Seventeen
Gunnar
You’re fooling yourself, Gunnar. You think you’re breaking away from me, but you’re only making it that much easier.
“Oh, yeah?” I put my hands on my temples. “Then why aren’t you here right now, motherfucker? The more you tell me I’m losing, the more I know I’m not.”
Laughter. His scraggly voice sent goosebumps down my back. I crouched low, scanning through the trees. Dammit, the Alpha did sound closer this time. It was an illusion though. It had to be. Why wouldn’t he just send the Pack to grab me?
Gunnar, it’ll be quick. I promise. Don’t you know you were born for this? Why do you think it hurts so much when you fight?
I was on my hands and knees, digging my fingers into the ground. He wanted me to shift. Oh, God. I could feel the command as if it were part of me. Like breathing. I reached out with my right hand. My vision wavered and my nails turned to claws. My heart beat like I hammer. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t controlling the shift.
“No!” I shouted, rising. My voice echoed off the trees. “Can’t. Won’t. No!”
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t breathe. I felt the Pack closing in. They were right beside me. We moved together. No. That couldn’t be it. I was safe. They didn’t know this place. I couldn’t let them see.
No! This time, when I tried to form words, only my wolf’s growl came out. He was winning. I was losing. This wasn’t me. I stumbled to the ground. He couldn’t control me if I wasn’t conscious, could he? It was the only thing I could think of. While I still had control of my limbs, I launched myself at the nearest tree, head down.
The world exploded in light and pain, then went mercifully dark.
I floated through the stars, weightless. Something pulled at my middle. A drum beat inside my head. No. Not a drum. It was my heart. Her heart.
“Gunnar!” Her voice opened me up, hitting me in the chest like a beam of light. Then, that beam turned solid. It became a tether. I felt my hands, my feet, my bones. When I moved, I willed it this time.
“Gunnar,” she said again, softer. Hot rain fell on my cheek. I tried to open my eyes. It wasn’t rain at all.
The scent of Jett’s hair filled my lungs. She smelled soft and clean from the lake. Agony enveloped me, but I managed to open my eyes. Bright sun. Soft tears. Jett’s brown eyes widening in shock. She was solid, warm, real.
“Gunnar?” she said again. She put a hand to her lips and squeezed her eyes shut in relief. Another of her tears hit my forehead.
“Baby,” I whispered, reaching for her. I’d never called her that before, but it felt right. She clasped my hand and held it against her breast. Desire flared through me, anchoring me to myself. A wall went up when she touched me. No. It was more like a shield. Far in the distance, I heard the Alpha’s voice, but this time I couldn’t make out any of the words. He couldn’t get through.
“Jett?” I said. I was fully awake now. Pain slammed into me where I’d driven my skull into the oak tree. Maybe that hadn’t been the greatest idea I’d ever had.
Jett smoothed the hair out of my eyes. She sat with my head cradled in her lap and her back braced against the tree. “Your eyes,” she said, sniffling. “Gunnar, your eyes.”
I blinked. My vision blurred for a second, then came sharply into focus. My eyes seemed all right.
“How long?” Jett asked. I struggled to get up. She kept a firm grasp on my hand, but shifted position until we sat facing each other.
It was in me to lie to her or downplay what was really going on. Instinct told me if I didn’t come clean, I’d lose her forever. I also knew the truth might bring the same result.
“The night before you busted me out of Camp Hell,” I said.
“The Alpha,” she said quietly.
“Yes,” I answered. “Valent. His name is Able Valent.”
“He tried to turn you.” Jett sucked in a great breath of air as she braced herself for my answer. She’d trusted me enough to bring me here. I knew she had to be rethinking that now. Anyone would. I owed her honestly. Hell, I owed her my life such as it was.
“Yep,” I said. “At least, that’s what he wants me to think. I can hear him in my head sometimes. But it’s like...he can’t close the deal. Or he doesn’t want to. He’s waiting for something.”
Jett wiped the tears beneath her eyes and straightened her back. “Does he know where you are?”
I shook my head. “No. At least, I don’t think so.”
She sucked in her bottom lip and looked skyward. “You know if Vera finds out about this, she’s liable to kill you. She said something. She said maybe the reason the Pack hasn’t come yet is because they’re waiting for something. Do you think they’re waiting for you to turn?”
“Maybe I should let her kill me.” My voice went hollow.
“No!” Jett’s startled both of us with the ferocity with which she said the word.
“It’s safe,” I said. “For now. He can’t get in. I keep fighting him off.”
“You don’t think he’s holding back just to toy with you?”
It was a good question. I couldn’t really come up with a way to explain it to her, except I knew it wasn’t true. “I think he’s been trying to turn me all along. I keep pushing back. Or at least...he realizes that if he does turn me, I won’t be much good to him.”
“How can you be sure?”
I reached for her, curving a hand around her jaw, I threaded my fingers through her hair. Jett was soft and strong all at once. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“I think I have to hear it.”
My heart thundered inside of me. I knew it bled through to hers. One heartbeat. One pulse. The truth had been staring the both of us in the face for days. Neither of us had dared to give voice to it. Now was the time.
“You,” I said. “You’re the reason he can’t get in.”
“Me?”
I took her hand and placed it against my chest where she could feel my heartbeat the strongest. No, that wasn’t true. I knew there was another place she could feel it even more. I put my hand on her chest.
Jett let out a hard breath. Her tears welled again. The truth was right there. I knew she could feel it just as much as I could. But, she was afraid. I wanted to tear apart every wolf who had made her believe the worst. The Pack wasn’t who we were. They did not live the way we were supposed to.
This. This was real. True. Right.
“Gunnar,” she said, breathless. “I’m scared.”
“I know. I am too. But, I swear to you, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never touch you without…”
“I want you to touch me. That’s what scares me.”
I lifted my hand from her and let her go. This had to be her choice. Though I was desperate for her to make it, I would never force it. I would die. I would even give in to the Alpha’s subjugation before I laid a finger on this woman she didn’t want. And yet, in her was my own salvation. I knew it. I breathed it. I’d told her the truth. My connection to Jett was real and strong. It was supposed to make me the Alpha I was born to be.
Jett went up on her knees. We both seemed to hover in midair for one heartbeat, then another. Desire raced through me. She was so close. So sweet. Hunger gripped me, churning my insides. My vision flared bright as my inner wolf came to the surface. She saw it in my eyes, I knew. I could never hide it from her.
“I want…” she said. Then, Jett’s own desire washed over her and she was beyond words. I held my hands to my sides, curling them into fists to keep from reaching for her. I wanted to so badly. I wanted to slide my hands around her waist and pull her to me. The slope of her hips, the curve of her round ass, those ample tits with perfect nipples. I wanted to own all of it and give her pleasure unlike anything she’d ever known. I’d make her body sing for me. Spread her open and make her beg for my touch.
All the blood in my body surged straight to my cock. I was rock hard, bursting at the seams. And yet, I found the strength to stay still.
Jett put a tentative hand on my chest. She traced the lines of my tattoo as if she was seeing it for the first time. I dug my fists into my thighs. I would not move. I would not take what she hadn’t yet offered. Slowly, I got up off my knees and stood before her. Jett rose with me.
Her eyes flicked to mine. Her pupils widened and her lips parted. The faint, tiny hairs covering her body stood on end as she pulsed with desire. Her nipples peaked beneath her black tank top. It clung to her like a second skin and I could see the outline of her areolas through the fabric. I wanted to tear it from her, tease her with my tongue. My mouth watered as I envisioned it.
She stepped back, her eyes raking over me. I knew what she saw. I stood with every muscle corded, my cock pulsing with need. I watched her with my wolf eyes and to her they would glint silver. She knew exactly what I was.
Jett grew bold. She came to me. I stayed still as a statue as she reached for the button on my jeans. With her eyes locked on mine, she worked the zipper and peeled away the tattered denim. My cock sprang free and Jett gasped at the size of it. Her lips trembled; her body glistened with a thin sheen of sweat.
I moved only to step out of my jeans. Though I wanted to touch her, I didn’t. I let her take control. She put both hands flat against my chest and went up on her tiptoes. Tilting her head to one side, she offered me her mouth. I leaned into the kiss but kept my hands at my sides, though it killed me not to embrace her.
Jett groaned as I darted my tongue inside her mouth. She was hot, inviting. I fantasized about how it would feel when she used that mouth on me.
Jett pulled away, gasping, her cheeks flushed. She ran her hands down my biceps, over my hips, then stepped around me. She touched my shoulder, trailed her fingers across my back, cupped my ass, then worked her way back around until she faced me.
“Are you mine?” she asked, cocking her head to the side. It wasn’t a tease. I knew she was trying to understand.
“Yes,” I said, my voice ragged and raw. Desire clouded my vision, but not my judgment. The Alpha could get in my head. Being with Jett drove him away.
“Fated mates,” she said.
I clenched my jaw hard and nodded. “Yes.” God, I wanted her so badly. Had I kissed her again, pulled her to me, I knew she would have given in to it. I could feel her own lust making her knees weak.
But this was more than just sex. I needed it like the air in my lungs, but I couldn’t undo it if we went any further.
“You draw strength from it?” she asked.
I moved. Jett’s lips parted and she drew in a breath. Hard as it was...hard as I was, I knew this wasn’t the right time. She wasn’t ready. I reached down and pulled up my jeans. They chafed as I zipped them around my erection.
I went to her finally, circling my hands around her wrists. I kissed each palm. “Yes,” I said. “I draw strength from it. Being with my mate...with you...is part of my nature. Submitting to Able Valent isn’t.”
“What happens if we...if you…”
I finally did kiss her. Though both of our hearts and bodies clamored for more, this would have to be enough for now. At least until I knew I could keep her safe.
“Jett!” Vera’s shout cut through the air. I smoothed Jett’s hair away from her face.
“You should go,” I said. “I’m all right now.”
Nodding, she stepped out of my arms, her breasts still heaving with the desire heating her blood.
“Stay with me, Gunnar Cole,” she said.
Smiling, I gave her a salute. “I’m not going anywhere.” I only hoped it was a promise I could keep.