Chapter 7
CASH'S GRIP ON her hair was too tight, too desperate, showing Bryn exactly how on edge he was. He doubted himself. He doubted his instincts. Every question she'd raised about Jace's innocence was one he'd already thought of. There was no logical reason to believe his story, but at the same time, she could feel his conviction in his heart. Every piece of his soul believed in Jace's innocence. He believed in so little in this world, so the fact he'd chosen Jace to believe in meant something.
"Bryn?"
She closed her eyes and, after weeks of fighting off the memories, she allowed her mind to return to that night. She succumbed to the horrible images that she'd worked so hard to keep at bay. She put herself back in that moment, when she'd walked out of her office at three in the morning, hating her accounting job, hating her life, hating the empty condo she had to return to. She'd felt so broken, so empty, so sad, still barely surviving in the shadows of her mother's death.
She felt Cash's finger on her cheek, brushing away a tear, and she rested her head on his chest, using him as an anchor while she opened herself up to the pain of that night, the pain she'd tried so hard to ignore. "I wanted to take a short cut to the garage," she said softly. "I knew the alley was going to be abandoned that late at night, but I didn't care. I was tired of being afraid, tired of feeling dead even though I was alive. I knew it was a safe area, and I wanted to be brave enough to walk down a stupid street."
His hands trailed through her hair, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "What were you scared of?"
"My life. Me. How empty I felt. I knew I had to change something, but I didn't know what." She hooked her hands over the waistband of his jeans, letting her knuckles press against the bare skin of his stomach. "I was halfway down the alley when I felt someone's presence, like I was being hunted."
His fingers tightened in her hair, but he said nothing, letting her continue.
"I looked around, but I didn't see anyone." Her heart started to pound again, that cold, dry taste of true fear that had consumed her in that moment. "The streetlight above my head went out. One by one, all the lights in the alley blinked out." Her skin had started to crawl then, and fear had wrapped itself around her spine, terror crawling into her muscles. "I bolted for the nearest door, but it was locked. I knew I had to get out of there, but when I turned to run, I saw the silhouette of a man..."
The image appeared in her mind, and suddenly it became clearer. "No, not a man." God, how had she not remembered until now? It was so clear there had been two men, but the second one had completely vanished from her memory. "There were two, one behind the other, walking toward me. I ducked behind a dumpster, and waited, praying that they hadn't seen me. I didn't remember the second man until now, but he was definitely there."
"Tell me the details." Cash's voice was low. "Sounds. Smells. Temperature."
She pressed her forehead against the solid wall of his chest, trying desperately to remember. For the first time, she wanted to remember, because she wanted to be able to give Cash the information he needed to understand where his loyalties should lie. "It was hot. I was sweating. Humid."
"Wolves rise in temperature before they shift. It can affect the environment sometimes."
She breathed deeply. "It smelled like the deep woods, like fresh earth, even though we were in an alley. I remember thinking that it smelled good." And then... She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to bring the image into her mind. "I heard a woman singing. Her window was open. It was a beautiful song, almost angelic. The man coming toward me paused and looked. He stopped in the light from her window, and that's when I saw his face. I recognized him as Jace Donovan. He's in the paper so much that I knew who he was."
"She was singing?" Cash's fingers continued to work through her hair. "Did you recognize the song?"
"No, but it was beautiful. As she sang, I saw Jace's face began to change. It was his eyes first. They changed from brown to gold." She breathed deeply, opening her mind to that night. "Then his face began to change. He looked wild and feral. His face became more angular, his jaw more defined. It was so fast, the change, that I almost couldn't process it. One second he was a man, and the next moment, he was a wolf, teeth bared, sprinting for the fire escape that led to her apartment, growling. He'd barely shifted and he was already on the move." She squeezed her eyes shut, using Cash's strength to ground herself. "He leapt through the window. The glass shattered, falling all around me, and in my hair. She screamed and leapt out the window, racing down the fire escape to get away from him. He caught her just as she landed in front of me." Her fingers tightened on his jeans. "They were less than a yard from me, Cash. I could see the look on her face when he crushed her throat. It was so ruthless, so brutal, so...God."
She pulled back, looking up at him. "Why, Cash? Why would someone do that?"
"He didn't do it," Cash said quietly. "There's more you're not seeing. Look away from the scene in front of you. What did you hear? What did you see? What was the other man doing?"
"I don't know!" She pushed away, her hands shaking as she relived the woman's horrific death. "He killed her and then shifted again, taking his human form again. He stood over her, staring down at her as he reclaimed his form, just staring at her like—" She stopped, suddenly, recalling the look on his face.
"Like what?"
She looked at Cash. "He looked shocked. He kept looking at the woman, and then his hands, and then back at her, like he was trying to figure out what had happened."
Cash nodded. "Memory lapse can happen during an uncontrolled shift, like when I was younger. What happened next?"
"He ran over to his pants, dug out his phone and called 9-1-1." She sat down on the bed and pulled her knees to her chest. "Then he turned sharply, as if he'd heard something. He looked right at the doorway where the other man had been, but he was gone. He looked up, like he was searching the rooftops, but before he could move, the police cars flooded into the alley. There were five of them, trapping him before he could go anywhere...except he did. He grabbed his clothes, and then went right up the side of the building and disappeared over the roofline."
Cash walked over and knelt beside the bed. "How long did the attack last?"
"Seconds. It was over so fast."
"And yet the cops were there almost instantly. They were already on their way when he called, weren't they? They had to have been."
She frowned, replaying the timing of the events in her mind. "Yes, they were there within a few seconds after he hung up."
"So someone else called before he did. Long enough for five squad cars to get there."
"It could have been anyone," she said, but even as she said it, her mind isolated a click, and a low murmur that she'd heard a split second before Jace had shifted, when only his eyes had changed. "Wait." She sat up, replaying it in her head. "I heard someone call, before Jace shifted. It was a man..." She closed her eyes, willing her mind to recall. "He was reporting a murder," she whispered. She opened her eyes to look at Cash. "A murder that hadn't happened yet."
He swore under his breath and pulled out his phone. He switched to his voice messages and hit play. "Was this his voice?"
A man's voice filled the room, echoing from Cash's phone. "We're going in tonight. Be there at seven." His voice slithered over her skin, the cold dangerous tones that she immediately recognized. It was the same one she'd heard in the hotel, when Cash had taken her out.
She sat up. "That's it. That's the voice I heard. Damien?"
He nodded, hope dancing in his eyes. "Damien reported the woman's murder before Jace had even shifted. What does that tell you?"
"He knew it was going to happen, and he didn't want to stop it. He wanted Jace to do it, and to get caught." She met Cash's gaze. "I think you're right, Cash."
He sank down on the bed next to her, pressing his face to his hands as he rested his elbows on his quads. "Son of a bitch," he said softly. "I thought I was making shit up." His shoulders started to shake. "He's innocent. Jace is innocent."
Bryn wrapped her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder, just like they had so many times before. Cash was a badass, deadly, and lethal, but he still cared so deeply for those few who mattered to him. She decided that she wanted to meet Jace someday, because he had to be quite extraordinary for Cash to believe in him so strongly. "So, what do we do now?" she asked. She knew her testimony would damn Jace, and it wouldn't be enough to implicate Damien. But they had to find an answer by Thursday. It was Christmas Eve day now, and she was on the docket for the day after Christmas.
He palmed her thigh, spreading his fingers across her leg. "I'll have Drake track down the wolves from today. If one of them will testify that Damien forced the others to attack, it's proof he can do it."
"You think they're going to testify that they killed or attacked someone? Never."
He swore under his breath. "They will. To save Jace."
"At the risk of being outed as a murderous werewolf?"
He looked at her. "I would."
Her heart softened, and she ran her hand over his shoulder. "I know you would, Cash. But not everyone is you. And it wouldn't prove he did it this time, either. We need a confession. That's all that will work."
He swore. "We'll never get one. He's smart, Bryn. Extremely smart." He stood up and walked across the room, pacing restlessly. "I believe he knows you were still alive in that comforter. He got too close to me, and he's too fucking good at what he does." He turned to face her. "So what was his plan? Why did he let me take you out of there?"
She knew the answer as soon as he asked it, and she saw from the look on his face that he'd just realized it too. "Because you're the real leader of the pack, not him," she said. "He took Jace out, and you're next. You both have to be gone for him to be the alpha. Those wolves deferred to you at the hotel, not him. If you'd killed me, he would have ended it right then, and implicated you. But since you didn't, he let you go. He's planning something, Cash, something to take you down."
Cash walked over and sat beside her again, taking her hand in his. He began tracing his fingers along the back of her hands, just as he used to when they were teens, and he was working on a problem. She smiled to herself, suspecting that he hadn't even realized he was doing it.
"Killing you would have freed Jace," he said, his voice thoughtful as he continued to rub the back of her hand. "Since he needs Jace out of the picture, either he knew I wasn't going to kill you from the start, or he somehow had a way to still implicate Jace." He swore again, absently tracing circles on her forearm. "What am I missing?" he muttered. "What the hell is his plan?"
Chills ran down her spine from his caresses. Maybe he wasn't aware he was doing it, but she couldn't stop focusing on it. The casual touches that had been such a normal part of their lives back then felt so different now, sensual temptation instead of innocent friendship. She'd had a crush on him before, but now, her feelings were so much more. She couldn't stop thinking of his kisses, of the way it felt to have him touch her, of the stuffed Christmas reindeer sitting on the bed beside her.
Damn it. This was Cash she was fantasizing about, and they were facing a dire situation. It was not the time to think of kisses and seduction. She didn't even know why she was thinking about it... No, she realized. She did know why. It was because she'd been existing in hyper-vigilant mode for the last few months, ever since the attack, always expecting each moment to be her last. She'd been living in fear, haunted by nightmares, afraid of what was coming.
But Cash had taken away that fear. She knew she was safe with him, and because of that, she could think again. She could breathe deeply, revisit that murder with a clear mind, and she could appreciate the fact that she was still alive, and had another moment with the one person who still mattered to her. The truth was that there might not be a way to win, even with Cash on her side.
She might still die, but she wouldn't be alone, because Cash would stand by her and do everything he could to keep her alive.
She suddenly realized Cash was looking at her expectantly, his fingers still moving on her forearm. She grimaced, realizing that he must have asked her something. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?"
He raised his brows. "What were you thinking about?"
She felt her cheeks heat up. "Nothing. Really. What's up?"
"Don't lie to me, babe." He sandwiched her hand between his palms. "Maybe it will help. What were you thinking?"
She looked at his expression, the unequivocal commitment in his eyes. Commitment to Jace, but also to her. Her heart tightened. "Cash," she said quietly. "If Damien is as smart as you say he is, there's no chance that he could have seen your face or heard your voice when you talk about me, and believed you would kill me. He knew you weren't going to kill me from the moment you offered to lead the assassination team."
His brows shot up. "I'm not the inexperienced kid I was when you knew me before, Bryn. I'm very good now, and there's no chance I gave it away."
"Really?" She smiled and ran her finger along his whiskered jaw. "Cash, no one has looked at me like you do. No one has ever loved me as you do. And I've never loved anyone like I love you. There's no chance that you can completely hide that. Drake figured it out—"
"Drake is my friend. He knows me—"
"Damien is your enemy. He has probably made it his job to know you even better."
"He didn't—"
She got up and stood in front of him, letting her hands rest by her sides. "Look at me, Cash. Look at me and tell me that you would kill me to save Jace's life. Say it like your life depended on me believing that you would."
He stared up at her, his green eyes searching hers. "Bryn, this is ludicrous."
"No, it's not." She put her hands on his shoulders, leaning down so she was eye to eye with him. "You don't need to worry about hurting my feelings, because I know I'm safe with you. But I want to see if you can say it in a way that makes me believe it, because if I don't believe you, then Damien didn't either, and that changes things. So say it. Make me believe it. Because I don't think you can."
His eyes darkened, and he grabbed her hips, jerking her toward him until her belly was against his chest. "I don't like this game, Bryn."
"It's not a game." She cupped his face, staring down at him. "Say it, Cash. Say it the way you said it to Damien. I have no doubt you're a badass like you say you are, but I know you better than you know yourself. I know your weaknesses, and I'm one of them."
His fingers tightened on her hips, and his eyes darkened. "I'll kill her," he said, his voice like steel. "I know her. I can get close to her." His eyes were like flint, and a cold chill rippled down her spine. She knew she was seeing the man he'd become, the one who'd had to do terrible things to survive.
"You'd kill a woman?" she asked, challenging him the way she knew Damien would have. "You don't kill."
"I'll kill for Jace." His voice was cold and calm, not looking away from her eyes. "I owe him my life."
His words were cold. His voice was deadly. His eyes were unflinching. But, there was something in his eyes, an emotion buried so deeply that she knew he could never hide it. Tears burned at the back of her eyes. "Cash—"
"Son of a bitch." He bowed his head and pulled her close, burying his face in her belly as he wrapped his arms around her hips, locking her against him. "You're right. I fucking blew it."
She ran her fingers through his hair. "Cash," she said softly. "You've always had a side of you that was more compassionate and more caring than you wanted to believe. That's why we were friends. I couldn't have trusted someone who didn't have a good heart. It's still a part of you. You'll never let that go, and that's okay. We'll figure this out."
He pulled back, searching her face. His face was raw with emotion. It was entirely unguarded, and she was shocked by the vulnerability on his face. Silently, he reached for her, and she went down on her knees in front of him as he framed her face. "My sweet Bryn," he said, his voice rough and ragged. "I needed this. I needed you." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I was so fucking lost in this nightmare world I live in. I didn't even think I was human anymore. I needed you. I needed the way you look at me. The way you touch me. The way you believe in me." His hand slid around to the back of her neck, and his fingers gripped tightly, almost desperately. "I can't do this without you." He took her hand and put it on his chest, over his heart. "I can't do this without you. I don't know how to live, or even exist. You're my light, babe, and I can't do it without you anymore."
Tears filled her eyes. "Oh, Cash, you don't need me. You're so amazing just by being you—"
"No." His fingers tightened around the nape of her neck. "You're my anchor, Bryn. You and no one else." Then, before she had time to react, he pulled her close and sank his mouth down onto hers in a desperate, intense kiss that stripped her of every last defense she had.
It was the kiss she'd been waiting for her whole life.