CHAPTER FOUR

Cynder

The next morning, I woke up with a feeling of excitement as though I’d had a lovely dream but forgotten it the moment my eyes opened. It took me a few moments to realize it was because of last night and dancing in the kitchen. It was the first morning since Grace died that I hadn’t woken up with pain being the first emotion I felt. Sure, I still hurt. Nothing could take away the anguish I felt at losing my sister, but at some point between ten o’clock last night and this morning, the crushing weight on my heart had lifted slightly, and my first thought upon waking was not of Grace or the upcoming ball, but of a servant who washed up in the kitchen downstairs.

I looked at my clock. Jenny would be along at any second to let me know what the day had in store. As if on cue, the door opened, and she appeared with a folio in her hand. At the very same time, the other door opened and Elise came bounding in.

“Is that what I think it is?” her eyes opened wide as she took in the folio in Jenny’s hand.

“It’s the list of men coming to the ball. Their photos and a little information about each of them are in there. It’s for Charmaine’s eyes only,” she said, ignoring Elise’s exuberance and passing it to me.

Elise, in turn, ignored her and jumped onto the bed beside me as I opened the folio to the first bachelor.

“Wow, he’s ugly,” remarked Elise. “Why does he only have three teeth?”

“You heard Jenny, you aren’t supposed to be looking at this,” I pulled it away from her prying eyes. I couldn’t go through it with her commenting on the appearance of every guy in there.

“Why?” she sniffed.

“I don’t know. Maybe they don’t want anyone else falling in love with these guys before I do.”

“I already am in love with them.” She danced around the room with a silly grin on her face.

“You should go. I need to shower.” It was a lie. I was sure to get scrubbed down in the marble room again later, but I wanted to look through the list in peace.

“Ok,” Elise singsonged. “I’ll see you later.”

Jenny sighed as Elise left the room. “I’ll be off too. I’ll be testing you on their names after breakfast, so try and remember some of them, ok?”

She closed the door behind her, leaving me alone with a hundred photographs of men, one of which I was supposed to marry within the next six months.

I opened the folio and stared at the first photo. It was a grainy black and white picture that was clearly years old. I could see Elise’s point. He did look like he only had three teeth. I read the name printed underneath.

Julius Darwin III

Landowner

Landowner? What did that even mean? Is that all he did? Own land? I put it down to my side, beginning a pile that would firmly be labeled, nope.

An hour later and my nope pile was getting ridiculously high. I’d put three photos on my maybe pile, and my yes pile was sadly deficient. I’d only included the three in the maybe pile because I thought Elise might like them.

There was a knock at my door.

“Come in.”

Cynder walked in with a large silver tray containing cereal and fruit. My heart leapt when I saw him.

“The queen noticed you hadn’t been down for breakfast, so she sent instructions to the kitchen to have something light brought up for you. I asked Pascal if I could bring it up.”

I eyed up the bland looking cereal and sighed. “I’d kill for a bacon sandwich.”

“I knew you’d say that!” He grinned, pulling a paper bag from his back pocket. Immediately, the aroma of bacon filled the air.

“You made this?” I asked in amazement. Was the guy a mind reader too?

“No,” he admitted in a whisper. “You caught me. I used my wand.”

I took the bag from his hand and pulled out the sandwich, stuffing it into my mouth. It tasted like heaven.

“I could just kiss you!” I said, between mouthfuls, not caring how unladylike I looked.

“I guess I will have to wait until you’ve gotten through this lot first,” he replied, picking up the last photo I’d thrown down.

I rolled my eyes.

“I’ve still got about thirty to go through. Honestly, most of them are old enough to be my father. One of them, I swear was seventy years old.”

Cynder grinned. “At least, you won’t have to worry about being married to him for long. He’ll be dead soon enough.”

“Good point!” I said, “Now where was he? I’ll put him on my yes pile.” I began to rummage through the nope pile.

“What about this guy?” Cynder said, holding up a photo. “He seems nice enough. Handsome guy.”

I took the photo from him and read his name out loud. Luca Tremaine.

He was good-looking. With dark, brooding features and a hint of a beard, he was quite the catch. Elise would drool over the guy.

“Prince Luca, second son of The King and Queen of Thalia,” I read aloud. “My father would probably like me to pick him. He’s all about strengthening relations with other kingdoms.”

I put the photo on the maybe pile.

“I’m not sure,” replied Cynder, picking the photo up again and putting it in the nope pile. “I’ve heard of him. He’s not good enough for you.”

“Whatever do you mean?” I wasn’t used to servants offering their opinions.

“He’s got a reputation as a bit of a playboy. There have been many women.”

I arched my brow.

“What?” he shrugged. “The girls in the kitchen gossip. It’s not my fault if I overhear.”

I sighed. There was bound to be something wrong with all of them. “Maybe he just hasn’t found the right woman to settle down with yet.” I looked at the photo again. I could well believe the kitchen maids’ gossip. He was a very good-looking guy. I put him back in the maybe pile. “At least, he has his own teeth.”

“Just be careful.”

I looked up to find Cynder gazing at me. The humor had gone to be replaced with concern. It unnerved me.

“What does it matter who I pick?” I asked honestly.

“I just think you deserve to be happy.”

I placed the rest of the photos back down on the bed. The conversation was getting uncomfortable, and I couldn’t figure out why. His familiarity with me was unnerving and yet exciting at the same time. I’d never had a member of staff talk to me the way he did. Before I had a chance to think about it, I blurted out “Dance with me?”

“Here?” It was his turn to look uncomfortable now.

“Yes, here. I want to show my dance instructor that I can do better.” I felt my cheeks redden at the audacity of asking a member of the staff to dance with me in my own room. Normally, I would never have dared to ask such a thing, but I wasn’t ready for him to go.

“Ok, then,” Cynder pulled out his wand and locked the doors. I could understand why. I could only imagine the trouble we’d be in if we got caught.

He took me in his arms as he had the night before and began to hum. It was the only music we had. This time, he hummed a slow song.

He held me tight while I rested my head on his shoulder. This was not a dance he was teaching me. We were doing little more than swaying together, and yet again, we had become one. His arms around me made me feel safe as we slowly moved around my room, our bodies almost meshed together with only the thin silk of my nightgown between his hands and my bare skin. It felt like an ending to something wonderful and an awakening at the same time

“We can’t do this again,” he said, pulling away abruptly.

Confusion abounded within me. Only a second before, it had felt so good, and now he was moving away from me with confusion in his eyes.

“Why not?” I asked, taking a step closer to him. He stepped back at the same time.

“I can’t. I should go.”

“Please. I need your help. I have to dance with these strangers, and I don’t know how.” I pointed to the pile of photos on the bed.

“You have a teacher.”

“I like being taught by you.”

He nodded slowly and kissed my cheek before unlocking my door and walking through it.

“Ok,” he replied, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts, and with my heart beating at double speed.

I could still feel his lips on my skin when Jenny turned up half an hour later. She immediately saw the two piles of photos on my bed. A large one for no’s, and a tiny one for maybe’s. There were still no photos on the yes pile.

“Oooh, been making some decisions, have we?” She picked up the maybe pile. “Oooh, good choice.”

She sifted through the photos, occasionally making comments such as “He’s a tasty dish,” and “I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” This was Jenny’s way of giving me her seal of approval.

“Where is Daniel Laurient?”

“Who?” I asked.

She picked up the pile of nopes and began to flick through it before pulling out one of the photos and handing it to me.

“He’s the son of a friend of mine. I promised her you’d give him thought. He’s a nice guy and would be a perfect match for you. He’s a local lad too.”

I picked up the photo of Daniel. A pair of piercing green eyes gazing out of a chiseled face stared back at me. He had blond hair and a wide smile. He looked nice. I must have missed him when I threw him on the nope pile. He looked honest and immediately I liked him. I threw him back on the maybe pile. I didn’t like him enough to go on the yes pile. I didn’t like any of them enough.

After another ten minutes of deliberation, I ended up with fifteen photos on the maybe pile and a whopping eighty-five on the nope pile. Jenny spent a good hour with me going over their names and titles of which I only remembered a quarter at best.

Later, she took me back to her room to learn how to eat soup. Part of me hoped I’d see Cynder again as it would surely be he that brought up the soup, but the large bowl of tomato soup was already waiting for us on the table.

Under Jenny’s watchful gaze, I ladled spoonful after spoonful of the red soup into my mouth until I was bursting with the stuff, and not once did I spill it, much to Jenny’s satisfaction.

After lunch (which I spent alone in my bedroom, going over the photos and names of the men) I proceeded to my dance lesson.

Stephan grimaced as I walked through the ballroom door, no doubt imagining all the horrible things I was about to do to his feet. He gave the signal, and the servant by the old record player pressed play.

I felt confident as he walked over to me, but as he took me in his arms, everything felt wrong. Everything Cynder had taught me went right out of the window, and the whole lesson ended up being just as disastrous as the one the day before. I couldn’t understand why. Dancing with Cynder had been effortless. This was torture for both of us.

That night, I counted down the hours until I could go down to the kitchen to ask Cynder where I’d gone wrong. As soon as the clock turned ten, I raced down the stairs that would take me to the kitchen, making sure no one saw me. When I walked through the door, a wonderful aroma hit me. Two plates and two glasses of wine had been placed on the table.

“What’s this?” I asked in wonder.

“I made sure it was ready for ten o’clock. I’ll have to do the dishes after you leave.” I looked over to see a huge pile of dishes, much larger than the night before, just waiting for him to clean up.

“You didn’t have to,”

“No, but you secretly hoped I would, right?”

“I barely ate anything at dinner,” I admitted, slipping into the seat beside him. The meal was amazing, even better than the one he’d made the night before and much better than anything Pascal had ever produced. It made me feel bad for his situation, and yet, I didn’t understand it fully.

“You are too good for washing up. You could easily be the head chef here or at some other place.”

Cynder sighed. “It’s not that easy. I don’t have a degree. I’ve never even been to university.”

“But you are amazing. Surely, someone will hire you without a degree. Your dishes speak for themselves.”

“You need a degree to get a job as a head chef, or you have to work your way up the ranks. I’ve been here three years and watched as people who don’t know how to boil an egg, get promoted before me.”

“But why?”

“Because I’m a Mage,” he growled. “Magi don’t go to university, and they don’t get jobs as head chefs.”

I was taken aback at his gruffness. I’d not seen him angry before.

“But why don’t they?” I persisted. “Surely, with Magic, you’ll be able to do things even better than the rest of us?”

“That’s exactly the thing you non-Magi are afraid of, which is exactly the reason why we are kept out of positions of power, and why we are not let into university.”

“I’m not afraid of magic,” I replied, slightly put out by his tone.

“Maybe not, but your family is.”

“That’s not true,” I said, but as I said it, the interview with my mother came back to me. Not a single Mage had been selected out of five thousand potential partners.

“Isn’t it?” he replied bitterly.

I ate my meal quickly and stood up to leave.

“Where are you going?” he asked, sounding surprised that I was leaving.

“You obviously don’t want me here.”

“That’s not true. I’m sorry. I’m out of order.” He stood and pulled me into his arms the way he’d done the night before. I relaxed, feeling safe as he began to hum. As he spun me around the kitchen, I couldn’t help but think that I was the one who should have been apologizing to him.

Afterwards, I helped him wash up, and he let me. Again, he didn’t use magic.

Every day for the next two weeks went the same way. In the morning, I’d spend time with Jenny before going to the ballroom to have my dance lesson with Stephan. By the end of the two weeks, I’d managed to get through all the dances without stepping on him once, but it was nothing to the way I danced with Cynder in the kitchen.

The nights down there had become my only solace from a manic schedule of lessons and briefings. I counted down the hours and minutes until Cynder took me in his arms, and we’d weave around the kitchen furniture as though we were the only two people in the palace. Neither of us had mentioned him being a Mage again, and not once since he produced that bacon sandwich did I see him using magic.

On the night before the ball, he seemed subdued as he served up my meal. As usual, it was out of this world.

“What’s the matter?”

“This is our last night together. I’m going to miss you, Charm.”

At some point in the last two weeks, he’d started calling me Charm. In a world where everyone referred to me as Princess Charmaine, I liked it, a lot.

“Why?”

“Because you won’t need lessons after tonight.”

It’s weird how I’d not thought about it before now, but he was right. In my mind, the lessons would go on forever, but in reality, how could they? My heart fell with a thud as I realized it was not the lessons I came down here for.

“I can still come and see you though?”

“In a few months, you’ll be married. I doubt your husband will take too kindly to you coming down here and seeing another man.”

In all the chaos surrounding the last two weeks, the reality of my situation had not really sunk in. I’d been concentrating on task after task, not looking forward to the reason I was doing it all. The ball had barely crossed my mind at all except for fleeting moments of panic, and my wedding day seemed like such a long way off that it could never come.

I almost said that I’d come down here anyway. After all, no one knew that I came down here now, why should they after the ball? But I knew it couldn’t happen. The reality was that once I’d picked five guys to stay, my every moment would be recorded and my elicit trips to the kitchen would become a distant memory.

I laid my head on Cynder’s shoulder, silent, listening to the music he made and the beat of his heart as we swayed around the room. We danced a slow dance, the one usually reserved for a special person at the end of the night. I wondered how I could ever find a special person by the end of the ball, especially when I was beginning to think I’d already found him.