me thinking that if I was good enough I would earn the things I wanted had been true, that he had so casually pegged me, seemed to have understood me better than people who had known me for years longer than he had was disconcerting.

It occurred to me that Aaron might be more than he seemed, and it occurred to me even further still that I wasn’t entirely sure that I was up to dealing with that.

But even beyond those scary thoughts, ones where he could see things about me that I didn’t even want to acknowledge about myself, ones where he had said things to me, things that some would consider cruel, that he had done so with no compunction at all was overridden.

Because when I had been with Aaron, the moment I had kissed him, I had felt the freedom that was as intoxicating as it was rare.

I never let myself go, never gave in to my first impulse. Always kept a tight rein on my emotions, my behavior.

Not with him.

All the things I had been afraid of, letting go, letting someone see me, all those had fallen by the wayside.

That was a scary feeling, but also a welcome one.

I didn’t even have the imagination to begin to dream of what it would be like if I could be that way all the time, didn’t know if it was something about him that brought it out of me. But for the first time, I recognized that Aaron might be onto something.

I didn’t like some of the things he did, definitely didn’t always care for the way he talked to me, but those moments with him, that time when I had the ability to simply be me, take what I wanted, do so without fear of recrimination. They were wonderful, could be addicting.

To say nothing of the man himself.

That kiss had been explosive, had rocked the very foundation of my world, but I realized now that it had only skimmed the surface.

The way he had touched me tonight, the way he seemed to know my body, know what I wanted, knew how to give it to me, was a thing to marvel at. Made only that much more so because we hadn’t really even been together.

I imagined that, Aaron inside me, our bodies joined in that most intimate way. Knew that I wanted that, wanted it more than anything, wanted it with a fervor that both terrified and aroused me.

Wondered if I could ever have it.

I didn’t know.

Perhaps this thing with Aaron, whatever it was, something I didn’t understand, didn’t have a name for, was a one-time thing. Maybe he had given me a taste of him only to take it away.

I didn’t know, but as I drifted to sleep, my body more satiated than it had ever been before, I realized I was excited to find out.

---

Aaron

---

I canceled my dinner reservations and went directly home.

Not something I would do ordinarily, but I was far too wound up for company tonight.

Besides, there was only one thing that could manage to distract me, and it was something, someone, I couldn’t have.

As I had watched Cree adjust her skirt, button her shirt, I had been almost overcome with the need to hold her close, never let her go.

That wasn’t just because of the raging hard-on that even now, hours later, had only barely receded.

That was there, there was no doubt of that, but even more I felt something far too much like affection, a stirring in my chest that went beyond sex, physical connection, and was about the person she was, the one she hid from everyone but had shared with me.

It was sheer lunacy.

I knew that, and even more knew exactly how she felt about me. But even knowing that didn’t change anything.

That was why I had dismissed her so abruptly, not even bothering to turn on the charm I usually used.

Cree wouldn’t have appreciated it, and I didn’t have the focus or wherewithal to convincingly pull off the ploy.

Truth was, I had been angry. That she’d questioned my integrity had been bad enough to send my temper surging. But then she’d gone further and assumed that I was actually the low creature of her imagination.

I’d hated that, had found it intolerable, and my only recourse had been to push back at her as she had pushed at me, and from there things had gone wildly out of control.

And worst of all, I had no idea where that left us.

If I were honest with myself, something I had little choice but to be, I wanted her.

I didn’t understand why, still had no clue what the power she held over me was, why she seemed to touch me in ways no one else did. But the why didn’t matter. What mattered was that the depth with which I wanted her was something that I couldn’t contain.

And while that scared me, terrified me, really, I knew that it couldn’t be avoided.

I also knew that I would have to be on top of my game.

It was clear that while Cree didn’t respect me, there was a connection between us, one that I wanted to explore, one that she did too. Neither of us could ignore it, and though it might have been more convenient to do so, the thought of denying myself her, the thought of never touching her again, tasting her again, feeling her body around mine was one that I couldn’t accept.

I hated being in this position, hated caring, and did everything in my power to avoid it.

But as with most things, that didn’t matter to Cree.

This little game we had been playing had escalated, and now I knew its conclusion.

And for the first time in years, I was actually excited about something.