Chapter 2
CHARLI
Seventenyersold
THE MUSIC IS LOUD. I hear my brother and his friends shouting. I’m trying to read my book, but have had to reread the same paragraph at least four times.
Why do they feel the need to shout? I groan. I’ll have to see what all the commotion is about or it will never end.My Nana is out of town, so Jensen decided it would be fun to
throw a party. It feels like he invited the entire school.
Not annoying… at all.
I get off my bed and place my book on my bedside table.
The Notebook will have to wait...
I close the door behind me out of hope that no drunk people
will try to go into my room.
I’m surprised the house hasn’t burned down with all the
parties Jensen throws. Nana has no idea about these parties
because my brother is secretive about it. I’ll never rat out Jensen.
What’s that saying?
Snitches get stiches.
Yeah, my mouth is sealed shut.
I have no plans of opening it.
I pass a couple practically having sex on the staircase, and it
makes me second guess my resolve to let Jensen have his way. I
pull my nose up at them. They don’t even realize I’m here.
Can’t they do that somewhere else?
I make my way down to where I hear Jensen’s voice, booming
through the house in the family room.
He tells someone to grab him another beer.
How many has he had?
He has a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other when
I enter the family room.
This is his new rebellious stage.
He thinks that since our parents have passed away no one
can tell him how to live his life. Nana has given up. I’m certain
he’ll send her to an early grave if he keeps this up. Jensen isn’t
the same. He had colleges lined up and was planning his future
but now he doesn’t care. I often wonder if this is his way of hiding
the pain over the loss of our parents. Is it a coping mechanism?
He blows out smoke as I get closer to him. He pulls some
blonde chick into him and licks the side of her face. She giggles an
annoying high-pitched squawk.
It makes me gag.
I frown at him.
Really?
“H-ey C-haarrrl-i.” Tyler slurs when he notices me.
I give him a small smile.
He is gorgeous, so he gets away with everything.
“Damn baby! When did you get so fucking exquisite?” Lucas
says. He smirks and winks at me.
Jensen glares at him.
“Shut the fuck up.”
He punches Lucas in the arm. Lucas laughs and clutches his
arm.
If my brother’s friends have one thing in common, it is they
flirt shamelessly with anything female. Jensen’s friends especially
flirt with me to rile him up. They find endless enjoyment out of it.
“What do you want, Charli?” Jensen asks.
There went my fun-loving big brother. He has traded that
person in for a moody and grumpy jerk.
“The music is a little loud don’t you think? And do you guys
have to shout so loud?” I ask.
Jensen shoots up from his spot on the couch.
He stumbles, but quickly steadies himself on Lucas, who sits
next to him. Yeah, I think to myself, he’s drunk.
“You’re not Mom or Dad. You’re my kid sister. So, go back to
that, because that’s what you are. You think I’m going to listen to
you? Get the heck out of here, Charli.”
I cross my arms and take a step back as he loses his balance
and falls onto the couch. I squint, and sure enough, he has
bloodshot eyes. They are so red. How can he even see out of them?
“Wait a minute,” I say, not sure if I really want to know the
answer to my question. “Are you high?”
“Get the fuck out… FUCK,” he roars.
He slams his fist down on the coffee table in front of him. It
makes me and everyone else jump. My brother would never
physically hurt me, but the look of anger on his face frightens me.
“You’re a fucking kid, stay out of my business,” he says. He
runs his fingers through his thick hair. His deep breath tells me
he’s starting to lose control.
That hurts. Considering how our lives turned out, I consider
myself pretty grown up. I may not party crazy hard like my
classmates did but that doesn’t make me a child. I thought
keeping to myself in my bedroom to read during these types of
parties made me more mature.
I hold back tears.
We have talked so much and he had been so strong for me
since our parent’s accident. He has never raised his voice at me,
not even when we were kids. He isn’t the same and I hope this
phase will pass on. I want my fun-loving, carefree brother back.
I see Carter and Christian out of the corner of my eye going
from Jensen then back to me. They must be wondering if a fight
between us is about to break out. They know we used to be close.
They also know he’s never raised his voice at me, well, until now.
Jensen wraps his arm around the girl he was licking before
she starts rubbing her hand over his thigh slowly bringing it to
rest on his groin.
I know that’s my cue, and I leave. I make my way to the
bathroom to wash up and get ready for bed. I will have to lock my
door again so no drunk people try to find my bed in the middle of
the night. I refuse to make that mistake again. At the last party
Jensen threw, I found a couple in the middle of—well—you know.
I turn the handle of the bathroom door. It opens, so I assumed
it is empty.
I stop in my tracks as my eyes find Eli.
My eyes take in the scene before me, Eli is leaning against
the sink and a girl is on her knees in front of him. His head is
thrown back, his eyes closed. His hand is tangled in her hair. I
may not have had sex yet but I know she is giving him a blowjob,
her head is moving back and forth as Eli’s hand keep hold of her
head. He throws his head back as he moans.
“Fuck, Amber.”
I freeze like a statue, captivated by what was happening in
front of me.
I should turn and walk away. It is like a horrible scene in a
movie where you can’t take your eyes off it. They are both fully
dressed, but the image of Eli’s penis in her mouth is impossible to
ignore.
I swallow the lump in my throat and hope my racing
heartbeat can’t be heard by Eli and his companion.
Eli’s head falls forward and his piercing eyes meet mine. He
doesn’t tell me to get out, he doesn’t stop the girl, if anything his
grip on her head tightens and he doesn’t take his eyes off mine.
Her head bobs up and down as she swallows him, his teeth grip
his lip as his breath gets heavy.
“Fuck, baby, take it,” he says to the girl. He pushes himself
deeper and holds my gaze. I stand there and watch as Eli’s grip on
the girl’s head tightens even more, as he pushes himself in and
out of her mouth.
Doesn’t that hurt her hair? Does it feel good wrapping her
lips around him? I want to know these things. She doesn’t stop;
she just lets him shove his penis down her throat. Doesn’t that
hurt? I mean, I can only see some of Eli’s penis now as most of it
is buried in this girl’s mouth but I’ve seen the outline My
imagination has gone wild with thoughts of what it looks like. I
can tell he’s very well equipped. He throws his head back again.
“Fuck,” he breathes.
I’m not sure why I’m watching this I can’t stop.
His arm muscles flex as he grips the girl’s head. I don’t know
her, but I already know I hate her. Eli is everything I want and
more.
His hips push forward faster as her head goes back and forth
and then he grunts. He stops, holding still as his growl tells me
he’s cumming in this girl’s mouth.
My first thought is, what does he taste like? My second
thought, I want to do that to him. I want make him feel like that.
She pulls back and Eli fixes himself. I make a quick exit. I
don’t want to listen to what they talk about and I certainly don’t
want to be there when she realizes they were putting on a show.
I’m so embarrassed for watching.
My cheeks are flushed I don’t have to check in a mirror to
know that. Even though I wish that was me on my knees in front
of Eli giving him that pleasure, it was still hot to watch. I have
never had a crush before but with Eli I fell hard and fast. It all
started when he stopped treating me like a little girl. He’d wink
at me, flirt constantly, and I’d catch him looking at me. His eyes
would travel over my body sending goosebumps over my skin.
I head to my room to get away from what I just watched in
there. I can’t explain it to myself let alone to Eli if he asked. Why
did I watch? I’m not sure because it should have been the last
thing I wanted to do.
I should be embarrassed, but I’m not. I mean, I just watched
the guy I have a crush on get a BJ from another girl. I should be
heartbroken that he stood there and let me watch the whole time
as another girl savoured him.
I sit down on my bed and cross my legs. A soft knock
interrupts me, and I look up, hoping I’m not about to tell someone
to go away, my room isn’t a place they can get off in.
Eli walks in not waiting for my answer and closes the door
behind him he clicks the latch it’s so loud in my quiet room. He
stands there his hands in his pockets and looks at me. His eyes
travel up the full length of my body before he meets my eyes. His
eyes bore into mine as he doesn’t say anything just watches me. I
swallow as my nerves creep up, my heart is beating so fast I can’t
breathe. Is he mad I walked in? Is he mad that I stayed?
“You liked that, Charli.”
It’s not a question. He slowly makes his way to my bed. He
sits down next to me raising his eyebrows as if waiting for my
answer.
“You like watching me get my dick sucked?”
I nod slowly before I even have time to tell my brain to say
something intelligent.
He smirks.
“Charli, Charli, Charli.” He says shaking his head, making a
tsking sound
His finger brushes my cheek as he reaches for a piece of hair
that’s fallen from my hair tie.
His touch ignites my body and I feel like I’m soaring across
the sky.
He leans into me his lips inches from mine.
He’s going to kiss me, please let this be real.
He pulls back just before our lips touch, his mouth widens
into a devastating smile his hand rest on my arm like he’s holding
me in place, it makes me feel safe. His smile turns to a hardened
frown his forehead creases.
“You’re a naughty girl, Charli. You want to suck my dick,
don’t you?”
His lips so close to mine that if I just inch forward a little,
they’d be touching. I nod, answering his question. He pulls back,
frowning at me.
“That shit isn’t for you, stay away from it.”
I frown at him, unsure of what he means.
“I’m no good for you, sweetheart. And I can’t give you what
you deserve, that back there.” He says, nodding his head towards
my door.
“That’s all I do, I fuck, and don’t give back. My heart isn’t
available; it never will be. Not for little miss perfect, anyway.”
His eyes fall from mine, and then he moves away from me as
if I’m a disease he has to stay flee from.
My heart hurts. Eli has always been blunt. He says what he
thinks, and means what he says. He doesn’t hold anything back.
Sometimes
what
he says
really
hurts
me emotionally
and
physically I feel like he’s just torn my beating heart from my chest
at those simple words. He will never be available. Not even for me.
What does that mean?
Does he know about my crush on him? So much for the kiss I
thought we were about to share. I’m so stupid to think anything
would ever happen between us