What did a respectable lady wear to a Red Dead Mayhem party? Oh sure, all hell was breaking loose, but Vina was choosing to ignore it for one day. One day, and then she would pour over the media coverage. One day, and she would figure out exactly what the human population thought of shifters. One day just to enjoy the fun time she was having with Ramsey and the new world he’d introduced her to.

Trouble could wait. Well said. She knew trouble was at her front door, but she didn’t have to let it in until tomorrow.

Today, she just wanted to have another night where she wasn’t alone, eating a TV dinner, and wishing for a crow to land in her tree.

Today had been amazing, and she didn’t want it tainted by the things the public said about the kind of creature she was. No, she wasn’t a runner by nature, but she could ignore the crap out of a problem.

Vina tapped her chin with her pointer finger and puckered out her lips in thought as she surveyed the plethora of ripped-up ho-clothes, as she liked to refer to the garments. She’d laid them all out across her bed in a tiny hoard. Ramsey had explained the clothes looked this way because of the biker culture, which she hadn’t really given much thought to when she’d sent in her application to the matchmaker. She’d focused on “crow.” Not all the stuff that came along with a crow. Which, as it turned out, was a vastly different lifestyle than her current one. Was she going to have to get a tattoo?

There was this black fitted T-shirt, or this one, or this one, or the pink one, or this one over here that was black with silver sparkles. Ramsey had seemed to light up when she’d tried on the silver sparkles one. But she felt a little silly dressing in Harley stuff the first day of ever riding a motorcycle. Plus, he wasn’t the boss of her. Sure, she really really liked the way his face went all thirsty when he looked at her in her new clothes, but she was still herself. So she marched over to the dresser and compromised.

Black skinny jeans from her new haul, but the black sparkly sandals were hers, and so was the plum-purple flowy tank top with the high neck and a ruffle around the collar.

Now she was ready for beer pong, or whatever it was those rough-and-tumble men did at a party.

Her sensitive moose hearing picked up the throaty rumble of the Harley long before Ramsey turned onto her street. She already had the tenor of his motor memorized. Vina settled the long strap of a small purse across her chest and locked the front door. But when she turned to greet him with a wave, he was frowning at the pink lawn chair she’d left in her front yard.

Was this from last night?” he asked as she approached.

“Yes.”

“You waited for me to come?”

She stopped right beside his motorcycle where he stood straddled with both boots on the ground to balance the machine. No use lying to a crow. Birds saw every twitch of a face. They had pinpoint focus and paid attention. “Yes, I waited for you.”

Ramsey scratched his short blond beard with his thumbnail and then crossed his arms. His tattooed biceps pushed out against the thin white cotton material of his T-shirt. His eyes looked so blue as he studied her lawn set-up. “And the beers?”

“You’re making me feel pathetic,” she admitted, dropping her gaze to the spiderweb cracks in the concrete.

“What are the beers for?” he asked again.

“I thought I would see if you wanted to Change and talk to me. Last night. It was nice looking forward to your visits. I got spoiled on them quick.”

“You lonely?”

Vina shrugged. “Isn’t everyone in some way?”

Ramsey searched her eyes, but whatever he was looking for, she hadn’t a guess. “I locked myself in the bathroom last night so I wouldn’t come here.”

“Why did you do that? I felt silly waiting for you out here.”

“I did it because I was trying to spare you.”

“From what?”

Ramsey’s nostrils flared slightly as he inhaled, and then he huffed a sigh. “I was trying to spare you from me.”

“Because you have a mate,” she said low. She’d been too chicken to ask him about it over hot dogs and bison hash at the food trucks. But this was something she did need to know. It would change the course of their relationship. She wasn’t the type of girl to go after another woman’s man.

“I told you she didn’t have me back.”

“Is she still alive?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my gosh.” She shook her head over and over as thoughts tumbled around in her head. “I had convinced myself she was dead, that you were a widower, because that’s the only thing that made sense. Crows mate for life,” she said, wanting to retch on those words because that was why she was here, and he’d already given his animal to another.

“True. I am stuck with her.”

“Then why are you even here?”

“Because a selfish part of me wishes to be stuck with someone else.”

Ache consumed her heart, and with the wave of pain, she took a step back. That answer felt like a blow to her heart.

“I have a mate, but I didn’t matter the same to her,” he murmured, settling the motorcycle on the kickstand.

“What do you mean?” The air was so thick now she was having trouble dragging in a good breath.

“You said you weren’t a runner.”

“But I didn’t matter to someone else, Ramsey. I don’t want to do that again. I don’t want to be a replacement. Or second-place mate. Or some sick way to fill a void. I want to be the main event!” Okay, she was panicking.

Ramsey looked pissed. “Get on the motorcycle, Vina.”

“Screw you, Ram. I’m not here to mind you. I was here to bond, nothing more.”

“Nothing more? Nothing more!” he barked, dismounting the bike and stalking her step for step. “It’s day one, and you’re asking for everything.”

“Wrong! It’s day four. I’ve been talking to your crow all week! Investing my time already. And I was hopeful, Ram!”

He ticked his head, and his eyes turned the color of the night sky as he approached with deliberate steps. “Hope is a slippery slope, Vina.”

“Stop right there!” She held out her hand. “I can’t think. I can’t think,” she murmured. “Wait. Just…stay back. Stay there.”

“Why?”

“Because when you get close to me, my head gets all messed up.”

“You mean cloudy? Where you can’t think about anything but what I’m saying? About my voice or every expression my face makes. Like that?”

“Yes,” she said on a breath.

“That’s big. So no, I ain’t gonna let you push me away over something I can’t do anything about. Get on the motorcycle!”

“I don’t want to go to the party.”

“Me either. You know what tonight is? It ain’t a party, Vina. It’s a celebration of life.”

“What is that?”

“A funeral. And I don’t want to fuckin’ do it. I don’t. I have to say goodbye to one of my people, and I’ve buried so many lately. So many. And do you know what that does to an Alpha? It guts him little by little. You know what else destroys an Alpha?”

“No.”

“A broken mating bond, Vina.” He swallowed hard, and his pitch-black eyes pleaded with her as he repeated softly, “A broken mating bond.” He sighed. “Day four. Okay, we’ll count the nights you’ve spent with The Crow because this week I was actually able to think about something else other than the fucked-up hole I dug myself into. And I don’t want to do this funeral without you. You’re fun, and light, and you have this energy about you that feeds the darkness in me, makes it less…needy.”

“That’s not fair on me,” she whispered. “I’m not just here to feed you.”

“I know. So let me show you something before you shut that door on me. Let me take you somewhere I never thought I would take anyone. Somewhere I hate, but I think you need to see it to see me.”

“Okay. But…we’ll be late to the celebration of life.”

He huffed a sigh and closed the space between them. He didn’t do the knight-in-shining-armor move most men would. He didn’t do the romantic thing. He didn’t hug her tight to his chest and kiss her until she forgot about the red flags and sirens going off in her head.

Instead, he pushed her back against her front door and rested his forehead against hers, gripping her shirt so tight it tugged the material lower. “You should know I’m not okay. Not even a little bit.”

“Don’t apologize,” she whispered, closing her eyes and pressing her palms against his taut chest.

“If you can’t get it in your head to be with a mated crow…I can’t blame you. It ain’t like with other shifters, and there will be times when you will feel like second place. And I fuckin’ hate it, but this is all I have until the broken bond ruins me.”

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“I thought I would never get Ten out of my head,” he whispered low. “Not even for a second. And then you came along, and you gave me that, too.”

“Gave you what.”

“Hope.”

Ooooh. Perhaps this was why she was here. Everything happened for a reason, and she’d been waiting and paying attention, wondering when she would figure out her place in his story. Perhaps this was the role she was supposed to play in his life. She was here for the hope of a crow. But Vina wanted more. She wanted so much more, and he couldn’t give it.

So all this would be was friendship.

Friendship.

That word hurt so bad.

She’d wanted a mate to only see her, and what had she done? Fallen for a man who could only see another.

But he wasn’t okay. He was asking for help, and what did she have to lose now? She could reach behind her, open the door, and let herself into her house and out of his life. Or she could be the light for his darkness until he flew away. Because he would. He’d said the bond would ruin him, and she knew about broken mating bonds. She knew about ruin. She’d been gutted, too.

Vina threw her arms around his neck and held on tight, even when he tried to ease away. “Stop it, Ram. This is all I get. This is the moment everything changes, and I want to hug a man I was starting to like before I have to pull my heart off him.”

“Stop talking like that. That’s not how things work. You said you were a tough girl.”

“I am. You’ll see now when I have to make myself see you as only a friend. My light isn’t going to taste as good anymore.”

Ramsey slid his arms around her ribs and crushed her to him, but there was no romantic kiss. Instead, he growled in her ear. “It’ll taste better.” And then he released her so fast she stumbled forward.

Ramsey strode to his bike, running his hand through his blond hair, and didn’t look back. He was leaving it up to her to follow. Breath shaking, she made her way after him. And when she reached him, he had his gaze averted to the handlebars of his bike, but in his hand was offered her helmet. Another choice. Take it, or don’t.

Vina gave one last look at her house…at sanctuary…at a safe place for her heart, but she was more reckless since she’d met Ramsey, and she took the helmet from him. And when she got on the motorcycle behind him, he slid his hand onto her thigh, keeping her steady as he straightened out the bike. That touch…

His hand was so warm on her leg, and here in this moment, her heart felt very unsafe, but the rest of her reached for him. And losing her mind completely, she slid her arms around his waist and laid a tiny kiss on the indentation of his spine, right between the flexed muscles of his back.

If he noticed, he didn’t react. He only put his hands on the bars and gunned it away from her house. She didn’t know where they were going, and as the wind whipped at her cheeks, she didn’t really care. Her eyes burned with tears she wouldn’t ever let fall because he shouldn’t apologize for this part of himself—the part that had fallen in love with someone else and got stuck.

She knew all about that.