Minus

The demonic spirits that had cooked up last night’s events now lived inside my skull, and were jabbing me awake with their pitchforks. As I awoke, strange scenes replayed in my mind like a slide show of someone else’s bizarre life. I could barely make sense of what was real and what was imagined. The last thing I remembered was a tray of shots, and two very handsy women. For all I knew, I was currently in bed with one of them.

“Good morning, lil’ cowpoke!” Clutch burst through the door.

“What the fuck Nicky? What time is it, man?” Every ray of sunshine creeping into the room felt like a paper cut to my corneas as I forced my eyes open.

“It’s nine-thirty,” he said, setting a cup of coffee, and an iPad on the night stand next to the bed.

I pulled the covers back, and checked the bed for anyone else, but I was currently it’s only occupant. “Thank God,” I groaned out before sitting up, and grabbing the coffee.

“What are you looking for?” Clutch asked.

“Not what. Who,” I replied.

“Nah, man. You passed out here all alone. Not for lack of trying from a couple little honies, might I add,” he said with a sly smile.

“Yeah, I remember... sort of.”

“Shit, man, they wanted to bring you back here together, but you were havin’ none of that. What’s up? You find Jesus down there in the Bible belt or something?” he asked.

“Where exactly is here?” I asked.

“My place. It was getting wild back at the club house, and you were in pretty rough shape by the end of the night, so I brought you back here. I figured you probably didn’t have a place to crash, so welcome to Casa de Clutch.”

“Thanks brother, I appreciate it. What’s this?” I asked, motioning towards the iPad.

“That is all the info I could find out about Viper and his crew. Once you brighten up a little, you and I are gonna ride out, and pay him a little visit,” he said.

“How are we gonna ride? I don’t have a bike here,” I asked.

“Apparently, Cutter took care of that,” Clutch replied.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come see for yourself,” he said, producing a set of keys from his kutte pocket, and tossing them to me.

“What the fuck are these?”

“They’re keys, shithead. Come on,” he said.

I grabbed the coffee and handed the iPad back to Clutch. “I still haven’t agreed to help you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, and I followed him out to the garage. Clutch hit the lights, and I could see his old shovelhead parked next to a brand-new Fat Boy.”

“You get a new bike?” I asked.

“Fuck, no! I could never replace Charlene,” he exclaimed. “That one’s yours. Grover brought it over this morning.”

“Please tell me they didn’t steal this for me?”

“No, you idiot, it’s a gift from Cutter. There is a card around here somewhere, too.”

“A card? What is this? A fuckin’ Hallmark moment?”

“I dunno, man. After all the shit Cutter said last night, all fuckin’ bets are off. Maybe he’s goin’ soft because he’s dying.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I replied.

“Well, you can ask him yourself in twenty minutes when we go see him.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. He told me last night before I left that he wanted us at the Sanctuary by ten o’clock. I let you sleep as long as I could, but we’ve gotta go.”

“You’re killin’ me, brother. I’m not fully functional yet. I haven’t even finished my coffee.”

In truth, I was going to need a lot more than coffee to clear my head. Why the fuck was I at the very top of Santa Cutter’s nice list suddenly? Was this bike some sort of bribe? Either way, I was parking it on Cutter’s front lawn when I left, which would be very soon I hoped.

“Put that coffee in a to-go cup,” he said. “C’mon man, let’s go.”

I had to admit, even as fuzzy as I was, the Fat Boy was pretty sweet looking. I slugged down the remaining contents of the cup and grabbed the helmet sitting on top of the seat.

“You gonna be able to get that brain bucket over your swollen mug?” Clutch asked.

My head was pounding so hard from last night’s partying, I’d momentarily forgotten about my eye, and who’d hit me.

“That’s strange. I don’t remember one of the books I sent you being a joke book,” I said.

“Come on, Rocky, let’s see if you still remember your way around town,” Clutch said, and fired up Charlene.

I put the key in the ignition and started the Fat Boy. The engine came to life with a roar, and my pace quickened as I revved the throttle.

Clutch hit the garage remote on his key fob, and we sped off toward the freeway entrance. I’ve always said that riding is the best cure for the common cold. No matter how shitty I may feel, the minute I hit the road, my mood always improves. The fact that I was riding a brand-new Harley equipped with a 114-cubic inch big twin engine certainly didn’t hurt, and although I didn’t know why Cutter had given it to me, I was more than happy to see what this baby could do.

* * *

Cricket

Hold this pace until you reach that tree, then sprint for one minute.

I did as I’d instructed myself to do, and ran at top speed up the inclined path. My burning lungs gladly took in the cool morning air as I counted backwards from sixty. Once I reached zero, I slowed my pace back down to a jog, once again starting the cycle.

This was how I managed my life in all things. I’d set a short-term goal, hold myself to achieving it, and once I did, set another. This process of progress made perfect sense to me and I saw no reason to change my methods. Why would I? Everything was going great. Well, most things were going great. Some things more than others, I suppose. But the point was, I had a plan for how my life was going to go. I also had plans for how I was going to erase whatever last night was, and those plans included running through Cedarwood Park until my legs were jelly.

This was my favorite running spot in all of Portland. I loved the way the trees changed color from one day to the next, the peaceful serenity of the winding trails, and the absence of reminders of modern life. The park was just about perfect. I say just about, because there was one thing I absolutely did not enjoy about these trails, and as I rounded a sharp turn I was face to face with one; or should I say face to snout? Whatever you call the front part of a horse’s face... said snout was right in front of me, and believe me when I tell you, I do not like horses.

“Ho, girl!” A beautiful blonde rider said, stopping her horse on a dime. “Sorry about that, we didn’t see you there.”

My heart raced as I felt the ground shake beneath me; the giant animal standing mere inches away. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that close, but it sure felt like it too me.

“No, that’s okay. That was my fault, really. I was lost in thought and... the corner... I...,” I said backing up quickly, hoping I wouldn’t spook Horsezilla into a killing frenzy.

“Her name’s Tasha. She’s super friendly. Would you like to pet her?” the rider asked, unaware that I’d rather wrestle a rattlesnake away from a rabid Pitbull than come near her (or any other) horse.

“Oh, no. No thank you, I’m... I... I don’t care much for horses,” I sputtered, still backing up from the fiery red beast. The rider looked at me as if I’d suddenly started speaking a foreign language in the middle of our conversation. “Sorry again, enjoy your ride,” I called out while giving them an extra wide birth to pass. The blonde simply smiled, and with the slightest flick on the reins, she and her two-thousand-pound terror continued down the trail.

My fear of horses comes from one of my earliest childhood memories. My parents took me to a petting zoo when I was very little. I remember holding an ice cream cone that was filled with green pellets, and feeding the goats. I can recall laughing because the goats preferred to eat the cones, and the feed pellets would spill all over the ground for the chickens and bunnies to eat. I did this over and over, laughing harder and harder each time, and my dad bought cone after cone, just to keep me happy.

This was also one of the only items of video evidence my parents captured before Mom died. So, whether it’s a memory from childhood, or a continuation of the movie playing in my mind, I don’t know. But I know I was blissfully happy.

Until...

Mom thought it would be a good idea for us to stand in the hot sun to have my picture taken atop Jonah the Wonder Pony. Apparently, he’d been a big deal in Atlantic City in his prime. He was in one of those high dive horse acts, but had since been retired from the big show.

Jonah now spent his days in petting zoos, wearing a rhinestone saddle, posing for pictures at five bucks a pop. I didn’t know if I was going to pass out from the heat or the anticipation, but by the time we got to the front of the line I was near delirious with joy and sunstroke. My father, holding my hand, led me ever so carefully up the steps to Jonah’s picture area. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. The pony bowed his head, and I reached out my tiny hand to pet him. This was the happiest moment I’d ever known, right up until the moment he leaned forward, and bit me on the shoulder. I cried all the way to the doctor’s office, where I had to get several shots, and then I cried all the way home. From that moment on, I could do without the equine species.

I reached my car, my run now over, and decided I needed some sister processing time, so I dialed Maisie.

“Well, hello, favorite sister-in-law on the planet,” she said.

“I’m your only sister-in-law, but I’ll take it.”

She chuckled. “You sound out of breath; did you just go for a run?”

“I did. And I nearly got killed.”

“What?” she asked with a gasp.

“Homicidal horse.”

“Bloody hell, Cricket, I thought you were serious,” she admonished. “Horses aren’t homicidal.”

“This one was.”

“Oh, really,” she deadpanned.

I sighed. “No, not really, but whatever... they’re all monsters.”

She laughed again. “You can have that argument with Poppy. She’ll set you straight.”

Poppy was obsessed with all things horses, she even took lessons from my landlord, Kim, and competed in events. I would watch her on occasion, so long as the horses stayed in a fenced area and I could keep my distance.

“Um, so, is Hatch at church?”

“Yes,” she said with a tone of suspicion.

“Would you mind some company?”

“Not at all, love. You know that you’re welcome here anytime. You don’t even need to ring first.”

I smiled. “I know... I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to make the drive, but I need some advice and I’d like to see you.”

“I’ll put the kettle on. See you in a few.”

“Awesome. Bye.” I hung up and climbed into my car.

I’d left work a little early to get my run in, so I was a little concerned about traffic over the I-5 bridge, but as I pulled onto the freeway, it looked like I had a smooth drive ahead.

I loved my apartment. It was super modern and had a view of the water, not to mention, my dear friend and landlord Kim gave me the deal of the century, rent-wise.

But.

It wasn’t close to my family. Technically, it was only about twenty minutes from Vancouver, Washington, but Portland traffic had become unbearable, so it was taking longer and longer to go anywhere.

This time, luckily, it took me fifteen minutes, so I felt a little pressure leave my shoulders as I used my key and let myself into their home. “I’m here,” I called out, and locked the door again.

“Kitchen,” Maisie called back.

Arriving in the kitchen, I grinned. Poppy’s head was bent over a text book, while Maisie stood at the island pouring water into a teapot. “This is the perfect scene of domestic bliss.”

Poppy rolled her eyes, standing so she could hug me. “You can do my algebra homework, then.”

“That’s way out of my mental league, sweetie. Sorry.” I chuckled, giving her a squeeze before planting myself at the kitchen island.

“Mummy, I’m going to take a break, okay? I only have one more section and it’s not due until Friday.”

“Is the rest of your homework done?” Maisie asked.

“Yep.”

“Off you go, then.”

Poppy cleared her mess and left the room, hugging me again before disappearing.

“So, what’s up, love?” Maisie asked.

“Minus.”

She pulled a stool out and sat beside me. “Hmm. Yes, I’ve heard all about the mysterious Minus.”

I grimaced. “Ergo, you’ve heard Hatch’s version from the filter of way overprotective and nosy brother.”

Maisie giggled. “Probably.”

“Everything’s a mess, Maze.”

“How so?”

I filled her in on mine and Minus’s altercation, because I wasn’t sure how much Hatch had told her from my freak out the night before.

“So, you hit him?”

I nodded. “Drew blood.”

“Goodness, that’s quite impressive.”

I sighed. “But now I’m feeling all guilty and shit.”

“Why, love?”

“How much can I tell you without it getting back to Hatch?” I challenged.

“I share everything with him, Cricket, but if it’s not relevant to your protection, or something that might piss him off, I’m open to keeping that between you and me.”

“Like something that happened when I was a teenager that might make my brother fly into a homicidal horse-like rage?”

Maisie laughed. “Again, horses don’t willingly commit murder... but yes, that.”

“Minus was my first love. He was my first... everything, and as much as I try to tell myself that I’ve gotten over him, I don’t think I ever have. I think he’s the reason I’ve never been able to fully drop my guard in any relationship, and why I’ve never been able to picture myself staying with anyone long term. I’ve always been able to use my business pursuits as an excuse for not getting overly attached to any man, but maybe Minus has always been ‘the one’ in my mind.”

“I take it he’s quite handsome.”

“No, sis, he’s fuckin’ hot. And he’s amazing in bed.” I gasped. “Sorry, that last part was supposed to be internal.”

“It’s been a long time since you’ve been together,” Maisie said. “Maybe he’s not as good in bed as you remember.”

“Maybe.” I laughed. “God, I want to find out, though. Especially now that he’s got this slight southern twang thing going. So, so sexy.”

“You are an adult now, love. You can sleep with him if you so desire.”

I shook my head. “I’m not ready to go down that rabbit hole. I mean, not that he’s offering, or anything. Right now, he hates me, and I’d like to keep it that way, because the second that man’s dick is inside of me, I know two things: I’ll want more, and I’ll ignore some of his glaringly bad personality flaws.”

“Well, I can relate to the wanting more,” she said. “But I’ve never seen you explain away personality flaws... with anyone.”

“Because you haven’t seen me with Minus,” I admitted. “He’s my Achilles heel.”

“Wow. Your brother didn’t mention all of this.”

“My brother doesn’t know all of this.” I grimaced. “Minus and I were together for almost a year, but we kept the depth of our relationship secret right up until the end. No one knew the whole story.”

“Him leaving must have been tough.”

I nodded, biting back tears. “One day he was here, the next he was gone, and I never heard from him again.”

“What a bastard.”

“That’s what I thought back then, too. But, last night... he seemed confused.”

“Confused, how?”

“Like he’d kind of been bamboozled by Cutter as well. Like none of this was his choice. Of course, I knew my brother didn’t want us seeing each other, and that Cutter was angry at Minus, but I figured since he never reached out after he moved away, that he simply didn’t care about us.” I let out a frustrated groan. “I can’t go there. If I give him any leeway emotionally, I’ll let him back in.”

Taking the subject off my overwhelming emotions, she asked, “So, Cutter wants him to take over the club?”

“No, he wants us to take over the club.”

“Holy shit,” she breathed out.

“Exactly. I think he’s gone a little insane. It’s the dumbest idea on the planet.”

“Yes, it’s a bit out there. Plus, the Burning Saints are one-percenters, which means they’re all criminals.”

“I know,” I rasped. “It’s a shit show. The thought of Minus going to jail is just too much to deal with.”

“You mean, you don’t want him to do anything criminal that would put him in jail?”

“No. I mean, I don’t want him to get caught.”

“Whoa, love,” Maisie said. “That deescalated quickly. I find it interesting that you were concerned about him going to jail... not that the club or his actions might be criminal.”

“You’ve been married to a club member long enough to know that sometimes you have to bend the law. It’s not like the Dogs are pure as the driven snow.”

“I hear you, Cricket, but your brother always does the right thing, and would never choose violence to resolve matters. And the club’s businesses are all legal, so I don’t have to worry about him going to prison. If you really feel like it’s okay for Minus to flat-out break the law, then you might not like the end result, because you’ll be able to justify any yellow or red flags that come up. And, I’m sure as hell your brother’ll burn the club down if you get dragged into anything he doesn’t approve of.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” I sighed. “God, this is so hard. I just wish I knew exactly where Minus has been and what he’s been up to all this time.”

“You know, there’s a way you can find out all the information about Minus that you need,” she said.

“Booker!” I exclaimed. Booker was the Dogs of Fire resident computer guru and finder of all things. “Yes, that’s perfect. I can have him hack his DMV records, utility bills, credit card statements—”

“No, silly girl. You can ring Minus, and ask him yourself.”

“I don’t have his cell phone number,” I said, figuring that was enough to shut that idea down.

“Perhaps, that’s where you could ask Booker for assistance.”

“I could,” I confirmed. “But Booker will tell Hatch if I ask for information.”

“Oh, sweet, darling girl,” she sang. “You don’t ask Booker... you ask Dani.”

I let that nugget of advice sink in, and smiled slowly. “You are a devious genius, Maisie. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“Lots of times.” She grinned. “My work here is done.”

“Babe?” my brother called.

“Just in time,” I whispered.

“Kitchen,” Maisie called.

“Is Cricket here?”

“Why don’t you walk your nosy ass in here and find out,” I retorted.

My brother strolled in, making his way to Maisie, kissing her sweetly, before leaning over and kissing my cheek. “You good?”

“I’m great. I was in the area,” I lied.

He stared at me for a second (like he did when he didn’t believe me), but he didn’t challenge me, and I let out the breath I’d been holding.

“Well, I better head out,” I said, and slid off my stool. “Early meeting tomorrow.”

“Thanks for dropping by,” Maisie said.

I hugged them both, then walked out to my car, but I waited until I was out of their neighborhood before dialing Booker’s wife, Dani. My brother still had omniscient ways and I didn’t want to chance it.