Minus

I felt like an idiot. Tomorrow I was going to have a sit down with one of the area’s most violent gangsters, and I was more nervous about dinner with a woman tonight. Then again, I wasn’t about to try and fool myself into thinking this was just some dinner with any ordinary woman. This was Cricket, and we had some serious shit to talk about. I knew everything I needed to tell her, but had no idea what I was gonna say, which was probably bad news for me, considering how bad I’d screwed things up last time we’d spoken.

I was so hellbent on making a good impression tonight, I’d even worn a jacket and tie. Of course, I hadn’t packed any nice clothes, not that I had many in my wardrobe anyway, so I had to hit a store, with minutes left to change before we were set to meet. I felt like I was back in my Catholic school uniform. Fortunately, I didn’t have to stand there squirming in my new duds for long, as Cricket’s Uber car pulled up minutes after I’d walked down to the hotel’s front entrance.

Cricket got out of the car, thanked her driver, and in a very business-like tone said, “Thank you for meeting with me, Jase.”

Shit! She wore a tight, black pencil skirt, a silky white button-up blouse, and a pair of four-inch heel, fuck me shoes. Her hair cascaded down her back in loose curls and I couldn’t help but compare her to some eighties video vixen when the wind caught those curls as she walked toward me.

All I wanted to do at that moment was to put her back in that car and tell the driver to get as far the hell away from here as possible. I could scarcely imagine why I was about to sit this intelligent, beautiful woman down and try to convince her to go along with some crazy scheme that I barely believed in. Only loyalty to my club and to my president could make to me do such a dumbass thing, and as much as I was convinced that she’d laugh in my face, I had resolved myself to relay Cutter’s plan and offer as promised.

“Like I said, I really was gonna call you and apologize,” I said sheepishly. “I was kind of caught off-guard by you, and Cutter and, well, everything, and I acted like an asshole.”

“No, you didn’t act like an asshole; you were an asshole,” she corrected.

“Fair enough.”

“I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that you will not behave as such tonight, but you’re on a short leash.”

“Look, if you want to bring leashes and collars into this, we can—”

“And no dirty sex jokes!”

“I’m sorry.” I smiled. “You make me nervous. You always have. Whenever you made me nervous back then, I’d always crack some stupid joke to make you blush just so you wouldn’t notice how scared I was. I guess old habits are hard to break. I promise, I’ll be a perfect gentleman from here on out.”

I made the mistake of looking directly into her eyes for just a moment too long, which was kind of like staring straight at the sun. I saw her expression soften, before she snapped back to no-nonsense mode.

“Okay, then. Apology accepted.” She extended her hand straight out, and I did my best to suppress a smile as I completed the handshake in my most business-like manner.

“So, you wanna eat here at the hotel? The food’s supposed to be good. Apparently, the head chef was runner up on Chef Battle, U.S.A.”

“As long as it’s not served from a food truck, I’m happy,” she said.

“Not down with the whole meals on wheels trend, huh?” I asked.

“I have no personal objection, per-se, but our office is downtown, near where the food trucks park. Unfortunately, we’re down-wind from them, so at lunch-time the combined smells waft towards our building.”

“And that doesn’t make you hungry?” I asked.

“Far from it. Imagine the combined smells of curry, barbeque, smoked salmon, falafel, fish tacos, and smeat, all blowing at you on a hot summer day.”

“What the fuck is smeat?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but they’ve got a food truck that specializes in it.”

“Well, according to Yelp, this place appears to be more of an upscale, smeat-free establishment... with proper ventilation.”

“Then, by all means, lead the way inside.”

“Good, because it looks like it could start raining at any second,” I said, as I held the door open for her.

The restaurant at the Hotel Dufrane was as beautiful as advertised. I slipped the hostess a little something for a private table, and she instructed our server to seat us at booth number three. He led us to an intimate spot, located in the back corner, and sat us down.

“Wow, Mr. Bond, I’m impressed. A tie, a private booth. What next, a ride in your Aston Martin?” Cricket teased.

“Fat Boy.”

“What?”

“Along with putting me up in this fine establishment, and paying for this dinner, Cutter has also purchased me a brand-new Harley-Davidson Fat Boy.”

“Wow, he’s really trying to wine and dine you, isn’t he?” Cricket razzed.

“Speaking of which. Drink?” I asked.

“How can I say no, when I know my uncle is paying?” She smiled, and I swear to God it felt like my heart was being squeezed.

I turned to our server, “Champagne for the lady, something very old, and very expensive. And I’ll have—”

“A vodka martini; shaken, not stirred,” she said.

I laughed and replied, “Perfect.”

Our server left us, and for the moment we were alone; something Cricket and I had not been for a very long time.

I cleared my throat nervously.

“So, look. Here’s the thing. I’ve got a lot to say, and to be honest with you, I’m not quite sure where to start. You said on the phone that you had some questions for me, so how about we start there?”

“You sure you don’t want to wait for your drink?” she asked.

“I think I’m good, ask me anything,” I replied.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Fire away.”

“Okay, then. Why did you abandon me, disappear completely from my life, and shatter my heart into a million pieces? How do you sleep at night being such a cold, heartless monster? Why in the hell have you come back into my life, and how soon will you be leaving?”

Just then, our server appeared with Cricket’s champagne and my martini, which he placed in front of me.

“Thank God,” I said. “I’m gonna need this, after all. As a matter of fact, go ahead and bring me another.”

“What happened to you being a perfect gentleman?” she chided.

“Would you settle for an imperfect gentleman?”

“Jase.”

I gave our server a nod, and he replied with, “I’ll give you two some time with the menus, and come back for your dinner selections,” before disappearing.

“I’m sorry, that was kind of a lot to lay on me all at once. You’re gonna have to gimme a minute to make some sense of all of it.”

“What part do you need clarification on?” she asked, then sipped her champagne. The tip of her tongue slipped over to upper lip briefly and I felt my zipper press against my hardening dick.

“Well, all of it. Being as the root of your feelings seems to be based on some sort of notion that I walked out on you.”

Cricket’s face flushed with the red I remember seeing whenever she was about to rip me a new one. “Root of my feelings? A notion?” she ground out. “What other words can I use? You left me, Jase. One day, you packed up and moved to Georgia, and I never heard from you again. We had been together for almost a year. You were my first love.” She stopped there, as tears filled her eyes. She shook her head and stared out the window.

I reached for her hand. “Cricket, I—”

“No.” She pulled her hand away. “Don’t touch me. I can’t handle you touching me, or being sweet, or charming. I’m angry at you, and I don’t know why I’m even here. And... and... I hate you.” Cricket folded her arms and slumped down in her seat, avoiding eye contact.

“I never abandoned you,” I said. “Please believe me when I tell you I had no choice in moving to Savannah.”

“No choice? A chance to move up in the ranks comes along and you take it, but you’re telling me you had no choice?” she hissed.

I frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I know all about why you moved to Savannah. Cutter offered you a deal and you took it, regardless of what it cost me.”

“Cricket, I’m not sure what you think you know, but you’re wrong. I was forced out by Cutter, mostly because of your brother.”

“I know you were forbidden to see me, but if you’d really loved me you would have told me you were leaving. You would have called me once you were there. You would have asked me to come with you,” she said, tears once again forming.

“Baby, I don’t think you understand how being exiled works. If I had disobeyed Cutter, he would have taken my patch. I was given direct orders to stay away from you, and leave my life here behind.”

“So you just went along your merry way? How could it have been so easy for you walk away from me?”

“Easy? You think any of this has been easy for me? You think you were the only one that was in love? It took me a year to be able to go to sleep at night without drinking myself unconscious. I would wake up in the morning and my arms would ache because you weren’t in them. Every time my phone buzzed, I’d pray that it was Cutter calling to tell me I could come home and that, miraculously, you’d still be waiting for me. Every day that went by that he didn’t call, it made me hate him more. And every day that went by that I couldn’t have you, made me love you more.”

“Then why didn’t you call, contact me, anything?”

“I had to put my feelings for you aside and do what I was told.”

“No, Jase you chose to put your club before me.”

Her words cut into the last good remaining part of my soul.

“You’re right,” I replied, taking her hand. This time she allowed me, and I forced eye contact with her. “I did everything you said. I was a coward and I regret that. Cricket, I’m so sorry. Please know that I never meant to hurt you and that I had no idea what you were going through. I was so wrapped up in my own heartbreak and anger, that I figured you’d just moved on when I left.”

“Well, I didn’t,” she said.

“I don’t understand how that’s possible. You’re the most amazing woman in the world. There had to be a line of guys around the block waiting to date you. I figured by now, some normal, stable, responsible type would have swept you off your feet. Or, did your brother chase all the other guys away, too?”

“I’m not ready to fill you in on all of that right now,” she said, and I instantly knew it had to be bad. “We’ll just leave it at, you left a mark.”

I grimaced.

Cricket looked at me puzzled. “You keep saying my brother had a big hand in your exile. I’m not sure you’re right about that. The Dogs of Fire and The Burning Saints have nothing to do with one another.”

“That’s not exactly true. The clubs aren’t exactly friendly, but given their shared roots, they’ve always respectfully steered clear of one another. According to Hatch, me dating you was a sign of our club drifting into their lane.”

“I’m going to kill my brother,” she said.

Although, I was happy her anger was no longer focused on me (at least for the moment), I couldn’t believe it, but suddenly I found myself defending Hatch. “Don’t be mad at your brother. He didn’t want you dating a criminal and I can understand that. He was just trying to protect you.”

“I’m so sick of everyone always saying that! I don’t need protection. I’m not a child and I’m not a helpless weakling.”

“I never said you were weak or thought you were helpless. You’re one of the strongest women I know. Hell, I’ve got a permanent scar here under my eye to prove it.”

Cricket cringed and looked away in embarrassment.

“Don’t you dare,” I said. “Take a good look at your handiwork, Cricket. It means you don’t take shit from people, no matter who they are, and I’m glad you stuck up for yourself. I’m also glad you hit me, because this scar will remind me never to treat you that way again.”

“I highly doubt we’ll see each other after tonight, so it doesn’t really matter much does it?”

I straightened my posture. “Well, besides the apology, that’s the other thing I wanted to discuss tonight.”

“Jase,” she said in a low tone.

“Please call me Minus. You have no idea what it does to me when I hear you say my name.”

“Don’t you dare. You promised no dirty talk,” she warned.

“I’m not talking dirty, Cricket. I’m being honest. The part of me that’s still Jase has deep feelings for you, but I have to be Minus right now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You heard Cutter the other night. He wants me to be club president when he retires.”

“You’re not seriously thinking about doing that, are you?”

I shrugged, but said nothing.

“Wait a minute,” she said with a gasp, her eyes widening. “You’re not here to try and convince me to join you and your little band of miscreants, are you?”

I studied her, but still said nothing.

“Oh, my god, you are!” Cricket slid out of the booth, and stood. “I’m not hungry anymore. Thank you for a lovely evening and for your apology. I’ll call myself a car.”

With that, she headed straight for the exit. I stood to stop her, just as our server returned.

“Is everything alright, sir? Do you need some more time with the menus?”

“No, thank you, my date isn’t feeling well, so we’re going to call it a night. Sorry for any trouble, everything was great. Please, bill the drinks to my room and give yourself a ridiculously high tip.”

I ran outside and found Cricket standing on the curb, in the pouring rain, violently stabbing at her phone. “Stay away from me, Jase, I mean it.”

“That’s all you gotta say to me?” I challenged.

“Yes.”

I crossed my arms. “This isn’t like you, Cricket. I was expecting more of a fight. At least a hundred words formed into several sentences that told me what an asshole I am.”

She glanced up from her phone briefly. “Well, you don’t know me anymore. Obviously.”

“Please come back inside, it’s pouring out here.”

“Gee, thanks for mansplaining the weather to me, I hadn’t noticed.”

“C’mon, Cricket, please, just let me talk to you. I know this is all crazy, but will you at least hear me out? Just give me a little more of your time.”

“More of my time?” she cried out, and began pounding wildly on my chest. “How much more of my time do you want, Minus? You’ve already held me hostage for six years and now you want more? I won’t give it to you. You can’t have any more of my time, or my heart, or me.”

I pulled her close and covered her mouth with mine. Goddamn, she felt right, she felt like home. She fell into me and moaned softly. Her hands came up to my face, as she returned the kiss hungrily. She tasted even sweeter than I’d remembered, and I held her tightly as we kissed again and again.

“What are we doing?” she asked, finally breaking away.

“What we’ve both wanted to do for the past six years.” I stroked her face, soaked from the rain. “Come with me. We’ll talk in my room.”

She bit her lip, but gave me a quick nod.