CHAPTER SIXTEEN
At first, Alex refused to meet without Ron present. So I told him--through Jules--that either we had the meeting with just the band, or I sent my notice to the label that I was quitting. Since we’d managed to negotiate ownership of all our masters, they couldn’t put the album out without me.
So, Alex set a meeting for the weekend, and I went with it just because I didn’t know if I’d be able to see his cocky-ass face without punching it. Better to let it wait, I’d decided. The rest of the guys in the band went to the studio separately in between, re-recording old parts and tweaking a few things so that at least we wouldn’t all be out of the studio, letting things hang, pissing off the label.
In the meantime, I was more or less by myself for the few days before the meeting, and all I had to amuse myself was thinking about what Jules said, drinking, smoking a little pot, and watching TV. I binge-watched House, M.D. almost all the way through in two days, trying not to think about what a fucking shit show everything had become. My phone rang every couple of hours--one of the guys in the band, or Ron, or in a few cases, Allie, calling me. I didn’t answer it most of the time, even if it was Nick or Dan. I just didn’t feel like it.
I had fallen asleep on my couch--in the middle of a three-episode run of House--when I heard a knock at my door; it jolted me right out of a dream about what my life would have been like if I’d somehow become a doctor instead of a drummer, following House, working under him. The knock at my door shattered the dream, and I almost tumbled onto the floor of my living room in surprise.
Another knock brought me to my feet, and in spite of how self-pitying I felt, I couldn’t help but be a little curious. Who the hell is knocking on my door? It was mid-afternoon; it wasn’t likely to be anyone from the band, my mom would have called ahead, and my friends outside the band didn’t even know I’d be home. I padded towards the door, and whoever was on the other side of it knocked again. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” I was starting to feel irritated at whoever-it-was.
I didn’t even bother to look through the peephole; I just unlocked and opened the door. Of all of the people I thought it could be, every possibility that had flashed through my head while I walked to answer the door, I wasn’t expecting Allie. My first instinct was the close the door immediately--slam it in her face. I started to, and she put her hand on the door frame.
“Look, Mark,” she said, meeting my gaze in spite of me, “I just want you to give me--like--five minutes. If you want me to leave after that, then I will.”
“If I want you to leave right now, you will,” I said, scowling at her. She sighed.
“Please just give me a chance to explain what happened, okay?” Allie looked at me, and I could see that she’d been crying. Well she fucking should be crying, I thought, remembering what I’d seen. “Mark, just give me five minutes. Please.” I took a deep breath. Technically I didn’t have to listen to a goddamn thing she had to say; technically I could close the door on her hand--but that would take away whatever moral high ground I had in a way that beating the fuck out of Alex wouldn’t.
“Five minutes,” I said. I tapped at my pockets and found my lighter and cigarettes--miraculously not crushed--and opened the door wide enough for me to step through it. “And you’re not coming in.”
“That’s fair,” Allie said quietly. She followed me out of my door and down the outdoor hallway towards a little bench at the end of the row. I sat down next to the “smoker’s outpost” and took my cigs and lighter out of my pocket.
“You have until I’m done with this,” I told her, bringing a cigarette up to my mouth and lighting it.
“I didn’t kiss him,” Allie said. “He kissed me.”
“So far not really changing my opinion all that much,” I told her, exhaling the first drag of smoke from my lungs.
“Alex saw me outside, and started talking to me,” Allie told me. “He said that he knew that I was just using you, that all I wanted was to become some famous musician photographer like Autumn de Wilde or someone like that.”
“You’ve got about another three minutes to explain to me how that ended up with the two of you kissing,” I said.
“He got pissed when I kept saying that I really just liked you--that it was complete chance that I saw you at the festival, and that if he had a problem with me taking pictures of you guys, I’d let him delete all of the photos right then and there,” Allie said.
“Two minutes,” I told her. I flicked ash off the end of my cig.
“He said that he was going to prove that I was up to no good and grabbed me and kissed me,” Allie said, and there were tears in her eyes. “I was so shocked that I didn’t even know what to do right away. And then you came out right when I started to get my wits about me to push him away.” Allie kept her gaze locked onto my face and I could feel something in me starting to ache; I actually felt guilty. “But I guess at least Alex gets what he wants: even if you do forgive me, I never want to be in the same room as him ever again.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed it,” I said after a few moments. I stubbed out my cigarette and stuffed it into the little hole at the top of the outpost. “I should have known that Alex would pull something.” I made a face. “I thought it would be a fight, or something like that.”
“You believe me?” Allie’s expression brightened, and for a moment a dark, gloomy little voice in my head suggested that it was because she was trying to put something over on me. But I’d spent a couple of days thinking about what Jules had said, about everything that had gone on between Allie and me before the incident, about everything I knew about Alex.
“I’m saying I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt,” I said, taking a quick breath. “I’ve been kind of stewing on this for a couple of days anyway.” I smiled at her weakly.
“I just…” Allie sighed, shaking her head. “I felt terrible about it, and I knew that you wouldn’t answer the phone, and that I probably shouldn’t even try talking to you in person but I had to do something.” She looked at me for a long moment. “Is it crazy for me to say I think I’m actually…” she pressed her lips together, “actually in love with you?”
“Well, we did see each other for about a month before this happened,” I said, but my heart was beating faster in my chest at the words.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” Allie said quickly. “Just...I wanted you to know.” She stepped closer to me, and I didn’t try and wave her away; Allie leaned in and kissed my forehead, and then--after a quick pause, a hesitation--she kissed me on the lips.
Almost on instinct, I wrapped my arms around her, holding her body close. She felt so good, pressed against me, better than I even remembered--and I’d spent days remembering. I deepened the kiss, sliding my tongue against her lips until she opened her mouth. A little flare of jealousy lit up in me again, but there was nothing at all about Alex in the taste of her lips. I broke away from the kiss after a few minutes and met Allie’s gaze.
“I need some time,” I told her. “Let me get your stuff out of my car. But this…” I smiled, just a little. “I think we can be okay.” I reached out and offered Allie my hand; she took it, and once again it just felt so fucking good. “I am going to beat the shit out of Alex.”