CHAPTER EIGHT
The next few weeks go by quickly. Cassie took me shopping a few more times, but luckily, I didn’t end up walking home in the middle of a summer storm during those trips. Dad spent his days working, sometimes from home, and Leanne kept busy running errands, cooking, and baking. I helped when I could, but most of the time Cassie and the boys kept me busy doing normal teenage stuff. Their words, not mine.
I learned how to play Mario Kart and watched countless movies. We went to the theater and ate popcorn that was more expensive than the movie tickets. We drove to a place where you made your own ice cream mix. Cassie told me this was all the stuff she assumed I missed out on growing up and she’s right.
Caleb is exceptionally sweet and gentle with me. When I get nervous in crowded places he seems to notice and makes a subtle excuse for us to leave. He never asks me about my past either, which I appreciate. I’ll tell them all when it’s the right time. I don’t want them to see me differently when they learn the whole truth. They’ve picked up bits and pieces since my arrival, but they don’t know the worst of it. They don’t know what a terrible person I truly am.
When Jaxon and Cassie are busy together, Caleb ensures I have something to do or someone to hang out with. He even modified his plans a few times after finding out Leanne and my dad would be busy. Lately, when we’re together and alone my tummy gets a fluttery feeling, like butterflies flying around inside. I’m not sure what it means. I want to bring it up to Cassie, but I don’t want to embarrass myself, especially if it’s not normal.
Today, the six of us plan to work on building a house for the less fortunate. It’s our monthly charity work. Hopefully, it will be as fun as last month at the animal shelter. Leanne and Jaxon are spectacular with animals. It was interesting to watch. It’s surprising, though admirable, for even Dad and Leanne to participate in charity work with us. They say it usually takes a full weekend of their time, but it’s always worth it. The animal shelter only took up an entire day last month, but we are supposed to spend today and tomorrow working on this house.
When we pull up to the job site, a half-built house sits in the middle of a dirt lot and with a few workers scattered around. I made sure to wear one of my old shirts and jeans, not wanting to ruin my new clothes.
Distracted by my perusal of the site, I miss Caleb and Jaxon pulling up in Caleb’s truck.
When Caleb grabs my hand, I jump. His fingers tighten around mine. “Are you ready to work?”
I blush and nod at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Cassie whisper something to Jaxon, and he shoots a strange look in our direction. I’m worried I did something to upset him because he’s frowning at Caleb and me.
“Okay, Riley.” Caleb takes me away from worrying about what’s wrong with Jaxon. “This is where you, Cassie, and Leanne will be.” He points to what I assume will be a living room, with painting supplies in one corner. “The whole downstairs needs to be done which means it’s probably where you three will be all day.”
“Where w-w-will you guys be?” I glance around to find two other women painting in the hallway.
“We need to get some supplies from the truck, then we’ll be up on the roof laying down shingles.” He smirks at me, his finger pointing up to the ceiling. “I probably won’t see you until we break for lunch.”
I give him a nod, even though this disappoints me for some reason. I don’t need to see him every second of the day, and he’ll working on the same house as me. Why is it still upsetting? I really need to talk to Cassie. She’s my first real friend, and I can’t figure these feelings out on my own. I think I can trust her enough to talk to her about it all.
Caleb hugs me quickly, something he’s started doing a lot lately, then heads out to get to work. Cassie and Leanne are already starting on the walls when I find them, and I quickly join in. For a while, it’s just the three of us making small talk. I’ve been stuttering a lot less around the five of them. The more I talk to them, the less my voice shakes and wobbles.
A few hours later, the three of us pause for a water break, and out of nowhere, Leanne turns to me and asks, “So, has he kissed you yet?”
I choke on the drink of water I just took, and Cassie is in tears as she howls with laughter. There’s a quick commotion outside just before the boys come rushing in, probably to figure out why it sounds like I’m dying. Caleb runs up to me, gently patting my back.
“Baby girl, what happened?” Caleb eyes Cassie curiously while she struggles to catch her breath. While Caleb fusses over me and Cassie gasps for air, Leanne crosses her arms and watches us with a smirk.
“Wrong tube,” I wheeze out when I regain the ability to suck in enough air to breathe again. “Sorry, I’m f-f-fine, I didn’t m-m-mean to scare you.”
Caleb puts an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. “Stop apologizing, you’ve got nothing to be sorry about,” he whispers in my ear.
It’s something he’s been saying to me a lot in the past few weeks. A blush heats my cheeks as his breath tickles the side of my face. The butterflies in my tummy take flight again.
I risk a glance at Leanne, and she quirks an eyebrow as if to say, Well, has he? I subtly shake my head no, and her expression drops slightly in disappointment. Noticing the silent exchange between Leanne and me, Cassie snorts and coughs to cover her continued snickers.
My dad chuckles at our strange exchange, shaking his head with amusement. “Okay, breaks over! Back to work everyone!”
Caleb asks me once more if I’m all right before heading back to work with Jaxon and Dad. I’m too embarrassed to say anything to Cassie or Leanne after the guys go back outside. My embarrassment renders me speechless until lunch, allowing the girls to chat amongst themselves.
Around noon the boys come strolling in with burgers and fries for the six of us. Cassie and I lay a clean tarp on the floor for us all to sit on while we eat our lunch. The boys eat faster than us. Having a lot more work, they head back out before us girls finish. I offer to toss our trash in the bin outside while Cassie and Leanne move onto painting the kitchen.
As I shuffle back to the house after tossing the wrappers, someone above me yells, “Look out!”
I freeze and look up in time to see a large object falling from the roof, heading straight for me. Before I have a chance to react, a heavy gust of wind whips my hair around my face and shifts the nail gun a foot away from me, barely avoiding my head.
I blink at the tool in confusion for about three seconds before the yelling voices register. Lifting my gaze from the nail gun, several of the workers from around the job site rush at me. Not understanding what’s happening, I take a step back from the stampede of people. My back hits something, and I’m suddenly swirled around and pulled into a familiar embrace.
“Jesus Christ, baby, you about gave me a heart attack,” Caleb murmurs into my hair as he holds me tight. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”
My mind swirls, trying to catch up to what’s going on. Strange hands reach out to me as the chatter increases. Shaking my head, I bury my face in his chest as uncontrollable tremors race through my body.
Caleb must feel the shaking, because the next thing I know he picks me up and carries me toward his truck. He turns his head and shouts that I’m fine over his shoulder. When we reach the truck, he pulls us both into the bed and situates me sideways on his lap. We stay silent for several minutes while the shaking slowly subsides before he finally pulls back to search my face.
“Why were you shaking so hard, Riley?” he inquires softly.
It’s strange when he says my name. For weeks he’s only called me babe or baby girl.
“It’s nothing,” I mutter as I turn away to hide my burning cheeks.
I don’t want him to know why I react the way I do in crowds. Being terrified of strangers is incredibly embarrassing. My heart would break if he knew the truth and laughed at me. With my head down, it startles me when he gently grabs my chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting my head up. The angle gives me no choice but to stare into his imploring blue eyes. He makes it impossible to pretend everything is fine. It’s clear as day in his eyes he genuinely wants a truthful answer.
“I was s-s-scared,” I admit with a resigned sigh. “I get a-a-anxious around strange people. I sh-sh-shake, and I can’t breathe. I just… I p-p-panic. Sometimes, I pass o-o-out if there’s too many people at once and no e-e-escape. My head spins, and I f-f-forget how to breathe.”
“But…” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words. “You didn’t. Panic, I mean. You looked terrified, and you got shaky, but you didn’t really panic. At least none of the passing out or forgetting to breathe.”
“Yeah, but that’s because I have you h-h-here,” I explain. “I know as l-l-long as you’re with me, I’m s-s-safe.”
He gawks at me with wide eyes for a moment before cupping my face softly with his hands. His voice fills with awe and hope as he whispers, “You trust me, baby girl?”
Do I trust him? I’ve never given my full trust to another person before. I haven’t had a real friend before either, and my only family was my mother and stepfather. No way would I would ever trust either of them with anything.
But Caleb? He wouldn’t lie to me. Truth shines in his eyes every time he speaks. He’d never intentionally hurt me in any way. I have faith he’ll always be there for me if I need him. My eyes go wide as it dawns on me. I really trust Caleb.
I focus back on his face, and the hope in his eyes fades. I don’t know where my courage comes from, but I grab his face in my hands and make sure his gaze locks with mine while I tell him my new discovery.
I need him to know how serious I am and what he means to me. “Yes, Caleb. I trust you… with everything.”
His smile could light up the city. His forehead rests against mine, as he holds me for a while. Neither of us feels the need to say anything, and that’s okay with me.
Later in the evening, we start the drive home. Instead of riding with my dad and Leanne, I get to head back home in Caleb’s truck. Caleb is quiet, which allows me to reflect a bit on the day. The realization that I trust Caleb still shocks me. It’s not something I planned on; it just happened. Things are starting to transform inside me. I’m more comfortable around everyone, I’m trusting people, and I feel like I can be myself around the people I live with. I can’t shake the feeling that some even bigger transitions are coming.