Chapter Twenty-Two
Macgrath
I’d been awake for a while but I didn’t want to move.
Ava’s body was pressed against mine and her face was buried in my throat. Her slow, warm breaths brushed my skin. Once I’d pulled her against me last night, she’d settled in and gone immediately to sleep. It hadn’t taken me long to join her.
She remained motionless except her hand. She began the night gripping my waist but eventually her fist relaxed and her palm moved up to rest over my heart.
I woke as the first rays of the sun came over the horizon and I was more content than I’d ever been in my life.
In this moment, in this bed, we felt like the only two people in the world.
As dawn lightened the sky, Rhiannon didn’t exist, my forgotten, cursed past was no longer an issue. All that mattered was the woman I held in my arms.
I wanted to hold onto this serenity for as long as I could. There had been precious little in my past and I doubted there would be much in my future if I couldn’t convince Ava to remain with me.
She shifted. I felt the heat between her legs against my thigh as she moved closer and dropped her calf between my knees. She sucked in a deep breath and the expansion of her lungs crushed her breasts against my side.
My dick hardened as she sighed, a small sound escaping her mouth. She stretched slowly, rubbing against me in a sinuous motion, and I bit back a groan.
My contentment morphed into something far more visceral. My hand clamped down on her hip in an effort to hold her still as she made another sound, this one far throatier.
Each movement of her body, each sound she made, was another slice in the bonds of my self-control.
“Macgrath?” she murmured.
Her voice was low and husky with sleep. She sounded sexy as hell.
Her body shifted restlessly and her smooth inner thigh slid along my leg. As she moved, I could sense her arousal. For vampires and shifters, all emotions had a scent. The changes in hormones and pheromones were too minute for the human nose to identify but I could smell them. It was a delicious scent in the air, an invitation to do more than hold her body against mine.
The hand resting against my heart flattened on my chest and slid downward over my abdomen. I grasped her wrist before her fingers could make their way beneath the waistband of my shorts.
“Ava, you need to stop.”
She made that damn sound again and her thigh nudged my dick as she moved once more. It was tempting to just give in and let her touch me however she liked. To take what she was offering me.
But I didn’t want her this way. I wanted her to reach for me with both eyes open, not half asleep and drowsy. At least not the first time.
Her head tilted and her nose brushed the underside of my jaw before she spoke. “I don’t want to,” she whispered.
I felt the movement of her lips against my jawbone and ground my teeth together. The witch was determined to test my ability to remain in control this morning. She tried to twist her wrist out of my grip but I refused to release her.
“You’re half asleep and you don’t know what you’re doing.” My voice sounded strained, even to my own ears.
She laughed and the sound was wicked and velvety in my ear. I couldn’t contain the groan that rose in my throat. Ava laughed again just before her teeth nipped my ear.
“If I’m sleeping, I don’t want to wake up,” she said. “I love it when I have these dreams.”
Her hand wiggled out of my hold and dipped beneath the waistband of my shorts as she spoke. As her fingers curled around my dick, it took me a second to process her words.
It hurt to do it, but I tugged her hand away from my cock and rolled us so that she lay beneath me. When she lifted her other arm, I captured that wrist as well, pinning them both above her head with one hand.
“What dreams?” I asked, staring down at her. Her golden hair streamed across the pillow and her cheeks were pink from arousal and sleep. I wanted to nip her bottom lip and breathe her in, but I stayed focused on my question. I had to know if she was dreaming of me as often as I was dreaming of her.
“I dream of you,” she replied, her eyes heavy-lidded as they met mine. “Only your hair is longer and the way you look at me is so different from the way you usually do…” she trailed off. Drowsiness faded from her face. “You look at me as though I’m the center of your universe.”
My hands tightened on her wrists. She winced and I released her suddenly, sitting back on my calves and staring down at her.
Ava propped herself up on her elbows and her gaze sharpened as she came fully awake. “I’m not the only one having dreams, am I?” she asked.
I shook my head, staring at her with my heart lodged in my throat. All the emotions and thoughts that had swamped me last night returned, only they didn’t take control. They existed in unison with the rest of my feelings.
I understood now. Ava was more than a witch, more than my mate. She had something to do with my past. That was why Kerry mentioned fate.
Ava and I suffered from the same curse. We were familiar to one another. And we dreamed of each other.
The fact that I hadn’t come to the realization before now was disturbing. I’d known her in the past. We’d been together before we were both cursed.
It was possible that we had been cursed at the same time.
As we stared at one another, I knew she had come to the same conclusion.
“When did you know?” I asked.
She sat up and curled her legs beneath her. “I had my suspicions last night, but I wasn’t a hundred percent certain.”
“We knew each other before we were cursed,” I stated.
Ava nodded and reached for the bottle of water I’d left on the night table. “I think so. I don’t remember much. Just what I’ve seen in dreams and a few flashes of insight.” She took a long drink from the bottle and held it out to me. I accepted it and did the same. “I think heightened emotional state affects the hold the curse has on us.”
“Heightened emotional state?” I asked as I took one more drink of water and handed the bottle back.
Ava recapped it and set it back on the table. “Yes. Every time either of us has remembered something, we’ve been angry or turned on. The magic is weakened then and I think it’s the key to breaking the curse.”
My eyes narrowed. She couldn’t mean what I thought. “What is the key to breaking the curse?”
She rose up on her knees, bringing her body closer to mine. Her hands rested on my chest and her eyes locked onto mine, intense and sincere.
“Our emotions. And while anger seems to work, I’d much rather use other methods to rile you up.” Her fingers trailed from my chest, down my abdomen, to the tops of my thighs. Ava flattened her palms against my legs and her fingers dug lightly into the muscles.
My dick went hard again, not only because of the way she touched me but because of the look in her eyes.
And it was a nightmare.
Ava was my mate. If I fucked her, I would bite her. If I bit her, I would never be able to let her go. I could see the chain of events unfolding in my mind’s eye and it terrified me because I could lose the slim chance I had of winning her heart and soul.
She would never forgive me if I forced her to become mine. I didn’t know her well, but I did recognize how important independence was to her.
I reached down to lift her hands from my body, but she narrowed her eyes at me.
“I can’t,” I said simply. There were dozens of excuses and explanations on the tip of my tongue, but none that would ring true. The ring she wore would show the veracity of my words.
Her palms turned over so she could interlace our fingers together, but she didn’t look frustrated or angry. Her expression was knowing and almost expectant.
“Why?” she asked.
I wanted her to trust me and I was once again reminded that the only way I could achieve that was to lay it all out and let her make the choice. I couldn’t force her to feel what I felt or to want me as I wanted her.
“Because if I have you, I’ll never be able to release you. I’ll fuck you, bite you, and bind you to me in every way I can.”
Ava pulled her hand free of my grasp and cupped my cheek. “Why?” she asked once again.
The look in her eyes gave me hope. It was as if she already knew my answer but she wanted to hear me say it out loud.
“Because you’re my mate.”
I spoke the words softly but I knew she heard them because her lips parted.
“This is why I love the dreams,” she said abruptly. She tugged her other hand from mine and laid her palm against my other cheek. “Because this is the way you look at me when we’re together. Like you’re dying to touch me, to devour me. It makes me feel… cherished.”
I surged forward, our bodies colliding as I took her down to the bed. I cradled her head in my hands and kissed her. She was right, I did want to devour her. To consume every bit of her and carry her with me always.
Lifting my head, I stared down at her. “You are cherished,” I murmured.
Her eyes were serious as she looked up at me. “I don’t want you just to break the curse.” She paused after she spoke then shook her head slightly. “That came out wrong. What I mean is that I want you, not because this will probably break my curse, and yours, but because of you.”
I kissed her again, tasting her. My fangs elongated and I was careful not to cut her with them. I wanted to keep my sanity. If I tasted her blood, any semblance of control would vanish and I would take what I wanted without finesse or gentleness.
We were both breathing hard when I released her mouth again. “I won’t be satisfied with just your body, Ava,” I stated. “If you aren’t willing to give me that, I have to know now. We are more than one night. We are everything.”
Though her lips were swollen and I could hear the swift thud of her heart in her chest, Ava stared up at me with somber eyes. “I can’t promise you my heart, Macgrath. I’m not sure it’s capable of more than affection. In all these years, I’ve never loved a man.” When I started to withdraw, she wrapped her hand around the back of my neck. “Hey, don’t pull away from me. Let me finish what I’m trying to say. I can’t promise you my heart, but I can promise you that I’ll try. I’m open to the idea. I feel things with you I haven’t felt before and I want to see where that takes us. I want more than your body too, Ewan.”
Her words filled me with hope. Hope that I would no longer be alone in this world, that my mate wouldn’t reject me.
I wanted to show her how much her words meant to me. I straightened, my hands moving from her cheeks, down her shoulders and chest, and over her abdomen to the hem of her shirt.
I lifted the thin cotton, revealing her slim torso. Inch by inch, her pale skin was bared. When I reached her breasts, the edges of my thumbs brushed over her hard nipples. She gasped and shivered, as though even that small touch affected her as strongly as if affected me.
Ava’s arms lifted as I gathered the material and pulled it up and over her head. A moment later, she was naked from the waist up. And she was even more beautiful than in my dreams.
Her shoulders were narrow and her collarbones were delicate. I worried for a moment that I could hurt her. Break her. Her breasts were full and rounded, and I could see the pattern of her blue veins beneath her pale skin. I wanted to lick and suck her rosy pink nipples before sinking my fangs into one of those veins.
I traced a finger from the flutter of the pulse in her neck, over a collarbone, and down between her breasts. She sucked in a deep breath as I dragged my fingertip over her stomach and down to the waistband of her shorts.
Hooking a finger into the side of the sleep shorts, I reached out with my other hand and tugged them down, groaning when I realized she wasn’t wearing underwear beneath them.
As I knelt over her, Ava reached up and grasped a fistful of my shirt, yanking it up and off my body with surprising strength. I was forced to release her shorts and lift my arms because she tugged so hard.
My heart pounded in my chest from the need that roared through me. Her enthusiasm pushed me to the edge of reason. Taking a deep breath, I resumed the slow slide of the fabric down her legs until the sleep shorts were completely removed from her body.
As her fingers tangled in the elastic of my shorts, I grabbed her hands and pulled them away from my body. She shifted restlessly as I stared down at her naked body.
“Ewan?” she asked. When I didn’t respond, she tried to pull her wrists from my hold. “Let me touch you.”
“Just…” I swallowed hard because the desire to bite her somewhere, anywhere, on that pale body was overwhelming. “Just let me look at you. I don’t want to rush.”
Her half-hearted struggles ceased and she lay still before me. As my eyes moved over her breasts, her nipples hardened further, and when my gaze stopped on her pussy, her thighs pressed together as she shifted.
I released her wrists and reached down to spread her legs. I angled my body between them. Her hands lifted to my shoulders, running over my arms and chest as though she wanted to touch every part of my body she could reach.
I hesitated then, worried that I wouldn’t be able to hold back, that I might hurt her. Ava’s hands touched my cheeks, bringing my attention back to her face.
“Touch me, Ewan,” she demanded. “And let me touch you. This is about the two of us and what we make together.”
When I still hesitated, she lifted up and put her lips on mine. She nipped my bottom lip and dipped her tongue into my mouth, moaning as she tasted me.
All thoughts of gentleness and savoring her body fled my mind. I needed to taste her. All of her.
I sank into the darkness, drowning in her. I would take what she offered and more.
I would take it all.