“What the hell’s going on?”

Toni sighed when her supervisor shoved open the curtains surrounding the cubicle. The whistle of metal rings against the pole set her nerves to twitching with discomfort, but she turned around and looked Peter Rodriguez in the eye. “They’re my mates.”

Rodriguez was a dick. There was no other way to describe him.  They tolerated each other well enough, mostly because she wasn’t afraid of him like the rest of the staff were. Toni found if she served him nothing more than the truth, he couldn’t manipulate it to his own ends. But that had changed a month ago when he’d tried it on, she’d rebuffed him, and he’d made an attempt to cop a feel of her boob. She’d told management, only they hadn’t believed her, and then, they’d gone and informed Rodriguez of her complaint.

Ever since, the two of them had been circling each other like wary cocks about to fight.

“Mates?” Rodriguez scoffed. “Have you been siphoning morphine? Don’t be ridiculous…”

The instant his disrespectful tone registered, Graver’s back stiffened, and he turned on the gangly consultant. If he’d been in his other form, his hackles would be up. As it was, he was just bristling and looking angry enough to spit. J’s grip on her fingers had tightened to just before the point of pain, but he too was tense. Energy was spiking through him that she knew was agitation on her behalf.

Before she could try to resolve the situation, and before Rodriguez even had a chance to finish his sentence, Graver was in her supervisor’s face, his hands close to grabbing the other man’s lab coat collar.

Rodriguez’s eyes were wide as he saw Graver bare his teeth, and Toni was quick to say, “Graver, calm down. He meant no harm.”

“Bullshit,” J snarled. “He disrespected your word.”

She bit her lip, charmed despite herself at the way they were defending her when Rodriguez had done far worse to her in the past. She refrained from saying that, however. If this was their reaction to something so slight… well, hair trigger in no way described their tempers.

She was quite accustomed to that though. Latinos had fiery natures. Her parents had argued nonstop, which more often than not had led to kissing and probably sex. Not that she’d recognized that back then, but hell, it was obvious now.

Resting a hand on Justiss’s stomach—and jeez, talk about rock hard; she had to stop herself from testing the thick pads of muscle—she tried to calm him as she murmured, “Rodriguez, I think you can tell that tempers are a little frayed in here. It might be wise if you just go and return later.”

He pursed his lips. “You have ten minutes left to your shift, Juarez. You clock out on the dot like the rest of the staff.”

“Did I say I wouldn’t?” she snarled, pissed that he was trying to make out she was going to try to take off early. But hell, when she’d been in the bathroom, she’d still had an hour to work. How had time passed so quickly in this cubicle?

“No, but it felt like you were inferring it,” he retorted, tone snooty as fuck. “Mates or no, you still have your duty to fulfil.”

Hell, now she wanted to smack him. Never mind setting Graver on his ass.

Clearing her throat, she murmured, “I’ll clock out once I’ve worked my hours, and when I’ve assured myself my patients are in good hands for the rest of the night.”

He clenched his jaw then eyed both the men still snarling at him. He tugged at his collar and then backed away, almost jumping when Graver snapped his teeth in a mock bite. She raised a hand to cover her mouth in amusement at Rodriguez’s outrage then ducked her head to hide it even more when he backed straight into Betsy, her aid.

Rodriguez rushed off in a flurry of embarrassment, and Betsy scowled at his retreating back. “Well, that was rude.”

“He is rude though, isn’t he?” Toni complained, and they shared a commiserating glance at having to work with some of the macho dicks on staff here. Though there were more female doctors than ever, the men at this particular hospital seemed to have forgotten feminism had ever happened. Some of the surgeons treated the nurses like nothing more than their personal assistants, and this wasn’t just the older members on staff but some of the younger ones too.

Betsy’s nod was grim. “Yeah. He’s rude to the bone. Anyway, I know you’re going off soon, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay in here. The guys in the waiting room are getting antsy.”

Justiss snorted. “They were born antsy.” He sat up with a deep, heartfelt groan, but the lines of tension bracketing his eyes and mouth weren’t as deep as before. The blood sacrifice was working its magic. Whatever magic that was, she had no idea, but she was just relieved he was feeling better. “I don’t need to be here, Toni. I just need to shift. So, can I get out of here?”

Betsy’s brows rose at his use of her given name, and rather than mention it, Toni murmured, “Betsy, can you get the appropriate paperwork for them to sign?”

The nurse nodded and scuttled away, sharing a backward glance with her as she left. Toni could feel her curiosity, but she ignored it. What Betsy had heard was minimal, but she had no doubt it would be spread around the emergency department before she even managed to get out for the night.

Sighing, she rubbed the back of her neck and hitched her hip against the bed for support. Her earlier fatigue hit her square between the eyes again.

“You look tired.”

Graver’s words had her blinking up at him. “I am. Haven’t been sleeping well since I went on the night shift. I hate working nights.”

Justiss’s big strong hand came up to cup her shoulder. He rubbed the taut muscle there and murmured, “You recognize what we’re saying is true, don’t you, Tonia?”

“That I’m your mate?”

“Yeah. That we’re your mates.”

She swallowed then whispered, “Yeah. I feel it. It’s insane, but I feel it. Even through my exhaustion… which is very telling.” Her grin was weak but meaningful nonetheless.

“No pressure for tonight, no pressure for tomorrow night, but why don’t you come with us? We’ll make sure you sleep.”

Justiss’s remark prompted Graver to say, “You’ll be safe with us.”

The crazy thing was, she didn’t doubt that. This connection that had arced between them made her feel more comfortable with them than she did with colleagues she’d known since she’d started working here! And she’d been here for her residency… Still, Justiss and Graver had treated her with more decency than Peter Rodriguez ever had.

Trust didn’t come easily to Toni, but when it did come, it arrived in the bucket loads. Trouble was, she shouldn’t have been feeling so much and so soon, and all without feeling that much concern. A woman couldn’t be too careful nowadays, and these two were huge.

That being said, she could do no less than admit, “I know I will.” She meant every word. “I don’t know how I know it, but I do. Where do you guys live though?”

“At our clubhouse. Over in Channelview.”

She grimaced. “Wouldn’t you prefer to stay with me?” She tugged at her bottom lip. “What I know about mate bonds could be summed up in a paragraph, but I know it’s a very intimate time. Do we want to be in a,” her grimace deepened, “clubhouse?”

Justiss’s soft chuckle made her insides melt, and she had to shore up her resolve at the gentle sound. “An intimate time is one way of phrasing it.”

Graver rolled his eyes. “Stop teasing her.”

Justiss’s grin was quick. “I tease everyone.”

“Yeah, and it never stops being annoying.” Graver sighed, then to Toni murmured, “You can trust us to keep you safe at the clubhouse. It’s not all Sons of Anarchy,” he tried to reassure her. “It’s our Clan house too. We’re there a lot. For business and pleasure.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Well, my business is in the city, not in the sticks.”

Justiss cleared his throat. “Logistics are irrelevant, Graver. Let’s do as the lady wants. She’s right; her place will be far more comfortable anyway.”

“But we need to shift, Justiss,” Graver argued. “We can’t just do it in the suburbs.”

Grimacing, he turned to Toni with an apologetic look. “I can’t really argue that, Tonia. I’m sorry. He’s right. We can’t just shift in the middle of a residential area, and I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to be apart from you.”

Though she understood the logic of that, she really didn’t want to go to some shitty MC clubhouse in the middle of nowhere with two men she barely knew. Just because every part of her seemed to know them, it didn’t stop her from recognizing the fact she didn’t know them. She was too rational to forget that, even though every part of her was singing a song at simply being in their presence.

The two sides of her nature were at war. Ms. Reason and Logic were up in arms against Ms. Heart and Passion. Considering the latter never won, it was being battered and repeatedly rammed square in the gut. Normally, it died a death with little effort. This time, however, it was very different.

These two strangers were shoring up Ms. Heart and Passion’s defenses, enabling that half of her to fight back and to actually get some punches in.

It all created a very unstable emotional state, one that she was far too tired to even think about beginning to process. All she knew was, he was right. She didn’t want to be apart from them. That was the last thing she wanted, as crazy as it seemed to Ms. Reason and Logic.

She decided to lighten the mood, so with a yawn, murmured, “You’re not going to take me back to your lair and chop my head off, are you?”

Both men shared a look and then straightened up—Justiss as much as he could on a hospital gurney—and in somber tones, almost as one, murmured, “We promise your safety is paramount.”

She wrinkled her nose. “How did you two know to say that? I didn’t know Shifters could read minds.”

 “We don’t. But we spoke similarly because it’s the truth. Nothing matters more to either of us than your safety… your happiness,” Graver told her earnestly. “We’d never dream of hurting you.”

“I was kind of teasing, guys,” she told them sheepishly. “I guess I’m out of practice.”

Talk about understatement. If any of her department knew she’d tried to crack a joke, they’d have had an ER department flat out on the ground in astonishment.

Husky laughter rumbled out of Justiss as he leaned forward, rubbed his knuckles under her chin, and murmured, “You do need to practice, sweetheart. Decapitation isn’t really a joke. Especially when it revolves around the most important person in our world.”

“No,” she mumbled. “I guess not.”

He laughed again then said, “I can’t say it enough, but your safety means everything to us, Tonia. You needn’t fear. I would be happy to go to your place if there was space for us to shift, but from your reply, I’ll assume there isn’t, so we need to go where we’re safe too.”

“I understand that.” She nodded to reassure them both. “I’ll just run some last checks on a couple of patients and grab my things. You’ll have to sign yourself out, Justiss.”

“Yeah, I know. Where do we meet you?”

“The canteen?”

Graver whispered, “You promise you’re not going to try to run?”

That had her rearing back in surprise. Of all the thoughts flooding her brain, that hadn’t even been a possibility. “Run?”

Justiss sighed. “Graver. Don’t be ridiculous.”

He blew out a breath, a guilty cast overtaking his features as he held out his hands and told her, “Sorry, Tonia. I didn’t mean to imply…”

She reached for his hands, squeezed them. “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. But you misunderstand; I won’t try to run.” Her smile was shy as she admitted, “I probably should. I mean, this is insane, but it’s insane in a good way, right?” When neither seemed particularly reassured by those parting words of wisdom, she let out a sigh. “Sorry. I’m not explaining this very well. I should be scared, but I’m not. This connection between us…”

Ugh, how did she go about explaining something that made no sense to her either?

She’d been alone for so long—empty inside, apart from everyone, a single entity, only able to connect to the world through her work. Even then, she’d alienated people with her anal-retentive nature and had been unable to stop herself from making it worse.

Then, to walk into a cubicle as she’d done hundreds of times that day and to come face to face with someone who made the cold deep inside her start to warm up… Well, it was like a miracle. The man on the gurney had sped up the process. A small kernel of heat was currently buzzing away inside her core, not simply sexual in nature, but more importantly, emotional.

In less than an hour, they’d done what no one else had managed to do since her parents’ deaths.

Even if she was scared by the intensity of her reaction to them, a reaction that was involuntary, all this was happening with or without her say so after all, but she couldn’t reject them. Could never run from it no matter how frightening it was to suddenly start feeling again.

But how to condense that into words these two would be able to understand and accept?

She opened her mouth to speak, but then Graver played with her fingers and squeezed them gently, his big paw engulfing her delicate hand. “There’s no need to explain. I understand. And I’m sorry for even saying it.”

Toni swallowed back her nerves. “Are you sure you understand?” She knew what it felt like to be insecure, and that was the last thing she wanted for either of these two people.

As little as she knew them, it was suddenly imperative that they know she wasn’t running from this. Frightening and crazy though it was, she needed to know where it was going. Because the prospect of no longer being alone was far more addictive than any chemical she’d ever come across.

“Yes. I’m positive. I was being stupid. Insecure.” He admitted to the feeling she’d feared he’d been experiencing. “To have you and to lose you was more than I could even think about bearing. This has all come out of the blue, and I was reacting to that. I’m sorry.”

Touched that the intensity of this situation wasn’t just being processed by her, she smiled at him. “Well, you needn’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

 With his mate’s words ringing in his ears, Graver watched as she walked through the curtains and went to finish off her tasks for the night’s work.

As she walked away, one thought reverberated around his mind: she was tiny.

There was no other way to say it.

And he wasn’t.

Nor was Justiss.

And she had to…? How could she…?

“We’ll make it work.”

Justiss’s mind must have been running on the same track because when he turned to look at him, Graver saw a concern equal to his own written onto the man’s face. Mostly, it was in his eyes. A terror that he assumed all Shifters felt when it came to the safety of their one and only.

But today, in particular, was more delicate than most, because Jesus, she was small and they weren’t, and she had to somehow be a mate to both of them. One would be hard enough. But two?

He shook his head. “How? How can we make it work? I mean, she’s itty bitty and we’re monsters in comparison.”

“The Goddesses know what they’re doing.”

Yeah, Graver didn’t think that was the case. Hell, he knew it wasn’t. Because of that, he kept his trap shut and his eyes trained on the ground.

“What?”

Justiss’s annoyed question had him jerking a shoulder. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit. I know when you’re sitting on something. Talk to me, Aaron. There’s nothing more important than Tonia. If you know something that will help, then don’t keep me in the dark.”

“You don’t have to tell me that, J. Jesus.” He let out an annoyed breath then took a quick glance around. In between him and the next cubicle was nothing more than a shitty piece of curtain. “There’s not enough privacy in this place. We need to talk when we’re back at the clubhouse.”

At Graver’s reticence and apparent need for the talk to be uber private, J’s eyes widened, then they shuttered when he nodded his irritated understanding. He reached up to scrub a hand over his face and grumbled, “I’m so fucking tired.”

“I think we all are.”

“Some bonding night this is going to be,” J retorted, but he didn’t sound sarcastic or even put out. More than anything, he just sounded exhausted. “I just want to Shift, mess around a little as a bear to get my energy back, then dive into the shower and get straight into bed. Fuck, I must be getting old.”

“Nah. I’m young, and I want the exact same thing. It’s true what they say. The rite pulls on your magic. My bear’s rattling around inside me like a chicken that’s had its head lobbed off.”

J winced. “Thank you, Aaron. You didn’t have to save me. But you did. I’ll never forget that.”

Graver ducked his head. “It was worth it. It will never not be worth it either.”

“Even if I’m a pain in the ass?”

He snorted. “When aren’t you? If you suddenly decided to be normal, I’d think there was something the fucking matter with you.” He yawned, suddenly feeling the pull of the energy that had been robbed from his bear, and a thought occurred to him as a result, one that had him sucking in a bracing breath. “How are we going to handle the sleeping arrangements, J?” Graver drummed his fingers nervously against the flat mattress his brother was resting on. “All any of us want to do is sleep. So, we need to figure it out sooner rather than later.”

“We share a bed with her in between us.” He shrugged a shoulder, like that simple reply explained it all away.

Graver’s relief made his knees knock. “You’re not going to push me out? Push me away because I’m the youngest?”

J cocked a brow. “When have I ever done anything like that?”

“True, but you’ve never died, been brought back to life, and found your mate all in the same day.”

“Well, I reckon one-sixty-years on this plane lets me figure out what kind of person I am, and none of that is going to change me. Not unless whatever it is you have to tell me in private will knock that off skew?”

Would it? Graver didn’t know. All he did know was that he doubted in all those years, Justiss, in his infinite wisdom, wasn’t going to be wiser than a Goddess.

Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, he studied J. But the longer he studied him, the more Justiss’s features turned from teasing to serious.

“Really?” he mouthed, eyes widening when Graver gave him a brief nod.

“We should talk about this later,” Graver said, a touch curtly.

“Yeah, sure.” The instant he murmured in the affirmative, the curtains to the cubicle swung open and Betsy, the nurse who had worked point with Toni, appeared.

Curiosity sparkled in her eyes, but she managed to keep it professional as she showed J where to sign so they could get the hell out of this place.

Christ, he was glad he wasn’t human, susceptible to their little colds and injuries that happened with barely any instigation. It had taken a bike running over his chest for him to break a rib when he’d fallen off his own and into the path of his brother’s ride, and he’d been carrying a three-hundred-pound bag of cement when he’d dislocated his shoulder—and his brothers had ribbed him for weeks when he’d dropped the bag, but rather than let go, had maintained a hold on it. The momentum, weight, and force had jerked the joint out of its socket. It was no mean feat injuring a Shifter. They were susceptible, like humans were, where organs were concerned. J was a testament to the fact that a knife could slice as cleanly through a Shifter’s skin and matter as it could a human, but they were powerful creatures. Humans, on the other hand, weren’t. They were frail, delicate—a nightmare to keep safe.

It was the torment of all Shifters. In the grand scheme of things, they didn’t give a damn about humans, but they sure as hell had to when their mates could be found within that gene pool. Frail mates were a blessing and a curse. To have them, finally, was a wonder, but fear for their safety was a constant plague.

His ma was stronger now she was bound to her mate. All humans underwent a slight transition after they were bound and gifted a ‘talent’ from the Goddesses who had reared them for one of their Shifter children. His mother had a talent for growing shit; their garden, even in their dustbowl of a neighborhood, was like a greenhouse without the glass. But with or without that talent, she was nowhere near as strong as the offspring she’d borne. Of course, there was the irony that though she was the weakest in the family, she’d outlived two sons. But that was hard living and hard choices, nothing more, nothing less.

Toni, when she was bound to them, would be stronger. She wouldn’t be so weak. But still, the fear was there, and it was rampant in Graver’s head. He’d seen Justiss almost die tonight, had endured the passing of two brothers… To finally have found his mate and to lose her was beyond anything his mind could even handle.

As he watched Betsy flutter through what seemed like copious amounts of paperwork for a stay in hospital that ran under an hour and where J hadn’t actually been tended to or treated, he saw her hiss and hold up a finger to her mouth. The tang of blood perfumed the cubicle, making both his and J’s nostrils flare at the metallic scent.

They shared a look, and J seemed to understand what he was silently saying because he shook his head, silently telling him to shut up. When Betsy retreated and finally left them with more polite but curious smiles aimed their way as she ducked out—a thousand questions longing to fall from her lips—J held up a hand to stall him. “She’ll be tougher when she’s bound to us.”

Graver grunted. “Fucking paper, J. Paper.”

“They’re more delicate than us.”

“You’re telling me. How the fuck can paper hurt you?” He folded his arms across her chest. “I can’t lose her.”

“You’ve only just found her, and you’re already talking about losing her.” J wagged a finger at him. “Since when did you become so all fire negative?”

“Since I watched you bleeding out in the foyer… That a big enough clue?”

“Bullshit. It’s since your bros died. Well, I get that. I do. But you have to get over it. For my sake, and your sake, but mostly Tonia’s, because Jesus, if you try to wrap her up in cotton wool, you’ll do nothing more than fuck her off.

“Look at this place. She works here. She’s a doctor. She’s smart. You can’t coddle her. She won’t let you. She’s too used to being independent. You do anything to hold her back, and she’ll resent you.”

Graver knew where J was coming from, but all he had to say was, “Paper injures humans.”

Justiss rolled his eyes, but before he could say a damn thing, the curtain rolled back again. “Skin, especially on the hands, can be quite tender. Not every sheet of paper will do it. Just some.” Their mate studied them both, a faint smile on her lips. “Don’t worry. We won’t bleed out from a paper cut. I won’t die from anything so humbling.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Justiss pointed out, swinging his legs down to the ground and getting up onto his feet. He was a little woozy at first, a little unsteady; a factor both he and Toni monitored until he ceased wobbling. “Neither was Graver, not really. We’re just not used to being around humans, that’s all.”

“Speak for yourself. My ma’s human, but she’s not as fragile now she’s bound.” He grimaced. “Sorry, Toni, if you overheard all our conversation. I wasn’t implying anything…”

She sighed, reached over, and patted his arm. “Don’t worry, Aaron. It seems like it’s been a stressful night for you. I know it has been for me, and for Justiss too. Maybe we should all see about getting some rest, eh? Because if you apologize anymore tonight, I think I’m going to have to nickname you ‘Sorry.’”

Graver let out a weary breath that ended on a faint chuckle. “I think that’s a great idea.”

* * *

Justiss’s roar reverberated around the yard. Graver’s followed soon after. All Toni could see was two sets of beady eyes staring at her from amid the darkness of the garden out back.

She knew they were watching her. Knew they were making sure she was comfortable before they did what they had to do in their other forms. What that was exactly, Toni didn’t know. She figured from her training that the act of shifting shapes imbued them with energy and magic, refueling their empty tanks as it were. And considering what had happened tonight, to both of them, she could only assume those tanks of theirs were almost running dry.

Another howl echoed around the yard, and she figured they’d loped off. It was too dark to have visual confirmation of that supposition however, a thought that had her moving away from the windows and turning toward the bright lights in the room.

She’d yet to let on that she was terrified of the dark, but it would come soon, because they’d been disappointed about her not wanting to meet their bears. Ordinarily, she would have loved to. A doctor didn’t study Shifter healing without having any interest in the species, but no amount of interest outweighed her terror. There was no way she was standing outside in the yard in the full black of night, even if it meant watching her mates turn into beasts.

The ride home had been an effort in torture. She’d been blanketed by the darkness on all sides, driving away from home, her sanctuary, and not toward it. It was a wonder she’d hadn’t completely lost it, but her mates had grounded her. She’d been tucked in between Justiss and Graver, protected from the night, even if she had been in a pick-up truck with another huge Shifter at the wheel and a tiny blonde as a passenger who kept peering back to stare at them all as though they were the major stars in a freak show.

The night seemed to be getting weirder for the entire MC, but that was nothing for Toni.

This morning, she’d been dreading going in for her shift, hating the fact she’d be leaving soon after midnight. Knowing she’d be terrified as she drove back home. She’d had to force herself to eat, force herself to pack food for her to munch on during breaks, and had known that the day would only be a shittier one because Rodriguez would be working part of the shift with her.

Aside from that, from her fear of the dark, life was as bland this morning as it had been the day before, and as it should have been tomorrow.

Toni’s life was as comfortable as she could make it. Her parents’ life insurance, as well as the inheritance she’d received after her grandparents, her mother’s parents, had died and left her alone in this world, had paid for med school. She was close to a promotion at the hospital, spent very little on herself, and lived in the house her father’s parents had left her. Financially, she was secure. Emotionally, she was insecure. But she had stability in one part of her life, and job satisfaction glued the other parts of her together.

But now, that was all changing.

She’d always been fascinated by Shifters, had loved learning about them and their heroics when they’d revealed their identities to the world to save the Allies from the Nazis. Their tales of bravery had astonished her, because at heart, she was such a coward. In the face of their strength and capabilities, she’d been floored. And the idea of being able to help them, to heal them, made her feel like she was borrowing some of their strength. It was a notion that had helped her through some tough times, because if she was smart enough and strong enough to fix the bravest people in the world, then she could do anything, couldn’t she?

Shifters rarely came into the ER though. Only the threat of death ever brought them into her vicinity, so seeing Justiss tonight was unusual. But to learn that she had not one, but two mates? Men from a species she’d been fascinated with since she was little?

Talk about overwhelming.

Then, throw in the fact they ran with an MC… Yeah, Toni still didn’t know what to do with that.

She was upper middle class to her marrow. Her father, had he survived, had been an eminent lawyer, and his mother had always told a tiny Toni how he’d have gone into politics eventually because he’d wanted to make a difference. Given his background, his education, and the people he knew, Toni had no doubt if her papa had wanted to run for Congress or something nuts like that, he’d have achieved his goal. Because if he had any flaws, her mother would have patchworked it up. With her brains, beauty, and her own connections, they’d been the perfect power couple.

And yet, here Toni was. Knee deep in a motorcycle club.

This morning, the very notion would have made her laugh out loud with the ridiculousness of it.

Now, however, she was seated in what Graver had called the ‘rec room’ and was looking out a patio door onto a blacker than black yard where her two mates were bumbling around like toddlers in their bear form.

It beggared belief. Yet, the fact she could look through the glass onto the garden, and without breaking into a cold sweat, told her something—something she’d learned on the ride over here… When these two men were close, her panic over the dark abated.

Hell, it was still there.

Panic was close to choking her. But by now, it would have choked her already. She’d had panic attacks over less than a full out ride to Channelview in the dark, and now, staring out onto the endless night the way she was should have been like a shot to the gut. But she wasn’t choking.

She was breathing.

Quite easily, too.

Sure, the bottle of beer in her hand might have helped a little, but it hadn’t been a miracle worker before. So, nothing more than knowing those two men were close, that they were hers, helped her phobia.

It was a notion that required further study, but for the moment, she was too tired. Just because she hadn’t had a panic attack didn’t mean she wasn’t still a little buzzy from the adrenaline high of being out at night so long. But the truth was, she was the center of attention in the rec room too, so that was also spreading her discomfort thinner than usual, diverting her focus from her fears.

The room was large, about the size of a ballroom, all told. As mean as it sounded, what shocked her the most, was how clean it was. One side of the space held a long counter. Behind the gleaming block, were hundreds of dust-free liquor bottles and a couple of drafts beer taps that sweated in the warm night. Next to the bar was a pool table. A dozen or so men were around that, some playing pool, others shooting shit, all of them gambling. There were lots of mismatched tables and chairs dotted here and there, lots of men sat next to them, on them, and even beneath them. There were men everywhere.

But she guessed that made sense considering this was a Shifter Clan, and the number of female births was ridiculously low—something like one in every seventy-five male child births—so the disproportionate population of the room’s inhabitants made perfect sense.

Still, the rec room was neither the best, nor the worst, place to sit. It was clean, which was a plus, but there were so many people, which was a negative. She was only here because one of the leaders, Mars, and his mate had gone off to organize them a room. The challenge Justiss had taken part in tonight, the one that had led to his deadly stabbing, had earned him a place on the council. And now that he was mated too meant he got some swanky new quarters.

She wrinkled her nose at the thought, wondering if her idea of swanky and theirs were aligned. The notion made her feel like a snob, but she could feel the differences between herself and her mates. It wasn’t just a case of seeing them, but knowing they existed.

Truth was, in her social strata, this kind of bonding should be a nightmare. It only wasn’t because she existed outside her social strata thanks to her phobias. There would be issues if neither man attempted to address their differences in a healthy way. She understood that they were brothers in this Clan and that the MC functioned in far more ways than simply a club for outlaws, but she had a life of her own, a life that she couldn’t and wouldn’t abandon.

From what she’d seen thus far of the other mated women, that hadn’t happened so much.

Not that she’d had a chance to analyze much, but still, it didn’t take a lot. One of them, a woman called Christie, spent half her time rolling in and out of bed with morning sickness. Annette, the President’s mate, looked like his right-hand man. There was the little blond who had driven them back to the compound, and she had illegal immigrant scrawled all over her. So, of the three women, they were all engaged heavily in the club. And while she’d play her part, she was a doctor.

She knew that would be something they’d think was handy for the Clan, a healer mated into the unit, but Shifters simply weren’t ill often enough to have need of her constantly.

Humans, on the other hand, were not so sturdy.

She didn’t know where her place would be in the MC, and she refused to worry over it. She and her mates would have to meet in the middle, because there was no way she was giving up her life’s work not to function solely in this dump.

Still, she was being harsh. Neither Justiss and Graver had seemed the sort to try to tie her to this place. Graver looked protective, but Justiss had a benevolent air about him, one that made her feel like he’d help her spread her wings, so long as those wings didn’t take her too far away from him.

She could handle that. Now she’d met them, she didn’t want to be all that far from them. And if she had to explain that to a living soul, Toni knew she’d never be able to do it. How she could feel so much and in such a short space of time truly beggared belief.

“You’ll get used to it.”

The voice was both sweet and surly, and it dragged Toni away from her musings. She peered up at a drawn face, wan and pale, thin too, but pretty. A big belly and big boobs gave her away as the pregnant female who spent most of her time worshipping the porcelain goddess.

“I will?”

The woman she knew to be Christie sighed. “Yeah. You’ll have more choices. It will be easier for you.” She didn’t like the sound of that. Christie didn’t have choices? Before she could even question the way the other woman had phrased that, Christie wrinkled her nose. “I need to stop explaining it like that. Mundo, my mate, says it makes him sound like a wife beater or something. Which he isn’t. I-It’s just, I used to be a dentist who worked for the DoJ. A gang thought they could use me as their personal messenger. They kidnapped me, nearly killed Mundo to get to me, and now, Mundo’s so terrified that someone else will try again, he’ll only let me go private practice.”

Toni’s eyes flared wide at the blasé way Christie had mentioned kidnapping, attempted murder, and gang messenger. They hadn’t even introduced themselves and already, she’d poured out that sorry tale. Jesus, what was she letting herself in for?

“The irony is,” Christie continued, ignoring the look of panic Toni was sure was written on her face, “it wasn’t even getting involved with the guys that got me in trouble. I mean, I mated into an MC. You’d think they’d be the source of all my woes. Instead, nope. They’ve gone to war for me though. They’re protecting me even though it’s hurting them.” Her smile was gentle. “I guess that’s one weird introduction, and I’m sorry I offloaded that onto you right from the start, but I was just trying to explain… They may look rough around the edges, but they’re good people.”

“I didn’t think they weren’t,” Toni murmured immediately.

“You didn’t have to say anything. I saw it on your face. You’re pretty easy to read.”

Mortified, Toni ducked her head. As she did, she caught sight of her sweating beer, held onto it like the lifeline it was, and sank back a large gulp. When she did, Christie chuckled and patted her shoulder.

“Man, I wish I could do that. I’ve been craving beer like crazy.”

Toni cocked a brow. “That’s an unusual craving.”

“Tell me about it. Mundo would let me have it. He says that Shifter babies are from tougher stock than human ones, but I’m not screwing my kid up in utero. Hell, we’ll have plenty of chances to do that when the kid’s finally out.”

Toni smirked, amused despite herself. “That’s one way to think about parenting.”

Christie wafted a hand. “Tell me you don’t think I’m right.”

“I can’t.” Christie grinned and took the seat next to Toni, who immediately apologized. “Sorry, I should have invited you to take a seat earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s good to be on the move. I haven’t been so sick today.”

“I overheard Annette saying you were having a good day.”

She nodded. “I am. For once.” Christie hesitated a second, then leaning forward, murmured, “I have a talent for smells.”

Amused, Toni asked, “You have a super nose?”

Christie shrugged a shoulder. “I guess you could put it like that. They won’t tell you this, and I probably shouldn’t either, but when they bind themselves to you, during the mating process, you’ll get a little stronger, a lot healthier, and their magic will lend itself to you.”

“What does that mean?”

Christie was about to reply when a man appeared, inserting himself between them, and making Christie jump in the process as he asked, “You ladies need a drink?”

“Jarvis! You scared the hell out of me!”

“You two looked mighty deep into your conversation. I thought you might be feeling thirsty.”

She patted him on the arm. “Thanks, sweetie. I’d love an iced tea.”

Toni waggled her bottle. “I’m good, thanks. Still have plenty left.”

Jarvis nodded, smiled, then retreated to the bar.

“They do that. Coddle you. We’re like their lifeblood. They’re all waiting for their mate, so when we’re around, we’re like surrogates.”

Toni’s brows rose. “Is that healthy?”

“Probably not, but these guys are over a hundred years old.” She shrugged. “They’re mighty lonely. Plus, it doesn’t do them or us any harm, so why stop them?”

Because she couldn’t argue with that reasoning, she stayed silent as Jarvis returned, glass of iced tea in his hand. He squeezed Christie’s shoulder, tenderly patted her swollen belly, smiled at Toni, then disappeared once more.

Christie took a deep sip of her drink, sighed with gusto, then replied, “That hits the spot. Anyway, I was saying. During the bonding process, you’ll get a gift. Sounds crazy, but it’s just the way it works. Mine is smell. I can smell everything.” She gulped. “I can smell the hospital on your scrubs and the fact that Jarvis had sushi for lunch. It makes it hard when you’re pregnant and uber sensitive to smells. I don’t think there’s any other reason for my all-day-sickness.”

Toni gave her a commiserating grimace. “That sucks, Christie. I’m so sorry.”

“I know. I told Mundo that I thought he and his Goddesses were insane if they thought this was a damn gift.”

“Yeah, it’s definitely a little out there.”

“I’m just tired of being sick all the time. I mean, I always bitched about being curvier than I liked, but this is ridiculous.”

Toni frowned. “How much weight have you lost?”

“Twenty pounds?”

“Have you been to the doctor? Selected an OB/GYN?”

Christie’s mouth pinched. “No. We’re at war with a lot of gangs and cartels at the moment. It’s not safe for me to leave when I’m pregnant. The others go out with guards, but…”

“You need meds, Christie. You need blood work. There are drugs you can take to ease the nausea.”

“I know there are, Toni. I went to med school too.” She ran a fingertip over the rim of the glass then flushed as she looked up. “Mundo is trying to get me to go, but I’m scared to leave this place. I know I’m safe here. The last time I went out, I was kidnapped.” She blew out a breath. “I think I need to see more than just the OB/GYN.”

“Well, shrinks make house calls.”

Christie jerked a shoulder. “I’m sure they do, I just don’t like them. Before Mundo, I was married, but he died, and I visited a lot of shrinks back then, trying to cope. I hated it though. I’ve always been quite a quiet and private person. Sharing all those intimate details about killed me, and now Mundo’s my mate and he’s a Shifter? I don’t want people to know.”

“Why not?”

She wrinkled her nose. “It’s stupid, but they get you all paranoid about it. It’s not something they say or try to enforce, it’s just the way they are, you know? Even my folks don’t know Mundo’s a Shifter. When they come down to meet him, I’ll tell them then, but I just keep it under wraps. Need to know basis, I suppose.”

That was weird. It wasn’t for Toni, because she had no one she’d tell anyway. Her life was pretty quiet on the social front, after all. But a woman who had family hadn’t yet told them? Either she was ashamed or she was uncomfortable. But why?

“Anyway,” she murmured, looking content to change the subject. “I just wanted to introduce myself and say they’re not a bad bunch.”

“I’m not sure if you’ve convinced me, Christie,” Toni told her wryly. When the other woman flushed in discomfort, she reached forward and patted her hand. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going anywhere. I just—I’m not sure if this life is for me.”

Christie nodded. “I can understand that. It isn’t for me. The minute I’ve popped out Junior here and my head is screwed on straight again, I’m setting up my private practice. Plus, I have my apartment in the city, and I intend for us to live there a lot of the time. They can’t cut themselves off from this place, Toni. I warn you of that. This is like their family home. They can’t do without it. It’s not good for them.”

Relieved that Christie wasn’t as dependent on the Clan as she’d feared and had plans for life outside of the MC when she was better, Toni felt like she could relax a little. Tension seeped from her at the notion this didn’t have to be the center of their world, even if it was a place her mates always called home.

“You’ve made me feel better, Christie. So, thanks for that.”

Christie shrugged. “Least I could do. I mean, Graver and Justiss are important members of the Clan. When Moses attacked Justiss tonight, I’ve never seen the guys so badly hit. Moses will pay for what he did. I don’t think he realizes what he started.

“It’s such shitty timing too. What with all these problems with gangs, the last thing we need is infighting, but it’s been like this since Annette and Mars mated.”

“It has? Why?”

Christie leaned in, settling into the classic, ‘I’m about to gossip,’ pose. “When Annette and Mars met, the ex-President, a douche by the name of Jefferson, was into some really shady business with a cartel. They were trafficking women from the Ukraine, and bringing them into America.”

Toni gasped. “And the men were happy with that?”

Christie’s grimace wasn’t reassuring. “To be honest, I’m not sure. From what I can tell, most of them weren’t, and I know the current council was very unhappy with Jefferson’s rule. But a lot of the guys, they’re just like humans… they listen to the man in charge and do as they’re told without question.

“Well, anyway, that’s all in the past now, and the current council is changing the way the MC does business.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Toni interrupted, and she knew Christie had heard her sarcasm when she winced in reaction.

“Look, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just telling you what went down.”

Because she was right, Toni nodded. “Sorry. I just… I see a lot of shit in my job. I don’t want to be around people who are the instigators of those things.”

“I get that. Totally. But they’re not the bad guys. Some were just dumb and did as they were told. Others weren’t, so they changed the status quo.” Her smile was warm. “Our mates were the ones who opposed Jefferson.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Toni choked out.

“Anyway, let me finish explaining. So, Jefferson got the MC into bed with a cartel, but Mars and some of the brothers couldn’t stand what they were doing. Mars and Mundo, my mate, got in touch with a reporter, Annette, and when they all met up, Mars and Annette learned they were mates. When he brought her back here for the bonding, the cartel attacked the clubhouse. Jefferson had screwed them over. But a bullet ricocheted into Mars’ bedroom and hit Annette. She’d have died if he hadn’t done this weird blood sacrifice thing, but because of that, he challenged the Prez and won. He was already second-in-command, but after that, he was the leader. It’s all very primal and raw,” Christie finished with a nose wrinkle. “I sometimes feel like I belong on a HBO TV show, and then I puke, and I realize I’m not so lucky.”

Despite herself, and the bucket load of shit Christie had just tossed her way, Toni chuckled. “I’m not sure how you made all that seem okay, but you did.” She winced a little as she asked, “When you say challenged, you mean…?”

“Fight to the death.” Christie nodded. “Yeah. Told you. HBO show, am I right? Especially with all the sex, because Jeeeezuuuussssss. You have a lot of sex to look forward to. And hell, you have two of them. I expect you to be walking bow-legged tomorrow.”

Though she blushed in embarrassment, Toni couldn’t help but chuckle at Christie’s forwardness. They shared a bawdy laugh, each flushing when their eyes met because what Christie had said was too ludicrous for words and yet utterly, hysterically true too.

“I don’t think there’ll be much of that tonight,” Toni confessed. “I’m exhausted, Justiss almost died, and Graver lost a lot of blood to save him.”

“Oh,” Christie groused, looking disappointed. “That sucks, but of course, I should have realized. Justiss just looks like he did before. It was stupid of me to think he wouldn’t be feeling the after-effects of what happened to him. Trouble is, you stay around these guys for long and you start to think they’re infallible. Mundo works on bikes and at the MC’s bike shops. Last week, a bike ran over his foot. He just hopped around like he’d stubbed a toe or something. I thought he’d have broken at least a couple of toes, but nope. He just had a few bruises. It’s insane how strong they are.”

“Yeah. I guess it must be hard to come to terms with, especially for us. We’re both in medicine, you know? We’re both used to the frailty of mankind.”

Christie nodded. “Exactly. I mean, I’m glad. The stuff that happens in this place, it’s a good thing they’re hardy. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

Her words prompted Toni to ask, “You were saying though… about why there have been problems with gangs and such.”

“Well, when Mars took over as Prez, he cut ties with the cartel, and the MC raided their warehouse and stole a shipment of girls. They housed them here for a while, but most of them left on their own volition. There are only a few still around, and the woman who drove you to the hospital tonight? Mischa? She’s one of them, and she’s Kiko’s mate. He’s the second-in-command around here.

“So, the cartel’s allies are against us, plus there’s the issue with the gang that wanted to use me to transport messages into jail for them… It’s just a shitstorm, really. The guys are trying to make the MC more legitimate, and so much is working against them. They’re working hard though, which is why Justiss got attacked today.”

Toni’s curiosity pricked up. “Why?”

“Well, Justiss was kind of badly treated by the old President. He’s forward thinking, according to Mundo. He had a lot of business ideas for the MC, but Jefferson just wanted to stay as they were—more outside the law, than inside it, you know? So, when Justiss came up with all these ideas, Jefferson just blanked him, kind of exiled him, but without making him leave the Clan.

“Problem is, when Mars took over, Jefferson still had his supporters. As with anything, there are the good guys and the bad guys. There are some who don’t want to go the legal route, and they basically congregated together and are stirring up shit in the MC. To stop it, the council decided to challenge Jefferson’s supporters. Problem is, challenges are to the death, and mated Shifters can’t take part in them unless it’s an honor thing.” She paused a second, tapped a finger against her lips, and said, “In fact, it’s more than that I think. Because Mars challenged Jefferson when he’d just mated Annette. I guess the rules change when a mate’s in danger or has been endangered by another Shifter. I’ll have to ask Mundo if that’s right, but anyway, the council decided to ask a few men to challenge Jefferson’s pals in their stead, and Justiss was one of them. He won today, and as a result, gets a seat on the council. That obviously didn’t go down well with some people, and we know what the end result was.”

Toni sucked in a deep breath. Christie’s chatty tone made it hard to remember that this was real life. She was talking about it like someone would discuss the plot of their favorite show, but all of this had happened. Hours before, Justiss had been lying in a pool of his own blood somewhere in this building, and today, undoubtedly out in the yard, a challenge had taken place and her mate had murdered another bear.

Jesus, what had she gotten herself involved in?

She sank back a deep gulp of beer and felt the yeasty tang untangle a few knots in her gut. It was a temporary solution, but it helped for now.

Christie seemed to understand how overwhelmed she felt, and said, “I probably shouldn’t have told you any of this. It’s a bit nuts.”

“A bit?” Toni breathed, incredulity effervescent in her words. When Christie bit her lip nervously, Toni shook her head. “Look, don’t worry about it. Thank you for telling me. I guess I needed to know all this.”

“Your mates should probably have been the ones to fill you in, but to be honest, I wish someone had just laid it all down for me like this, you know? It would have helped me find my balance right from the start. Annette tried to help, and she’s great, she really is, but she’s the Prez’s mate. Do you know what I mean? She doesn’t mean to, but she’s so busy all the time, and I hate going to her for anything.” She grimaced. “I think she’d feel badly if she knew that, but you can’t help how you feel, right?”

“No, you can’t,” Toni agreed. “I’ve only barely met her, but she went off straight away to sort out a place for us to sleep. She seemed nice, like you said. But it does make a difference when someone’s mated to a leader. They’re on a different level.

Christie sighed with satisfaction. “You understand. Thank God. I felt like I was alone, because Mischa and she seem to get on great, but then, that’s probably because they’ve spent a lot of time together. Annette’s a reporter, and she’s been working on a human trafficking story, so Mischa has been helping her out with that.”

Toni shook her head at the insanity of life in this place. She wasn’t sure if she appreciated the deluge of information, but she could tell that Christie had meant well by it. She hadn’t offloaded the whole shitstorm with any malice, just a desire to clear the air and make Toni understand the way of life here. That way of life seemed more and more crazy, so she wasn’t sure how well Christie’s plan had worked. But regardless, whether she detested the MC or not, it hadn’t changed the connection she had with her mates. That wasn’t going anywhere.

“Jesus, there’s so much going on in this place. You’re right. They need their own reality-docu show.”

Christie chuckled. “You bet they do. It’s nuts, but hell, it’s becoming the norm now. The craziest shit happens, and I’m getting immune to it. Although, I’ll not lie, I’m pleased as hell they’re going legitimate. It just helps me sleep better at night, and now Justiss is on the council, the legal route should be cemented in place.”

Toni smiled at that. She could see Justiss being the voice of reason, making sense out of the insane. Graver had been quieter tonight, less open, and more uptight, which made perfect sense after what had happened today. “What’s Graver’s story then?”

“Oh, well, he’s only a baby in the Clan. He’s really young.” She laughed. “He’s only fifty or something.”

They shared a chuckle. “God, that’s a baby, huh?”

“Yup. So, he’s got a lot of people who respect him simply because he had two brothers who died on MC business.” She shrugged. “From what I can gather, the Graver family was a popular one. Their dad might have been involved way back then, but he got out.” She took a sip of her ice tea, swirling the liquid around so the ice clinked and tinkled against the glass. “He’s new, but they don’t treat him like that. Not really. They don’t treat Mundo like that either. He’s young as well, but he’s on the council. I think Mundo said they want Graver on the council too, but now he’s mated to you, I’m not sure how that will pan out. Graver was one of the guys the council wanted to challenge Jefferson’s supporters.” Christie must have seen her panic, because she held out a hand. “Don’t worry, Toni. I’m sure that’s not going to happen anymore anyway. What Moses did to Justiss will change the lay of the land. A lot. Things are changing here, and I’ll not lie, you’ve picked a hell of a time to join the fun.”

Toni scrubbed a hand over her face. “This is batshit crazy.”

“Yep.” Christie reached over and patted her on the shoulder. “Will you be my OB/GYN?”

The out of the blue question had Toni snorting, because for some reason, Christie was acting like they’d known each other longer for far longer than thirty minutes.

“I shouldn’t enable you,” she chided. “You need to leave the clubhouse at some point. What about buying all the baby’s stuff?”

“Amazon delivers, you know? It’s kind of their thing.”

“You’re going to be stubborn about this, aren’t you?”

For some reason, Christie seemed pleased by her assessment. “I think we’re going to be friends.”

“You do, huh?” Toni couldn’t help but grin. She hadn’t had a friend in… Christ, she didn’t know how long. The notion wasn’t too displeasing, and she liked Christie’s openness. Even in the face of parting with bad or discomforting news, she’d spilled out the truth and left Toni to deal with the consequences of that.

It was refreshing.

Not many people liked the truth, but Toni lived by it. The reason she had no real friends was because they couldn’t handle her bluntness, but she got the feeling Christie wouldn’t mind. She might even enjoy Toni’s sharp wit when it came to doling out her honest opinions.

“I don’t advise it. I’m a trauma specialist, not a new human specialist.”

Christie shrugged that off. “It’s better than nothing, right?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not. Not when you don’t have to settle for ‘better than nothing.’ Don’t you want the best for your baby?”

“Yeah, I do, and I figure overdosing him or her with cortisol because his mama is stressed as fuck every time she steps foot outside the clubhouse isn’t the way to give them the best.”

Toni conceded that by pursing her lips. She narrowed her eyes at the other woman, took a final sip of her beer, then negotiated, “I’ll treat you, handle your bloodwork, make sure you’re okay… But, when you reach the second trimester, you have to see an OB/GYN for a sonogram. And, we need to arrange a shrink to come to you to help you get over your fears.”

She was well aware that she was being a hypocrite, chiding Christie on her fears when Toni’s phobia ruled her life and had done so for decades. But she was in doctor mode, and her patient needed help. Plus, the baby needed to be scanned.

Shifter pregnancies developed differently to human babies, and there had been a short segment of her training spent on that development, but it had been another specialty. She’d just focused on trauma as that was where her talents lay.

“Okay. I agree. I know I need a sonogram, but I would just like to wait for as long as I can.”

“I understand that.” She rubbed her chin. “There are course materials I could send for, things that would help me help you. I trained in Shifter healing, but I only specialized on trauma, not this. I guess it would be useful for the future to know about this shit.”

Christie leaned over for both of Toni’s hands and squeezed them. “Thank you, Toni. I really appreciate this. You’ve no idea how much.”

No, Toni really did know, but she wasn’t going to let on just yet about her own phobia. It might have been a great time to share, only the truth was, she didn’t want to discourage Christie from seeing a shrink. If she’d divulged the truth about her own fears, Christie might have questioned the point of seeing a psychologist, and that wasn’t an option. Not when the health of her child was on the line.

So, for the first time in her life, Toni withheld the whole truth from a patient.

And as she did, she had to wonder how else the MC would forge her and what her new mates’ influence on her nature would herald.

The truth was, however, she was way too tired to do much more than ‘wonder’ about those things. And when she saw her mates stepping forth from the darkness, the faint lights from the terrace gleaming over their bare forms, thoughts in general were wiped from her brain.

Christie’s chuckle had her turning to face the other woman. Toni watched as Christie scraped her chair back and got unevenly to her feet. “I’ll leave you to your mates.” She winked. “Very pretty. We’re very lucky ladies, aren’t we?”