Reconstruction
Dallas
She’s outside the car Carson and I have been packing as soon as I got home from her house. I need to leave now.
“Rya, you need to stop.” I pry her hands off the car door. This is killing me inside.
“Please don’t go without me. I’m so sorry. It was a mistake. I don’t know why I did that. Please, just listen to me.” I have to pry her fingers to let go of my door. Still, she tries to hang on.
“Carson, let’s go.” He needs to drive me home because I can’t drive at the moment. He’s got tears in his eyes as he starts the car.
“Rya, you need to stop this. You’re making it worse than it has to be.” She’s crying so hard, I can hardly understand what she’s saying.
“Please just listen to me. I just need a chance to explain what happened.” Desperate pleas tumble out of a desperate mouth.
“I thought you said that you didn’t know what happened. How can you explain it to me then?” She stumbles for words, to find the right things to say.
“You can’t have the both of us, so I’m making it easier for you. Stay here and try to work it out with your mate. Give him a chance. Obviously, you two have some things that need to be worked out, and I’m glad that this happened, because if I were to mark you, I would be forever tormented by this unfinished business with him. The what if’s would kill me inside. I have no what if’s. I only can see you now. My path is clear, unlike yours.” She’s trying with all her might to keep the door open between us.
“Please, Dallas, please don’t do this. It was a mistake; I realize this now.” Her voice is shaking like her entire body.
“Oh, you just realize this now. What about the times I asked you if you were sure with what you wanted? I believed you, but now I don’t believe anything you have to say to me.” She stills, her eyes looking at me with tears that won’t stop.
“I never lied to you Dallas, ever.”
“Then you were lying to yourself, Rya. I think that’s even worse.”
“Please don’t do this, not like this. I love you, Dallas. I love you so much. I need you.”
“Stop it, Rya, stop. You’re making this hard.” She tries to pull the car door open fully, but I won’t let her. I’m prying her fingers away that are anchored onto the steel frame. Giving her a shove, so she falls on the ground, I close and lock the door. She scrambles up, pounding her fists against the window. Her words are muffled, but her eyes hold nothing but despair.
My gut is all twisted up and turning sideways inside myself. I feel as if I could throw up with what I’m seeing.
“Go, Carson.” I can hardly say the words.
Feeling the car lurch forward, we pull away from this pack, from her, and go toward my home. Looking back, she’s on her knees holding the ground in her hands, head pressed against the earth.
“Are you okay, brother?” Carson’s hand goes to my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“I’ll be okay.” I have been through worse. This is hard, but I will recover.
“What did Mom and Dad say?” Carson’s voice holds sadness.
“They understand that this was the best decision to be made.” I look out the window because I can’t bear Carson’s pitying eyes.
When I called my father telling him I’m coming home alone, he was quiet for a few seconds before asking if I was going to be all right. I told him yes. He was quiet again before telling me that I had to try, to take that chance. I knew what I was up against, the bond. I know what that is all about. I was just lying to myself that she could beat it, that I could beat it. But in the end, it just beat me.
I owe Rya a lot. I owe her for giving me my life back. For waking me from sleepwalking through life. She made me realize I didn’t want to be alone anymore, that I wanted more from life. I can’t help the way my own tears now come. My throat burns with emotions. I try to angle away from Carson so he can’t see me. I try to refocus, but I just can’t control my hurt.
From the moment I saw that female, I knew she was special, the way she smiled when I was showing her around the clinic, the way she dealt with all those females. Even when she was at her most vulnerable, she tried to hold herself up on her own. She has such strength inside herself. She made me laugh. She made me believe that I could become what everyone wants me to be. She made me believe in me. I’ll always love her for that.
My shoulders start shaking with the way I’m trying not to sob in front of my brother, my weakness showing through my armor that I have built up through the years.
She was mine for a moment, and I loved every single moment we had together.
“I love you, Clayton.” Carson uses my first name. I have a hard time hearing it. It reminds me too much of who I was, not who I am now.
I was to irresponsible back then, taking chances, never really thinking about consequences.
Rya will be happy with Clayton. They just need a chance to be what the moon wanted them to be in the first place. I need to keep telling myself that or else I might have Carson turn the car around and go back to her. Give her a chance, like she gave me, except her chance is with her mate and not a fraud like me.
Stopping only for gas and drive thru, we make it to the pack in record time. Caleb will drive my car home once he decides to leave. He’s become slightly attached to those wolves.
Pulling into the driveway, the pack is there waiting for me. Every single member is here to welcome me back. Getting out, I straighten out my shoulders, meeting everyone’s eyes.
“Welcome home,” the pack murmurs as one. They reach out, touching my shoulders, my arms, my shaved head.
Making my way to my parents, my mother kisses my cheek in welcome. My father embraces me into his arms, and it takes everything I have not to break down in front of my pack.
No words can leave my mouth at the moment. It’s too difficult. We hug each other for a long time until I can let go.
Making our way into the house after I thank every single wolf for coming to welcome me back, my mother has cooked a feast for me.
“You look bigger.” Cash squeezes my bicep, trying to make me smile. Kennedy is beside him looking down at the ground, picking at her nails. I can smell her nervousness. It’s like everything that used to be her is gone and replaced with something new.
“How’s everything going, Cash?”
“Better.” One word answer, but at least it’s a good word.
My phone starts to ring. Taking it out of my pocket, I see it’s Rya. I turn it off. I can’t talk with her anymore, and it’s not good for either of us. She has a mate, and I have a pack that needs me.
Dinner is quiet, hushed with our mood. In time, this won’t be so bad. It will be like she never happened to me.
Carson gets up from his chair, facing our parents. “I’d like to talk with the both of you in your office, Father.”
My dad’s looking at him in question. I don’t think he’s ever asked this of both my parents at the same time.
“All right, are you okay?” my mother asks.
“I am, I’m okay.” Those are his words, and I believe them.
“Your training starts now, my son. You need to make your own way to the wild wolves and come back on your own. You need to get back to basics before you can move forward with me.”
“How will I know when it’s time to come back?” I’m not sure that I’ll want to come back.
“You’ll just know, trust me. Now go.” My father’s deep voice urges me to follow what he’s saying.
Giving my goodbyes to my family, I head out toward the wild, and hopefully, I’ll come back ready to face what I have been putting off for so long.
The wolf ascends from cocoon of skin turning to fur. He run full out, noses pointed forward, tail straight, stretching our body out completely.
The Wild runs the way the wind can blow, fast and furious to greet his nature head on.