Chapter 9
Into the Unknown
Kerensa found herself unable to move as the dragon stared back at her. Even though she had just seen the shifter change, she found it nearly impossible to believe that he could take on the form of a dragon. The form was nothing like what she had seen back in books or in the sky over Volsci. This dragon was not nearly so big as what Kerensa thought a dragon would be. He fit on one side of the ship.
Somehow his smaller stature actually seemed more terrifying. The heat that Kerensa usually thought of when someone said dragons was completely lacking. In its place was a coldness that was far scarier as it made her feel frightened and sleepy at the same time.
She had no idea how long she stared, but finally, the dragon stomped a foot. Realizing that Heath was waiting for her, Kerensa immediately found her voice and began to apologize profusely. “I am so sorry. What should I do? Should I get on one of the rafts?”
Even though the face was that of a dragon’s, Kerensa could see the look of humor and disbelief at her words. With a quick shake of his head, Heath leaned down and spread out an elegant blue wing, indicating she needed to climb on his back.
“Are-are you sure?” she whispered into his ear.
There was a loud snort, and cold air expanded from the dragon’s face. Immediately, she began to clamber up on the dragon’s back, “I’m sorry, that was… Wow.” Realizing she had nothing of interest or intelligence to say, the young woman opted for keeping her mouth shut.
Once she was settled, the beat of the wings took her breath away. Kerensa had expected to be jolted around on the dragon’s neck, but the movements were so smooth, it was more like gliding on ice. Still, as they rose higher, she leaned forward and clung to Heath’s powerful neck. For a brief moment, his motions were a little off, but she barely noticed, almost like a jolt of wind had pushed him off course a little.
Kerensa decided to talk as they travelled because the entire experience was too exciting to keep quiet.
Her face was just over Heath’s neck as she spoke, “Thank you Heath. I don’t know why you have been acting strangely, perhaps because you were afraid of how I would react to your other shape, but thank you. For everything. You have been so good to me, and I have given you nothing in return. I wonder if Bree knew you would be here. That you would be on this voyage, and that you would take such good care of me. I wonder if she knew what it would do to me. These last couple of weeks have been terrifying in some way because I kept thinking that you would get sick of me, or that you would find someone else that you wanted to help more. The truth is that I have become so dependent on you that I don’t quite understand what I'm thinking any more. That has never happened to me. It is terrifying on many levels because, well, my brain is my best asset. Without it, I’m just a pathetic little girl who could have had anything I wanted in society, but I wanted more. I have been so greedy, and since you came into my life, I have only gotten worse. I can’t imagine not having you around now. What does that mean about who I am becoming? Am I really so weak that I feel that I always need someone?
“I am quite certain that I did not feel this way before though. When I was told Chadwick would be joining me, I was furious. I didn’t want anyone to come with me because I knew it would be trouble. My father insisted on it being Chadwick, though I don’t quite understand why. Chadwick’s always been so sweet and gentle with me. There was a time when each of my sisters had a crush on him. Not at the same time, of course. I found him when he was young, just an orphan. He had stolen one of my dolls. It was a dragon.” A smile passed her lips at the memory. “Even as a child I didn’t care for the usual girlish toys. Instead of getting angry, I convinced my father to bring the boy into our home for training because I felt sorry for him. I tried to get him to keep the doll, but he was ashamed. For nearly three months he couldn’t even look at me. Slowly we grew close, mostly as he asked me advice on how to get my sisters to stop their advances. He was so cute and charming, it was difficult to convince him to do the things he needed to do. Then he started asking me about how to woo women. He was about 15 at the time, and I was only 9, so it wasn’t anything that I could understand or really help with. I knew how to upset my sisters, but didn’t have a clue how to catch a woman’s heart. It wasn’t something I had ever stopped to consider, not having ever thought about marriage or spouses myself. As much as I love my father, he was a poor example for how to choose an appropriate spouse. He hates my mother, and I can’t blame him. The entire nobility is full of couples who loath each other. I had better things to do than be a wife and baby maker for some man who couldn’t see anything else. The stories about love were just as bad because they were entirely unrealistic. Why believe in something that probably doesn’t exist when there is so much to learn and explore in the world around us? It’s simply too big and beautiful to commit to something you can’t stand. That’s what so many people around me never understood.
Kerensa sighed and leaned forward, resting her face on Heath’s neck. It was cool, but not freezing. Something about his light blue scales made her feel relaxed and comforted. She watched the water beneath them as she continued her tale. “Over the next few years after Chadwick asked for my advice, I saw him with a few girls. He was holding their hands or laughing with them with a look in his eye that I had not seen before. One night I saw him in the garden, though he did not see me. As I approached, I realized that he was not alone. Nor was he dressed. For a few moments I was frozen to the spot as I watched him and the woman…well, I hardly need to spell it out what they were doing. It shocked me, and I think I fancied that I was in love at the time. Even I was impressionable at 17, and some stupid part of me wanted romance and love.
“I spent the next few months trying to avoid him. It took him a while to notice, but one day when he saw me in the garden, I completely ignored him and ran away as he tried to say hello. It didn’t take long after that before he made sure to talk to me. I was completely emotional and stupid. I accused him of all kinds of things, and of course, he had no idea what I was talking about. I blew up at the end and told him I never wanted to see him again. When I learned that he had left our home two days later, of course I tracked him down. I started crying when I found him, and he held me for as long as I cried. That’s when I started telling him that I loved him. He was completely shocked and let go of me. He told me if that were true, then there was no way he could return to my father’s home. I don’t remember how it happened, but less than two months later he was back under our roof.
“Too afraid that talking about love would scare him again, one day I asked him to help me with an experiment. He quickly agreed, never once asking what it was. I had to make a trip to one of my father’s friend’s homes over a day away, so I had Chadwick come with me. While we were at the inn that night, I reminded him that he said he would help me with an experiment. When he asked me what it was, I told him that I wanted him to sleep with me. I thought he was going to run away, but instead he kissed me, much rougher than I had been expecting. He took me that night, and it hurt so bad. I don’t know why people enjoy doing that to be honest. It never happened again, and we never talked about it. After that, it was like everything went back to the way things used to be, I just had a completely different understanding of love. Clearly I was not cut out for something like that, and I dare say he felt the same way. He’s been with several different women since them, which makes me glad. It would have hurt to think that he had loved me.
She closed her eyes, “I don’t know why I’m saying all of this. It’s not like you are interested in my human stupidity or entitlements. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this story makes you sick. I’m so pathetic, it’s not even funny. I want to be intelligent, but I’m a woman. I want to be useful, but all I do is get in the way or get hurt. I want so much without giving back. If you have encountered a number of people like me it is no wonder you don’t like humans. We are a very pathetic creature. Gods, I hope you can’t understand me because I don’t think I can bare the judgement you are sure to have in your eyes if you do understand. The idea of driving you away is unbearable.”
Kerensa kept her face on Heath’s neck, her eyes catching all kinds of details about the landscape. She knew she should be paying attention to everything around her, but somehow she just could not bring herself to focus on it.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but the young woman noticed that they were heading back toward the ground. The place where they were landing looked like it was covered in ice and snow, but it was clearly land underneath it all. Heath was heading toward a small clearing with a cabin. Kerensa said nothing when the dragon landed. As she lowered herself off of Heath’s shoulders, the young woman forgot about her leg and landed too hard on it. As she crumpled a strong pair of arms caught her. Without a word, Heath picked her up and took her inside the cabin.
Once inside, he started a fire. He lit it just the same way that Kerensa would have if she were building a fire, a sight she thought she would never see.
“Whose place is this?” She asked looking around.
“It’s mine.” He said, his attention focused on the fire now beginning to spread in the hearth.
“You have a home in the middle of nowhere?”
“I have many small homes all over the world. I am somewhat restless and so I make sure that I can escape as often as possible.” Something in his tone sounded sad, and Kerensa did not want to ask him anything that would upset him. Instead she decided to follow a different train of thought.
“So you can’t make fire, but you can make ice?” She asked him, her mind already working on a wide range of questions.
Heath turned to look at her, then nodded. Yes, we are entirely unlike the dragons you know. Most humans don’t even know we exist, but I am not surprised that you have heard of us.” There was a sad smile on his lips.
“Is something wrong?”
Heath got up and moved to the chair near the bed, “Nothing serious. Just a long day, and I am a bit tired.”
“Flying makes you tired?”
“Does walking make you tired?
She smiled at him, “Alright, I admit that was a stupid question. I’m sorry, I just-It was stupid and I will try to keep those kinds of questions to myself.” Her face turned to the floor as she apologized.
A cool hand tilted her face back up, and she was looking into the cool blue eyes that were so familiar, even with their disapproving look in them, “I never said it was a stupid question. I gave you a comparison so that you would understand what it is like based on your own experiences.”
“Oh, well that was very kind, and I took it the wrong way. I’m sorry-”
“No more sorry, no more apologies. Stop being so hard on yourself.”
Kerensa ran her hand through her long blond hair, “But you don’t like humans. Or at least you already think we are incredibly dim.”
“Not all humans are, just like all dragons don’t breathe fire. There are many different types of humans, some are common and predictable. Some are rare and beautiful. And a few are gems that you only see once in a lifetime.”
Kerensa smiled, “Whose lifetime do you mean? The short life of a human, or-”
“I mean the life time of an ice dragon, more than 1,000 years.”
“That long?” Her eyes were wide.
Heath grinned and nodded, “Yes. I’m still quite young for my type.”
“And yet you were willing to die today?”
Heath nodded again.
“For a bunch of humans?”
“One life or more than 200, which would you save?”
Kerensa shook her head, “A thousand years! You would have thrown away about 850 years of life for a bunch of creatures who didn’t even know your species existed, and who probably would not remember you 5 years from now.”
Heath titled his head, “Would you have remembered me?”
Kerensa felt her heart skip a beat, and she had to look away, “I will remember you until the day that I die.”
Heath moved closer to her, his face just a few inches away. Kerensa looked into his eyes and did not notice as her hand reached up and touched his cool cheek. The shifter placed a hand over hers, and stroked her hair with the other.
His voice was low as he asked, “May I, Kerensa?”
A shiver went through the young woman as her name left the man’s lips. “You’ve never called me by my name before,” she responded as her other hand move up Heath’s shoulder and around his neck.
“It was a misunderstanding on my part.” He moved a little closer, his lips so close that she could feel his cool breath on her face.
“Yes,” she murmured, closing her eyes.
She had expected the same kind of roughness that she had experienced with Chadwick. What happened was far more tender and sweet. Heath’s kiss was like the beat of a heart, firm and steady, but comforting and brief. When he pulled away, Kerensa leaned forward, her eyes still closed. She heard a little laugh and opened her eyes. “Again?” The smile on his lips was playful.
The young woman gave an eager nod of her head.
Heath leaned in again, this time his kiss a little more passionate, but not insistent. Kerensa opened her mouth a little and felt a cool tongue slide in. Throwing her arms around the shifter’s neck, the young woman began pressing her chest into his. Heath’s reaction was immediate and just as passionate. His hand slide down her back and onto her lower back, pulling her into his body. With his other hand, he gently stroked her leg where it had been injured, and soon Kerensa could not feel any pain at all.
“How did you-What did you-”
“Shh,” he murmured in her ear as he gently pressed her down onto the bed. Kerensa felt her heart skip a beat and she moaned as he placed his weight on her body. Wrapping a leg around him, she began to unfasten his pants.
“Are you sure?” Heath’s voice was low and full of worry.
Kerensa opened her eyes and looked at his face, and was touched by the way he was looking at her. “Believe it or not, I won’t break.”
“I don’t think I can believe it given how many parts of you have been broken up to this point.”
Kerensa gave a little laugh, then leaned up into Heath. Her mouth covered his, stopping any further discussion. Slowly he unfastened her clothing as she undid his. The feel of his cool skin on her body was like a spring on a hot summer’s day. Kerensa moaned as she buried her face in his shoulder.
Slowly, Heath began to press into her. At first the young woman was braced for the pain, but the shifter’s movements were so slow and gentle, that she soon found that she was getting impatient.
Her body began to press into him harder as she tried to slide him further into her. “Please, Heath.” Her voice sounded like someone else’s as she begged him.
“Again,” he said. His voice caused her to look up. The handsome young shifter was looking at her with amusement in his eyes.
“Please Heath.” She murmured. “Please Heath. Oh!” She responded to his sudden thrust into her. “Oh gods! Please Heath! Please more!” She was again rewarded with another hard thrust. She dug her fingers into his back, pulling him to her as she called his name repeatedly. After a minute or two, their bodies fell into a steady rhythm that caused them both to moan.