Nobody's Fantasy by Louise Hall (1)

ZEV

 

The first time I ever see Jane is down by the beach.

You’d think that it would be a typical place for me to meet women since apart from a few years living in L.A., I’ve lived in Oahu all my life but the truth is, I’m not really a surfer dude so I don’t come down to the beach that often. My roommate, Danny is though and he wants to go surfing first thing this morning. Since I’m working the late shift, I offer to help him out by covering his juice stand for a couple of hours.

After the early morning rush is over, when all of the nearby college students are safely juiced up and in class, I have some time to think which generally isn’t good for me so I look around for something, anything to distract me.

The beach is empty: it’s mid-week, we’re just far enough away from the big hotels that there aren’t any tourists milling about and the ocean is calm so the serious surfers like Danny have gone elsewhere.

I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye and watch as a young woman dressed in black leggings and a loose white vest carefully attempts to cross the road. From the way she’s frantically checking left and right, you’d think that she was trying to cross a seven-lane freeway in rush hour instead of a quiet back road. The whole time she’s crossing the road her fists are clenched tightly by her sides. I wonder if she’s just had an argument with somebody and come down to the beach to cool off. My own fists clench as I think that maybe she’s had a fight with her husband or boyfriend? If that’s right, they are the very worst kind of stupid for (a) letting her go off on her own and (b) doing something to piss her off in the first place. I’ve never been territorial over a woman before now.

The beach here, like all the beaches in Hawaii, is beautiful and most people take off their shoes when they step on to the sand for the first time but she doesn’t. She’s wearing big, chunky trainers and she keeps them on the whole time. I watch as she walks towards the ocean but stops about halfway back and sits down. She sits there for what feels like hours just staring out at the horizon and I wonder what she’s thinking about? I realise that I was wrong before, she isn’t angry about something. She’s sad, I can see it almost as clearly as if she’s dragging it in a burlap sack behind her.

 

LOLA

 

I only moved to Oahu a couple of months ago and I don’t know anybody here apart from my younger brother, Mateo, who I’m living with. He’s studying marine biology at the university. We live right across from the beach but I never come down here on weekends or if the forecast says that they’re going to get even halfway decent waves. I only come out when I can guarantee that I won’t see anybody. I like looking out at the huge ocean in front of me and not having to think about all of the bad things that have brought me here to Hawaii.

Even though there’s nobody else on the beach, I still hesitate about taking my shoes off. I don’t have a right foot anymore; I have a gruesome claw instead. My parents, my brother and my younger sister (when my parents are in earshot) tell me that it isn’t ugly but I know that they’re only trying to make me feel better. I lost all my toes on my right foot in the accident and then the infection I got in the hospital afterwards ate up a lot of the muscle in my right calf. The double whammy of compensation I received means that I’m kind of wealthy and it pays for custom-made padded leggings and shoes to try and disguise the ugliness but it doesn’t bring back everything I’ve lost.

The trouble is that the ocean looks so tempting. It’s a really hot day and I’ve already drunk the bottle of water I brought with me. I passed a juice stand on my way down to the beach but the guy manning it looked like he was either asleep or stoned.

I look left and right making triply sure there’s nobody else around before prising off my trainers. Without the support for my right foot, I’m a little more unstable and so I have to pick my way carefully across the warm sand. I roll up my leggings a little and let the cool water rush over what’s left of my feet.

One of my earliest childhood memories is going to the beach in Santa Monica with my mum and dad. We had beaches back home in England but we didn’t have a lot of sunny days to actually enjoy them. My mum had never been to California before and it had always been her dream to see the Pacific Ocean. I remember she was so excited as she clasped my hand inside hers and we ran towards the ocean together. Ugh, I feel a sharp pain in my chest. I miss my parents so much but I can’t be around them right now without feeling like a big, fat failure.

The sand sinks down a little as the tide washes out and it’s enough to knock me off balance. I tilt sideways and before I know it, I’m falling. Great! This is just the latest in a long line of Lola goes arse over tit moments. At least there’s nobody else here to witness my humiliation. Except of course I’m wrong. There’s never anybody there to witness my finest moments like when I make it across the road without having a complete panic attack but the moment I fall over in the shallowest water possible, of course somebody appears out of nowhere. I feel their hands on my waist and it’s so long since anybody’s touched me, since I’ve allowed anybody to touch me, that my first thought is that they’ve got to be a danger.

I’m feeling steadier now so I whip around and shove them backwards. I absolutely don’t notice how hard their chest muscles are under my fingers, absolutely not.

“Hey,” the guy yells. I must have caught him at a bad angle too because even though I barely touched him and he looks strong enough to withstand a force nine gale, suddenly he’s falling backwards too and it’s quite something to watch. His arms are frantically pin-wheeling trying to keep him upright but there’s a loud splash and he’s down. I think he might be the stoner from the juice stand, i.e not a threat so I reach down to try and help him stand up. As I offer him my hand, I notice that his jeans-clad leg is getting longer and longer. It’s like that toy my cousins, Rocco and Luca used to play with, where you could stretch out the doll’s arms and legs.

His leg suddenly pops out of his jeans and is in danger of getting carried away by the surf. I’m standing there, kind of mesmerised just watching his trainer bobbing up and down on the water when I realise that I’m being a jerk and since I’m the one standing and OK, the one who knocked him over, I should really grab his leg before it reaches Japan.

 

ZEV

 

Seriously, that’s the last time I’m ever going to try and help a damsel in distress. I have to slide backwards on my bottom up to the dry sand so I can attempt to reattach my prosthetic leg. I look down at my soaked jeans and realise there’s no way I’m going to be able to do that without taking them off and I might have saved her from falling into a shallow pool of water but I don’t think we’re at the stage yet where she wants to see my boxer shorts. “You need to turn around,” I say gruffly because I feel vulnerable without my leg and I don’t like it.

“Oh, please,” she rolls her eyes, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

I think she might be nervous though because she’s curled the toes on her right foot so deep into the sand, it’s like they disappear.

“I’m not talking about that, hot stuff.” I really like the way she blushes when I call her that. “I need to take my jeans off if I’m going to reattach my leg and I thought you might want to go on a couple of dates first before I show you my junk.”

“Oh,” she hiccups a little. “I’ve seen plenty of those before too.” She still turns around and it makes me think that she hasn’t seen a lot if any of them, despite what she might want me to think.

When I’ve got my prosthetic back on, I push myself up to standing. I can’t be arsed putting my wet jeans back on, I’ve got a pair of tracksuit bottoms in the trunk of my car.

“I’m not putting my jeans back on,” I warn her before she turns around.

“I didn’t ask you to,” she says snootily. I want to ask where she’s from because her accent definitely isn’t from around here.

It’s then I notice that she’s standing with one foot crossed in front of the other. My attention is drawn to her right leg where her leggings are still rolled up. Scar tissue marks her soft skin.

“Stop looking at it,” she hisses.

It’s then that I realise I was wrong before, she hadn’t dug her toes into the sand. She hasn’t got any toes on her right foot.

 

LOLA

 

Before he can say the wrong thing, because seriously what’s the right thing to say to somebody who literally has a gruesome claw instead of a dainty right foot? I hear my brother calling me from the top of the beach. I have literally never been so thankful to see Mateo before.

“I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?” Mats asks me when I reach him.

“No, I…” I look back down the beach at where the juice guy is obviously struggling. It looks like he can’t get his prosthetic to fit properly and without it, he won’t be able to make it back to his stand.

“I feel bad; he kind of helped stop me from falling before.”

“Go,” Mats says kindly. “Do you need anything or shall I see you back at home?”

“I’ll be fine. I love you.”

It’s probably weird that I always say “I love you” when I say goodbye to my brother but it’s something my whole family started doing after the accident.

When I make it back down the beach, the juice guy looks up at me from where he’s sat on the sand. “Don’t want your pity, hot stuff.” I like it that he calls me that. Even if it’s just a line he uses, I haven’t felt even remotely attractive since the accident.

“You’re not getting it,” I insist, helping him to stand up. “I’m just returning the favour. You helped me so I’m helping you.”

We hobble up the beach together, him carrying his prosthetic leg and me carrying his wet jeans.

 

ZEV

 

There’s something intriguing about Jane – I heard her friend call her name on the beach back there – and I’m not just talking about her lack of toes. Of course, because lady luck and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms anymore, when we get back to the juice stand, Danny’s there. He must have just arrived because he’s still wearing his wetsuit although he’s unzipped it to the waist. He’s the absolute quintessential surfer dude, ripped muscles, bleached-blonde hair and blue eyes.

“What happened to your leg, Zev?” Danny asks and then winces. Even though we’ve been friends since kindergarten, he still finds it uncomfortable to talk about my missing lower leg.

“I don’t know, man,” I roll my eyes, “I turned around and it just disappeared.”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I clap him on the back, “ignore me, I’m just in a bad mood.”

His eyes light up when he catches sight of Jane over my shoulder. “And who might this be?”

It might be weird considering we only just met like ten minutes ago but maybe we’ve got a kinship because of our missing bones. I can tell that Jane is desperate to leave but she doesn’t want to be rude.

“Danny, Jane, Jane, Danny.” I half-heartedly introduce them while I rummage around in the trunk of my car for my sweatpants. I feel more comfortable after I’ve attached my leg properly and pulled on my sweatpants.

Jane obviously feels the same because when I turn around, she’s got her trainers back on and her leggings are pulled right down so all evidence of her disability is covered up.

A car whizzes past us, music blaring loudly and she jumps. “Are you OK?” I ask.

“I’m fine, I’d better go.” She focuses all of her attention on the road. “My brother’s waiting.” She might not have meant to say it but I’m definitely pleased that the guy she was talking to earlier was her brother and not her boyfriend.

I watch her carefully cross the road again and disappear up the steps to her house. I’m still watching the empty space when Danny whacks me in the chest. “You can’t go after her, you know.”

“What?” I spin around. He’d better not be making a claim for her.

“Don’t give me that look,” he hops up on to the stool at the side of the juice stand. “I’m just saying, do you really think it’s wise with your history to get involved with somebody like her?”

My nostrils flare even more, “what do you mean somebody like her?”

“I saw her foot, man,” Danny replies and before I can punch him in the face for being such a shallow bastard, he continues, “I also saw how much she jumped when that car went past and how careful she was crossing the road just now. I’d bet any money that she was injured in a car accident. If you get involved with her, you’ll both get hurt. Find somebody else.”

I can’t be bothered going back home and when I get to the Ink, the tattoo shop where I work, Emmeline, one of the other artists, wrinkles up her cute, little button nose. “Ugh, you stink. What the heck happened to you?”

“I love you too, Emmy,” I chuckle, ruffling her hair which I know for a fact she hates. She tries to swat me with her small ineffectual fists but I duck out of the way.

“I went for an impromptu swim.” I’ve got a spare pair of clothes in my locker so I rip off my damp t-shirt. Emmy doesn’t even bat an eyelid at my bare chest, which I’m totally glad about since she’s my cousin and it would be beyond weird if she thought about me like that. It does make me smile though that all the women in my life seem to want to punch me today, first Jane and now Emmy. I try to remind myself that Jane isn’t technically in my life yet.

“But you hate the ocean,” Emmy reminds me.

“I don’t hate it per se,” I reply, shrugging on a clean shirt. “I’m just not obsessed with it like most of the guys around here.”

 

LOLA

 

When I get back to the house, my brother is making BLT sandwiches which would be awesome if the “bacon” he was using wasn’t vegan. I mean, seriously, who wants to bite into what they thought was going to be a delicious slice of bacon only to find out that it’s dehydrated carrot? In my previous incarnation, I’d always eaten healthily but just when I could finally eat whatever I wanted, I had to go and live in Hawaii with my zealously vegan brother.

“Who’s the guy?” he asks, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. I’ve told him a thousand times he needs a haircut but he’s such an uber-geek, he’d much rather be studying.

“I’m not Sierra; I’m not going to girly chat with you.” Our younger sister, Sierra, is the total opposite of me. She is the girliest girl you could imagine.

“I’m like, totally devastated,” Mats rolls his eyes, “I was just checking if you’d made a new friend so I can tell Mum that you’re at least attempting to be social when she grills me about how you’re doing when she calls tomorrow. Do you want a sandwich?”

It’s funny really because when my parents first suggested that I come and live with Mats here in Hawaii, it was so that I could keep an eye on him because he’d graduated high school early and had a tendency to get so engrossed with his studies that he forgot the necessities of life like eating, sleeping and showering.

“Ugh, I wish she’d stop worrying about me so much.”

“No, you don’t,” Mats makes me a sandwich anyway even though I didn’t ask him to.

“I guess not.” We take our sandwiches and go and sit on the front porch. “This is a really good sandwich, it doesn’t taste vegan at all.”

“Ha,” Mats cackles, “perhaps I’m converting you to the dark side.”

After a few minutes of silence – that’s one of the things I love most about my brother, he doesn’t feel the need to fill in every break in conversation with mindless chatter – he asks, “are you friends then? I mean, you showed him your foot?”

I huff, “I told you not to call it that. It’s not a foot if it doesn’t have toes, it’s a claw.”

“Shouldn’t a claw have nails?” Mats asks.

“Fine then,” I huff again. “It’s an ugly, useless stump instead.”

“Jane,” Mats rolls his eyes again. That’s what we do now – I huff a lot and he rolls his eyes at me. “For the last time, it’s not ugly or useless; it’s just a foot without a few accessories.”

 

ZEV

 

I try to stay away from the juice stand, I really do. I know that Danny’s right; with my history, I’m not good for somebody like Jane. I last two days. I still score it as a win for my self-control though because I don’t actually get out of my car, I just sit in the shade and watch like a creeper as she skittishly crosses the road and then takes a huge gulp of breath when she reaches the other side safely.

I badly want to know what happened to her leg. Late at night, when I get back from the Ink, I lie in bed and stare at the Google app on my phone but I’ve only got her first name and address and I doubt even Google can make me that lucky. Even if I did have more information about Jane, I don’t know that I’d go through with it. I want her to tell me herself. I think that maybe if I hear the brutal truth from her, I’ll admit to myself that I’m the last person she should ever be hanging out with and I’ll leave her alone.

After a week of self-control… OK, mild stalking, I hate seeing her so scared of crossing that quiet road. I get to the beach early and walk across to the bottom of the stone steps in front of her house. I sit on the low brick wall and wait.

Jane’s house isn’t big and fancy. It’s a grey and white Craftsman with a deep front porch and a well-maintained garden which slopes down towards the street. From the looks of it, it can’t have more than two bedrooms and I wonder if anybody else lives there apart from Jane and her brother? It’s got unobstructed views of the ocean which means it must have been crazy expensive to buy or rent. I figure Jane’s in her early twenties and her brother must be four or five years younger. If it’s just the two of them, how can they afford such a property?

I’ve noticed that Jane only comes down to the beach when it’s likely to be empty and so I checked the forecast before I left this morning to make sure the ocean would be calm. When she comes down the steps a few minutes later, I can tell she’s surprised to see me.

She’s wearing a faded Seattle F.C. t-shirt with her leggings and trainers again and she’s tied her long, inky-black hair up in a messy bun. She looks gorgeous.

“What are you doing here?” she asks warily.

I don’t want her to think that I pity her – I know how much I hate that – so I lie. “My prosthetic’s being playing up…” I lay on the guilt trip. “I think the salt water might have damaged it so I’m not feeling all that steady. I thought I might as well wait until you came along and I could lean on you to cross the road. You owe me anyway for nearly gifting my expensive leg to somebody in Tahiti.”

I’ve never made so many references to my prosthetic while talking to a gorgeous girl before. I’m not ashamed of it – I don’t feel like less of a man or anything because I’m missing part of my leg.

It probably makes me sound pathetic but it works. “I guess.” I can sense Jane’s relief that she has somebody to look after her even if it’s just for the duration of crossing the road.

When we cross the road, Danny’s at the juice stand but he pretends not to notice us.

“Don’t you ever get hot in those things?” I ask, looking down at Jane’s ugly-ass trainers.

“Nope,” she shakes her head.

She walks down to her regular spot on the beach and I know it’s selfish of me but I want to spend more time with her.

It’s another hot day and I can see the damp patches on the backs of her knees. “Why do you keep yourself so covered up?”

Jane frowns, “you know why and before you give me any stick about it, let me remind you that you don’t exactly walk around in board shorts every day either, mister.”

“You’ve got me there but I can’t exactly wear shorts to work.” OK, I totally could, the Ink isn’t the kind of place to implement a strict dress code.

“You’ve got a job?” Jane splutters.

“Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence, hot stuff. I’m not a total bum, you know.”

Jane seems to sag at that. I kick myself when I realise that I don’t know her situation.

“Seattle F.C.?” I sit down next to her on the beach. “They are a soccer team, right?”

I thought that changing the subject would be a good thing but Jane seems even more closed off now. “Yeah.”

“You like soccer, huh?” I mirror Jane, staring off at the horizon. I don’t know what she’s thinking but I’m wondering when I lost my game? Even with my prosthetic, I’ve always done OK with the ladies but with Jane, I just can’t seem to impress her.

 

LOLA

 

I’m flattered by the attention. Zev’s gorgeous and I haven’t dated at all since Noah and I broke up after the accident. But then he has to go and remind me that he might not be a beach bum but I definitely am. I don’t have any of the things I’d thought I’d have by now. I don’t have a career or even any idea about what I want to do with my life. Nada.

Before the accident, my mum used to enjoy telling people the story of my first Christmas. After we’d opened our presents, she came back into the lounge and my dad was already teaching me how to score goals using balled-up wrapping paper and an empty cardboard box. My dad was a professional footballer for Manchester Rovers in the Premier League and then Seattle F.C. in the MLS. He even played for England in the World Cup. When I was a little girl, I was absolutely determined that I was going to be just like him when I grew up, all I ever wanted to do was play football.

My ex-boyfriend, Noah… yeah, I try not to think about him very often because it makes me want to punch my fist into a wall and I’m already missing toes and most of my calf so I can’t really risk losing any more limbs. He loved football too. I don’t know why I’m talking about him in the past tense – I’m sure, even though I haven’t talked to him since I woke up in the hospital after the accident, he still loves football. His dad played for Manchester Rovers alongside mine and I’ve known him since I was born. Even when my family moved to Seattle and his moved to Melbourne in Australia, we still e-mailed and Skyped all the time.

Do you want to know a secret? My name isn’t really Jane. Well, it is and it isn’t – it’s technically my middle name. My full name is Lola Jane Warner. My parents got married in Las Vegas after they found out that my mum was pregnant with me hence why my first name’s Lola. I was named after the Barry Manilow song and although my brother has gone along with calling me Jane because how can you say no to a girl who’s only got five toes, he jokes that Lola actually suits me better. When he’s feeling particularly annoying, he likes to hum the tune. He’s even taken to calling my missing toes, ‘Tony’. He thinks that I’m sat at the proverbial bar still in my feathers and sparkles (my Seattle F.C. t-shirt) drinking my sorrows (bottled water) thinking about how I’ve lost my love (I’m really hoping he knows that it was football and not Noah) and my Tony. I think I’ve mentioned before that he’s weird, I mean who goes into that much detail analysing song lyrics?

But despite what Mats might think, Lola’s gone and she isn’t coming back.

OK, so here’s what happened… Lola was a talented young footballer who was walking back from CVS to the hotel where she was staying with her boyfriend, Noah. Earlier that night, they’d had a big farewell dinner with their families, who’d flown to Miami for their graduation ceremonies. The next morning, Lola and Noah were supposed to fly to London where they both had offers from football clubs. They were holding hands and laughing at something Lola’s younger sister, Sierra had said at dinner.

Fortunately, I don’t remember anything after the squeal of the brakes but according to the police report, the bastard whose divorce had been finalised that afternoon and thought he’d drown his sorrows with vodka and then get behind the wheel of his truck – big surprise – lost control and mounted the kerb and Noah, always such a gentleman, ducked behind a stone pillar leaving poor Lola to take the full impact.

So Lola died that night, leaving behind poor, tragic Jane. Jane can’t play football anymore and she doesn’t have a boyfriend; she’s just blank space.

 

ZEV

 

When I look over at Jane, I can see that the sadness is back in her big, black eyes. “Go on a date with me,” I say before I can stop myself.

“What?” she splutters. “You’re crazy. I don’t even know you.”

“Hence why you should say yes and go on a date with me, hot stuff.”

“No,” Jane stands up and brushes the sand off her leggings. “You shouldn’t want to go on a date with me. I’m dark and twisty and I’m deformed.” She wiggles her right leg as if to prove her point. I might not like the fact that she’s covering herself up so much but I like the fact that she wears leggings all the time because she’s got sexy legs and when her t-shirt rides up, I can see her cute bottom.

“Hey,” I stand up too. “If you think you’re deformed, at least you’ve got a calf and foot. I’ve only got half a leg. We can be dark, twisty and deformed together over dinner.”

Jane rolls her eyes, “oh please, there is nothing remotely dark and twisty about you.”

I frown, thinking about what caused me to be in Jane’s words “deformed.” She’d be surprised.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jane scowls. “I’m going home.”

“I’ll pick you up at seven, hot stuff.”

 

LOLA

 

“Honestly, she’s good,” Mateo insists when he’s talking to Mum on the phone. I’m lying on the couch tossing popcorn up in the air and trying to catch it in my mouth. He looks across at me and even though he’s the sweetest guy in the whole world, I can tell from the mischief in his black eyes what he’s about to do but unfortunately I’m not quick enough to wrestle the phone away from him. “She’s actually got a date tomorrow night.”

“I’m going to kill you,” I mouth, thinking of how I’m definitely going to find some dead animals to put in his food.

“Mum wants to talk to you,” Mats smiles as he hands over the phone. Of course she does.

“Hey, what’s up?” I grimace. I wriggle so I’m sitting up straight because even though she’s all those miles away, I’m convinced she can tell that I’m sprawled out on the couch with popcorn kernels all over my t-shirt.

“Mats says you’ve got a date tomorrow night?” And this is why I didn’t want him to say anything, I can hear how excited she is for me. It’s only going to make it that much harder when I have to call her in a couple of days and tell her that the date was a disaster because I wasn’t lying when I said to Zev that I’m dark, twisty and deformed, I am.

There’s nothing I want to do less than hurt her. I remember when I woke up after the accident and she was sleeping in a chair by the side of my bed. Dad told me afterwards that she’d refused to leave my side even for a minute.

She asks me about Zev and I realise that I can give her this tiny little bit of normality. I can pretend for a couple of minutes that I’m normal again and this date has the potential to be anything other than a complete disaster.

After we’ve chatted for a while, she passes the phone to my dad and I want to laugh at how gruff he sounds, “Mum says you’ve got a date tomorrow?” I totally get why it’s a big deal to them – I haven’t dated at all since the accident.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal, just dinner.”

“Has your brother met him?”

“What?” I’m sure my eyes bug out of my head, “we’re not living in the dark ages, Dad.”

He insists so I reluctantly pass the phone back over to Mats, who’s been munching on popcorn and watching me this whole time.

Mats looks so serious, I’m sure Dad’s expecting him to give Zev the Spanish inquisition and then report back to him tomorrow. It makes me laugh thinking about my sweet, baby brother trying to interrogate Zev.

“Thanks for that,” I shove Mats when he finally puts the phone down. “Mum’s probably already picking out china patterns for our wedding while Dad’s hiring a private investigator.”

“They’re not that bad,” Mats says, reaching for another handful of popcorn, “they just want to feel like normal parents even though they’re all those miles away.”

“They’re the ones that asked me to come and look after you.”

“Yeah, right,” Mats laughs. “I can’t believe you fell for that. I don’t need looking after. I’m the most responsible member of this family.”

 

ZEV

 

It’s kind of weird actually venturing up the steps to the front door instead of standing at the bottom and waiting for Jane to come down but I figure since this is our first official date, I’ll do the gentlemanly thing. She doesn’t strike me as too girly so I wasn’t sure if I should bring flowers or not but my sister, Maggie told me I was being a butthead, you should always bring a girl flowers.

When Jane answers the door, I’m glad I listened to my sister because her eyes light up when she sees the bouquet of plumerias. She looks stunning in a long, blue dress and black strappy sandals. She’s pinned her black hair up and there are just a few tendrils framing her sweet face.

She wants to put the flowers in a vase before we go so she invites me in to the house. Jane’s brother, Mateo, is stood at the kitchen counter, pressing a slab of tofu.

While Jane goes upstairs to get her handbag, I make small talk with Mateo.

“If you even think about hurting my sister, I will come after you,” he says quietly. I appreciate that he’s so protective of his sister but I have to laugh at the idea of him hurting me. He’s so lanky, the only chance he’d have would be if he attacked me with one of the thick textbooks he’s got stacked up on the counter.

“You don’t need to worry, Mats,” Jane pats his shoulder. “If he tries anything, I can defend myself. I still remember what Rocco and Luca taught me all those years ago and he’s only got one leg.”

“Hey,” I scowl because nobody wants to be reminded of their shortcomings when they’re about to go on a date with a gorgeous girl. “We haven’t even left your house yet and you’re already insulting me.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Jane insists. “I was being factually correct. You have only got one leg. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, it’s just a thing.”

“So you wouldn’t get pissed off if I said your leg looked like a half-eaten turkey leg?”

Jane’s eyes spark fire at me. “Of course I’d be angry if you said that. That’s not factually correct, it’s just cruel.”

I watch as she moves behind the counter so I can’t see her legs anymore. “Jane?”

She turns her back on me, “get lost Zev, I can’t even look at you right now.”

After she’s gone back upstairs, Mateo gives me this look that says he’s about to try and kick my ass on behalf of his sister. Before he can make a move though, I stop him. “Did you see that?”

He looks confused, “did I just see you make my sister feel like garbage?”

“No,” I shake my head, “did you see how feisty she was?”

“Do you blame her?” he’s looking at me as if I’ve suddenly grown two heads.

“It was stunning.” I’m still kind of in awe to be honest. I’m sorry for what I said but definitely not why I said it. I would much rather Jane be pissed off at me than see her sad and lost like she was that first day at the beach.

Mateo rolls his eyes but he doesn’t look like he wants to punch me anymore so I can tell he understands. “You two are crazy.”

 

LOLA

 

After my aborted first date with Zev, when I wake up the next morning I thought I’d feel sad and hermit-like again but maybe I’m a masochist or something because the fact that somebody else had finally acknowledged that what was left of my leg and foot did look hideous was actually kind of freeing.

When I look out of my window, I can tell that it’s going to be another hot day but the forecast says that the ocean’s going to be calm again in this part of Oahu and I can’t be bothered wearing my padded leggings and trainers again. I’m fed up of trying to hide my injuries so I don’t offend anybody; today at least I’m going to let it all hang out. I pull on a pair of denim cut-offs and a white tank top and feeling particularly brave, I grab the wooden cane I have to use if I don’t wear my specially designed shoes.

The tarmac is so hot against my bare feet – I’ve got my sandals stashed in my bag – I’m not as stressed out about crossing the road as usual.

I’m almost past the juice stand when I hear Zev, “looking good, hot stuff.”

I flip him the bird and carry on walking down the beach. “Half-eaten turkey leg, my ass.”

After a swim – it’s kind of pathetic that I’ve lived in Hawaii for so long and I haven’t swum in the ocean before now – I walk back towards the road. Danny’s taken over from Zev at the juice stand and I tell myself that I’m not disappointed.

It’s a reminder that everybody apart from me has a purpose in life, a reason to get up in the mornings. Danny and Zev have jobs, Mats has his studies.

I check my watch, Mats won’t be back for a couple of hours and I want something more substantial than the herbal teas he likes so much.

I’m really glad tourists haven’t discovered this little part of Oahu yet. The small row of shops isn’t busy so Tony and I don’t get any stares. I’ve never been in the coffee shop before but the smell of freshly roasted beans makes me quicken my pace.

“Hi,” the girl behind the counter looks up as I cross the threshold. She’s got awesome bright-blue hair tied back in a ponytail. “I’m Vada. What can I get for you today?”

“Just a black coffee, thanks.”

“So…” I drum my fingers on the countertop and look around at the coffee shop but there aren’t any other customers. “Vada, huh? That’s a cool name.”

“Ha,” she laughs, “I was named after a character in an 80’s kids film.”

“It’s better than being named after a Barry Manilow song, I’m Lola.” Damn it, as soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. I’m not Lola anymore, I’m tragic Jane.

“Is something wrong?” Vada asks.

“I forgot for a second that I changed my name when I moved here, I was Lola, I’m now Jane.”

“I won’t tell anybody you slipped up,” Vada smiles, “but it sounds like there’s a story there.”

Apart from Mats and Zev, I haven’t talked to anybody else since I moved to Hawaii and I’ve forgotten how good it feels.

I expect her to sympathise after I’ve told her about my nightmare non-date with Zev. “You were trying to sabotage the date before it even started,” Vada comments as she wipes down the counter.

That wasn’t what I’d been expecting at all. Where was the sisterly solidarity, all men are jerks speech? “What makes you say that?”

“Why else would you bring up his leg like that?”

“Ugh, I wasn’t trying to insult him. I was just explaining to Mateo that I could defend myself if anything happened.”

“OK,” Vada says knowingly.

“Isn’t it just bartenders that are supposed to be amateur psychologists?”

“My mom’s a psychologist, it’s kind of in the genes,” Vada laughs. “Let me ask you a question though, do you like Zev?”

“Yeah but that’s not the point. When I was in the hospital and they took the bandages off my calf and foot for the first time, I resigned myself to the fact that nobody would like me like that again. I don’t want to be anybody’s pity date.”

“But you don’t like Zev because you feel sorry for him about his leg, do you?”

“No, of course not.”

“So why is it so inconceivable to you that he might feel the same way, that he might like you for you without it just being about your calf and foot?”

I finish the rest of my coffee, “so basically what you’re saying is I was a jerk to Zev and should probably apologise?”

Vada taps her finger against her chin, “if that’s what you feel like you should do.”

“Ugh, I’m not going to pay you for this session. Do you know his address?”

Although it’s close to the university, in this little part of Oahu, everybody still knows everybody else so of course Vada knows Zev’s address.

It isn’t that far away but the pavements are sketchy and I’m… me so when I get there, I’m so stressed out that I’m all hot and sweaty. There’s a big tree outside Zev’s building so I stand there in the shade for a few minutes hoping not to look like a pig on a spit when I have to do my least favourite thing ever and apologise to somebody.

I hear a car door slam and when I turn around, a blond-haired woman is struggling up the pathway with a big bag of groceries and a wriggling toddler. I quickly volunteer to take the groceries for her. “Thank you so much,” she says as she slots her key into the front door.

After I’ve carried the bag of groceries through to her apartment, which is on the ground floor of the building, she says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think we’ve met before.” She offers her hand to shake, “I’m Maggie and that little rascal over there is my son, Louis.”

“I’m Jane.”

“Have you just moved in?” she asks.

“No, I’m just visiting.”

She looks at me curiously. I’m starting to regret offering to carry her groceries. Today alone, I’ve more than doubled the number of people I’ve talked to so far since moving to Oahu (tripled if you don’t count my brother), maybe I’ve reached my limit and I should go and quickly crawl back into my shell.

“I’m not even sure that they’re home. I’d better go.”

“Which number were you looking for?”

“Apartment 2b.”

“Ah, 1st floor,” she points upwards, “are you a friend of Danny’s then?”

“Um, no. I was actually looking for Zev?”

“So you’re the girl he bought flowers for?” Maggie chuckles, pulling out a kitchen stool and indicating that I should sit down. “Bear with me a second while I finish putting these away and then I’ll make us coffee and you can give me all the gossip.”

“How do you know he bought me flowers?” I squeak, thinking that she’s awfully familiar with Zev for somebody who’s just a neighbour.

“Oopsie, I forgot to introduce myself properly. I’m Zev’s sister.”

“Wow,” I slump down on the seat. What are the chances? I realise I must have said that out loud because Maggie laughs again.

“Actually, you’ll be lucky to take two steps around here without tripping over one of our family members. You got his address from Vada, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought so. She’s our cousin.”

Great, I just spilled my guts out about my non-date with Zev to his freaking cousin and now I’m sat in his big sister’s kitchen.

She must pick up on my embarrassment, the flaming red cheeks probably give it away a little because she pats my shoulder, “don’t worry, whatever you told Vada this afternoon won’t get back to Zev. She’s like her mom, very good at keeping other people’s secrets. If I promise not to ask about you and my brother, will you stay for coffee? I’m desperate for a good, old girly chat.”

“OK,” I agree.

Louis is getting antsy so we take him outside to the small garden so he can run around while we drink our coffees.

“I love your accent,” Maggie smiles. “Where are you from?”

“Thanks. I was born in Manchester, England and I lived there until I was seven when my dad got a job in Seattle.”

“So what brought you to Hawaii?” Maggie asks.

I like Maggie so I don’t want to lie to her but my accident has a tendency to cut conversations off completely or turn them sour and it’s too nice a day for that to happen. So I give her a pared-down version of the truth; I was feeling lost after finishing my degree and my parents asked me to come and keep an eye on my brother.

We talk about our families and I relax because we’ve both got brothers and lots of cousins and it’s fun to share stories about them.

I’m almost sad when it’s time to leave but I can tell Louis is ready for his nap and I don’t want to impose on them anymore.

“I’ll let Zev know you stopped by,” Maggie insists as I’m waving goodbye.

 

ZEV

 

My sister, Maggie lives in the apartment below mine and Danny’s. I look after my two-year old nephew, Louis a couple of mornings a week and when I let myself into Maggie’s apartment the next morning, she’s sat at the kitchen counter with a smug grin on her face. I didn’t see her last night because I was exhausted after finishing a hellish tattoo for a client so I fell asleep almost as soon as I got home.

“So I met your girlfriend yesterday. I like her. You’d have really beautiful babies together.”

“Geez, can we dial back on the baby talk, Mags. It’s barely seven am and I haven’t had any coffee yet.”

She pours me a cup and slides it across the counter, “somebody’s grouchy this morning.”

“I’m not grouchy, I’m just…”

“Sleep-deprived, I’m a mom, I get it.” She scoops Louis up out of his highchair.

“Jane and I are definitely not going to be having babies anytime soon. I don’t even think she likes me. I mean we’ve had one disastrous first date, that’s all.” I can’t help it; my pride is still stinging from her talking about my leg like that.

“What happened?”

“You mean she didn’t tell you everything during your cosy chat yesterday?”

“Sheesh,” Maggie puts her head in her hands after I’ve finished telling her about my epic non-starter of a date with Jane. “I know I’ve been out of the dating game for a while but that’s awful, did you really think telling a beautiful woman her leg looks like a half-eaten turkey leg was going to work out well for you?”

“Hey!” I don’t like how she’s looking at me. “She said I only had one leg, remember.”

Maggie shrugs, “so what? You do. Jane was just being honest whereas you were a jerk.”

“So what you’re basically saying is that I was probably a jerk to Jane and should apologise.”

“Nope,” Maggie shakes her head, “I’m saying you were definitely a jerk to Jane and you should grovel not apologise.”

 

LOLA

 

I don’t like it but I’m already missing Zev. The schmuck has slowly wormed his way into my life without me noticing and it’s only the fact that I haven’t seen him for two days that’s made me realise it.

As if I conjure him up by magic, Zev appears on the steps leading up to the house. “Hey,” he smiles as if our argument two days ago never happened. “I heard you were looking for me. Want some company?”

I look up at him and I know I started the argument but it still hurts that he said my leg looked like a half-eaten turkey leg. “From you, no.”

He smirks and sits down in the chair next to me anyway. I quickly tilt my laptop away from him. Of course he notices. “It’s rather brazen of you to be watching porn out here, hot stuff.”

“Shut up,” I blush so much, I can feel it spreading like an ink blot all the way up to my hairline and out to my earlobes. “I’m not watching porn.”

“Then why are you trying to hide what you’re looking at?”

“There’s a thing called personal space, you know?”

“True but I did save you from drowning so I don’t think that applies to us.”

“It was like two millimetres of water,” I scoff, “a freaking hamster wouldn’t have drowned in that.”

“Are you going to tell me what you were looking at just now or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?”

“I’m not ticklish,” I insist, hoping against hope that I’m a really good liar because I’m like the most ticklish person ever.

Zev flexes his fingers, “yeah, right.”

“I’m serious, Zev.”

“Come on,” he says softly, all teasing gone from his voice.

“Why do you even care so much?” I ask. “Am I like a project to you or something?” I voice my deepest fear. “Like make the sad cripple feel normal for once?”

I blink really fast to keep myself from crying. I’ve cried enough over Tony. “Hey,” I feel his finger lightly touch my jaw and it tingles. He forces me to look at him. “Stop that, OK,” his eyes are the same blue-green as the Pacific Ocean. “You’re not a cripple.”

It’s too intense to have him look at me like that. I need to do something so I lift my foot. Tony is highly skilled at evaporating any quasi-romantic tension. “I’m not normal though, either.”

“Who wants to be normal?” Zev laughs, showing off his prosthetic.

“Fine,” I hand over the laptop so he can see what I was looking at.

“You’re looking for a job?”

“I don’t want to be a bum anymore, just hanging around here not really doing anything.” I don’t admit that I’m also hoping that it will stop me thinking about him all the time too.

“We need a receptionist over at the Ink. I could have a chat with the owner for you?”

“The Ink?”

“It’s a tattoo shop, hot stuff. I promise we only sacrifice virgins on the weekend.” Gah, I really hate how easily I blush around Zev.

“I’m not sure I’d be a good fit at a tattoo shop.” Despite the fact that both my parents have got tattoos, I’m definitely not cool enough to work somewhere like that.

“Can you answer phones, make appointments and keep our stock organised?”

“Well, yeah.” After the accident but before I’d moved to Hawaii, I’d worked in my dad’s offices doing the same thing.

“It’s settled then, I’ll ask Rusty to give you a call.”

 

LOLA

 

I know that it’s an extraordinarily dumb idea as soon as I get out of Mats’ car. It doesn’t help that I’m sweating buckets in the thick, black tights I’m wearing to cover up my deformed leg and I didn’t have time to order any workplace-appropriate claw encasements so I had to buy a pair of cheap black Mary Janes from the supermarket and stuff the toes on one side with newspaper. I’ve barely taken five steps across the parking lot and they are already hurting like a beeyotch.

I finally pluck up the courage and push open the front door and the candy-floss pink-haired hipster girl at the counter immediately busts out laughing. I’m not talking a cute, little giggle either, this is full-on guffawing with tears streaming down her cheeks and her body shaking as if she’s been electrocuted.

“What the heck are you wearing?” she asks when she can finally speak again.

I give her the once-over: she’s wearing a black tank top and faded denim dungaree shorts. I’m way, way, way overdressed but how was I supposed to know what a receptionist at a tattoo shop dresses like? I’d never even been in one until five minutes ago.

“Ignore Emmy, I think she was dropped on her head as a baby and any hint of manners fell out of her mouth.” I recognise the older man with a belly-grazing grey beard who’s just stepped out of one of the rooms as Rusty, the owner of the Ink.

He leads me through to one of the rooms at the back. I hand over my paperwork and Rusty frowns as he looks at my I.D. “I could have sworn Zev said your name was Jane?”

“It is,” I quickly explain. “My birth name’s Lola but I’ve gone by my middle name, Jane ever since I moved here to Hawaii.”

“You’re not in any trouble, are you?” He looks concerned.

I shake my head, “I’m not on the run from the police or any bad guys, I promise. You can even call my parents if you’d like.” Although how they’d react if they were called for a reference from a tattoo parlour, I don’t know. I guess I’d just have to remind them that they can’t be annoyed with me for working here since they’ve both got tattoos. “I’m just trying to… figure things out.”

That seems to satisfy Rusty because he slides my I.D. back across to me. “Good luck, Jane. With my daughter, Emmy out there, I think you’re going to need it.”

I gulp but he puts a hand on my shoulder, “something tells me you’re a lot stronger than you think.”

 

ZEV

 

It’s Jane first day at the Ink and even though I’m not due in until lunchtime, I’m crazy tempted to get there early so I can help her get settled. I know Rusty and Shanks will take good care of her, it’s the fire-breathing dragon with the daft pink hair that I’m most concerned about.

True to form, I’ve barely made it out of my car before I’m accosted by Emmy. She gives me a shove but like I’ve said before, she’s got tiny ineffectual fists so I barely feel it. “You need to have a word with your girlfriend, Little Miss Prissy Knickers.”

“What happened?”

“Dad asked her to clear up the storage room and when I went down there just now, she was sat in the middle of the floor painting her nails.”

That doesn’t sound like Jane at all. “You’re sure she was definitely painting her nails?”

Emmy gives me a look that says she’s this close to punching me again. “I know what I saw, she had her back to me but she had her knees pulled up to her chest and I could smell something funky – she was definitely painting her toenails.”

I laugh which just makes Emmy’s nostrils flare even more. “I’m serious, Zev. I know you’ve got the hots for her but she can’t be here if she’s not going to work.”

I’m desperate to tell Emmy the truth about Jane’s “toes” just to watch her squirm but it isn’t my secret to tell, it’s Jane’s.

“Is she still back there?”

“Yeah.”

I spot one of Emmy’s regulars walking towards the front of the shop. “Why don’t you see what Axe wants and I’ll talk to Jane.”

When I walk downstairs into the storage area, Jane immediately tries to get up but her tights are only half on and so she lurches forward. I reach out and wrap my arms around her waist, steadying her.

“How are you settling in, hot stuff?” I let my lips brush close to the soft hairs at the nape of her neck.

“I’m good.” She wriggles out of my arms and quickly straightens out her tights. “Do you need me for something? I’m almost done here.”

I look around at the storage area and darn, I didn’t realise the floor was supposed to be that colour, I’ve literally never seen it so clean and tidy.

I’m about to praise Jane for her hard work when I notice her wince as she forces her foot back into her shoe.

She bends down to scoop up a tube of lotion and I recognise the label. “Is your foot giving you trouble?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle,” she says stoically.

“Sit down,” I order.

“I need to get back out there, Emmy…”

“Rusty isn’t here so technically I’m the boss and I said sit down, hot stuff.”

She sits down on the chair and I carefully remove her shoe. A wad of newspaper is stuck to the top of her foot. “What’s this?”

“I don’t have any work shoes and I haven’t had time to order any so…”

“Your foot’s hurting.” I gently massage her foot over the top of her tights. “Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate this whole naughty secretary thing you’ve got going on here.” I gesture to the prim white blouse and black skirt combo she’s wearing. “But we don’t really have a dress code here at the Ink, you should wear whatever makes you comfortable.”

“I’d better order some more leggings then,” Jane smiles. It might be corny but her smile lights up the whole dimly-lit storage area.

“You don’t have to cover yourself up.”

Jane looks confused, “this is a place of business, nobody wants to be up close and personal with the claw.”

“You do realise where you work?” I ask. “Emmy’s up there right now with a guy who’s so obsessed with tigers, he’s having his entire back covered with stripes.”

“Really?” Jane asks and her dark eyes light up with curiosity. “That’s so cool. Do you think he’d let me see it when it’s done?”

 

LOLA

 

Mats has a study group at the library so Zev walks me home from my first day at the Ink.

He walks me up the steps to the front porch and waits while I unlock the door. “You could come in?” I suggest.

He reluctantly shakes his head, “I’d better not.” I must look disappointed because he says, “I want to do this properly, Jane.”

I watch as he turns and walks away. He’s a couple of steps down so he’s a similar height to me when he stops. “Jane?” The way he says it, for a second I almost wish I could hear him say my real name because it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

“Yeah?”

I’ve kicked off my hateful shoes and have to hold on to the railing for balance.

“You know before, when you asked why I care so much?” I swallow the huge lump at the back of my throat. I’d really hoped that he’d forgotten that moment of weakness.

He leans forward and touches my jaw; it makes me shiver. He slides his hand into my hair and my whole body breaks out in goose bumps. I’ve been touched before but not like this. Maybe I’m reacting so intensely because it’s been so long. I feel his lip ring rub against my bottom lip and then suddenly he’s kissing me. If he was trying to take things too fast, I would push him away but it’s one of the gentlest, sweetest kisses I’ve ever had. It feels like warm, syrupy honey is trickling through my veins. I want to cry with how good it feels to be just a girl being kissed by a boy again.

When he breaks away, his eyes remind me of tumultuous thunderstorms. His breathing is shaky and I can feel soft puffs of air on my lips. I’m a little bit in awe. Is it really me that’s made him feel like that? He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear, adding goose bumps on top of goose bumps. “That’s why,” he says huskily. He licks his lips almost as if he wants another taste of me. I lick my lips too, curious about whether I can still taste him and I really like how his eyes drop to them and he’s almost mesmerised by the tip of my pink tongue darting out.

“I’d better go,” he coughs. “I’m not down on the roster tomorrow so I’ll be here at six for that rain check?”

“What rain check?” I ask. My head still feels fuzzy.

“Our first date,” he grins, “you should wear that blue dress again. You looked hot as hell in it.”

His bossiness helps to clear the fog, “I might, I might not.”

 

LOLA

 

“What time do you finish?” I’ve stopped by the coffee shop on my way home from the Ink so Vada can talk me down from the ledge before my attempted second date with Zev.

“Your first day at the Ink went well then? Maggie said Zev was smiling from ear to ear when he got home last night.”

Darn, I’d forgotten that she was his cousin, “is that going to be weird, us being friends?”

“Don’t be silly,” she laughs. “Sal should be here soon to cover until closing. Do you want a coffee while you wait?”

I have to sit on my hands to stop them from shaking, “yeah, it’s probably not a good idea to add caffeine into this crazy mix.”

“You’re probably right. Do you want a pot brownie instead? Sal usually has a couple extra.”

My eyes must bug out of my head. “I’m kidding,” Vada laughs, “well not about the brownies, Sal usually does have a couple of extra. I think his mom makes them if you can believe it but I’m not going to corrupt you with them.”

When we get back to the house, Mats is there. I think he’s more excited about my date tonight than I am. He can’t wait to have the house to himself because he’s got a big test coming up and he’s uber-stressed out studying for it.

“I think maybe I should have asked Sal for those extra brownies after all,” Vada says after I introduce her to Mats and we head upstairs to my room. “Your brother looks really wound up.”

“He gets like that when he’s got a test coming up.”

“It’s cute the way he scrunches his nose up like that. Is he single?”

I splutter, “is he what?”

“Is he single?” Vada repeats.

“He’s Mats, of course he’s single.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Vada looks at me all wide-eyed, “he’s gorgeous.”

“Ew, he’s my brother, Vada!”

“Hey, I’m getting you ready to go out on a hot date with my cousin, remember?”

“Cousin is a million times better than brother, I wouldn’t care at all if you wanted to go out with one of my cousins, although Rocco and Luca’s wives might but you could always date Oliver?”

I rummage around on the top of my dresser for one of my favourite photos of my cousins at my Granny Reen’s birthday party a couple of years ago. “Meh,” Vada shrugs after she’s finished looking at it, “Oliver’s OK but he’s not Mats. Anyway enough about setting me up with your cousins, what were you thinking of wearing tonight?”

That’s the gazillion-dollar question – I explain how Zev kind of told me to wear the blue dress again but I’m not a huge fan of being bossed about.

“Show it me,” Vada insists.

The truth is that I don’t have a whole lot of fancy outfits in my closet – I’ve got stacks of t-shirts and padded leggings but not cute, date-appropriate dresses.

“It’s a gorgeous dress.”

“Ugh,” I flop down on to my bed, “he’s going to think I’m such a loser wearing the same dress again. Sierra would be so much better at this than me.”

“Or he might appreciate that you wore the dress he liked so much? Maybe we need a man’s perspective?”

Vada disappears and when she comes back, Mats is following her looking totally perplexed. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only member of this family that’s completely clueless about dating. It definitely never felt like this with Noah perhaps because I’d known him all my life. It would have been weirder if I’d got all dressed up and tried to impress him because he’d have known that it wasn’t really me.

“What do you think?” Vada nudges Mats.

“Jane,” Mats winces, “you promised you weren’t going to try and turn me into Sierra?”

“I’m not,” I insist, “I just need to ask you this one simple question and then I promise I’ll never ask you for fashion advice ever again.”

“It’s a pretty dress,” he concedes. “It’s definitely the nicest thing you’ve got in your closet, no offence and ugh… I think I might vomit but he did ask you to wear it so what’s the problem?”

“Fine.”

“Can I go now?”

When Zev arrives, Vada’s still there, trying to flirt with my brother.

“Do you need us to give you a lift somewhere?” I ask Vada.

“Nah, I’m good. I thought I might hang out here for a bit. You don’t mind, do you?”

“It’s up to Mats,” I shrug, “it’s his house.”

Vada flutters her eyelashes at Mats, “I could help you study for your test tomorrow. I’m an amazing study partner.”

“OK,” Mats concedes and I bite my cheek really hard trying not to laugh.

I meet Zev at the front door because I don’t want there to be any more weirdness. It’s bad enough that my new friend is making a play for my brother.

“No Spanish inquisition today?” Zev asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope,” I explain about Vada pursuing Mats.

“Poor guy,” he shakes his head, “when my cousin wants something, she’s relentless. He doesn’t stand a chance.”

Zev has driven to pick me up and looking at his car I panic because I haven’t been in a car driven by anyone but my parents or Mats since the accident.

“Tell me you’re a safe driver,” I say quietly, closing my eyes. I try and tell myself that if he’s really serious about this date then it’s probably a good idea to let him see the basket case he’s getting involved with now before things go any further. “You don’t take any risks and you stay below the speed limit.”

He hesitates for a moment and I’m sure he must think I’m a freak of the highest order but then he nods. “I promise I’ll always look after you, Jane.”

“OK,” I climb into the car and try to relax but I can’t keep from clinging to the side of the car every time we go around a bend.

Zev plugs in his phone and one of my favourite songs comes on. It’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. I turn to look at him. “I didn’t know you liked Queen?” I’d worn one of their vintage tour t-shirts to work today and when Zev had stopped by at lunchtime to talk to Shanks, he’d teased me because I hadn’t even been born when the lead singer, Freddie Mercury had tragically passed away.

He doesn’t say anything, he just smiles and I relax a little.

The music pulses through my bloodstream and when we stop at a set of traffic lights, Zev laughs, “I can’t believe you know all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody”, it’s a six minute song.”

I laugh too, realising that I must have been mouthing along without realising it. I don’t ever sing out loud because I have a terrible singing voice. “It’s my party trick,” I shrug.

“I wouldn’t have thought that somebody like you would be into a band like Queen.”

“Oh yeah,” I arch an eyebrow, “and what kind of music did you think somebody like me would be into then?”

“I don’t know,” he shifts a little in his seat, “just not that.”

I know I’m at least a couple of years younger than him so he probably thinks that I’m still into boy bands and the top 40. I’m not offended though because I kind of like messing with other people’s expectations of me. I mean, I grew up wanting to make my career playing a sport that a lot of people thought I didn’t have the right combination of chromosomes for. Also, it does wonders for a normal girl’s self-esteem watching an insanely hot guy wriggle and squirm. It’s like the universe tips in our favour for a moment.

“Oh my goodness, you’re just like Emmy,” I tease, “just because I’m not tatted-up doesn’t mean I’m a Little Miss Prissy Knickers, OK?” I giggle even more at his horrified expression. He mustn’t have realised that I’d overheard her awful nickname for me.

“I don’t think you’re a Little Miss Prissy… anything, OK?”

I’ve had my fun so we spend the rest of the car ride to the restaurant sharing theories on what we think “Bohemian Rhapsody” is really about.

We pull up in the parking lot of a fancy looking restaurant. There are groups of people milling about outside so I wait there while Zev goes inside. There’s a stack of leather-bound menus so I busy myself flicking through one of them and my heart sinks when I realise that he’s brought me to a vegan restaurant. I know it isn’t very ladylike and is probably completely inappropriate for our first official date but I was longing for something big and meaty.

“Our table should be ready in a couple of minutes,” Zev says when he comes back. I was so nervous before, I didn’t really get chance to take him in. He looks different than when I’ve seen him previously, more polished. His dirty blonde hair is slicked back in a low ponytail and he’s shaved. I’m beyond flattered that he’s made such an effort for our first proper date but I miss the real him, scruff and all.

“Have you been here before,” I ask, trying to gauge whether he genuinely wants vegan food or if he’s just trying to impress me.

“Nope, first time.”

I don’t want to stereotype because I know some really cool vegans like my brother but one of the women in the group in front of us has her blonde hair in ratty-looking but probably utterly on trend dreadlocks, reeks of hemp and is discussing the superiority of making your own almond milk instead of buying it from the market.

I look at the pleather-bound, uninspiring menu again. “What are you going to have?”

Zev joins me in looking at the menu and I swear his nose wrinkles just the tiniest bit. He doesn’t want to be here anymore than I do. Ugh, I could totally kiss him.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you bring me here?” I really hope I haven’t read the situation wrong. “I mean, if this is where you really want to go then I’m happy to try it but I’m not vegan. I mostly eat a plant-based diet here because Mats is and it’s just easier to make the same meals for both of us but…”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Zev chuckles. “What do you feel like instead?”

“I’ve heard about this place that’s supposed to do really great burgers?” The almond milk lady gives me the filthiest look.

“Hell, yeah,” Zev says, slipping his hand into mine.

We get the burgers to go and pull over at the side of the road so we’re facing the beach. Nothing calms me down faster than staring out at the Pacific Ocean. We climb up on to the hood of his car and eat our burgers and fries. They’re amazing with like a billion exclamation points.

“You’ve got ketchup on your cheek,” Zev comments.

I look across at him sceptically, “is that just a line so you can touch me again?”

He laughs, “nope, you’ve got a big dollop of ketchup on your cheek. It’s right there, I promise.” He even gets his phone out so I can check. Yeah, I was trying to be cute but the whole time I looked like a victim in a slasher movie. Such a Lola thing to do.

I grab a napkin and quickly wipe it off. “You should know that I’m epically bad at dating.”

“Why because you got a little ketchup on your cheek? That’s nothing. I once went out with a girl who spent the whole meal flirting with one of the waiters and then asked me to drop them both off at her apartment on the ride home.”

“Ouch,” I wince. “My prom date only asked me to go to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. It obviously worked since I caught them kissing halfway through the dance.”

“That’s tough.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t all bad though because then Noah turned up – he’d been living in Australia and I didn’t even know he was in the country let alone Seattle.”

“Noah’s an ex, right?”

“Yeah, we broke up after the accident.”

“He ditched you?” Zev snaps angrily.

“Actually,” I laugh, “I ditched him. I even did it by text message. I know, it’s shocking that a girl with only five toes would actually dump a guy that professes to love her. I mean it’s not like she’s going to get anybody else, is it?”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know you didn’t,” I put my hand on top of his. I’d forgotten that Americans weren’t as comfortable with sarcasm as us Brits.

After a couple of minutes of quiet, I turn to Zev, “shouldn’t we have had the The Talk by now?”

He looks at me, eyes wide and I decide that teasing Zev is my new favourite thing to do. He must have gone out with some real doozies in the past if he thinks it’s even a possibility that I’m angling for a ring and babies on our first proper date.

I hitch my dress up a little so it’s at my knee on my gammy leg. I’m so glad we didn’t try and have this conversation while we were still eating because I know it’s mine but that thing is still nasty. When I look over at Zev, his eyes are bugging out even more. Yikes, I only meant to lead into the conversation about how we lost our respective chunks of flesh and bone. He’s still looking at my mess of a leg. “Eyes up here, mister.” I’m starting to feel self-conscious, I can feel his gaze burning into my scarred flesh.

“I just thought,” I wring my hands together in my lap nervously, “since we’re here on this date because we want to get to know each other better, we might want to get it over with and share the gory details of our accidents.”

Zev doesn’t say anything and for the fifteenth time tonight, I want to curse my lack of dating know-how. I’m going to have to pore over the entire back catalogue of Cosmo before I even think about going out on a date again. I’m surprised I could get my burger in there with how firmly my foot must be entrenched in my mouth.

“It’s OK; you don’t have to tell me what happened. It’s not exactly my favourite subject either…”

Zev puts his hand on mine and it immediately calms me down. “I want to hear about what happened to you, Jane. If you want to tell me?”

I focus on the weight of his hand, the feel of his fingers entwined with mine. “I was with Noah when it happened. We’d just had dinner with our families and we were walking back to the hotel. I don’t remember the accident but I found out afterwards when I woke up in the hospital that when the car mounted the kerb, Noah ducked behind a pillar and left me to take it all. I lost my toes in the accident but at first my leg wasn’t that bad. I’m an overachiever…” I laugh but it’s hollow. “I couldn’t just get hit by a drunk driver and lose my toes, I had to go and get MRSA as well while I was in the hospital and it kind of ate up most of the flesh on my calf. The doctors fought really hard to save my leg but sometimes when I look at it, I kind of wish they hadn’t bothered. I know it makes me sound so ungrateful. It’s not just that it’s ugly, it hurts.”

“You think if they’d just cut it off, it wouldn’t hurt anymore?”

“I do,” I look up at him, “is that foolish of me? Does yours still hurt?”

Zev sighs, “I get phantom pains every now and again.”

“When I was younger, if I got really stressed out about something, I’d wiggle my toes. I still try and do that sometimes but it feels weird and then I remember that I’ve only got half my toes now.”

“I was in a car accident too,” Zev says quietly. He squeezes my hand but he isn’t looking at me, he’s staring out at the ocean. “I lived in L.A. for a few years and it happened while I was there. I was staying with a friend and I was driving back to his place late one night. My leg was too badly crushed for them to save it.”

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly. I know this is only our first proper date and he accused me of being a teenybopper earlier but I really hate the thought of Zev being in pain.

“You don’t still have feelings for him then?” Zev asks, “Noah?”

I shake my head, “I’m disappointed that things turned out the way they did. I mean, we’d been friends for all our lives but no, I’m not still in love with him. I know it was probably just a reflex but I couldn’t be with somebody who could be so cowardly.”

Zev lifts up his arm and I rest my head on his chest. “Have you ever been in love?” I ask him.

“I don’t know if it was love. I thought it was at the time. Sam and I were childhood sweethearts. She was the reason I moved to L.A. after high school but we broke up just before I came back to Hawaii. She wanted to be an actress, her career was in Hollywood and I wanted to come home. It was a mutual thing.”

We talk until it’s getting late and then Zev drives me home.

Like a gentleman, he walks me up the steps to the front porch.

“I can’t believe you made reservations at that vegan restaurant; that was so thoughtful of you.”

Zev smiles, “I wanted to do something nice for you. Besides,” his eyes twinkle, “you wore the blue dress for me.”

I gulp, “something’s happening here, isn’t it?”

He brushes a strand of hair away from my face and I love how it feels when he touches me.

“I like you,” he says quietly, “I like you a lot, Jane.”

“I like you too.”

We kiss again except this time, he puts his hand on my hip and it feels like he’s claiming me somehow and I really like it. I trace my fingers down the front of his shirt; I can feel his muscles are all bunched up underneath the thin cotton. His skin is toasty-warm.

When he eventually pulls away, I miss him immediately. “I’d better go.”

My heart’s pounding, “you don’t have to…”

Zev shakes his head, “I wish I could, Jane.” The fact that he doesn’t know my real name yet makes me realise that I’m not ready to take our relationship to the next level. He brushes his lips against mine one more time, “I don’t want to rush this.”

He takes a step back but keeps his hand wrapped around mine. “I really don’t want to go in there,” I admit.

His eyes darken, “I thought your brother was going to be home all night. You scared of the dark, hot stuff?”

“No, he is and I’m not. I’m just hoping that he’s alone, that’s all.”

“You’re worried you might walk in on your brother and Vada?” He takes out his phone. “Hey,” he says to the person on the other end of the line, “is the Smurf back yet? If she’s going to dye her hair that colour, I’m going to call her that. OK, cool. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Maggie says Vada got back about an hour ago so it’s safe for you to go inside.”

 

The next morning, I’m in the kitchen making Mats his favourite kale smoothie because I know he’s going to be stressed about his test. “You had meat last night,” he grunts when he comes downstairs, “I can smell it.”

“Just because you’re vegan doesn’t mean I have to be. I don’t bring meat into the house out of respect for you but when I’m out of the house, what I eat is none of your business.”

“It’s my house,” Mats snaps. I know he’s grumpy because of his exam but it seems like it might be more than that.

“You can’t just run around doing whatever you want, Lola.” Wow, he must be in a bad mood if he’s calling me that.

“In case you’d forgotten, I can’t exactly run anywhere anymore,” I wiggle my foot. I thought he might find it funny but his scowl just deepens. “Sheesh, Mats, it was just a joke.”

He lifts his backpack up on to his shoulder, “I don’t want your friend coming over to the house anymore. I needed to study last night and she kept trying to distract me.”

My protective big sister instinct kicks in, “did she cross the line? Do you want me to say something to her? I can be really scary when I want to be.”

“No,” Mats is so embarrassed, the tips of his ears have turned pink. “She was just so forward.”

“She likes you,” I say softly.

“She kissed me.”

My Brainiac of a brother looks so flummoxed at the thought that Vada might fancy him that it’s kind of fun. Even though it’s super awkward because he’s my baby brother, I have to ask, “do you like her, Mats? Is that why you’re extra-grouchy this morning?”

“No, yes, ugh I don’t know. She’s smart and pretty and our kiss was… yeah, you don’t need to hear about that but she’s got crazy blue hair and I’m a nerd, it’s never going to work.”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down. You’re one of my favourite people on the entire planet, OK and I’ll have you know, I’m very discerning.” At least that draws a smile out of him. I hand him the smoothie, “go kick that test’s behind and we’ll talk more later.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Mats grins.

Before he leaves, I hear him mutter, “she drinks coffee.”

“That’s not a crime, Mats,” I call back.

 

LOLA

 

Emmy and I definitely annoy the heck out of each other. I know she thinks I’m Little Miss Prissy Knickers and next to her I feel like the whitest, most straight-laced girl on the entire planet but I love working at the Ink. Emmy, Zev and Shanks’ works might not be displayed on typical canvases but they are definitely art. When I’ve got a quiet moment at the front desk, I flick through their portfolios and marvel at their artistry and crazy skills with needles.

The Ink has a lot of repeat clients but I can tell that Haley, the timid redhead sat primly on the leather couch at the front of the store is a first-timer. She keeps glancing up at the clock and I can’t decide if she wants it to go faster or slower. I’m trying my best to engage her in light-hearted conversation when Zev comes out of one of the back rooms. He doesn’t have any appointments right now; Haley is booked in with Emmy.

He’s followed soon after by Emmy. “Haley, it’s great to meet you. I’m Emmy,” she smiles, keeping the fire-breathing dragon well hidden. “Why don’t you come through and we can have a chat about what you’d like to have done today?”

After Haley follows Emmy into one of the back rooms, I go back to the front desk. Zev comes and stands behind me. He’s just close enough that I can feel his body heat.

“You don’t have any ink yet, do you?”

“Nope.”

“What about piercings?”

I bust out laughing – I’m definitely one of the tamest people to ever walk through the doors of the Ink. “Just my ears.”

“But you’re curious, aren’t you?” Zev asks. His hands lightly skirt over my hips and I really like the almost possessive feeling.

“Maybe a little,” I admit. I’m surrounded by so much gorgeous ink every day that it’s hard not to think about what I’d have done and where if I ever plucked up the courage to get a tattoo.

I lean back against Zev, he rests his chin on my shoulder and puts the palm of his hand on my tummy over the top of my t-shirt and I feel so safe there.

“If you were choosing for me, what would you do?”

A groan rumbles from his chest all the way up his windpipe, “do you know?” He coughs to clear his throat, his fingers digging into my tummy just a little. “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about having you in my chair?”

I wriggle so I can face him. I don’t tell him that it’s probably only slightly less than the amount of times I’ve thought about it.

“What would you give me?”

His eyes trail lazily down my body. How can it be possible to feel hot and shivery all at the same time?

“I’d give you whatever you wanted, Jane. You should choose your first one.”

I gulp. I keep thinking about all of the things that have been done to my calf and foot that were outside of my control and I really like the idea of doing something for me. “I want you to do it.”

“What?”

“I want you to tattoo my foot.”

“You don’t have to do this, Jane.”

I wrap my arms around his neck and gently tug on his sexy lip ring. “I know but I want to.”

“When?”

“Tonight?”

He groans again, “your family is going to kill me for corrupting you like this.”

I laugh, “yeah, right. Both of my parents have got tattoos, Zev.”

I might be a first-timer but I’m definitely nothing like Haley, I know when I look at the clock on the far wall that I want it go at warp speed so I can live out my fantasy of being in Zev’s chair.

After the last client has left, I walk across to lock the front door and flip the sign to ‘Closed.” I’ve got like a gazillion butterflies fluttering about in my tummy. Gah, it’s like I’ve got a weird foot fetish from the way my hands are trembling. There’s nobody else here – Emmy and Shanks have already gone home but it’s not like Zev and I are going to do anything I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my entire family watching. He’s just going to tattoo my foot.

“Are you ready?” Zev asks and I realise that it’s not the tattoo that’s making me nervous, it’s him. I like him way too much.

“Yeah,” I pretend my voice didn’t come out all squeaky.

I follow him through to the back room and as much as I can with my gammy leg, hop up on to his chair. I already know what I want.

“It’s the symbol of where I was born,” I explain.

He frowns, “I didn’t know bees were a symbol of Seattle.”

Although my family live there now, neither Mats nor I were born in Seattle. “I was born in Manchester, England. My family only moved to Seattle when I was seven.”

“That explains the accent then,” Zev nods as if it’s another puzzle piece slowly slotting into place. “I’ve always had a thing for British girls.” He winks.

I raise an eyebrow, “how many British girls do you know?”

“One’s more than enough.”

I bust out laughing, “you’re such a charmer.”

After he’s finished the tattoo, I try to sit up but I feel really woozy. “Zev, I don’t feel so good.”

When I stand up, I stumble and nearly fall. “It’s OK, I’ve got you.” Zev sits down on a low stool and cradles me in his arms. I feel like such a wuss because the tattoo he’s just given me isn’t even that big but I can’t deny that being wrapped up in his arms is really, really nice.

“Seriously, Jane?” Of course Emmy has to interrupt our perfect moment. “You’re supposed to be working not snuggling up to Zev.”

“Back off, Emmy,” Zev growls, “she’s not feeling good.”

“She’s got a job to do.”

I can tell without even looking that Zev is rolling his eyes at her. “It’s way after closing. Haven’t you got anything better to do with your night-off than come back here and spy on us?”

Emmy wrinkles her nose, “please, you two are really not that interesting to me. I left my cell-phone behind in my locker, that’s all.”

“Does she have a crush on you?” I ask Zev after she leaves, slamming the door behind her. “Is that why she’s got it in for me?”

Zev starts laughing, “she’s my cousin, Jane. She’s just angry with the world.”

“Wow,” I take a moment to let that shell of bombs sink in. “Your sister was right. Is there anybody in this part of Oahu that you’re not related to?”

Zev chuckles, “I’m sure there must be somebody. Let’s see… Pete from the market and Jessica at the bank are cousins on my mom’s side. Rusty is my dad’s brother and so his daughters, Emmy and Vada are also my cousins.”

“What?” My jaw doesn’t just drop to the floor, it starts tunnelling down towards the Earth’s core. How can sweet, funny Vada be related to the undisputed Queen of Snark, Emmy?

It’s Zev’s turn to be surprised, “I can’t believe you hadn’t already figured out that they’re sisters. You didn’t think that it was a coincidence that they both dye their hair crazy colours?”

“I thought it was a Hawaii thing. Oh my goodness, are you related to Shanks as well?”

“Not as far as I know.”

 

LOLA

 

I’ve got the morning off from the Ink so I grab my laptop and head to Vada’s coffee shop. I still can’t believe that she and Emmy are sisters. It’s a scarily small world here in this little corner of Oahu.

Vada is busy serving customers so I settle myself in at a table in the back. I’ve offered to help Rusty revamp the Ink’s website and although Mats is going to help me with the technical aspects, I’m still working on the design elements. I want to impress them all but particularly Emmy. She isn’t exactly happy that Zev and I are spending so much time together.

The closest competition to the Ink is Big Mike’s place nearer the touristy part of Oahu but although they’re both tattoo parlours, they aren’t exactly going after the same clientele. Big Mike’s is geared towards tourists and drunken dares. Their artists are good but they aren’t anywhere near as skilled as Zev, Shanks and Emmy.

I’m toying with a couple of ideas when Vada stops by. “Hey, stranger.”

“Hey,” I stand up to give her a hug.

She looks over my shoulder, “are you working on updating Dad’s website?”

“Yeah, I’m hoping if this goes well, I won’t have to worry about Emmy spitting in my coffee for at least a month.”

Vada laughs, “I know she comes across as a bit of a beeyotch sometimes but she’s really not that bad.”

Gah, one of the downfalls of everybody being related to everybody else in this town is that I sometimes forget that the person I’m talking to might be related by blood to the person I’m bitching about. I wouldn’t blame Vada for being upset – she might annoy the heck out of me but I’d knock somebody out if I heard them saying mean things about Sierra. “I’m sorry.”

She pats my shoulder, “It’s OK.”

“I don’t think she’s a beeyotch, I just wish there was some way I could get her to like me, that’s all. Ugh,” I put my head in my hands, “that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Vada pulls out the chair opposite me. “It’s actually not that difficult to get Emmy to warm up to you. Do you like dogs?”

I blink, “of course, what kind of idiot doesn’t like dogs?” As soon as I open my mouth, I hope I haven’t put my foot firmly in it again.

“If you’ve got some free time, you could always volunteer at the shelter. That would definitely get you in my sister’s good books.”

“I could literally kiss you,” I beam. It would be so much easier at the Ink if Emmy wasn’t constantly sniping at me plus if I’m going to be with Zev, I want his family to like me.

“I tell you what,” Vada smiles, “instead why don’t you tell me how I can get your handsome brother to agree to go on a date with me?”

I consider it for a moment, although on the surface they look like an unlikely couple, I actually think they’d be good together. Mats can be too serious sometimes and somebody free-spirited like Vada might force him to loosen up a little.

When I tell Zev my plan to get Emmy to warm up to me, he laughs, “you don’t have to do this for me, you know?”

I give him a playful shove, “you’ve got an ego the size of Texas, haven’t you? I don’t just want her to like me because she’s your cousin, I mean that’s part of it but we also work together, I want to do my bit to create a harmonious working environment at the Ink.”

Zev nearly falls off his chair laughing, “yeah, good luck with that, hot stuff.”

 

LOLA

 

I might technically be a grown-up but I’m also a big, old wuss when it comes to my parents so instead of fessing up to my mum that I’ve got a tattoo, I send her an e-mail instead and attach a photo of it so she can see how cute it is now that it’s started healing.

I don’t expect a reply straight away because of the time difference but a couple of minutes later just as I’m about to switch off my laptop, I get a Skype request from her.

“Hey, baby girl.” She’s in my dad’s office at home and I get another sharp pang of homesickness. She looks really happy to see me and I realise it’s been way too long since we last Skyped. I feel guilty because I’ve been so busy with the Ink and Zev.

I definitely have a different relationship with my mum than Mats and Sierra do because she was only eighteen when she got pregnant with me and so she always says that it’s like we grew up together. I respect her authority as my mum but she’s also one of my best friends.

“Hey,” I settle back against the pillows on my bed. “I didn’t think you’d be awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d come downstairs and catch up on some e-mails for 33 Rocks.” Mum and her friend, Abby run a charity to raise awareness of prenatal depression.

“You’re not mad that I got a tattoo then?”

Mum laughs, “you’ll always be my baby girl but I’m aware that you’re an adult now, Lola. It would be kind of hypocritical of me to get angry with you for getting a tattoo when both your dad and I have got them. I think it’s beautiful. If I didn’t think that getting matching mother-daughter tattoos was kind of tacky, I’d be tempted to have one myself. Did you get it done at the Ink?”

I told my parents (by e-mail again) that I’d got a job at the Ink. I’m not sure that receptionist at a tattoo parlour was exactly what they’d envisaged for me when I was a little girl but my accident changed things for all of us and I think they’re actually relieved that I’m starting to build a new life here in Oahu.

We talk more about the Ink and I tell her about my efforts to revamp the website. I also want to revise the booking system so it’s easier to keep track of what Zev, Emmy and Shanks have got coming up. I know they think that they are total badasses who can just push through any amount of tiredness or pain but tattooing is physically and mentally taxing and it can’t hurt to make sure that they have proper breaks between appointments. “Yeah, you’re definitely my daughter,” Mum chuckles because she’s well-known in our family for her excellent organisational skills.

“So Mats has got a date tomorrow night.” I grin when Mum looks just as shocked as I hoped she’d be.

“Mats, as in your brother, my only son, Mateo?”

“Yeah. Her name’s Vada Montgomery, her dad’s actually my boss at the Ink. She’s got blue hair and she makes the best coffee in Oahu.”

“But Mats doesn’t drink coffee,” Mum splutters.

“I know! They’re meeting here first. Do you want me to make a sneak attack and get her Social Security Number?”

Mum frowns, “what for?”

“You know so that Dad can do his whole crazy, overprotective parent thing?”

Mum still looks blankly at me so I roll my eyes, “come on, if Sierra or I even look at a boy, Dad’s putting in a call to that private investigator friend of his. Please don’t tell me that he’s not going to do the same for Mats just because he’s a boy and we’re girls?”

Mum’s silence tells me everything I need to know. “ugh, I can’t believe that you would let him get away with being so sexist. I’m sure you know everything there is to know about Zev and yet you’re not even going to Google Vada. She could be a serial killer, Mum? Don’t you care about Mats at all?”

Mum rolls her eyes at me, which just makes me more annoyed. “I think you’re overreacting a little bit, sweetheart. From what you’ve told me, Vada sounds like a lovely girl but if it makes you feel better, I’ll have your dad grills Mats all about her before his date tomorrow just like he did with you about Zev.”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t denied that Dad called his P.I. friend about Zev.”

“I’m waiting until we get the full report back,” Mum quips and I really hope that she’s joking.

 

LOLA

 

“Oh my goodness.” When I walk into one of the back rooms at the no-kill shelter, it’s like landing in doggy heaven except for the knowledge that all of these adorable dogs have either been abused or abandoned. I shake my head trying to clear the sad thoughts because I’m not here to pity them; I’m here because I want to do whatever I can to help.

They are already way too excited without me adding to it but at the back of the room, there’s a tan cocker spaniel that reminds me so much of Monty, my aunt Erin’s dog. Erin and my mum’s brother, Ben lived across the courtyard from us in Manchester from before I was born right up until we moved to Seattle when I was seven and so even though he wasn’t my dog, Monty was a constant presence in my life for all those years.

I feel so homesick all of a sudden because I desperately wish that there was somebody else here to agree with me that he does look exactly like Monty. Mats would have been too young to really remember Monty – he was only a toddler when he died – and everybody else that knew him is back in Seattle. I could snap a quick photo of him and send it to Erin but I know she still has a Monty-shaped hole in her heart and it would upset her too much to see almost an exact replica of her beloved dog at a place like this.

Sherry, one of the employees at the shelter, lets me into the pen and I kneel down at the side of Jericho, the cocker spaniel. He isn’t like the other dogs, who are all yapping and jumping around, desperate for attention. He looks so sad and downtrodden I want to give him a cuddle but I know that would probably make him anxious so instead I sit on the scratchy beige carpet and gently talk to him. He shifts a little and I can see he’s got a bright yellow bandage on his leg. It’s like he’s sharing a secret with me.

I play with the other dogs and chat to Sherry but I can feel Jericho watching me the whole time.

Zev had offered to pick me up but when I walk out to the parking lot, he’s on crutches and isn’t wearing his prosthetic. “What happened?”

“I’ve got a rash on my stump,” he winces, “so the doc says I can’t wear my prosthetic for a couple of days.”

“You didn’t have to come all the way down here. I could have got Mats to pick me up.”

“I know I didn’t have to but I wanted to, hot stuff besides I got you an even better driver than your brother,” he smirks.

“Ugh,” Emmy scowls, “you owe me big time for this, Zev.”

As I help him climb into Emmy’s car, he whispers in my ear, “am I a genius or what for getting her down here to witness you volunteering at her favourite shelter?”

I gawp at him, “are you only pretending that you’ve got a rash?”

“No, I’ve definitely got a rash in all it’s dry, itchy, pus-filled glory. I can show it to you if you don’t believe me?”

Emmy must have heard the last part of the conversation because she scoffs, “yeah, right. Like Little Miss Prissy Knickers would want to see that.”

“You’re wrong, Emmy. Little Miss Prissy Knickers would love to see your rash, Zev.”

“You’d better not upchuck all over my car.”

“Do you know what my favourite movie is?” I ask.

She looks puzzled by my change of subject. “It’s probably some sappy chick flick.”

“Nope, it’s The Godfather.’

“OK?”

“Do you remember the scene in The Godfather when the guy is getting a massage and he gets shot right in his glasses and his eye bleeds out? I love that scene.”

Emmy actually looks shocked.

“You think you’re so much tougher than me because you tattoo people all day but you go home at night to your fantasy world of ever-changing hair colours and cute little puppies.” I lift up my gammy leg. “I live with this ugliness every day of my life so don’t think that a harmless little rash is going to gross me out because it’s not. My hair might still be it’s natural colour and you might think I dress like a square but don’t ever make the mistake of thinking I’m this ditsy little princess with my head in the clouds because I’m not.”

I can feel Zev trying really hard not to laugh next to me, which isn’t exactly the reaction I was going for. I feel like one of the puppies in those YouTube videos, who’s convinced that they’ve just roared like a lion but really they’ve just squeaked like a startled guinea pig.

Zev’s wearing athletic shorts so he doesn’t have to pull his trousers down for me to see his stump, he can just roll up the hem. He peels back the bandage a little so I can see. It’s not as bad as I expected, it just looks red and sore.

“Are you going to be all right to work?” I ask as he covers it back up again.

“Yeah,” Zev explains. “I’ve rearranged my big pieces and just kept the ones I can do sitting down.”

“Will you let me know if you need anything?” I ask, squeezing his hand.

“Ugh, you two are so annoying,” Emmy mutters from the front seat.

“Don’t start with us, Emmy,” Zev chuckles, “or I’ll get Little Miss Prissy Knickers here to kick your ass.”

Emmy responds by cranking the radio way up so she can’t hear us anymore.

“How did it go at the shelter?” Zev whispers in my ear.

“It was amazing actually.” I tell him about Jericho and the other dogs.

When we get to my house, I ask Zev if he wants to come inside. Mats has already left for his date with Vada and although I’m disappointed that I missed what I’m sure was an epic freak-out from my brother, I’m kind of looking forward to spending some alone time with Zev.

I know he wants to take things slow so I try to make it clear that I’m not looking to jump his bones. “You could sleep on the couch. It’s got to be better than trying to struggle up the stairs to your apartment?”

“I don’t want your pity, hot stuff,” Zev says, “besides I’ll have you know that I’m a whizz at getting up and down stairs on only one leg.”

“I’m sure you are.” Chastened by his obvious brush-off, I smooth down my skirt and climb out of the back of Emmy’s car. Fortunately she’s switched the radio off so I’m not going to get any noise complaints from our neighbours. But it also means that my arch-nemesis can now hear every word of this super awkward conversation. Ugh, I want to pound the pavement with frustration, why out of all the nearly one million people in Oahu does it have to be Emmy that witnesses me getting rejected like this?

“Thanks again for the ride, Emmy,” I say through gritted teeth because I might not be a badass but I’ve got manners.

Emmy nods. She doesn’t need to say anything. She knows she’s won this round.

I trudge up the steps to the front porch, feeling the need for a pint of ice cream and a trashy TV marathon. As I fumble in my pockets for my keys, I curse my brother for like the gazillionth time for being such a zealous vegan. If we do have ice cream, it’s probably made from coconut milk or something equally healthy. I can’t even eat my feelings properly.

I hear my name being called and when I turn around, Zev is hobbling on his crutches up the lawn. He’s leaving divots all over the place which I know will annoy my brother but I don’t care, it’s his fault that we don’t have proper ice cream in our freezer.

“What’s up?” Emmy’s gone now but I still put on my badass persona. “Did you forget something?”

“I’m sorry,” he gulps. It looks like he finds it just as difficult to apologise as I do. “I was a jerk to you back there.”

I turn around to face him. “You have every right not to want to come inside with me, Zev. I just hated feeling like a fool in front of Emmy when five minutes previously I’d been trying to convince her that I’m a badass.”

“You are a badass.” It would be way more convincing if his lips weren’t twitching with amusement.

His arms look tired from using his crutches so I suggest we sit down on the porch steps.

“Do you want me to call you an Uber?”

“You can,” he puts his crutches to one side, “but my name’s actually Zev.”

“Oh my goodness,” I roll my eyes so much I’m sure they’re in danger of dislocating. “You’re such a goof.” It does make me laugh though.

“I like making you laugh,” Zev smiles, bumping shoulders with me.

“I don’t like having to rely on other people for help,” he admits. “When I’ve got my prosthetic on, I can walk up the stairs and drive my car, no problem. It’s almost like I’m normal again but then something like this stupid rash happens and it reminds me that I’m not. I hate it.”

“I can totally understand that,” I give his hand a squeeze. “If I’m in the house by myself, I can pretend that my accident never happened too because how often do you really look down and study your own leg? So I forget about it and when I have to go to the supermarket, I pull on a pair of cut-off shorts or something and at first when I get weird looks, I convince myself that they’re looking at me like that because I’m having a really good hair day but then a little kid points and stares directly at my gammy leg and I’m like, ugh, I’m such an idiot, what the heck was I thinking?”

“I don’t pity you, Zev. I couldn’t even if I wanted to because you’re one of the toughest guys I know and hello, you look like that.” He laughs which makes me feel really good. “I only said that about you staying here instead of going back to your apartment because I didn’t want you to think that I was coming on to you or something. I mean, I know you said before that you didn’t want to rush things…”

“You know I’ve never seen The Godfather?” Zev blurts out

“What?” My voice is so shrill I’m sure I’m going to be getting noise complaints after all. “How is that even possible?”

He chuckles, “I’m guessing you’ve got a copy?”

“Of course, it was the first thing I packed when I decided to move here even though Mats won’t watch it with me because he gets grossed out by the whole horse’s head in the bed thing.”

Zev raises an eyebrow, “horse’s head in the what now?”

“You’re going to love it,” I giggle, reaching out a hand to help him up off the steps.

I wake up when Mats gets home from his date with Vada and realise I must have fallen asleep on the couch with Zev. I’ve literally got the most comfortable bed in the whole entire world; my mattress is memory-foam and it’s got this perfect me-shaped dip in the centre which makes me feel like I’m being hugged all night long but it’s still not enough to tempt me to drag my behind up off the couch and away from Zev. I’ve got my head in his lap and who’d have thought that muscly thighs would make such a comfy pillow?

When I look up at Zev, he’s still asleep. At least I’m assuming so because although he’s got his eyes closed, he’s not making any noise. I’m not really used to being around somebody who’s so peaceful when they sleep. Mats doesn’t snore but he snuffles and he also likes to fling his arms and legs out like a starfish. I feel like there should be a constant ding-ding-ding noise because Zev is just scoring excellent potential boyfriend points all over the place. Firstly, he now loves The Godfather almost as much as I do, secondly, he’s got lovely thigh-pillows and most importantly, unlike my sister, he doesn’t snore at all. I’ve got to think that the women in Oahu are stupid because how has he not been snapped up by now?

“How did it go?” I mouth to Mats.

“Good,” he mouths back but I can tell he’s trying really hard not to smile so I know it went way better than good. Before I can press for more details, he’s heading up the stairs to bed so I lay my head back down on Zev’s comfy thigh pillows (I’m going to have to think of a better word for them because the more I say it, the creepier it sounds) and close my eyes.

 

ZEV

 

“Tell me about your first time?” Jane asks. She loves volunteering at the no-kill shelter so much that I’ve started coming with her if I’m not working. We’re walking several of the dogs including Jane’s favourite, Jericho.

My rash has completely gone now and they’ve changed the lining of my prosthetic so hopefully it shouldn’t flare up again. It feels so good to actually be able to walk again and not have to rely on my crutches and the kindness of friends and family to get anywhere.

“You really want to know about my first time?” I cough. We haven’t done anything apart from kissing and over the clothes touching so far.

“Yeah,” she reaches down and gently pats the top of Jericho’s head. “What’s wrong?” she asks when I don’t say anything, “was it that bad?”

My male pride kicks in, “it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great; I mean I’ve definitely got better with practice.”

She wrinkles her nose up at the thought of all that “practice” and I have to smile, “you asked, hot stuff.”

“Who was it with?” She suddenly stops. “Ew, was it somebody I know?”

“It was Sam,” I admit, “I told you we were childhood sweethearts. She was my first.”

“Wow,” Jane says but she’s too far ahead of me, I can’t tell what she’s thinking.

“How old were you?”

I tug at my lip ring, trying to remember, “I was fifteen, she was a couple of months older than me so she would have been sixteen. It was in the very romantic setting of the back of her parents’ Suburban while we were supposed to be babysitting her baby brother.”

Jane nods and then turns her attention back to the dogs. “Hey,” I say as she kneels down to pick up after one of them, “you’re not getting away that easily. I’ve told you mine, I want to know about yours.”

“Not happening,” she smiles.

“Jane, we’re together, you kind of have to tell me.” We haven’t had the exclusivity talk yet but I’m sure as hell not seeing anybody else and I don’t think she is either.

“That’s not what Cosmo says,” she insists. “I only really have to tell you if I have an STD or not and I don’t so…”

I roll my eyes, “you’re being annoying.”

“I know,” she smiles, “my sister says I’m excellent at it.”

“Was it bad?” I tease, throwing her words back at her.

“Nope.”

“I bet it was something super sappy like on the beach at sunset surrounded by flickering candles.”

Jane huffs, “even I know nothing good ever comes of trying to have sex on the beach.”

I know she doesn’t have a lot of experience but surely she doesn’t mean that she’s… “Jane?”

She turns her back to me and we’re almost back at the shelter so she doesn’t have to talk to me while we get the dogs settled back inside.

 

LOLA

 

I don’t know what made me start this incredibly stupid conversation. My mum always said that my natural curiosity was going to get me into trouble one day, turns out today’s the day. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to know more about your partner’s previous sexual experiences if you’re planning on bumping uglies with them at some point in the future. I actually think that it’s the responsible thing to do. I just wish I had a better answer to Zev’s question, that’s all. I guess I could always make something up but since Zev’s still calling me Jane, I think there are already too many untruths surrounding our relationship.

I stomp across the parking lot to where Zev’s car is parked, wondering if I can get away with the quickest ever onset of an ear infection which has rendered me completely deaf just for the duration of the car journey home.

I can’t make up a good devirginizing story but I bet I’d be amazing at faking an ear infection.

“Jane,” Zev sighs when he eventually joins me in the car.

“What’s up?” I’m so busy trying to be all cool and nonchalant that I forget that I was supposed to be pretending to have an ear infection, darn it.

“You know what’s up?”

“Buttercup?” I suggest, thankful for my eclectic musical tastes.

Zev rolls his eyes at me.

I detour into cartoons, “Doc?” I try to be cute and pretend to be Bugs Bunny.

“Jane, you can be honest with me, OK? I won’t judge you.”

Huh, the implication that he could have something to pass judgment on annoys the heck out of me. “The fact that I’m a virgin just means that I have exceptionally high standards and it does not give you the right to…” I’m cut off from protesting further by Zev kissing me.

“What was that for?” I ask. I’m a little breathless when he finally pulls back.

“Telling me the truth.”

“You kissed me like that because I told you I’m a virgin? What would you have done if I’d told you I’d slept with hundreds of men?”

“I’d have kissed you just the same but I’d perhaps have brushed my teeth afterwards.”

“Hey,” I give his shoulder a shove, “don’t be a slut-shamer. If I had actually slept with hundreds of men, it wouldn’t have made me any lesser of a person, you know?”

“Of course not,” Zev’s lips are twitching, “just very productive.”

“OK,” I turn to face him, “how many women have you slept with then? I want an exact number.”

“I thought Cosmo said I didn’t have to tell you anything apart from whether I’ve got an STD or not?”

“Don’t turn my words against me, mister,” I prod him in the chest.

“I’ve slept with six women,” Zev admits, “and I haven’t nor have I ever had an STD.”

“Six,” I look at him aghast. He’s gorgeous, why has he denied all but six of the luckiest women on the planet from being up close and personal with all that hotness?

“Don’t reverse slut-shame me, hot stuff. I told you I was with Sam for a long time and I’m not a cheater.”

“I’m not shaming you,” I quickly check my jaw to make sure it hasn’t dropped to my chest, “I’m just shocked, that’s all. If I looked like you, I’d be whoring myself all over town.”

We’re stopped at traffic lights so Zev leans over and kisses the tip of my nose, “no, you wouldn’t but it’s good to know that you think I’m sexy.”

When we get back to my place, I ask Zev if he wants to stay over again. “It’s not an invitation to bump and grind by the way,” I say over my shoulder as I unlock the front door.

“I know,” Zev surprises me by planting sweet kisses on my shoulder. “We’re not there yet and that’s OK.”

After we’ve both showered separately – ugh is there anything more torturous than knowing that you’re hotter than hell maybe-boyfriend is just on the other side of the bathroom door naked and soapy? We get changed into more comfortable clothes. Zev has been spending a lot of time at my place so he’s started keeping an overnight bag in the trunk of his car, I make us one of the least disgusting vegan meals I know and we watch trashy TV until we’re both tired.

“I think Emmy’s warming up to me,” I muse as we climb into my bed.

“She definitely liked your ideas for the website,” Zev agrees.

“I’m trying to get Mats to come see Jericho with me,” I admit. “He doesn’t think it’s fair to adopt a dog when we don’t know how long we’re going to be here but he’s going into his second year of a four year course and then he’ll probably go on to post-grad. He’s got perpetual student written all over him, that boy.”

“What about you?” Zev turns to face me. “You thinking about staying here long-term?”

“I’m starting to like it here,” I chuckle, “I’ve got a job, Vada makes great coffee and I can just tell that at the rate we’re going now, Emmy and I are going to be besties in no time at all. We’ll soon be swapping clothes and painting each other’s nails.”

“What about me, huh?” Annoyingly, he’s quickly found out where I’m the most ticklish. It makes it difficult to win any kind of argument when your weak spot is right there just below your ribs.

“You’re not bad,” I squeal, squirming underneath his wicked fingers.

“Aren’t you worried about waking Mats up?” Zev asks. The walls are paper thin in this house.

I look over at the clock, “I can’t believe he’s still not back from his date with Vada yet? Do you think I should be worried?”

“What makes you think it isn’t going well? From what Maggie said, they seemed to have a good time together the other night.”

“Hello, have you met my brother? He’s got even less experience with the opposite sex than I have and as you now know, that’s saying something. The other night might have just been a fluke.”

“He’ll be safe with the Smurf.”

 

“So this is weird, right?” I ask Mats when he stumbles downstairs the next morning. “Me having a boy in my bed, you having a girl.” I heard him and Vada whispering and giggling when they came home in the early hours this morning – like I said before, the walls of this house are super thin.

Mats groans, “can we please not talk about this?”

“Not talk about what?” Zev asks as he walks into the kitchen. He lifts up his t-shirt to scratch at his abdomen and I almost swallow my tongue.

“It seems we weren’t the only ones who had a little sleepover last night,” I gesture towards my brother who looks as if he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. “Vada stayed over.”

Zev’s face quickly resembles Mats’. “It’s way too early for me to hear about you and my cousin hooking up.”

Mats raises his eyes to the heavens, “for goodness sake, we didn’t hook up. It was late when we got back and so she slept over, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“If you say so,” I hum, enjoying Mats’ discomfort way more than I should do.

“Yikes,” Vada says as she comes into the kitchen, trying to tame her wild blue hair into a more manageable ponytail. “Why are you two in such a grump this morning? Zev, what did you say to him? Mats definitely wasn’t like this when he first woke up.

The reminder that Vada was there when he first woke up because she and Mats spent the night snuggled up in his bed makes me chuckle, Zev wince and Mats plead to the heavens for mercy.

“If it’s my virtue you’re worried about,” she smirks, helping herself to some orange juice. “You don’t have to worry about that, Max Tyler helped me get rid of it when I was sixteen.”

Zev actually looks like he’s two seconds away from vomiting so I quickly guide him outside on to the front porch. I’m hoping against hope that I was right and a good lungful of ocean air can fix anything. “I really need to get my own place,” he grumbles as he sits down on the wooden bench.

“Yeah, about that…” I sit down next to him, “aren’t you a bit old to still be living like a frat boy?”

He raises an eyebrow at me and that sickly, green colour slowly leeches out of his tanned skin. “Just how old do you think I am, hot stuff?”

I tap my finger on my chin, “thirty five?”

He splutters, “you seriously think that I’m thirty-five?”

“You’re right, that was too generous. I think you’re probably nearer forty.”

He hauls me up on to his lap and before I know it his fingers have found that darn ticklish spot just below my ribs. “You want to try again?”

“Thirty-one?”

I must be wrong because that only makes him tickle harder.

“Thirty?”

I really need to get it right soon because otherwise I’m either going to pee myself or pass out.

“Twenty-nine?”

Darn, my bladder is feeling really heavy.

“Twenty-eight?” I yelp, squeezing my thighs together with everything I’ve got. It’s my Hail Mary pass and thank goodness it works. As soon as Zev lets me go, I scurry inside to use the bathroom.

When I come back, I’m feeling a lot more comfortable and Zev has almost finished his breakfast. “You’re still several years older than me though,” I can’t resist another little tease.

 

LOLA

 

“So…” Thursdays have quickly become my new favourite day of the week because it’s just me and Zev on the late shift.

After Zev popped my tattoo cherry with the Manchester bee on my claw, I asked him for a lotus flower on the back of my neck and I’ve quickly become addicted. That one was a gazillion times more painful but I don’t regret it. I’ve tried to figure out what’s so addictive about getting tattoos but I just love everything about the experience. It’s always after hours so there’s an element of being naughty and sneaking around behind people’s backs – not that Rusty would care. I love the chill of Zev’s chair against my skin, the flickering of the light above my head and the faded water stain on the ceiling that looks like the outline of Chile. I tell myself that I love knowing that I’m going to have these gorgeous pieces of art with me forever but if I’m being brutally honest, I think what I love the most is that for however long the tattoo takes to complete, I have Zev’s full, unwavering attention – his gorgeous blue-green eyes and his talented hands on my body.

After he’s finished with his last client of the day, I see them out and then flick the sign on the front door to ‘Closed’. Zev’s still finishing tidying up his equipment so I walk back to the desk. When he comes in, I’m swivelling back and forth on my stool. He raises an eyebrow at the slight squeak of the stool and I blush. I still get embarrassed even though he always seems to know when I’ve got a craving for more ink.

“I saw something and I was wondering…”

I can’t look at him. I’ve slipped a bookmark between the pages of the leather-bound portfolio. This is going to be my most daring tattoo yet.

Zev slides the portfolio across the desk and flicks it open. He studies the photograph for a minute and then looks back up at me. “You’re sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” I hate how breathy my voice sounds. “It’s so beautiful.”

“I know it is but it’s very different from what we’ve done so far.”

“I know,” I put my hand over his. I want him to feel the strength of my conviction.

After he turns off the lights in the front of the shop, I follow Zev into his room at the back. I curl up on his chair while he sketches out a design for me.

When I’m completely happy with what he’s sketched then comes the most awkward part of the evening. I’m not getting a tattoo on my arms or legs or even my back, I’m getting it between my boobs and the only way that Zev can do it is for me to take my top off. I’ve never actually shown anybody my boobs before but I’m determined that I want this tattoo. I quickly whip off my t-shirt so I don’t chicken out and then the only thing concealing my small boobs from Zev’s scorching hot gaze is my white lace bra.

He gulps and even though he’s probably seen countless naked women before, I can tell he’s affected.

I’m five seconds away from being a big old wuss so I quickly turn my back on Zev and remove my bra. I toss it on the counter and it looks so wanton, I have to stifle a giggle. I’m not ready to show Zev everything so I cover my nips with my hands before I turn back around.

With my hands still firmly covering my boobage, Zev helps me recline on the chair. Sheesh, with me being topless the chair feels ice-cold against my back and I let out an embarrassing little squeak.

When he’s got his equipment ready, Zev asks me one more time, “you’re sure you want this, Jane?”

“I’m certain.”

It’s definitely not the most comfortable tattoo experience I’ve ever had. My boobs might be small but so that Zev has enough room to work, I have to tug them to the side and squash them down. My nipples pop out in protest at being smushed against my palms and having a sharp needle scratch so close to them.

After he’s finished, I have to give the girls a jiggle to get them to feel normal again. “What are you doing?” Zev smirks as he watches me wriggle about on his chair.

“I think my nipples have gone numb.”

He raises an eyebrow and another shiver ripples through me. It’s criminal for somebody to be so good-looking, it really is. “Do you want me to help bring them back to life?”

Yep, just a few words from Zev and they’re fully functioning again. It’s like all of the blood has suddenly rushed back into them and they feel all hot and tingly. They butt against the palms of my hands as if to say “get out of the way, there’s a hot man there who wants to resuscitate us!”

They might be ready to throw themselves into Zev’s big hands but I’m not.

“I think I can manage.” Darn, why does my voice have to splinter on that last word?

“Have you ever thought about having any more piercings?” Zev asks. There’s no way on earth I’m putting my bra back on so he hands me my t-shirt.

I had my ears pierced when I was seven but that’s it.

Once my t-shirt is back on, I can let go of my boobs and I’m sure they sag with disappointment that they won’t be getting up and close personal with Zev just yet.

I hadn’t really thought through the whole getting a tattoo between my boobs thing when I was getting dressed this morning and so I wore an olive green t-shirt to work today. As if to punish me for denying them Zev, my nipples decide to do their darndest to poke through my t-shirt. Zev can’t help but notice.

He reaches up and lightly strokes the side of my breast and gah, why can’t I stop shivering? I live in Oahu not freaking Siberia. His gentle touches definitely aren’t helping the whole visible nipple thing.

I start to stand up and am smacked in the face by the tattoo comedown. I quickly give up on the idea and sit back down on the chair. It isn’t the comfiest place in the world but since getting up means seeing baby birds whizzing around the top of my head, I’m definitely OK with spending the night on Zev’s chair.

“You’re such a lightweight,” he chuckles before I can lie back down. He slips one of those lovely strong forearms under my thighs and lifts me up. “Ow,” I whimper as my boobs knock together in a really undignified fashion.

Zev carries me along the hallway and up a flight of stairs I’ve never seen before. “Where are you talking me?” I ask drowsily.

“Shush.”

He places me down on the bed and I swear the tattoo ink he used must have been spiked with tequila because I feel crazy drunk. It’s the only possibly reason for the words that come out of my mouth next. “Are we going to have sex now?”

Zev rolls his eyes and mutters something that sounds like “give me strength.”

“Turn over,” he nudges. I roll over on to my side, ignoring my aching boobs.

I feel him curl up behind me and I wait for him to make a move. We’ve been kissing for weeks now. He rubs circles on my hip, over the top of my black denim skirt unfortunately.

“You didn’t answer my question,” I try to turn over but his grip on my hip keeps me still.

“What question was that, hot stuff?” his breath tickles the back of my neck.

“I asked if we’re going to have sex?”

He chuckles, more warm puffs of air against my neck and shoulder, “not tonight.”

“That sucks. But we’re going to eventually though, right?” I ask. I’m nowhere near as bad as my sister but I’m definitely not the most patient person in the world. “Because I really want to.”

“Is that so?” Another chuckle.

I’m tired but I’m also kind of fussy about cleanliness so before I can fall asleep, I ask Zev one more question. “Whose apartment is this?”

“It’s Rusty’s or at least it was before he moved in with Darla.”

I try and sit up because as much as I like my boss, “I’m totally not sleeping in Rusty’s bed, ew!”

Zev laughs and tugs me back down on the mattress. My boobs knock together again and I wince. Usually they’re so small that if I’m feeling brave or more likely, I’ve run out of clean underwear I can go without a bra but now after having a tattoo between them, it feels like every time I move I’ve got two sumo wrestlers fighting for dominance on my chest.

“He still owns it but Rusty hasn’t slept here for over a year. He gave me a key because I crash here sometimes if I’ve been working late or Danny’s got his girlfriend over at our apartment. Shanks and Emmy don’t use it because they don’t have roommates.”

 

When I wake up again a few hours later, it’s barely sunrise but it’s already hot and sticky in the small apartment. I wriggle out of Zev’s embrace and stumble across the bedroom to open the window. My denim skirt is all twisted on my hips and it feels so weighty that I can’t wear it anymore so I shimmy it down my hips, regretting it immediately as I feel my achy boobs protest against the accompanying jiggle.

“Wow, that feels good,” I close my eyes and savour the breeze which whips around my bare legs.

Zev yawns and stretches his arms above his head, “now that is a sight for sore eyes.”

I blush because although we’ve already slept together in the truest sense of the word, he hasn’t seen me in just my undies before.

I whack him with a pillow because it’s the only way I can think of to get him to stop looking at my legs.

“It’s not my fault that you’ve got sexy legs,” he smirks as his eyes finally meet mine.

I flop down on the bed next to him. He must have got up while I was asleep and changed out of his jeans into a pair of black basketball shorts. He was so blatant in his ogling of me just now, it’s kind of my responsibility as a believer in equal rights to take my sweet time appreciating his fine male form. It’s a tough job but somebody’s got to do it, right?

Zev’s body is so much more interesting than mine. I’ve seen his stump twice before. The first time was at the beach but he was in his boxers and we’d literally only just met so I was working hard to keep my eyes north of his belly button. The second time was when he had a rash and Emmy thought it would gross me out to see what was lurking under his bandage.

The early morning sunshine lights it perfectly and there’s just something so manly about it. It’s a reminder that he survived the accident that caused him to lose his leg. It’s a gazillion times more beautiful than my poor, withered leg. I gently touch his stump and when I look up, Zev’s watching me intently. How can a man who’s so freaking strong have such vulnerability in his eyes?

I lean forward and gently press my lips against the edge. His skin is so warm and the soft hairs on his thigh tickle my nose. I want him to know that I like the whole him, not in spite of his disability.

“How many tattoos have you got?” I ask.

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I guess I must have stopped counting somewhere along the line.”

“I wonder if I’ll ever be like that.” My tattoos are still so new and precious that I can’t imagine there ever being a time where I won’t remember each and every one of them distinctly.

“Which one was your first?” I trace my fingers over the black, tribal tattoo which spans his right shoulder.

“It’s on my back,” Zev sits up and tugs his t-shirt up and over his head. He turns so I can see the majestic angel wings which spread across his upper back. “I got them for Toots.” I must look confused because he explains, “Toots was my grandma. My parents aren’t poor but they aren’t rich either. My dad’s a mechanic and my mom’s a kindergarten teacher. It was Toots that gave me the money to go to L.A. but unfortunately she passed away a couple of months after I left. I didn’t get to say goodbye and so when I got my first tattoo, I dedicated it to her.”

I can tell just how important she was to him from the slight husk to his voice when he talks about her. I press my lips to the back of his neck. “She sounds like a very special lady. I wish I could have met her.”

He tells me about his other tattoos and I love it because there’s a story behind each of them which reveals more about Zev, this guy that’s becoming more and more important to me.

“OK,” I giggle, looking at the tattoo beneath his ribs of a baby elephant with its trunk wrapped around a daisy. “What was the thinking behind this one?”

Zev groans, “I had a wager with a buddy of mine on the Lakers vs Celtics and as you can see, I lost.”

“It’s adorable,” I tease. “Tough guy Zev and his little, bitty elephant.”

“Hey,” he grabs me by my non-gammy ankle and I slide on my back down the mattress. “You’ve had your fun, hot stuff. It’s my turn.”

“There’s nothing for you to explore,” I remind him, “you’ve given me every single drop of ink on my body.”

“I disagree,” he smiles, lifting up Tony. He traces his fingers over the end of my foot where my toes used to be. I can’t even remember the last person who touched me there. It was probably the surgeon at my last check-up.

He kisses me five times, one for each of the toes that should be there. He continues moving up my mangled calf, tracing the bumps and dips of my skin first with the tips of his fingers and then with the warmth of his lips. It’s like he’s giving me the same gift I gave him earlier. He’s embracing my gammy leg and Tony instead of being repulsed by them.

He pulls me up to sitting again so he can see the lotus flower inked on the back of my neck. I shiver as he lifts my hair up and wraps it around his wrist. “It’s healed really well.”

“Mm, the guy who did it has crazy skills with a needle.”

He lays me back down on the bed again and I shouldn’t but I really like it when he takes control of me. His hands curve possessively around my hips and his lips brush against mine. His lip ring snags against my flesh and it makes me shiver all over.

“You really like that, don’t you?”

I growl because I don’t like the fact that my feelings are so obvious to him. A girl’s got to have some mystery about her.

“When did you get your lip pierced? Was that in L.A. too?”

Zev shakes his head, “I actually had it done here in Oahu before I left.”

“Can you do piercings?”

“I can do the basics but Emmy’s the specialist here at the Ink.”

“Why does it not surprise me that Emmy’s the queen of causing people pain?”

Zev laughs and his abs ripple against my belly. “Why did you ask? Are you thinking about getting something done?”

I twirl my finger around his silver nipple ring. “I might be,” I say coyly.

He looks me up and down, “I’m not letting you get your belly button pierced.”

I raise my eyebrows, “you’re not going to let me, huh? That’s funny because I don’t remember giving you control over my body, Zev.”

“Is that what you want? To get your belly button pierced?”

“What’s the big deal?”

“It’s nothing,” Zev turns his back on me and reaches for his prosthetic.

“It’s not nothing,” I demand. “Tell me why the thought of me having my belly button pierced upsets you so much?”

Zev turns around and puts his hand reverently on my tummy over the top of my t-shirt. “I will give you whatever tattoos and piercings you want, wherever you want them but I want to keep this part of you pure, OK?” he says gruffly.

I still don’t get it. “Why is my tummy any different than the rest of my body?”

“Because if we have babies together, that’s where they’ll grow.”

“Babies?” I splutter.

I’m gobsmacked because we haven’t even seen each other without our clothes on yet and Zev’s already thinking about having babies with me?

I might be a contender for the title of the world’s oldest virgin but even I’m not naïve enough to think that you have to get completely starkers to make a baby, you just have to take out the relevant bits and pieces.

I’m the daughter of somebody who didn’t realise until the pregnancy test came back positive that she’d had unprotected sex and the fact that I know this is just one of the many reasons why if one or both of your parents is even slightly famous, you should never ever Google them because like me, you might just find an old tabloid news story which details the circumstances surrounding your conception and yeah, nobody needs that much detail about their parents. I’m just thankful that I’ve been able to bleach the majority of it from my memory so I can actually look at them without cringing but it also means that although I’m sure it was just as uncomfortable for my mum as it was for me, it was incredibly important that she gave me the birds and bees talk.

I’m also the queen of going off on a tangent.

“I didn’t know you wanted kids?”

Zev huffs and I can tell I’ve offended him. “Don’t judge me based on my ink, Jane. I’ve got a big family and they’re everything to me. Of course I’d like to have one of my own someday. I’m not talking about tomorrow or even in the next couple of years but in the future, yeah I want to have kids.”

“I’m sorry,” I scoot across the mattress towards him. “I wasn’t judging you, I swear. I was just surprised because we’re still getting to know each other. We haven’t talked about this kind of stuff before.”

He’s still in a grump and I’m still scraping my jaw up off the floor so I figure I’ll give him some space. I grab my denim skirt and tug it up my legs. My boobs still ache like crazy so hell will likely freeze over before I even think about putting my bra back on.

It’s my day off from the Ink so after I’ve gone home, checked in with Mats and changed into boob-friendly clothes, I think more about what Zev said. My mum was eighteen when she got pregnant with me and although she insists that she doesn’t regret having me for a single second, I know she wouldn’t necessarily recommend being such a young mum. It’s crazy to think that when she was my age, she had a daughter who’d just started primary school.

I lift my t-shirt up and look at my belly. I’ve lost the six-pack I used to have from playing football all the time but thanks to Mats’ veganism, my stomach is still flat. What would it be like to carry a child, Zev’s child, in there?

I’ve spent so much time thinking about the past, about what I lost in the accident, that I haven’t really thought too much about my future. I’m nowhere near ready for it now but the idea of Zev and I still being together in a couple of years and having a family definitely makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I could actually build a life here in Oahu that wouldn’t feel like second best compared to the life I was supposed to have before the accident.

Zev hasn’t texted me at all and I don’t know if he thinks he’s scared me off after talking about our future children or if he’s still grumpy that I was so shocked. Whichever it is, I know I don’t like it.

I catch an Uber over to his apartment. I don’t want to bother Maggie or his roommate, Danny so I sit on the steps in front of his building and wait for him to come home.

 

ZEV

 

I don’t know why I’m in such a grump with Jane probably because I’m a cave-dwelling Neanderthal but I really don’t like the idea that she sees what’s happening between us as a short-term fling.

I stop by her place on my way back from the Ink but there’s no answer when I knock at the front door and the lights are all out so I head home.

It’s getting dark when I pull up in the parking lot in front of my apartment building.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Vada chuckles. She’s sat on a rickety lawn chair on the grass in front of the building, knitting what has to be the world’s ugliest scarf.

I look around but I can’t see anybody else and then I follow Vada’s gaze to the cute little lump on the front steps of the building. Jane’s curled up in a ball with her black cardigan wrapped around her. I’m torn between being angry because although our small town is reasonably safe, she looks so vulnerable curled up asleep on my front steps and relieved that I didn’t scare her off with all my crazy talk about babies this morning.

“Thanks for watching out for her,” I say to Vada

“No problem.” She gets up off the lawn chair and goes inside.

I lift the curled up bundle of Jane up off the steps. She doesn’t even stir as I carry her inside the building and upstairs to mine and Danny’s apartment. Fortunately he isn’t home so I take Jane straight through to my bedroom.

“Hey,” she says sleepily, waking up as I put her down on the bed.

“Hey, hot stuff.”

She gives me a sweet, lopsided smile when I call her that.

“What were you doing sleeping on my steps?”

“I missed you,” she admits.

“I missed you too,” I brace myself with my hands on the mattress at the sides of her head and brush my lips against hers. Kissing Jane always makes me feel better. “I thought I’d scared you off with my whole Tarzan routine this morning.”

“Ha,” she chuckles. Her voice is still husky from having just woken up. “I’m a badass remember, it would take way more than that to scare me off. Besides, my dad is one of the biggest Neanderthals you could ever meet. He married my mum when she was only eighteen and even though as their daughter, it kind of makes me want to upchuck, he totally worships the ground she walks on.”

“It sounds like you miss them a lot.”

“Every day,” she gulps.

It’s dark in my bedroom with just a single lamp on my bedside table but when Jane looks up at me, there’s so much honesty shining in her dark eyes. “I don’t think about the future,” she traces her finger along my jawline, softening her harsh words. “At least I didn’t used to because it was just blank space. It reminded me of everything I lost on that street in Miami.”

“Jane,” I sigh. I wish that I could give her back her toes and the muscle in her right calf, her dream of playing football again.

“I don’t want to think like that anymore,” she hugs me fiercely. “I want to see where this goes with us, Zev.”

I hug her back, “I don’t want to be just a fling for you, Jane.”

“You’re not, I promise,” she insists.

“I was never intending to get my belly button pierced, you know?” Jane says.

I remove my prosthetic and climb into bed with her, “OK?”

“I was messing about on YouTube and I saw something… Could you pass me my phone?” She shows me the clip and I wince as I watch a young woman get her hips pierced.

“Do you think you could do that?” she asks excitedly.

“That’s really what you want?” It’s my turn to gulp now. I think I’ve created a monster.

“Yes.”

I can’t believe I’m even considering this but like Jane said this morning, it’s her body not mine. As she scrolls through photos on Pinterest, I’ve got to admit that dermals would look crazy sexy on Jane’s soft skin.

“I was originally thinking about having these done,” she points down at her boobs. She isn’t wearing a bra. “But they’re still complaining about the tattoo so I think the girls might need some extra time to recover before I broach the subject of stabbing them with a needle again.”

“I know Emmy’s done dermals before…” Jane’s wide eyes immediately make me bust out laughing. As if I’d let my cousin brandish a sharp implement anywhere near my girl.

“Don’t even joke about that,” she waggles her finger at me. I playfully bite the tip.

“Ouch,” she yelps.

“Hot stuff, you’re going to need to toughen up if you’re thinking of getting your hips pierced.”

She scowls at me, “I’m plenty tough enough, I’m a badass, remember? Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. Do you think you could do it?”

“I’ve never done dermals before but I think I could. I’m not going to take any chances with you though so I’ll talk to Emmy first and if necessary, I’ll ask her to supervise.”

 

LOLA

 

Unfortunately Vada doesn’t sell ‘Happy Dermals Day’ cakes at the coffee shop so I have to settle for banana muffins instead. I’m a crazy mix of nerves and excitement. I think I’d feel more relaxed if it was just going to be me and Zev but unfortunately he’s insisting that Emmy’s there to supervise because he doesn’t want to scar me for life. I bust out laughing when he told me that because I trust him implicitly but even if something did go wrong, what’s one more scar to add to the ugly maelstrom on my right calf?

The Ink is busy which is awesome as the clock ticks down to dermals-time. Even though I haven’t had any coffee this morning (something which pains me greatly), I’m still hella jumpy.

During my break, I walk around to the back of the Ink and lean against the brick wall next to the dumpsters. It stinks but at least it’s private here. I’ve read enough about the procedure to know that it will make it more difficult for Zev and really painful for me if I don’t chill the heck out. My skin has got this weird sheen on it which is going to make it really obvious to Emmy that I’m the big, old wuss that she always suspected.

My phone, which is stashed in the back pocket of my white shorts, makes me jump

“Hello?”

“Is everything OK, Lola? You sound weird.”

Everything’s peachy, I’m just about five minutes away from becoming a human hole punch. I don’t tell my aunt Ruby any of that though because if I did, within five seconds of ending the call, I’d have like a gazillion texts and e-mails from freaked out family members. I much prefer the thought that when I see them next, I’ll present them with my tattoos and piercings as a done deal.

“It must be the line,” I lie like a champ. “I’m really good. How’s everything with you and DJ?”

“Ugh, don’t ask,” Ruby sighs. I love my aunt but she’s kind of a drama queen. “Dad was discharged from the hospital yesterday and he’s already so demanding that I have to keep reminding myself that it would be bad to push your father’s wheelchair into Calder Harbour.”

It’s still weird hearing her talking about my biological grandfather. He ditched my Granny Reen while she was pregnant with my mum and neither my mum nor her siblings saw him again for twentysomething years. I’ve only met him a couple of times in my life and they weren’t exactly the most pleasant of experiences - I’d put them on a pair with getting a root canal without any anaesthetic. My mum, Remy, Ben and Liv refer to him as the ‘Sperm Donor’ but that’s a little too graphic for me so I’ll stick with biological grandfather.

At least Ruby’s struggles with the BG are enough to distract me from my upcoming appointment with a really thick needle.

When I get back, Shanks is covering the front desk and Zev and Emmy are waiting for me by the door to Zev’s room. “You can still back out, you know?” Emmy smirks as I walk across to them and try to hide that my knees are knocking together.

“That’s not going to happen,” I insist.

I walk past them into Zev’s room and lie back on the chair. While Emmy and Zev are preparing the equipment, I undo the first couple of buttons on my shorts and wiggle them down my hips until I can see the waistband of my hot-pink underwear. I’m not usually a hot-pink kind of a girl but I figure that you’ve got to wear super cute undies if you’re going to get dermals.

Zev smirks when he sees my choice of undies but then he puts his game-face on and concentrates on sterilising my skin using surgical scrub. He marks where he’s going to pierce with a pen and checks with Emmy that it’s in the right place.

When she nods, Zev stretches out the skin on my hip and even though he’s wearing latex gloves, I can still feel that it’s him touching me. I look up at my favourite water stain on the ceiling and give it a wink. I’ve got this.

 

ZEV

 

I’ve done piercings before so I can do it but I’m not a huge fan. It doesn’t feel right to be using a dermal punch to remove skin and tissue from my girl’s hip. When I’m giving her a tattoo, painting my art onto her soft skin, it’s intimate and beautiful but this just feels cold and clinical. It’s what Jane wants though and there isn’t a chance in hell that I’m going to let anybody else put their hands on her skin.

I look over at Emmy and I can tell that she’s kind of disappointed that Jane hasn’t shed a tear yet. I think she’s got it in for Jane because she’s not from Oahu. My cousin never talks about it but a couple of years ago she dated a British exchange student. She developed real feelings for him and she was devastated when he broke it off just before he returned to London at the end of the semester. It was only ever a holiday fling for him and I think she’s worried the same thing might happen with Jane and me. Jane is building a life for herself in Oahu but her roots here are never going to be as deep as mine or Emmy’s.

I use forceps to place the plate and anchor into the tiny pouch I’ve created with the punch on Jane’s hip and then screw the jewellery into the plate. Emmy checks what I’ve done to make sure the piercing is at the right depth. If it’s too deep, the skin layers could pull together resulting in embedding but if it’s too shallow, the piercing could migrate or get rejected by her body as a foreign object. When she’s satisfied, I move on to the next one.

Jane’s opted for four dermals, two on each hip but after the third I can tell she’s close to the limit of how much pain and discomfort her body can take. She keeps holding her breath so I can see the outline of her ribs. I also know how stubborn she is. She’ll be determined to get this fourth and final dermal over and done with so I ask Emmy to leave the room for a minute to give us a little bit of privacy. I lean over the chair, careful not to touch Jane with my sterile gloves and I brush my lips against hers. The snag of my lip ring against her bottom lip relaxes her just like I’d hoped and when she opens her eyes again, she’s smiling.

“You’re not going to leave me wonky, are you?”

“I’m going to give you the last one but only when you’re ready, hot stuff.”

“Thanks,” she takes a deep breath out. “When this is over, I’m going to write a really snotty e-mail to all those people who lied and said that they barely felt a thing when they had theirs done.”

She quickly looks around the room which is empty apart from her and me. “Please don’t tell Emmy I just said that.”

“I won’t, I swear. Are you ready to go again?”

“Nope but I’m a badass, remember?”

I chuckle as I let Emmy know she can come back in. “How are you feeling?” Emmy asks Jane.

“I’m fine,” Jane winks at me, “it’s nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.”

After I’ve finished, the skin around her dermals is dark-pink. I’m so proud of her that I want nothing more than to just haul her on to my lap and kiss the absolute heck out of her but I have to be Zev the Professional for at least a couple more minutes and go through the aftercare instructions with her.

“How are you doing, Jane?” Rusty asks when we walk back into the front of the shop. He’s taken over from Shanks at the front desk.

“Great,” Jane nods her head enthusiastically.

As soon as Emmy’s busy with a client, Jane slumps forward onto the desk. “Ugh, I feel like hell. Who thought it would be a good idea to be a human hole punch?”

“You,” I tease, rubbing the back of her neck. “You want me to get you a couple of painkillers, hot stuff?”

She looks me up at me from her prone position on the desk, “I want to scoff them like candy.”

 

ZEV

 

“Since we’ve established that neither of us sleep anywhere near as well without the other one and we can’t keep crashing at Rusty’s old apartment, I think we need to get rid of all the weirdness between you, me, Mats and Vada.”

“OK,” I don’t need to hear more to know that this is a monumentally bad idea.

Jane continues oblivious, “I was thinking that the four of us could go out tomorrow night, get to know each other somewhere else apart from our kitchen when we’ve all just woken up. It could be fun.”

I blink really fast. “Fun?” It could be a lot of things but fun definitely isn’t one of them.

I can see Shanks laughing his ass off behind Jane’s back.

“Hey,” Jane swats my arm, “I know Mats comes across as super nerdy but he’s actually really great when you get to know him.” Her brother might be great but he’s also almost ten years younger than me.

“You seriously want to go on a double date with Mats and the Smurf?”

“Yes,” Jane says decisively. “I think it’ll be good for all of us. Mats and I haven’t done anything touristy so far. I’ll stop by the coffee shop at lunchtime and check if Vada’s free.”

Of course Emmy busts out laughing when Shanks tells her what I’ve reluctantly agreed to while Jane’s out at lunch.

Vada, the little traitor, agrees with Jane that it’s a great idea for us to go on a double date.

My last client of the day is one of my regulars and it takes longer than expected so we agree that I’ll pick up the Smurf and meet Jane and Mats at the mini-golf course they’ve chosen. Jane’s excited so I try really hard to hide my grimace. I literally can’t remember the last time I played mini-golf, it must have been with my parents, I guess.

When we park up at the mini-golf, I definitely can’t miss Mats and Jane. Mats is scowling like he doesn’t want to be here almost as much as I don’t. He’s wearing a denim jacket and he’s pulled it tight across his chest.

“Aren’t you sweating buckets in that thing?” Vada teases.

Mats shoots a look at Jane, who just laughs. “My sister,” he says through gritted teeth, “decided that we should embrace the full Hawaiian experience on our date tonight.”

He reluctantly lets go of his jacket allowing Vada to open it up a bit. “I’ve changed my mind,” I say when I catch a glimpse of what he’s wearing underneath. “I think tonight could be fun after all.” Especially if I get to tease Mats all night.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Mats glowers at me, “she brought spares.”

Yep, that’s definitely enough to shut me up. I was born here in Hawaii, I’m quite happy to leave the gaudy Hawaiian shirts to full-bellied, sunburned tourists.

Jane looks equally silly – she’s wearing a yellow t-shirt emblazoned with the name of one of the shaved ice stores on the front. It’s too big so she’s knotted it to one side. She’s paired that with a cute mini-skirt in a similar gaudy print to the shirt Mats is reluctantly wearing. It’s bright and wacky but it actually looks cute on her. I’m also really glad to see that even though she’s stepping out of her comfort zone – this mini-golf course is closer to the touristy side than we usually venture – she hasn’t covered up her leg.

“Zev, can you give me a ride home?” Vada asks as we queue up to collect our clubs.

“I can give you a lift,” Mats offers. My cousin has convinced him to ditch the jacket.

“OK, I just didn’t know if you were planning on drinking tonight?”

Mats looks horrified, “we’re underage.”

“I know,” Vada says. She doesn’t look at me when she says it because she knows I’ll be annoyed with her. “I’ve been here before, they’re not that strict and I’ve got a fake ID.”

Mats shakes his head, “I don’t drink.”

I’m kind of proud of him; it would have been so easy for him to pretend to be cool in front of his girlfriend.

“What about you, Jane?” Vada asks.

“I’m OK, I don’t drink either.”

I put my hand on Jane’s arm; I don’t want to spoil her fun tonight. “You don’t have to say no because of me.”

She looks confused and I realise that I’m an idiot because she doesn’t know how I lost my leg and therefore why I don’t drink anymore.

“I’m really OK,” she whispers so she doesn’t guilt-trip Vada, “my leg’s like this because of a drunk driver.”

She and Mats have never had shaved ice before so they each get one of those, Vada gets a beer and I take a bottle of water because even though it’s dusk, it’s still crazy hot.

The course isn’t too busy and not that I’d ever admit it to Emmy or Shanks but it’s kind of nice to do something cheesy – I definitely like seeing Jane enjoying herself.

Even though we’re the locals here, Mats and Jane are so much better at mini-golf than me and the Smurf. With a couple of holes to go, they’re way out in front and the Smurf and I are battling hard to avoid finishing last. I put my ball down and position my club and I dig deep to try and find some remnant of golfing skill from when I came with my folks all those years ago. It must work because the ball bounces down the green slope and hits the concrete at the end at just the right angle to go straight in the hole. Jane jumps and down with excitement, she’s already had three holes in one but I think she’s more excited for mine than she was for any of hers.

“You’re cute,” I haul Jane up against me while Vada lines up her shot.

“You’re having fun, admit it,” she teases.

“I might be,” I rub my bottom lip against hers, letting the ring snag against her flesh. She shivers a little, digging her fingers into my shoulders a little deeper.

Even though her brother and the Smurf are right there, I can’t resist kissing Jane. She tastes like sunshine and the lemon drop shaved ice she had earlier tonight.

Vada gets a five for the seventeenth hole and blames it entirely on me kissing Jane.

“Mats,” she calls after I get a decent enough three for the eighteenth. “I’m still not getting it. Can you come here and show me how it’s done.”

“Ew,” Jane and I turn away as Mats stands behind Vada and shows her how to line up the shot. “I guess we kind of asked for that with our kiss back there,” she suggests.

“I think we did,” I reach out and link our fingers together.

“Thank you,” Jane says quietly.

“What for, hot stuff?”

“Not drinking tonight,” She rubs her cheek against my bicep. “I really appreciate it.”

I sneak an arm around her waist and press her up against me. She’s shorter than me so she can’t see my pained expression when I kiss the top of her head. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I don’t drink anymore, I gave it up when I left L.A.”

She looks up at me like I’m this amazing person and it’s a sucker punch to the gut because I really want to be that person for her but I can’t.

 

ZEV

 

I asked Jane if she wanted me to drop her off at the shelter this evening but she’s finally convinced Mats to go with her to take a look at Jericho. She thinks that as soon as he sees him, he’ll fall head over heels in love with him just like she has and they can start the process to adopt him.

“Ugh, she’s even more annoying when she’s happy,” Emmy grumbles from behind the counter as we watch Jane almost skip across the parking lot to Mats’ car. My non-Smurf cousin is a lot less snarky towards Jane than she used to be but I still think Jane’s going to be waiting a long time for them to swap clothes and paint each other’s nails.

I watch them drive off and then turn back to the sketch I’m working on for a client I’ve got coming in tomorrow. “She’s hoping to convince her brother they should adopt that dog, Jericho.”

“That’s what she’s so excited about?” Emmy asks. There’s a distinct lack of sarcasm in her tone which immediately makes me suspicious.

“Yeah.”

“She’s going to be disappointed, Zev. Jericho’s already been adopted, his new family came by to pick him up this morning.”

I look across to where Mats’ car was parked just a couple of minutes ago. “Why didn’t you tell me they’d had people interested in adopting him? You knew how attached she was to Jericho.”

“I knew she liked hanging out with him but I didn’t think that she was seriously thinking about adopting him. Geez, Zev, if I’d known, of course I would have said something. I’m not a complete ogre, you know.”

“Why do you think she was always at the shelter?”

“I don’t know,” Emmy shrugs. “I guess I thought maybe she was trying to impress me or something. Vada said…”

“She went even if she knew you weren’t going to be there. She’s going to be crushed when she finds out that Jericho’s already been adopted.”

“Bad stuff happens, OK,” Emmy snaps defensively. “She was going to have to figure that out sooner or later.”

“I think the fact that she only has five toes and most of the calf muscle from her right leg is missing are kind of hints that she gets that bad stuff happens, Emmy.”

“Oh my goodness,” Emmy gasps. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“I’m not answering that,” I check my schedule for the rest of the day to work out how soon I can go and be with Jane.

“What’s going on?” Rusty asks, running his hand down his long, grey beard.

“Zev’s in love with Jane,” Emmy trills.

Rusty frowns, “for a minute there, I thought you had something juicy to tell me.”

“You knew?” Emmy scowls.

Rusty smiles triumphantly; he likes scoring points against his eldest daughter. “I knew as soon as he called to ask about Jane applying for the vacant receptionist position.”

Emmy swats his arm, “you did not.”

“I did too. Your old dad’s got a lot of experience of matters of the heart.”

 

When I finally finish work and drive over to the house, I know it’s going to be bad as soon as I see Mats pacing back and forth on the front porch. “Hey,” I nod at him before reaching for the door handle. “Is Jane inside?”

“I’d think twice about going in there if I were you,” he warns.

“Is this about Jericho?” I wince.

“It’s mostly about that, she’s also crazy with hormones.”

“You’ve got two sisters, right? Shouldn’t you be way better at dealing with women’s problems by now?”

“She said it was all my fault, made me stop for tampons at the store on the way back, bought a big bar of milk chocolate and proceeded to eat it right in front of me all the way home.”

I can’t help but laugh, “at least it wasn’t a big, fat greasy burger. You’d have been trying to get the stench of all that meat out of your car for weeks.”

He visibly shudders.

I find Jane upstairs in her bedroom curled up on her side under a faded quilt I haven’t seen before. “Hey, hot stuff.”

“Leave me alone,” she snuffles. “I’m in a really rubbish mood.”

“Then it’s a good job I’m excellent at getting people out of really rubbish moods.” I get rid of my shoes and climb into bed next to her, curling my body around hers. She’s changed out of her work clothes and into baggy sweat pants and a t-shirt.

“Jericho’s gone,” she hiccups, “the lady at the shelter said that the family who’ve adopted him are super nice, they’ve got a house with a big garden but I can’t be happy about it because I’m going to miss him too much. I’m a mess.”

After I left Mats downstairs, I made a quick detour into the bathroom before coming in to see Jane. “Are you sore?” I ask, letting my fingertips rub circles on her soft tummy.

“A little,” she admits.

I reach behind me for the hot water bottle and gently place it against her tummy over the top of her t-shirt. “Does that feel good?”

“Don’t be nice to me. I’m a horrible person,” she says softly, moving the hot water bottle down a couple of centimetres so it presses against her lower abdomen.

“No, you’re not.”

“I am,” she hiccups, “I should want Jericho to be happy.”

“You do, you’re just going to miss him.”

I give her a couple of painkillers and a bottle of water. “Thank you. These always make me sleepy,” she says after she’s taken them and curled back down on her side.

“It’s OK, hot stuff,” I stroke my fingers through her soft, inky black hair. “You go to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

As I lie there in the quiet of Jane’s bedroom, I realise that Rusty and Emmy were right earlier and wow, it really sticks in the gullet to admit that but somehow I’ve fallen in love with this stubborn British girl with only five toes who loves dogs, getting tattoos and teasing the heck out of me. I hadn’t recognised it before now because it’s nothing like the insanity I felt when I was with Sam.

 

LOLA

 

“This is the first Christmas that we won’t all be together on Christmas Day,” Mum says glumly when Mats and I finally pluck up the courage to call and let her and Dad know that we can’t fly back to Seattle for the holidays because all flights to the Pacific Northwest have been cancelled due to a huge snowstorm.

I’m really disappointed that I won’t be with my family at Christmas but I’m also kind of relieved because I’ve found this new me here in Oahu and I’m afraid that if I go back to Seattle that I’ll slip back into the blank space again.

“What are we going to do instead?” Mats asks. He looks just as lost as I feel. We’d always planned to go back to Seattle for the holidays so we haven’t put up decorations. It looks just like any other day in the Warner household. I’m actually at a loss on how to make it feel even the slightest bit Christmassy. As a Manchester girl, Christmas to me means freezing cold and so it’s going to be beyond weird celebrating it somewhere where the locals talk about it getting cold because it’s only going to be in the low-eighties! We don’t venture into those dizzy heights even in summer back home in northern England.

“I don’t know.”

“What’s up?” Zev asks, kissing my cheek. He’s just come back from picking up take-out.

“We’ve just had to tell our parents that we can’t go back to Seattle for Christmas,” Mats explains, “all flights to the Pacific Northwest have been cancelled because of the storm.”

“Which do you think would be more depressing,” I ask Mats as I curl up on the couch and take a sip of the coffee Zev has brought with him. “Skyping or not skyping with them on Christmas Day? I really don’t think I want to see everything that we’re missing.”

But the idea of sitting here and not doing anything doesn’t really appeal either. I look over at Zev, “is the Ink open on Christmas Day?”

Zev shakes his head, “there’s not much demand for tattoos on Christmas Day, hot stuff.”

“I don’t know,” I tap my chin, “I could really do with some new ink right about now. I like how it makes me all spaced-out afterwards. At least then I wouldn’t have to think about how sad Mum looked just now.”

“I’m sorry,” I quickly shake my head. I really need to stop being such a grouch.

“I know it won’t be the same,” Zev wraps his arms around me, “but why don’t you and Mats come and spend Christmas Day with my family. You already know Mags, the Smurf, Rusty and Darla. Danny will be there too and I think Shanks said he might stop by in the afternoon.”

I look over at Mats and yep, we’re definitely brother and sister because he’s got the same rabbit caught in the headlights expression on his adorable face. It’s amazing of Zev to invite us to spend Christmas Day with his family but I’m not exactly ready to meet his parents. At least Mats is halfway there because he knows Vada’s dad, Rusty already so it’s just her mum that he’s going to have to charm. I’ve never had to think about impressing a boyfriend’s parents before. Like I said, my parents were friends with Noah’s parents even before I was born so my natural cuteness and ability not to bawl my eyes out at inopportune moments won them over without me even having to think about it. I think pre-accident Lola would have been fine but as Jane, I’m awkward and deformed and oh my goodness, I’m ruining it already by accusing people I’ve never even met before of being superficial.

Yeah, there’s no chance that this is going to be anything other than a complete disaster.

Who knew that you actually keep your social skills in your toes because since the accident, I’ve definitely become deficient? I need to sprinkle Vada’s coffee beans on the soles of my shoes because they are definitely going to be wedged in my mouth.

“It’ll be fun,” Zev insists and I can tell he’d really like me to be there so I try to hide my fears.

“If you sure it’s OK with your family, we’d love to come.”

 

ZEV

 

She’s trying her best to hide it but I can tell that Jane’s nervous about meeting the extended Montgomery clan when the Smurf and I pick up her and Mats on Christmas morning.

We’re having dinner at my aunt Mellie’s because it’s closest to the beach.

I give Jane’s hand a squeeze as we get in the car.

“It’s going to be fine,” Vada insists as she climbs into the back of the car with Mats. “If anybody should feel awkward, it’s my Dad. This is the first year he’s bringing Darla with him.” I wouldn’t want to be my uncle right now, taking my girlfriend to my ex-wife’s house.

When we get to aunt Mellie’s, it looks like most of the Montgomery clan are already here. My dad’s out back tinkering with somebody’s car. Even though it’s his family, he’s a quiet man and he’s a lot more comfortable with his head under the hood of a car than having to make small talk with his relatives.

Vada takes Mats with her to find her mom, Mellie and I steer Jane over to where my mom’s putting out cutlery. There’s too many of us to have a fancy sit-down dinner so we’re having a buffet instead. “Mom, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet.”

Mom turns around and brushes her long, dark hair over her shoulder.

I try not to smirk as Jane offers her hand to my mom. “I’m Jane; it’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Montgomery.” My girl has literally never sounded so British before. “Thank you so much for letting me and my brother join your family for Christmas.”

I can tell Mom’s biting the inside of her cheek too. It’s like she’s meeting the Queen of England or something, I half-expect Jane to curtsy next.

Mom bypasses Jane’s outstretched hand and gives her a hug instead. Jane looks panicked as if she doesn’t know what to do with it.

“Don’t be silly. You and Mateo are more than welcome. When Zev told me that your flight to Seattle was cancelled, I couldn’t bear the thought of the two of you being alone at Christmas.”

Mom’s got a twinkle in her eye; she loves to embarrass the heck out of me. “Do you know you’re the first girl my Zev has brought home with him since high-school?”

Jane looks shocked, “really?” I feel kind of smug that she thinks I’m such a super-stud.

She seems a lot more comfortable now. There’s a reason my mom is every child’s favourite kindergarten teacher so I leave them chatting and go in search of my dad. As I’m walking through the house, I almost bump into Emmy. “It’s Christmas,” I remind her, just in case she’s got any ideas of being rude to Jane today.

“Duh,” she growls, pointing to the ridiculous Santa hat plonked on her candy-pink hair. “I know what the date is, dumbass.”

“Play nice, Emmy,” Mellie reminds her daughter.

“Thanks again for letting Jane and Mats come today,” I give my aunt a hug.

“Nonsense,” she insists, “in most cases, the more, the merrier.” I look over my shoulder and see her glaring at Rusty’s girlfriend, Darla.

“Play nice, Mom,” Emmy mocks.

When I get outside, I find my dad checking the oil and water in aunt Mellie’s truck. “You’re going to have to socialise with everybody eventually” I tease.

“Not if I can help it,” he gives me a wry smile.

“I brought Jane with me. I’d really like you to meet her.”

Dad reaches for a rag and wipes the grease from his hands. “Is this the British girl Danny was telling us about?”

I wince because Danny might be my best friend but he isn’t exactly Team Jane and Zev. “That’s right.”

“You told her about your accident yet?” Dad asks bluntly.

“Not yet, no.”

He doesn’t say anything but I can tell he doesn’t approve of me keeping that information from Jane.

“Food’s almost ready,” Maggie calls from the back door.

“Shouldn’t you clean up before dinner?” I ask Dad as we head inside. “It’s Christmas, after all.”

Dad rolls his eyes at me, “if my brother gets to sit down to dinner with all that horrible ink covering his arms and chest then nobody’s going to tell me that I’ve got to get changed. At least I got this,” he gestures to the oil on his forearms, “from doing something useful instead of butchering other people’s skin.” Yeah, my dad’s not exactly a huge fan of tattoos.

 

After dinner, we all walk down to the beach which is busy with locals. Danny and his surfer friends are already out in the water. We spread our blankets down on the sand. Big Mike’s dad is playing traditional Hawaiian music on his guitar and there are small clusters of bonfires all the way along the coast.

“How are you doing, hot stuff?” I pull Jane so she’s sat between my thighs with her back against my chest.

“I love your family,” she says softly, entwining her delicate fingers with mine. “Today has been amazing. Thank you so much for inviting Mats and I to spend Christmas with you all.”

“I love you,” I almost blurt out but although we’re snuggled together on the beach, we’re still surrounded by family and friends and when I tell Jane those three little words for the first time, I want it to be a moment shared by just the two of us.

My nephew, Louis has found a soccer ball from somewhere and he toddles across to Jane asking if she’ll play with him. Maggie follows close behind and I know she’s missing her husband, Jason right now. He’s in the military and stationed in the Middle East. She could definitely do with a break from being a single parent.

Before I can say anything, Jane has got up off the blanket and is reaching for Louis’ little hand. “Come on then, buddy. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

“Thank you,” Maggie mouths at Jane as she and Louis wander off to find a patch of empty sand.

“You should marry her,” Maggie announces as she sits down on the blanket.

“Keep your voice down,” I glare at my sister. I’ve already almost scared Jane off once by talking about babies, I don’t want to risk doing it again.

Maggie gives me her patented older-sister stare, “don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it?”

“Thought about what?” I play dumb.

“Zevvie,” she trills and I cringe, remembering how Sam used to call me that when she was being particularly annoying.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie giggles. “It just makes me so happy to see my baby brother finally falling in love.”

I glare at her again but it bounces straight off her.

“Who’s in love?” Mom asks as she and Dad join us on the blanket.

“Zev’s in love with Jane,” Maggie laughs at my discomfort.

“Of course he is,” Mom chuckles, “he’s his father’s son.” She pats my Dad’s hand. “He’s got excellent taste.”

“You like her then?” I ask cautiously. After my nasty break-up with Sam, my family’s opinion isn’t everything but it’s important to me.

Before they can say anything, we hear Louis giggle as he tries to dribble the ball around Jane, who’s also laughing.

“Duh,” Mom rolls her eyes.

Jane might have been born over seven thousand miles away but she fits here: in Oahu, with my big, crazy family, with me.

 

LOLA

 

Mats comes over to join my football match with Louis. I’m grateful for another person who knows that it’s football and not “soccer” we’re playing. Ugh, I really despise that word.

He’s not exactly sporty but he’s the son of an ex-pro so he knows the basics.

“Are you having fun?” I ask.

“Yeah, it was really kind of Vada’s mum to make sure that there was something vegan for me. She didn’t have to do that.”

“It was,” I look around at the sprawling mass of Montgomerys. “Do you think it’s weird that I don’t wish I was back in Seattle right now but instead that Mum, Dad and everybody else was here? I think they’d love it.”

Mats chuckles, “can you imagine the epic face-off there’d be between Sierra and Emmy?”

“We’d make a fortune selling tickets to that showdown.” I duck down to my right as Louis tries to score past me. “As much as Emmy intimidates the bejesus out of me, I’d still put all my money on Sierra and that’s definitely not just family loyalty talking.”

“Agreed,” Mats shudders. “I don’t think the world’s ready for her to graduate from high school in a few months.”

“Soccer,” Louis tugs on my dress, reminding me of the game we’re supposed to be playing.

I kneel down beside him, “it’s football, buddy. You kick the ball with your foot so it’s called foot-ball.”

“I can’t believe you’re corrupting my nephew with your English silliness,” Zev joins us.

“Excuse me, it’s not any kind of silliness. “What you Yanks call “soccer” is actually called “football” in most of the world, including all of Central and South America, the Middle East and most of Europe, Africa and Asia so there.” I kind of ruin my argument by sticking my tongue out him but I’m very protective of my favourite sport.

Mats looks over at Zev, “yeah, you’re never going to win that one.”

 

After it gets dark and we’ve said goodbye to his family, Zev drives me, Mats and Vada home. Mats and Vada head into the kitchen to put away the leftovers Mellie insisted we take home probably because nobody apart from Mats touched the vegan food she’d made.

Zev follows me upstairs to my bedroom. He doesn’t know it yet but it’s my birthday in a few weeks and I’ve decided that I only want three things. Seeing Zev with his family today has made me realise that I want to take our relationship to the next level: I’m ready to bump those proverbial uglies with Zev although I can’t imagine that there’s anything ugly about the kind and funny man that’s getting changed in my bathroom right now. It might sound mushy but I really think that he’s beautiful right down to his marrow. The second thing I’d like is to see my family in the flesh again because being around Zev’s big, crazy family has made me miss my own with a passion. I want Mum to see how happy I am here so she doesn’t worry about me too much. But with Sierra being in her last year of high-school, I’m probably going to have wait until the summer for that one.

That just leaves one more item on my list. I reach down and rub my hip dermals which twinkle up at me in the dark room. I want another piercing but I don’t want to go for something safe like my nose or belly button. I’m going to be a year older and I want something daring to mark the occasion. Zev’s still not back from the bathroom so I cover my boobs with my hands because I think the girls are still recovering from the tattoo (they’re such drama queens!) but I want to get my nips pierced.

I’ve got to talk to Zev about it not because he’s my sorta-boyfriend but because I want him to be the one to do it. The thought of anybody else seeing my boobs sans bra makes me break out in hives but I trust him. He had his doubts beforehand but he did an amazing job with my hip dermals.

“You’ve got that look in your eye,” Zev smirks as he comes back into the bedroom wearing a white t-shirt and a pair of plaid pyjama pants. I’ve told him before that it’s Hawaii and he doesn’t have to cover up, I’m sure he doesn’t sleep fully dressed like that on the rare occasions that he sleeps alone but he’s adamant that he doesn’t want to risk temptation which makes me feel like a sultry vixen and I’m beyond OK with that.

“You want another tattoo, don’t you?”

“Nope,” I shake my head as I climb into bed and I have a moment of indecision because I can’t lie here with my hands covering the girls because Zev will think I’m even more of a weirdo than he already does. I think there might be an acceptable level of weirdness and I don’t want to catapult myself across that imaginary line.

I drop my hands but pull the covers up, hoping the extra level of fabric will muffle what I’m about to ask Zev from my sensitive girls. “So I was thinking…”

“We’re not there yet,” Zev says gruffly, thinking about Birthday Wish No 1.

“You might not be,” I huff, “but I am.”

He turns to face me and he looks so serious. “Are you sure about this, Jane?”

“A gazillion times yes,” I lean over and brush my lips against his. We’re interrupted by the sound of Mats and Vada coming up the stairs. “We just need to wait for an empty house.”

“Anyway,” I shake my head to clear any feelings that can’t be acted upon in a house with walls so thin you kind of wonder how it remains standing. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about before. Well, not just that. I want you to give me something but it’s not a tattoo and it isn’t rude, well it’s ruder than the previous things you’ve given me.” I know I’m rambling but I’m nervous because I really want this and if Zev says he won’t do it, I won’t ask anybody else.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me,” Zev insists. I feel his stump brush up against my thigh and it gives me courage. I wish I could tell Zev that my name isn’t Jane because I don’t feel like the tragic fictional character that I was named after. I feel like Lola again but Lola version 2.0. I’m not happy because of Zev but I am happy with him if that makes any sense at all?

“I want another piercing,” I say quietly because I really don’t want my brother to hear this. We might share a house with the thinnest possible walls but we do have boundaries.

“Whereabouts?” Zev asks.

“Here,” I point to the girls because it’s way easier than saying it out loud.

Zev coughs, “you really want to pierce your…”

“Yeah,” I nod. Please don’t say no.

“What do you think?” I ask when he’s finally recovered from coughing.

“You know that I’d have to see them, right?”

I chuckle, “Really, because I thought asking you to jab a needle into my flesh while you’re wearing a blindfold would be a fabulous idea?”

“I’ve never seen you like that before,” he seems a little awestruck.

“Nobody’s ever seen me like that before,” I remind him. “The world’s oldest virgin, remember?”

“I know you haven’t…”

He looks so awkward that I bust out laughing. I can’t believe that we’re thinking about doing the deed and while I keep using various proverbs to describe it, my hunk of a sorta-boyfriend is blushing. We’re uber-adorable.

“I thought you might have fooled around, you know?”

“I’m starting to think that in some ways my accident was a blessing. I thought I was in love with Noah but we never moved beyond over the clothes stuff and we were both OK with that so maybe we were just really good friends that got confused.”

Zev’s quiet for a moment and I wonder what he’s thinking. “Will you do it?”

“Yeah, I’ll do it.”

 

ZEV

 

When the Ink opens back up again after Christmas, Emmy mentions that Chloe, one of Maggie’s mom friends, has made an appointment to get her nipple piercings redone. She had to take them out to breastfeed her son, Archie but now that he’s on solid foods, she wants to get them put back.

I’ve done these sorts of piercings before but it’s been a while. I haven’t actually done any since I came back from L.A. I could ask Emmy to supervise like she did with Jane’s hip dermals but even though she’s a woman; I still don’t want anybody else in the room with us when I pierce Jane’s boobs. I want it to be a private moment between the two of us.

Even though Emmy looks like she might vomit when I ask her, she still offers to talk to Chloe about letting me sit in on her appointment.

“Of course,” Chloe giggles when Emmy calls her, “I’ve whipped my boobs out in public to feed Archie so many times that I’d be surprised if there’s anybody in Oahu who hasn’t seen them already.”

When Chloe arrives for her appointment, I can see Jane is struggling to contain her jealousy and it makes me smirk. I love it when my girl gets feisty.

I must linger a little too long watching Jane because Chloe trills, “are you coming, Zev?”

Jane narrows her eyes at me.

“It was your idea, hot stuff,” I remind her, which just makes her scowl even more.

“I need to warn you before you go in there,” Chloe teases, “you’re going to have to try really hard to control yourself because my boobs literally look like golf balls swinging in knee-length socks thanks to that little sucker.” She motions to Archie, who’s playing in the corner of the store with Louis. Maggie has come along to give her friend some moral support, not that she needs it.

 

LOLA

 

“I’m going to throat-punch your brother,” I whisper to Maggie as the door closes behind Emmy, Zev and Chloe.

She chuckles, “he’s right though. This was your idea.”

“A really stupid one. I should have just gone to Big Mike’s and had it done there.”