Chapter Six – Dean

She tasted divine. He would never taste anything better in his whole life. And she was his. This first step, this first exploration of each other’s body told him all he needed to know. It swept away any doubt. They were meant to be together, and Elizabeth was willing to accept him.

He wanted to jump up and down and shout it out to the world. And his bear wanted to run to the top of the mountain and roar it from the highest peak. They settled for a small sigh of contentment as the kiss broke.

“Wow.” He grinned at her.

She gave a small embarrassed laugh. “Wow.”

“I was worried I had forgotten how to do that.” He gave a small shrug, embarrassed at his own admission. “I’m not good at playing loose and cool.”

Her lips twitched as she smothered another laugh. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin. So let’s just be ourselves, and be honest.” Her eyes shone in the moonlight, and he wanted to take her hand and lead her onto the grass and make love to her under the light of the moon. To touch her pale, naked flesh, and kiss her red lips.

“Honest, I can do.”

Dean wrapped her in his strong arms. He was a good foot or more taller than Elizabeth, although that didn’t make her small. He’d always been one of the tallest when he was at school, and he hadn’t stopped growing, despite his mom’s complaints about always having to buy new clothes. The one advantage of being tall was Elizabeth could rest her head on his chest, and he could kiss the top of her head.

“This is nice.” Elizabeth lifted her arms and hugged him right back.

“We could stay here all night if you want.” He drew her closer to him, warming her with his body. “But we should maybe go inside and eat.”

She drew back from him and tilted her chin to look up at him. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

“Picking me.”

“I can’t take credit for that,” Dean told her as he took her hand and led her inside. “The credit goes to fate.” He stopped outside the back door and looked down on her. “But if I did have a choice, if I did get to pick. It would be you.”

She gave him a soft thump in the chest. “Do you teach all your kids to be romantics too?”

He chuckled as they went back inside and he shut the back door against the chill night air. “Honestly, all I do is teach my kids to respect themselves and each other. Boy or girl. It doesn’t matter.”

“So, what do you want me to do?” Elizabeth asked as they reached the warmth of the kitchen once more.

“I want you to sit right there and tell me about yourself.” Dean went over to the oven and pulled out the chicken. He added the herbs and gave it a stir, before adding more stock.

“That smells delicious.” Elizabeth leaned forward and inhaled the aroma of the dish.

“It will taste delicious too.” He put the pan back in the oven and shut the door, before reaching for the bottle of wine and refilling their glasses. “So tell me something about Elizabeth McLeish.”

She shook her head. “There is so little to tell.” She was evading the question.

“I don’t believe that.” He sipped his wine. “OK, I’ll go first. I’m a huge fan of Madonna.”

She laughed. “Really?”

“Yep, I had a young lady staying here for a year or two, and she played Madonna’s songs over and over. Catchy. We even went to a concert.”

“You went to a Madonna concert?” Elizabeth’s eyes danced as she laughed.

“I will do anything for my kids.” He grinned. “At least that’s what I told my buddies. I was never going to admit how much I enjoyed it myself.”

“I’ll keep your secret,” Elizabeth promised.

“Now, your turn. Your deepest, darkest secret.” He sipped his wine and watched her face as she concentrated on her memories. He loved the way her forehead creased in the middle as she drew up her eyebrows.

“I don’t have any secrets.” She looked perplexed.

“No hidden vices, such as liking too much ketchup on your fries?” Dean sat back in his chair as the aroma of the chicken filled the kitchen.

“How boring am I?” Elizabeth asked, sipping her wine, as her expression changed. She looked disappointed in herself.

“Not boring at all.” Dean got up and checked the oven. “Nearly done.”

“Oh, I have one!” Elizabeth’s face lit up. “It’s silly.”

“I swear I won’t tell another soul.” He leaned forward and Elizabeth lowered her voice as if afraid someone else might hear, even though there were only the two of them there.

“I love Halloween.”

“That’s it?” Dean asked.

“I, like, really love it. Or at least I used to, when Suzie was younger. It was the one day I could dress up, put on a mask, and go out with no fear that anyone would make fun of me, or stare. I could pull on this other persona, and throw myself into being someone else, just for a day.” She smiled as she reminisced. “We would decorate the house; it was like Christmas, we would get so excited.”

“OK, I get that,” Dean said supportively. “And just for you, every Halloween, we can throw a party, and invite everyone.”

“You don’t have to.” She shook her head.

“I want to. Halloween kind of passed me by. My kids were always older, and too cool to go trick-or-treating with an old man.”

“You aren’t old,” Elizabeth said firmly.

“Hey, anyone over twenty-five is old to a teenager.” He arched his eyebrow and nodded. “Believe me, to most of my kids, I’m ancient.”

Elizabeth giggled. “OK, a Halloween party it is. Anyway, with Storm around, you have an excuse.”

“I do. I can’t wait to do all those kind of things with her. Halloween, Christmas morning.” He sighed. “I can’t wait.”

“Kids are the most amazing gift.” Elizabeth looked at him with an expression he couldn’t read.

“That trumps my Madonna secret,” Dean told her. “You are a great mom to go to so much effort.”

Elizabeth’s smile faded. “I always thought I had to try harder. And Halloween was the one day I could cope with the best. Even if really I was just hiding away in a costume, instead of behind my front door.”

“Why do you think you had to try harder?” Dean was coming around to the conclusion that Elizabeth was the best mom a girl could have. Her hang-ups over her face had not tainted Suzie’s view of the world, but instead filled her with compassion.

“Guilt. I was never one of those moms who mixed with the other moms. I always kept myself to myself.” She twirled the stem of her glass between her finger and thumb. “After Suzie’s father. I never allowed anyone in, because I was always scared they were taking pity on me or using me.”

“That’s a lonely life to lead.”

“I know. And it was stupid. It is stupid. But I found that it became a habit. As much as drugs or drinking can be a habit. It’s easier to stick with normal than it is to try and change.” She sat up straight and looked directly at him. “You should know what you are taking on.”

Dean leaned forward across the table and kissed her lips. “I am not taking you on. I’m making a life with you. Don’t ever think I’m better than you. Don’t ever think any of this is out of pity, or that I’m only with you because fate tells me I should be.”

“It’s going to take time.” The mood had sobered, but Dean was happy she had opened up to him. That she trusted him enough to share a small tidbit of information with him. More importantly, he was happy they had laughed together. For a man like Dean, laughter was part of life. He used it to chase away sorrow and pain.

“I have all the time in the world.” He got up from his seat. “But right now, let’s eat.”

“I’m starving,” Elizabeth admitted.

“Good.” He opened the oven. “Do you want to cut up the bread? Butter is in the fridge.”

Between them, they finished preparing the meal. He could almost let himself believe that they lived here together and this was just another night at home for him and his mate. It was hard for him to believe he had only met Elizabeth today.

“This is good.” Elizabeth complimented him on the food.

“It’s not overly exotic. A few herbs, garlic…”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Elizabeth told him.

“Yes, ma’am.” He set his knife and fork down on his empty plate.

“Tell me about your fostering,” Elizabeth asked. She hadn’t finished her food and had stopped drinking wine. Of course, she was going to drive home, pity. He’d like her to stay the night and every other night after that.

“What’s to tell?” He thought for a moment. “I love kids, I love helping them, but more than anything, I love learning from them.”

“I thought you were the teacher.”

“We teach each other. Every kid is different: a different set of circumstances, a different set of problems, and usually a different way of handling it all. I’ve had angry kids, depressed kids, kids who think they should be allowed to make their own choices. Even if they’re only fifteen…”

“And Louise?” Elizabeth asked. “She’s the young woman who lives here with you now, isn’t she?”

“Louise needed a fresh start and to feel secure. She and her baby gave me a completely different perspective on life.” He glanced up at Elizabeth. “Did Suzie tell you Louise’s story mirrors your own?”

“A little. Suzie doesn’t talk about her cases much. She did tell me you didn’t make Louise leave when she turned eighteen.”

“I couldn’t. She was a kid herself, with a baby. God knows what would’ve happened to them.” He looked down at his hands. “I wish someone had been there for you.”

Elizabeth finished eating, and carefully placed her knife and fork on her plate. “That was delicious. Thank you.”

“Coffee?” Dean asked, getting up and clearing the plates. He wasn’t sure if he had pushed some kind of a boundary.

“Yes, please.” Elizabeth got up. “I’ll wash the dishes.”

“No, you’re my guest,” Dean insisted.

“I’d like to.”

Her eyes met his, and he wanted to stare at them all night and all day tomorrow, and the day after that. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” She moved to the sink, and turned on the faucet. “It’s difficult. In some ways, I wish the same thing, that someone had been there to pick us both up and help us out. But at the same time, I don’t regret any moment I spent with Suzie as a child. It’s a love I didn’t know was possible.”

“I know that feeling.” He turned his back on her and made a fresh pot of coffee.

“Do you regret not having met your mate sooner?” Elizabeth asked.

“I wish we had met sooner, yes,” Dean replied, looking at her over his shoulder. “A lot sooner.”

“And yet if we had, you would not have been here for Louise and Storm,” Elizabeth remarked.

“Oh, you’re good.” He nodded at her. “It’s all fate.”

“I suppose.” Her hand crept to her cheek. “But if I believe in all that, then I have to believe I was given this for a reason. Which means fate is a cruel mistress.”

Dean left the coffee pot and crossed the kitchen in two strides to scoop Elizabeth up in his arms. “Let’s forget all about fate. We are both here. Right now.” He kissed her, pouring all his love for her into that one kiss.

He had no answers, only what was in his heart. And that was enough for him.