“I’ll visit you every Saturday,” Kelly Garner said as she neatly folded her blanket and set it at the end of the top bunk of the bunk-bed.
“I don’t care if you don’t,” said her cellmate, Amara Justice Dixon known simply as A.J. to everyone but the government. Without looking up from the book she was reading in bed, the slender, dark-skinned girl added, “You’ll have a lot to do on the outside anyway.”
“But I won’t be too busy to come and see you.” Unaffected by her friend’s cold attitude, Kelly continued, “And I’ll be waiting for you at the gate when you get out too.”
“You don’t have to do that either,” A.J. retorted coolly. “I can take the bus.”
Kelly smiled sadly. “But you won’t have to.”
As elated as Kelly was to finally ditch this tiny cubicle that she’d called home for slightly over a year, she was also sad for her friend. In the beginning there were three of them; Kelly, A.J. and Tamsin ‘Sin’ Jacob. Or ‘The Untouchables’ as the inmates in their block liked to call them. Sin had been released first. Now, it was Kelly’s turn. Unfortunately, A.J. still had nine months to go on her sentence. The coldness was just her way of dealing with the fact that she was now all alone in here.
“Is there anything specific you want me to bring when I come to visit?” Kelly sat at the foot of her friend’s bed. “Maybe some of that conditioner you like?”
A.J. didn’t look up from her book. “It’s hard to find. And expensive.”
“You’re worth the money.” Kelly tapped her friend’s leg. “I’ll miss you.”
Though A.J. didn’t say anything, she lowered her book. When her eyes met Kelly’s, they were almost blank. Almost. But within them was a shadow of sadness that even she couldn’t mask. She sighed. “Don’t miss me. Just forget about me and enjoy your freedom.”
“Stop saying stupid things.” Kelly slapped her friend’s leg. “How am I supposed to forget you when we already made a pact?”
“That was you and Sin.” A.J. made a face. “You know I don’t do that shit!”
“You do now.” Kelly smiled. “I’ll be waiting for you on the outsi-”
“Kelly.” A guard drew her attention to the cell’s door. “It’s time.”
“Okay.” Kelly stood up and picked up the small duffel bag that held the sum of her life in this cell. Knowing that A.J. didn’t like physical intimacy, Kelly only offered a soft, “Bye, A.J.”
She was surprised when A.J. vaulted off the bed and dragged her into her arms for a tight hug. A.J. whispered in Kelly’s ear. “Be safe.”
Kelly smiled and patted her friend’s back. “You too.”
An hour later, Kelly was on the bus headed to freedom.
It was just a yellow bus but for the women in it, it was freedom personified. That yellow bus was the ticket to a new life, free of the mistakes they’d made in their previous life. Silently, the women inside the bus watched the electric fence fly past them. Behind that electric fence, several still-caged convicts watched the passing bus with longing, praying that one day their turn would come too.
The yellow bus rumbled to a stop a few feet from the high black gates that marked the prison’s official exit. The gates swung backwards and opened. Beyond those gates, freedom beckoned. With a lurch, the bus started again and cruised past the open gates and out into the real world.
Ah, freedom! Kelly stuck her head out the window, closed her eyes and dragged in a deep gulp of air. Whoa, even the air smells different.
It smelt fresher, brighter … freer. Or was it just her? She turned to glance at her fellow ex-convicts. Most of them were also staring out the window; many were smiling. Grinning, Kelly turned back to stare out her own window.
How long had she waited and prayed for this day? She’d been incarcerated once before when she was much younger but it hadn’t been as long or even half as grueling as this round had been. Maybe if she was really here because of something she did, her stay wouldn’t have felt so unfair or so difficult to bear.
A year and a half ago, she’d gone out with her best-friend and classmate, Claire Ingram, to celebrate passing the bar and receiving an offer from one of the top firms in the city. She’d expected to enjoy her night, maybe have a drink or two with her best-friend then head back home early so she wouldn’t be late for work the next day.
She didn’t expect to end up in a VIP room with Claire’s cousin, Jonas, and his rich friends. She didn’t expect to end up passed out on one of the plush couches after just one drink. She didn’t expect to wake up with her clothes rumpled as if someone had tried to take them off. And she certainly didn’t expect to be holding a broken, bloody vodka bottle while Claire’s dead body lay draped on the couch next to hers.
Honest to God, Kelly didn’t do it. She was a lot of things, but a murderer wasn’t one of them. And besides, this was Claire. Her best-friend, the woman who’d befriended her even though she came from one of the wealthiest families in the city. The two of them had supported each other through so much stuff in the last six years; from break-ups to family deaths, financial issues to relationship troubles. Kelly would never have hurt Claire, let alone killed her. But her word wasn’t good enough for the jury, especially because she couldn’t even remember what had happened that night. Sure, drugs had been found in her system, but the prosecution had quickly dismissed it as self-administered.
Even worse, the prosecution had somehow snuck in the fact that she was the daughter of Jesse Gardner, the surgeon who’d gotten his medical license suspended because he was using his skills to illegally treat criminals. And finally to ice the cake, they’d also unsealed her juvie records. A criminal father and a history of assault? Murder was just the next step in her criminal career, the prosecution had said. The jury had agreed.
Fifteen years. She got fifteen bloody years for something she didn’t do.
Though she kept appealing the verdict, it had felt like a hopeless endeavor. Often it felt like her captivity would last forever and she was wasting her energy working and praying for release. If it wasn’t for her father, Jesse, she would’ve given up hope and this day likely would never have happened.
The thought of Jesse was enough to make Kelly’s smile fade. Jesse had worked so hard to get her out of here and yet he wasn’t even around to celebrate it with her.
No, no. She shook her head, trying to dispel her sad thoughts. Her father would want her to be happy right now. She forced a smile, but it didn’t last long. How could it?
Jesse was dead.
As the bus edged closer to their stop, Kelly spotted a crowd of people waiting for their loved ones. Even from this distance, she could see their smiles, hear their excited chatter, taste their relief. Finally, they’d get to see their loved ones without bars between them or guards watching them with hawk eyes. Kelly knew that someone would be waiting for her too - but it wouldn’t be Jesse.
The bus came to a creaky stop and the uniformed guards seated at the back and front of the bus stood up.
The heavy-set, female guard at the front announced, “Okay ladies, you know how we do this. Single file to the door, the people at the front first, no pushing or shoving. I’ll take off your chains once you’re at the door.”
The guard continued, “Jacob will hand you your stuff when you get off the bus. Once everyone’s out of the bus, you can meet your family members. If you don’t have anyone coming to meet you, wait at the side of the bus. Another bus will be coming in a couple of minutes to take you into the city. Clear?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” the ex-cons answered in subdued tones.
As instructed, the ladies began to move towards the door in a line. When it was Kelly’s turn, she stood and followed the slender woman in front of her. The chains binding her wrists and ankles jangled noisily as she shuffled to the bus’s door. Once she was out of the bus, she stuck her hands out. The guard’s keys jingled as she pressed them into the lock of the chains. Seconds later, the chains fell off.
Relief like Kelly had never felt before pulsed through her. Tears in her eyes, she watched the guard unlock her ankle chains. Eventually, those fell off too.
“Jacob has your stuff.” The guard waved her off.
Kelly didn’t have much – just a duffel bag with a few clothes, her wallet that had two hundred dollars and a box containing all the legal documents she’d accumulated during her time as a guest of the state.
It was only once all the ex-cons were out of the bus and their chains were off that their family and friends were allowed to rush over. It was fascinating how varied the reactions to the ex-cons’ release were. In some cases it was excitement, smiles, happy tears and hugs. In others it was anger or embarrassment as if they still hadn’t forgiven the person for betraying them. And yet in some cases it was resignation and boredom as if this wasn’t the first time they were doing this and they didn’t expect it to be the last.
Kelly craned her neck as she scanned the faces in the crowd looking for Sin who’d promised to pick her up on her release. Unfortunately, the lady was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Kelly searched the crowd again, hoping that she’d just missed her friend. Her gaze swept past several people, then back again, past a familiar face, then back agai-
Kelly stiffened as her gaze swung back to that familiar face. Their eyes met and held.
She was dreaming, right? This was just a nightmare, right? There was no way that man was standing just a few feet from the rest of the crowd. He wasn’t here. No way. He wasn’t callous enough to show his face here after everything he’d done. Some people saw ghosts or zombies in their nightmares. She saw him; Spencer Chambers. He was the face of her nightmares.
She closed her eyes and rubbed them hoping what she was seeing was just a mirage. When she opened her eyes, Spencer was still there.
This was no nightmare.
It’d been a couple of months since they’d last seen each other but Spencer hadn’t changed much. If he hadn’t chosen to be a lawyer, he would’ve done well as a model or an actor. He had the right height and his physique was more athletic than heavily built. As if his excellent physique wasn’t enough, he had a face that was a sobering reminder that the worst people sometimes came with the prettiest faces. His dark brown hair was tousled as if he’d run his fingers through it several times, and yet he still managed to look as sexy as ever. Heavy eyebrows shadowed dark, sharp eyes that seemed to pierce right into the heart of the person he was staring at.
The only thing that had changed about him was his expression. Even now, she still remembered his sneer as he’d watched her plead her innocence. She still remembered his derisive tone as he’d pronounced that all criminals always claim to be innocent. Smugly, he’d advised her to stop wasting the court’s time and resources, plead guilty and take his ten-years offer before he took it off the table. Even now, she could still hear his contemptuous chuckle when she’d refused his offer. And how could she forget the self-satisfied smirk he’d given her in court when the jury had declared her guilty?
His expression now was a far cry from that time. There were no smirks or sneers today. Regret shadowed his dark eyes as he watched her. His face was unsmiling, hard and etched with the guilt. His shoulders were slumped as if heavy with the weight of his sins.
Yet, it left Kelly unmoved.
She swung her gaze away from him and edged further away to increase the distance between them. This would be a good time to show up, Sin, she mentally pleaded. The last thing she wanted was to be forced into a conversation with Spencer.
Unfortunately, fate is a cruel mistress. Sin didn’t turn up, and Spencer started towards Kelly. Instinctively, she took a step back. If he had common sense, he would’ve realized that that was her way of telling him not to come closer. But common sense had never been one of Spencer’s strong suits. He kept coming.
If she wasn’t being watched by the guards, Kelly would’ve run. Her only option was to turn her back to him and hope he got the message this time. But her hopes were in vain.
“Kelly.” His deep voice echoed behind her.
She stiffened and held her breath as irritation spurted through her.
“Kelly,” he called out again.
Slowly, she turned to find him watching her with those sad, sad eyes. Her top lip lifted in an automatic sneer. “What are you doing here?”
For a moment he just stared at her as if imprinting her face in his memories then he said, “I came to give you a ride.”
Kelly blinked then blinked again. Was he serious? She gaped at him, shocked by his audacity. After everything he’d put her through, he was here to do what?
“I didn’t know if someone would come to pick you up so…” His words drifted to silence and his gaze shifted away from hers as if he was embarrassed.
Glaring at him, she bit out, “No thanks.”
He raised his gaze to meet hers. “Are you sure? I can g-”
Her voice was hard as ice as she asked, “Do you really expect me to ride in the same car as you?”
Spencer’s jaw ticked but he didn’t say anything.
“Seeing your face annoys me.” Kelly had never quite felt the urge to punch someone as she did now. She pressed her fist against her thigh to curb the instinct. “When I see you I get angry. Because of you, I was put in there.” She jabbed her finger in the general direction of the prison. “Because of you, people know me as the woman who killed her best-friend. Because of you I lost-” A sudden lump swelled in her throat and she had to swallow hard before she could finish. “- I lost my father.”
Spencer bent his head. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you are.” She chuckled, but that chuckle was heavily laced with hostility. “I’m sorry too.”
His eyes met hers again. “Why would you be sorry?”
Instead of answering his question, she said, “Thank you for catching the real killer and helping to clear me of the false charges.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Spencer said softly. “It’s my job.”
Kelly’s lips crooked in a scornful smile. How ironic! When she’d really needed him to do his job, he’d been busy prancing around and flexing his Assistant District Attorney muscles. It had taken the sky falling for him to finally realize his mistakes and correct them. But it was too little, too late.
“Thank you for getting me out of prison.” Kelly paused briefly as she studied him. “But I can’t give you what you want.”
Spencer frowned. “I don’t want anything.”
“Don’t you?” She arched her eyebrows. “We both know you didn’t come here to give me a ride – it’s just an excuse. You came here hoping that I’d forgive you. That I’d help you get rid of your guilt.”
His eyes flashed and for a moment she thought he’d deny it. But he didn’t. He pulled in a deep breath and stared at the ground.
She continued, “That’s why I’m sorry.” Though there was more than an arms-length between them, it still felt like he was too damn close. Feeling suffocated, she took a step back before adding, “Because there’s only one way you can get forgiveness from me.”
His head came up swiftly and eagerness lit his gaze. “What can I do?”
She offered him a cold smile. “Turn back time.”
His shoulders slumped and disappointment clouded his expression.
“Take me back to a time when I hadn’t met you, when I was a budding attorney and not an ex-con, when my father was alive.” Bitterly, Kelly added, “If you can’t do that then don’t show your face to me again.”
Spencer sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop!” she retorted sharply. “Stop saying you’re sorry. If you’re looking for pity or forgiveness, visit a priest because you won’t find it here. Your apologies are only making me angrier.”
“Kelly, I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I-” His voice cracked. “-and I don’t expect to get it but-”
“But nothing!” she cut him off mid-sentence. “If you’re really sorry then remember me. Live with the guilt of what you did. The next time you meet a defendant in court, remember me.” She glared at him. “As for me, I’m going to try very, very hard to erase you from my memories. You’re a nightmare, a horrible nightmare that nobody should have to endure or remember.”
Pain crossed his features at the cruelty of her words, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care.
She continued, “I’m sorry that I ever met you. If you have any decency, then you’ll make sure that we never cross paths again. Please, please, please-”
“Kelly,” a feminine voice cut into her words.
Kelly turned only to find Sin waving at her from the edge of the crowd with a wide grin. Sin’s high-pitched voice, attractive looks and skimpy booty shorts were enough to draw most of the crowd’s attention to her, but she only had eyes for Kelly. The curvy, honey-toned, curly-haired woman was the picture of excitement as she made her way to Kelly and Spencer.
“Sorry, I’m late.” Sin beamed as she drew her friend in for a hug. “Traffic.”
“That’s okay!” Kelly smiled, feeling lighter now that her friend was here. “I’m just glad that you came.”
It was only when Sin pulled back from Kelly that she finally noticed Spencer. She reared backwards in shock. “What the hell is he doing here?”
“I don’t know either,” Kelly said.
“Why would you come here?” Anger flashing in her eyes, Sin turned to Spencer. “Are you crazy? I should just punch you, you bast-”
“Sin.” Kelly grabbed her friend’s arm to keep her from jumping Spencer. “Let’s go.”
“No, we need to teach this-”
“Let’s go.” Kelly cut her off. Without a backward glance, she dragged Sin away, leaving Spencer behind to wallow in his useless guilt.